


Alps

by bxxgnxt



Category: Dolan Twins - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bully, Bullying, Cheating, Cute, Emotional, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Lemon, Love, M/M, Romance, Sad, Smut, anger issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:31:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 43
Words: 115,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bxxgnxt/pseuds/bxxgnxt
Summary: Emma & Ethan hate each other, until a few drinks get thrown into the mix.or;Emma is the average girl, just trying to get through her second year of high school. Ethan is the polar opposite; loves to party, drink, hook up with random girls & has major anger issues. Ethan also bullies Emma for no reason, he had been since freshman year. But what will happen when the two that hate each other go to a party & both get drunk?





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> Hey....it’s me. This should be interesting considering that this is my first time actually posting something that I write. Uh, before you read I would just like to say that I absolutely hate Meredith & if you like Ethan then you know why. She’s a bitch. Anyway..enjoy. :)

Emma Pov.  
I sighed as I sat up & tapped my phone’s alarm off, my blankets slowly  
slipping off my body as I leaned forward to see my phone better. As I scrolled through Twitter all I saw was post after post about how today is the first day of the second year at high school. Everybody was so damn excited. In all honesty, I really wasn’t that thrilled. It’s only the second year….& it’s just high school. I also wasn’t excited to see him. But, I was excited to see my friends since it’s been almost all summer without them. I was too busy being forced by my dad to work at any job I could get. I complained at the time, but now I’m quite happy because I have a good amount of money saved up to spend throughout the year.  
I came out of my thoughts, realizing that I was just blankly staring at the  
black screen of my phone. I stepped out of my bed and trudged to my bathroom to get ready, taking a quick shower so that I could shave my legs. After my shower I got dressed in a pair of blacked ripped jeans & a white ‘Thrasher’ t-shirt, not feeling the need to dress up. I put on some simple makeup, consisting only of mascara and a small amount of eyeliner. I also straightened my long brown hair before grabbing my gym bag, phone & made a quick iced latte for breakfast. My dad was already at work—shocker—so I simply went out the door & got into my Subaru, shoving the key into the ignition. I turned on the radio after hearing the engine start up & turned the volume up as well.  
It was only a seven minute drive to school but I still never felt the need to  
walk when I could just drive. I was humming along to Billie Eilish as I pulled into the school’s parking lot & found a spot to park, cutting out the engine and stepping out into crisp air. I guess I didn’t pay much attention to the weather when I dressed this morning because it was much colder than I had expected. I let out an irritated huff, seeing my frosty breath as I shoved my hands into my jean pockets. Suddenly I felt a large weight on my back and I gasped in surprise as the weight wrapped itself around me. “Hey bitch.” Said somebody from behind me and I smirked. “Sup hoe?” I countered and turned my head, glancing behind me to see my friend Ellie on my back. She laughed and jumped off of me, looping her arm around my shoulders & walking next to me instead. “So where were you the whole summer?!” Ellie practically yelled in my ear and I cringed. “My mom made me work. The whole three months.” I replied with an annoyed tone just thinking about it. “Oh, that sucks. We could have had so much fun.” She whined and I chuckled as we entered the building.  
When we were finally inside, I began to scan the hallways & look at  
everyone. A lot of people had changed, whether it was new piercings or tattoos, boyfriends even. Ellie left my side & walked over to where I’m assuming her locker is, to get her things for first period. I reached into my back pocket of my jeans and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper that had my locker number on it. I had already memorized all of my classes since they were basically the same as last year but a few were in a different order. I uncrumpled the note between my slim fingers & read what it said; number 33. How convenient, 33 is my favorite numbe–I was ripped out of thinking as I ran into somebody and stumbled, falling onto the cheaply carpeted floor. I sucked in a breath before looking up to see who it was, already knowing by the checkered ‘Vanz’ they were wearing. I was met with dark green, almost brown eyes & ruffled black hair. Ethan Dolan. I swallowed slowly.  
Ethan lowered his eyes at me, clenching his jaw before speaking. “Watch  
where you’re going, bitch.” He spat before shoving his hands into his pocket & waltzing away. I breathed out a sigh of relief and picked myself up, brushing my shirt off. Ethan is a bitch. Anybody who goes to this school would know that. He also pushes me around, a lot. Why? I don’t even know. I never did anything to him, I guess I’m just so ugly that I deserve it. All he cares about is going to parties, getting drunk & fucking with girls only to leave them the next day. He’s a player. But somehow, he has all the girls in this school falling head over heels for him. Well, except for my friends and I since we aren’t as blind as the rest of the girls in this school. Ethan also has anger issues and won’t admit it, the smallest things make him tick & to me, it’s frightening but also amusing to see him all worked up. I glanced over to see that Ethan already had a girl pushed up against his locker and was shoving his tongue down her throat. The girl was his ‘girlfriend’ supposedly, even though they both cheat on eachother around four times a week. Meredith is her name, she’s also a bitch and likes to lower everybody’s self esteem that she sees. My friends & I like to call her ‘Merebitch’. I sighed and headed over to my new locker, putting in the combination & shoving my bag inside. I felt a tap on my shoulder & turned around, almost immediately pulling the person into a hug.  
“Grayson, oh my god.” I said excitedly as my friend gripped me tighter, I  
could almost feel his smile. “Emma. Ellie told me about why you couldn’t hangout this summer, I missed you bitch.” Grayson said, pulling away from me and raising an eyebrow. Funny coincidence, Grayson is actually Ethan’s twin brother. Yeah, I know. But Grayson is the absolute opposite of Ethan actually, I mean mostly. Grayson still hooks up with girls and leaves them but he’s a lot sweeter than Ethan and actually has a heart. Grayson’s also one of my best friends. “I missed you too, what have you been up to?” I asked and he shrugged, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. “Not much, just hanging out with Aaron & the other guys….picking up some ladies as well.” He trailed off, smirking at the end and I rolled my eyes. I let out a small laugh and smacked his shoulder. “With what? Your dick is so small nobody even knows it’s there.” I joked, slamming my locker shut and laughing as he glared at me. “Yeah okay, whatever. See you at lunch.” Was all he said before cracking a smile & walking away. I nodded and headed off to my first class, which was Spanish. And I fucking hate Spanish.  
After finding a seat in the back of the classroom, I slouched down in my  
seat and just waited for class to begin. I picked at the rips on my jeans as my eyebrows knitted together. I was pissed. On my way here, Ethan had tripped me & made me lose my summer packet of Spanish homework since I had dropped it. I mean Ethan doesn’t scare me as much anymore, since I’m used to it. I let out an agitated sigh and dragged my eyes up, looking around to see that mostly everybody was here….including Ethan. He was sitting in the row of desks next to me, two chairs ahead. The teacher then walked in and slammed the door shut behind her, causing me to jump. She stood in the front of the room and raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow at all of us. “Hola clase….” She started to talk & that’s when I lost her. I never understood Spanish & honestly didn’t care. It was the class where your work didn’t have to be right, you just had to do it. I zoned out. “Miss. Chamberlain.” I heard her snap in her Hispanic accent & my head shot up. “Yes?” I asked, brushing a piece of hair out of my face with my hand. “I said, it’s time to hand in your summer packets...did you do it?” She questioned in a tone that told me she was already assuming I didn’t do it. I began to nod my head but then stopped. Everyone’s eyes were on me and out of the corner of my eye I could see Ethan smirking to himself knowing that he’s the reason I don’t have it. “No.” I answered simply and she glared at me. “Why not.” She said, pursing her lips. I just shrugged, not having an excuse. “Didn’t have the time.” I stated and she nodded slowly, as if thinking to herself. “I’ll talk to you after class.” She stated & turned on her heel, walking over to her desk before starting to talk again about who knows what. I rolled my eyes. Great. The first day back and I already have one teacher coming for me. I felt somebody’s eyes on me & I glanced over to see Ethan staring at me with a dark expression that made me want to shrink. He just mouthed a ‘you’re welcome’ & turned back around in his seat. I scoffed under my breath, it’s his fault I don’t have my packet not mine. Yet, if I told the teacher that and he got confronted then he would probably beat the shit out of me. So that’s not an option.  
I didn’t hear much of the rest of the things the Spanish teacher said  
throught class, I only heard when the bell rung. Everybody around me scooped up their stuff and began to shuffle out, I noticed Ethan was taking his time packing up and I already knew why. He wanted to hear me get in trouble and probably do something to me as we walked out of the classroom. I sighed, standing up and walking over to the teacher’s desk. I cleared my throat slowly, causing the teacher to lift her head up sharply. I could feel Ethan’s eyes on my back, his stare almost digging into it. The teacher suddenly moved her hand, causing me to flinch harshly & she tilted her head at me. “I didn’t do anything….” She trailed off and then shook her head to herself. Great, I was already back to being flinchy. I always got like that when Ethan was around me, and to make matters worse; I heard a low chuckle from the opposite end of the classroom and shivered. “So, Miss. Chamberlain. You need to try harder in my class please. Especially with turning in your homework, you had all summer to do it & it wasn’t that hard. Is everything okay at home?” She asked with a genuine soft expression on her face. Yes, everything is just fine at home but at school there’s a guy that makes my life a living hell. “Yeah.” I simply answered and she nodded slowly as if silently questioning me. “Alright, you may go.” She replied and I thanked her, trying to calm my breathing as I walked out of the classroom with Ethan trailing behind me. And then suddenly I was flipped around and slammed against a locker, Ethan pinning me there by my slim arms.  
I tried to flinch away but I couldn’t and I looked around the hallway,  
looking anywhere but at him. The hallway was empty, everyone already being in class. “That was smart of you, to lie about your homework slut.” He hissed & I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying something stupid. “You’re pathetic.” He spat and I raised an eyebrow to myself. I already know I am. He tightened his grip on my arms and I fought the urge to wince. I already knew there were gonna be bruises from his hold. “Look at me.” He suddenly demanded & I reluctantly moved my gaze to his dark eyes. “What.” Was all I said, trying to sound confident & he made a slightly disgusted look at me. “Never mind. Don’t look at me, you’re too ugly.” He said and I’m not gonna lie, that one hurt a little. I dropped my eyes to the floor. I only heard him scoff and felt drop his arms off me. “Why.” I quietly said. “Why? Why what.” He said and it wasn’t a question. I looked up at him. “Why do you do this to me? Of all people what have I ever done to you?” I asked and he crossed his arms over his broad torso, cocking an eyebrow at me. “For obvious reasons; you’re ugly as I said, you’re fat, your disgusting, you’re annoying….shall I go on?” He questioned harshly and I shook my head lightly, moving my eyes down to the floor again. Fat. I starved myself for awhile last year because he had called me fat before and had said that I should ‘stop eating’ so I did. Maybe I need to do that again even though I thought I was already pretty skinny.  
“That’s what I thought.” I heard him say and I glared at the floor. “You  
only make me insecure because you’re insecure yourself.” I mumbled under my breath and turned to walk to my second period but was hit with a sudden sharp pain on my right temple causing me to fall to the ground. Ethan had apparently gotten mad at my comment. I put my hand up to my temple and brought it back to my view, seeing a few drops of blood on my fingertips from where his knuckle had probably broken the skin. A headache slowly began to form on the right side of my head and I breathed in heavily, trying to shake it off. I looked up to see Ethan with his fists balled tightly, towering over me. “Don’t ever say that again.” He growled out before storming away. Maybe I had hit a weak spot finally? It hurt too much to think about though so for now, I’ll just try to focus on my next class. One that thankfully, Ethan isn’t in.


	2. TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the different layout every chapter. I’m still trying to figure what one I want to do. Enjoy. ;)

**Emma Pov.**

     The next morning my routine was basically the same except for my  makeup. I applied a heavy amount of concealer onto my dark temple that Ethan had caused to bruise. Then I coated the concealing liquid with some smooth foundation. I didn’t eat breakfast that morning either, I just headed out the door in my tan ‘kid cudi’ hoodie and some black leggings. 

     When I got to school—after walking the long walk for exercise—I saw my  friend Hannah walking towards me & smiled. Hannah was always so bubbly over nothing. When she reached me, she smiled widely & stopped right in front of me. “Emma oh my god. There’s a party at Cameron’s tonight and you  _ have  _ to come with me.” Hannah gushed & I shrugged. “I don’t know Hannah...partying isn’t really my thing.” I replied & she frowned. “Please. Please. Please.” She continued to beg while yanking on my arm like a five-year-old. I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I’ll go.” I said, giving in & Hannah basically squealed. “Yes! I’ll pick you up at eight. Be ready.” She explained & winked before walking off to somewhere. I sighed & continued to walk to my own locker, grabbing my Spanish folder. I yelped when my locker door slammed shut onto my fingers & jerked my hand away, cradling it as it throbbed. I looked up to see Ethan snickering at me, him being the person that slammed the locker shut. “Cunt.” He said bluntly & chuckled, before walking away to the Spanish room. I clenched my jaw & waited a few moments before heading to the same room.

     It was pretty rough, the next three periods whenever I had to write. My  fingers wouldn’t stop trembling & were already almost a dark purple from the bruising. Every single teacher asked what happened when they saw me struggling as well & since I couldn’t tell them the truth I just said that I ‘accidentally slammed them in my closet door’. Now it was lunch. I didn’t get anything, so I was just sitting at the usual table while I waited for Ellie & Hannah to finish buying their lunches. There was suddenly a presence next to me & I tensed up, turning slowly only to see that it was just Grayson. I let out a breath of relief & glared at him. “You scared the shit out of me!” I exclaimed quietly and he chuckled. “Sorry,” he started & looked down at my throbbing fingers, “Ethan did that didn’t he?” Grayson asked, his eyebrows knitting together. I rubbed my lips against one another & nodded slowly. He let out a scoff & scratched the back of his head. “I’m so sorry Em, you don’t deserve the way he treats you. I don’t even know why he does it. He’s such a jerk for no reason.” He said with sympathy & I shrugged, looking down. “It’s okay Grayson, it’s not your fault he’s this way.” I responded & looked back up to see Grayson nodding, he then looked around. “Listen, I gotta go but are you going to the party tonight?” He asked & I nodded back. “Yeah, Hannah’s dragging me there.” I exasperated & he laughed lightly. “Alright well I’ll see you there then.” He said & smiled before walking back towards his own table with his friends. I looked in the lunch line & saw Ellie with Hannah, they were flirting with a few jocks from our football team. Since they were occupied & I didn’t have anything better to do, I decided to go roam the halls.

     After walking down a few of the halls, looking for something to do & finding nothing–I was about to give up until I heard a commotion going on in one of the deserted halls. I walked towards the noise & as I got closer, I could tell it was somebody yelling. I turned the corner & saw Ethan pinning up a guy that I’d never seen before against the lockers. He looked pretty scrawny though. Ethan continued to yell in his face and I could pick out a few words like; ‘faggot’ or ‘manwhore’. I bit the inside of my cheek, debating whether I should go help the guy or not. I mean, if I do then I’ll probably get beaten up but it’s better than the innocent guy getting threatened right? But if I don’t help him then—oh screw it. I shook my head and trudged towards the two, trying to not be a coward. “You’re such a faggot, don’t ever show your fac—“ Ethan was saying but I cut him off by yanking him off the scrawny guy & standing in between the two. I was shocked that I was able to get Ethan off of the guy but cleared my head and turned to the shaking guy. “Go.” I whispered & watched as he ran down the hall, away from us. I looked back at Ethan & saw him fuming as he watched his victim get away. Ethan then turned his glare to me, balling his fists up tightly & I immediately regretted my decision of helping the guy. I swallowed nothing & tried to run in the same direction but was pulled back by my wrist tightly & thrown onto the floor. “Mind your own fucking business.” Ethan said, gritting his teeth. He sent a hard kick to my stomach before storming away down the hall again. I coughed sharply & held my stomach as I sat up. Jesus, could that guy kick. I leaned my back against the cold wall & shut my eyes. Now I just couldn’t wait for the party tonight so that I can let loose & forget about all my problems. So that I can forget about Ethan.

     It was 7:58 at night, Hannah would be here soon to pick me up for the  party. I waited on my porch anxiously, smoothing out my black blouse & fixing my wavy hair constantly. I reached my hand up & touched the corner of my lips, making sure my lipstick wasn’t messed up. I had managed to wrap my other hand with medical wrap, so it didn’t hurt as much anymore but it still throbbed once in awhile. I looked to my driveway, seeing Hannah pulling in & smiling extremely widely at seeing me dressed up. I shrugged & looked down, embarrassed as I walked over to her car & sat in the front seat beside her. “You look so good girl!” She practically screamed & I couldn’t help but to let out a laugh as she put the gear in reverse & backed down my driveway. She turned the radio up as we drove & we had a blast listening to music on the way to Cameron’s giant house. After dancing around to about six or seven songs we had finally arrived at the gates of Cameron's house. I mean I already imagined his house being quite big, but not like a mansion. Hannah made me be the one to get out of the car and walked up to the small black screen next to the gates. I assumed this is where you buzz Cameron to let you in, but there was already a small note of paper taped to the screen. It said that 'the gates are open’. So I guess I just have to push open the gates….? I shrugged to myself & walked over to the tall black steel gates & gave them a push, making them swing wide open. Hannah pulled up in between the metal structures & I hopped back in the passenger seat, slamming the door shut as the car began to park in the grass next to the many other cars. There had to be at least fifty or more cars here. Hannah & I stepped out of her car & headed up the giant steps on the front porch that led to the doors. The doors were wide open already & as we walked in, I was engulfed by the smell of alcohol & other...things. I turned to tell Hannah my opinion but she was already lost in the sea of people, leaving me on my own. 

     “Sup slut.” Ethan spat as he walked by me, bumping into my shoulder harshly. I rubbed my shoulder & looked down at the floor. Way to ruin my night. Ethan’s here. I looked around & spotted Grayson leaning against the wall, a red solo cup in his large hand. I made my way over to him and tapped his shoulder, causing him to turn & look at me. His eyes were cloudy & I could tell he was drunk. “Oh...hey Emmaaaa.” Grayson slurred, winking at me. I cringed & laughed. “Hey Grayson.” I replied & took his full cup away from him. He frowned. “Hey give it back!” He shouted & tried grabbing it back, but I moved away from him. “You’ve had enough, besides….maybe I want some?” I stated & Grayson stuck his tongue out at me like a little kid. I smiled & walked away, taking a drink of whatever was in Grayson’s cup. I almost spit it out when it hit my tongue. It was pure alcohol, nothing else. It burned down my throat slowly, leaving an almost stinging sensation. I didn’t want anymore because of the taste but I wanted to let loose so I just plugged my nose & downed the rest of it all in one swig. 

     After waiting a few minutes for the alcohol to kick in, Ellie had found me  & dragged me over to the dance floor. I stumbled as she pulled me along & I giggled once we found an empty spot to dance in. We both danced together for a little bit but then Ellie drifted towards some other friends, leaving me in my drunken state of mind. I hiccuped & continued to dance on my own, not minding. Then suddenly there were large hands on my waist & I felt somebody behind me, I didn’t mind though. I was too drunk to care. I pushed my body back against the presence, leaning into them as I continued to dance. They began grinding on me & I pushed my ass hard into them, giving them the friction they wanted. I heard a low moan from behind me & smirked, stopping for a second. “Don't stop babygirl.” He slurred into my ear & bit my earlobe gently. I could tell whoever he was, was drunk as well. I turned around & stared at him for a few seconds, trying to see through my cloudy haze of lust who he was but I couldn't. I mentally shrugged & he smashed his lips against mine, our lips moving together in perfect harmony. I pushed my hips against his crotch roughly as we made out, causing his hips to twitch involuntarily. I tangled my fingers into his soft hair to deepen the kiss. He pulled away for a moment, only to lean in close so his lips were brushing against my ear. “How about we take this to a room baby?” His deep voice chimed into my ear. I felt his head tilt down as he began sucking on the skin of my neck, biting down softly. I moaned quietly & nodded. “Yes,  _ Daddy _ .” I replied. Wait. Oh my god. Did I seriously just say  _ Daddy _ ? How drunk am I?! He surprisingly moaned at the nickname & I felt him smirk against the base of my neck as he gripped my ass, making me moan softly in return. He leaned back up & grabbed my hand in his large hand, pulling me down one of the many hallways in this house. Once he found an empty room, he shoved the door open & dragged me in quickly. He shut the door behind us, locking it as well & pushed me down gently onto the bed that was in the center of the room. My back hit the soft comforter as he crawled over me, ducking down to give me a long kiss. Our tongues danced together as he deepened the kiss by grinding his hips into mine. He leaned back for a moment, smirking down at me & I got a good look at his swollen lips, messed up hair & cloudy gaze. 

     He looked so familiar but I just couldn’t put my finger on who he was. I  couldn’t find myself to care either. I was about to lose my virginity to some guy that can kiss like a  _ god _ .

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t kill me. :)


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey babes. :*

Emma Pov.

I felt cold. Oddly cold. Which is weird because I always sleep with at least three blankets. Maybe they fell off the bed? My eyes opened slowly, blinking as they adjusted to the bright sunlight streaming in through the curtains. I had a major headache. I looked to the window, seeing the cream-colored curtains hanging there as the sun rays invaded them. Wait. I don't have curtains. My eyes widened & I sat up quickly, now fully awake. I gasped as a sharp pain hit my inner thighs from the sudden movement. Why did my thighs hurt so bad? I looked around the hotel-like room. Where am I? I leaned forward, testing out how bad the inner-pain was & the thin white sheet fell from my body. I realized I was naked as well. I pulled the sheet back up, looking around on the floor for my clothes. I finally spotted them as they were scattered all around on the shaggy brown carpet. I rubbed my temples as I stood up, trying to get rid of the major headache. My legs shook slightly & I winced in pain. Jesus. What happened?! 

After getting dressed painfully, I looked around for my phone. I found it on one of the birch nightstands, there was a notepad next to my device as well. There was messy handwriting on the top of the notepad & it said: If you tell anybody about this, you're dead. - Ethan. My eyes widened & I covered my mouth with my hand. No. I. Didn't. I slept with Ethan?! Memories from last night suddenly came flooding in & I cringed at every single one. I can't believe I lost my virginity to….him. Losing your virginity is supposed to be to somebody special….not to somebody that makes you feel shitty & doesn't even care about you. Tears threatened to spill over in my eyes. I feel so used. He probably doesn't give a shit either. I looked blurrily down at my phone to see the time, I had a half an hour to make it to school at least. I didn't feel like going but I had to so that I wouldn't be behind. It's not like my father would care if I didn't go either, he doesn't care at all. I padded over to the door & quietly opened it, revealing a long hallway with many other doors. I honestly wondered which one was Cameron's. After making my way through the maze of a house, I had finally been able to catch a taxi home since Hannah had driven me here. 

Once home, I got ready as quickly as possible after having a mini-freakout about how many hickey's were scattered around my neck. I covered them up with makeup to the best of my ability & walked out the door. Getting into my car, I relaxed my back against the leather seat & slowly put the key into the ignition. I turned the gauge that controlled the heat onto high & held out my hands in front of the vents for a moment. 

The drive to school seemed to go by too quickly as I parked in my usual spot & stepped out onto the black, cracked concrete. I walked into the main entrance slowly as I still thought about last night. My inner thighs ached as I dragged my feet to my first class. The Spanish teacher greeted me as I trudged in & I shot her a small, fake smile. I went to my seat in the back & slowly lowered myself onto it, trying to not cause a lot of pain. It took a few minutes, but everybody finally filed into the classroom & plopped into their seats as well. I stared at the oak patterned desk for half of the class, trying to sink further into my hoodie that I had randomly thrown on this morning. I still couldn't wrap my mind around all the facts about what I did last night. I wrapped my finger around a stray thread on my sleeve as I thought. I felt a pair of eyes on me & I didn't want to look up, already knowing who was looking at me but my eyes betrayed me. I reluctantly looked up & saw Ethan staring at me darkly. I scoffed & looked back down. I knew he wouldn't care about what happened & there was nothing I could do about it. In fact, today, when he goes to beat me up or insult me….I'm just gonna let him do it & not fight back. I don't care today. 

Too many thoughts cluttered my mind that I didn't realize the bell had rung until I glanced around, seeing almost everybody gone. I sighed & pushed myself off my desk carefully so that I was now standing up. I grabbed my items that I had brought & headed out into the hallway, not even surprised when a large hand was suddenly gripping my wrist so tight that it cut off circulation. Ethan dragged me sharply & slammed me against the cemented wall, leaning in close enough so that nobody would be able to hear him but me. He was still gripping my wrist. “I assume you got my note, cunt. I can't believe I slept with your filthy ass. Like I said, if you tell anybody about that….then I will make sure you can't ever speak again.” Ethan spat into my ear & I didn't move, just stared blankly at the wall across from us. He tightened his hold on my wrist & I couldn't even feel it anymore. “I said, got it?” He threatened & I nodded quickly, wanting him to release my arm. He finally let it go & I rubbed the numbed skin, still not having feeling in that spot. He simply waltzed away, back down the hallway & I sighed. 

As I walked to lunch with my hands in the pocket of my hoodie, I wondered where my dad was. I was in such a rush this morning that I didn't even notice he wasn't home. He was most likely at work. Like always. I barely ever even get to see him anymore. As for my mom….she left my dad & I a few years ago. I still keep in touch with her every once in awhile, but we were really distant. Ever since my mom left, my dad didn't acknowledge me much & he started drinking alot when she first left. He just couldn't take the heartbreak I guess. He didn't drink anymore as far as I know. But I guess I wouldn't really know. 

Somebody bumped into me when I had almost reached the lunchroom & I flinched. “Sorry–” I started, thinking it was Ethan & not wanting to get hurt anymore today. But when I looked at who had shoulder checked me, I realized that it was the guy Ethan was pinning against the lockers the other day. “Sorry, I didn't see you there.” The guy said in a surprisingly feminine voice, while scratching the back of his head. Oh. Oh. Now I know why Ethan was pushing him around. He's clearly gay. “It's fine.” I replied, smiling widely. I couldn't contain my giggle that came out & I covered my mouth with my hand. I was just really excited that this guy was gay, because gay people are always so nice & funny. “What?” He asked, questioning my abrupt laughter. He looked down at himself, playing with the hem of his pink shirt that was almost cropped too short. “It's my outfit isn't it.” He stated, almost sadly. “What? No, no. I'm just happy that I bumped into you. You seem really nice.” I explained & he made an “oh” expression. “Thanks,” he laughed lightly, “my name is James. James Charles. How about you?” He asked. I smiled. “Emma Chamberlain.” I answered & he smiled now. “I absolutely love your name.” He gushed & I thanked him, chuckling. “Hey, thanks for helping me yesterday by the way. That dude is a real jerk. He has a stick or something shoved up his ass for a real one.” He said & I laughed. “I know & you're welcome. Wanna sit with my friends and I at lunch?” I replied & he squealed. Actually squealed. I laughed lightly as he nodded & we made our way to the lunch room, passing the table that Ethan sat at. He was surrounded by a few other douchebags as he sat there with Meredith on his lap. Ethan was trying to get her attention by telling her something but she was too busy flirting with his friends to notice. Honestly, sometimes I think that Ethan actually cares about their relationship & her but that she doesn't give a shit about him or their relationship. 

I dragged my gaze back to my table, realizing I had already sat down while I was deep in thought. I looked up at Ellie & Hannah who were talking & laughing with James. I smiled to myself. I was happy they were getting along. 

When I got home, I decided to shower since I didn't get a chance to this morning. As the hot water rolled down my skin, I felt as if it was washing away Ethan's touch from last night's regretful activities. Sadly the water wouldn't wash away the memories….or the hickies. 

I stood under the shower head for awhile just relaxing & thinking. I stood there until my legs started to shake slightly from the strain of standing so long & the soreness of last night started coming back. I sighed & turned off the faucet, shutting down the shower head along with it. I stepped out of the steamy encasement & wrapped a baby blue towel around my sore body. 

After I dried off, I put on a baggy t-shirt & sweatpants. Also throwing my damp hair up into a messy bun. I sat on my bed for a little bit, debating about taking a short nap since I was really tired. During my debate I slowly began to fall asleep. 

I was on the verge of dreamland when I heard a slamming sound from downstairs, causing me to jolt awake & stand up. I slowly made my way out into the hallway & took a few steps down the stairs. “Dad? Is that you?” I asked loudly & got no answer. I shivered but continued walking down the stairs until I had reached the bottom step. I heard a few sounds coming from the kitchen & headed in that direction. “Dad…?” I trailed off as I entered the open area of a kitchen, my feet hitting the cold & tiled floor. I flicked the lights on, bracing myself for anything. But when the lights finally flickered on, I just saw my dad with his back facing me as he leaned against the counter. “Oh, dad. You scared me.” I said, laughing nervously. He just shrugged his shoulders & turned around. My heart dropped when I saw that he had a beer bottle in his hand & he looked at me with hazy eyes. “D-dad? Since when do you...drink again?” I asked quietly. He just chuckled lowly, throwing his head back & downing the rest of the bitter drink. Once he was sure that every drop was gone, he just slammed the empty bottle onto the counter & stared at the ground. I flinched & turned around, about to walk back upstairs when I felt him grab me by the back of my shirt. He pushed me into the counter & I winced. Whenever he was drunk before, he would never touch me or hurt me in any way. “You're just like your mom….always judging me for the shit I do.” He slurred & I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at him. “I don't care what either of you think.” He spat & just as I opened my eyes, I felt a hard fist connect with my cheek bone & my head lolled to the side with an extreme stinging sensation. I bit my lip to keep from making sound, thinking my noises would only make it worse. That hurt more than any other hits ever had. A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye as I stared at the ground, my hands gripping the marbled counter tightly behind me. 

I faintly saw my father stumble away towards the living room & I ran up the stairs, locking myself in my room. My back ached from hitting the counter so harshly & I laid down onto my bed, burying my face in the pillows to cry quietly. During my meltdown, I felt sleep slowly coming for me & I gave in, shutting my eyes. 

When I woke up, it wasn't slowly. My eyes snapped open but I stayed still, listening to hear if my...father…was still home & hoping he wasn't. It had been a few minutes of listening quietly when I concluded that he wasn't home. I tossed the comforting blankets off of me & padded softly over to my bathroom. I flicked on the light-switch & looked in the mirror. My eyes widened when I saw how prominent the bruise on my cheekbone was. I brought my hand up & lightly touched it, causing it to sting sharply & I winced. I pulled open one of the drawers under the sink & took out my makeup bag, yanking the concealer & foundation out of it. I unscrewed the cap of the concealer & my stomach dropped. It was empty. I shook my head, throwing it aside onto the counter & unscrewing the cap of the foundation. Tears brimmed at the corners of my eyes. The foundation was also empty. Was I seriously that distracted yesterday that I didn't realize I had used up the last of the two containers? I tossed the empty foundation jar into the trashcan & rubbed my temples stressfully. How was I gonna hide the bruise?! I took a deep breath & shook my shoulders out, walking back into my bedroom & into the closet. I swung the doors open smoothly & grabbed my slightly baggy maroon hoodie, along with a plain black t-shirt. I slid off the baggy shirt I was wearing & slipped on the black shirt instead, also pulling the hoodie over it. I tugged the hood up, going back into the bathroom & looking into the mirror again. That's better...I guess. If I kept my head low then nobody could even see the bruise with my hood up. I forced a smile at the mirror, practicing it for school. 

I did my makeup that I did have, that being; mascara & eyeliner. Then I just pulled on some black leggings & grabbed my items to head out the door. I was planning on walking to school, but my slightly sore thighs said otherwise & I sighed as I got into my Subaru. 

I arrived at the busy high school & sat in my car for a few minutes since I had some time to kill, considering I left my house early. I rolled my eyes & took the keys out of the ignition, tucking them into my pocket & walking into school. I tugged my head further up over my face, wanting to disappear. Nobody looked at me weird as I walked the halls with my head down low & I took that as a good sign that my hood was working. I reached my locker & grabbed my bright yellow Spanish folder, trudging into the deathly classroom. I sunk down into my seat in the back of the room & tapped my fingertips against the wood of the desk, waiting as other students piled in. The teacher got up from her desk & stood at the front of the room, beginning to speak in Spanish after greeting us. I kept my head down as I listened. According to what I picked out from the foreign language she was speaking; today she was just going to talk to us about what's coming for this year. I breathed out a huff of relief, not feeling like doing any work today. 

About halfway through her speech, she stopped talking & when I looked up I saw that she was staring directly at me. She cocked a perfectly drawn on eyebrow at me & gave me a stern look. “Miss. Chamberlain, hood off.” She demanded & my stomach dropped. I shook my head lightly. “I-no.” I said & she lowered her eyes at me. “Excuse me? Take your hood off or I'll take it off for you.” She stated, taking a step towards me & I gripped the seat of my chair tightly. I glanced around & saw that everybody was taking advantage of our conversation by going on their phones & not paying attention. Everybody except for Ethan. Ethan was just blankly shifting his stare from the teacher to me & back again. I dragged my gaze back to the teacher who was now walking towards me. I clenched my jaw & just as she was about to reach me, I tugged the hood off myself. The teacher stopped in her tracks & stared at me for a few seconds, before shaking her head & walking back to the front of the room to continue her lecture. I sunk down even lower into my chair & just looked down for the rest of Spanish, not wanting to meet anybody's eyes. 

The bell finally rung & as soon as I got out of the classroom, I pulled my hood back up. I trudged to my second period which was Social Studies. I didn't mind history as much. I just didn't see the point in learning it. I entered the historically decorated room & plopped down onto a seat in the back. 

Once mostly everybody was in, the teacher announced that today we will just be watching a film on the ‘Revolutionary War’. The teacher also looked directly at me & seemed to not care that I had my hood up. I suddenly took a liking to this teacher more than I ever had. The teacher walked over to the doorway, shutting the door & flicking the lights completely off. Then he went back to his computer-cart & projected the computer screen onto the giant screen in the front of the room. A clicking sound echoed through the quiet room when he hit enter on his keyboard. The screen flickered a few times before the film finally began to play in black & white. I watched uninterested as the teacher took this time to go on his phone. I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms & closing my eyes. I sighed. Maybe I could get some sleep in, since I didn't sleep much last night. In fact, now that I think about last night, I wonder if it will happen again tonight. I shivered at the thought. The way my father's hand hit my face so carelessly, felt like he had already planned that he was gonna do it. It felt heartbreaking, knowing that my own father would do that.

I suddenly felt a presence next to me & I jumped, snapping my eyes open. My chair screeched against the floor at my sudden movements. Everybody in the room shushed me & I rolled my eyes, looking to my side only to see what I least expected & what I feared most. Ethan had pulled up a chair & sat down right next to me. I forgot he was even in this class. When I met his eyes, he was already starting at me with a dark expression. I swallowed the lump in my throat & looked down, trying to relax my posture but failing. 

I sat there tensely for a few seconds & then his hand suddenly moved, causing me to flinch. He chuckled quietly & I realized that he was just adjusting his hair with his hand. He dropped his hand back to his side & his chuckling expression turned dark again. “Who hit you.” He said lowly, not as a question. I shrugged. “I don't know what you're talking about.” I whispered back, playing dumb. Why does he even wanna know? He clenched his jaw. “Don't play dumb Emma.” He gritted quietly & I gave him an unamused look. “I'm not. And even if I was, I don't know why you would care.” I stated & he glared at me. “Was it a guy?” He whispered stiffly. I didn't respond & he grabbed my arm tightly under the desk. I winced softly as he leaned in close. “Was. It. A. Guy.” He repeated & I nodded, just wanting him to let go of me. When he saw me nod, his stern expression dropped & he looked down at his hand gripping my arm. As if realization hit him, he slowly let go of me & I pulled my aching arm into my lap. I looked down at it, it had a faint bruise like always since Ethan always seemed to grab me there. “Why do you care anyway?” I mumbled, looking down. He clenched his jaw as he spoke extremely quietly, “I don't know.” I just stared at the floor. “Who.” He whispered suddenly. I looked at him questioningly. “Who was it.” He repeated & my eyebrows furrowed. I didn't answer him. “It was family wasn't it? Your dad maybe?” He asked quietly & I tensed up. How the fuck did he know?! I continued to stare at the wooden desk, pretending to find interest in it. “How do you know that.” I whispered sternly & he gripped the bottom of his seat tightly. “Experience.” He mumbled angrily. My eyes widened slightly. 

The loud ringing of the bell made me jump from the silence & the teacher stopped the film, excusing everybody. All of the students including Ethan filed out of the room, leaving me sitting there for a few seconds thinking about what just happened. 

Ethan's father used to….beat him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *smiles evilly*


	4. FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for you Sabine. enjoy. ;)

**Emma Pov.**

     When I got home from school that same day, I had been slightly scared  to see that my father was home as well. But what I didn't expect was when my father started crying & apologizing over & over to me, promising that he'd never drink or touch me like that again. I forgave him, but told him it would still take me a little bit to fully trust him again. James had invited me to go with him to the football game tonight & I agreed, not being able to say no to his bubbly-self. Grayson had also texted me, asking if I was going because he was wondering if he could sit with me in the risers. I found it weird, since Grayson was one of the star players on the team, along with Ethan. When I asked why though, he said that he broke his arm falling out of a tree & the coach told him not to play tonight. So now I was standing in front of the mirror in my bathroom, getting ready to go to the wild football game. 

     I had picked up some more makeup from the drugstore on the way home from school, so I was able to cover up the bruise on my temples for starters. I kept the same makeup look from earlier in the day & just decided to change into a cropped black hoodie with a pair of blue ripped jeans. I curled my hair into beach waves, grabbing a water bottle & my phone before heading out the door to wait on my porch for James. 

     As I waited, my stomach started to ache & I remembered that I hadn't eaten in a few days since Ethan called me fat. I pinched my stomach, almost silently telling it to shut up. 

     James pulled up into the driveway & I smiled at him through the windshield, walking around to the passenger side. I got inside & shut the door, sinking against the leather seat. “Hey kitty-girl!” James said excitedly & I laughed. “Hi.” I replied simply as James shifted the gear into 'drive’ & we drove towards the high school. I set my water bottle in one of the many cup holders. 

     After insisting that we listen to Taylor Swift songs the  _ whole _ way there,  we finally arrived in the parking lot & found a spot to park. As we walked towards the stadium I decided to let James know that Grayson would be sitting with us, not that I thought he would mind. And he didn't, he just responded with a simple; “Okay.” 

     We finally found a spot to sit on the risers, near the front & bottom so that we would have a clear view of the field. We sat down onto the cold risers & I finally got a chance to take in James’ outfit. He wore a normal 'Calvin Klein' tracksuit, except for the fact that the jacket was cropped & the pants were practically booty-shorts. I chuckled at his attire & he just crossed his legs while winking at me. I barely just met him like yesterday & I already loved him. My phone vibrated in my back pocket & I sat up slightly, snatching it from behind me & clicking it on. The screen lit up & showed a message from Grayson. He was asking where I was sitting. I texted him back & told him in the very front row, towards the left. 

     Not long after, I saw Grayson walking towards us & his eyes lingered on James for a second before looking at me & smiling. As he sat down next to me, I noticed the thick black cast he had on his right arm. “Hey E.” He greeted me & I smiled at him. “Hey Gray.” I replied & was about to introduce him to James, who was sitting on the other side of me when James began talking instead. “Oh my God,” he started & Grayson rose an eyebrow at his voice, “ _Emma_ , when you told me your friend would be sitting with us...you didn't tell me that he was completely daddy material.” James gushed & I watched in surprise as a faint blush spread on Grayson's prominent cheekbones. Since when did Grayson Dolan _blush_? Apparently he didn’t appeal to the nickname; ‘daddy’. James giggled  & held out his perfectly manicured hand towards Grayson. “I'm James.” He stated & Grayson stared at his hand for a second before shaking it with his much larger hand. “Grayson.” Was all he said before they both dropped their digits back to their sides. 

     The speakers all around the stadium suddenly erupted with an old guy's voice, letting us know that the game was about to begin. I watched as all of the cheerleaders, including Meredith, walked out onto the side of the field & started cheering as all of the football players charged out from the small tunnel. Everyone around us in the audience roared with cheers & stood up, screaming. I scoffed quietly. I looked to my side & saw Grayson looking down at his cast sadly. I knew he wanted to play so badly. James must have seen the sad look on Grayson's face as well, because he suddenly stuck his hand into his pocket & pulled out a sparkly silver ‘Sharpie’. James popped the cap off & gently reached for Grayson's encased arm, pulling it towards him & basically resting it on my lap as he wrote on it. Uh...okay. Grayson was staring at James with weirded out expression, also wondering what he was doing. James then pulled away & pushed Grayson's arm back towards him, causing Grayson to tilt his casted arm around to read the sparkly writing. James wrote; _You'll always be_ _my_ _favorite player, even if you can't play tonight. You're still a daddy btw. ~ James xoxo_. I cringed as I read it over Grayson's broad shoulder  & once Grayson read it too, he chuckled nervously. James just sent him a wink & Grayson tried to look anywhere but at him. I turned my eyes to the field, seeing that all of the players from our team were now in position & about to start. “Set Hut!” Said one of the players with a muffled, raspy voice & all of the players scattered around the field chasing after whoever had the leather ball. Ethan was number ‘69’. Of course. I wonder how many jokes he made about that at football practice. Cameron Dallas scored our team's first touchdown & the cheerleaders went wild, moving all around as the game went on.

     The buzzer went off & the game was finally over & sadly, we lost. Only about four of our eleven players seemed to give a shit & a dually try to play good so that might be why. Ethan being one of the few that tried, he got most of our touchdowns in fact but it wasn't enough to win. I felt James repeatedly tapping my shoulder & I turned my body towards him. “Yes?” I hummed & he smiled at me with big brown eyes. “I'm hungry, can we go get some food at the food stands? Please.” James begged & I chuckled at how needy he looked. I wasn't hungry & I wanted to keep it that way, the more days I went without eating….the more skinny I would become. “Sure.” I answered nonchalantly & we stood up, about to walk to the food carts but James stopped in front of Grayson. Grayson looked up at him & James grabbed his good arm, pulling him up & telling him that were gonna go get food & that he should come with. I smiled to myself. Sometimes James was just too much. 

 

     We continued to walk towards the smell of food & James got in line for  hot dogs & a twisted pretzel, along with Grayson right behind him. The food here actually smelled really good & my stomach started to hurt. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if I just ate one thing–my thoughts were interrupted when I caught Ethan's eyes as he walked off the field. His eyes looked dull & he cocked an eyebrow at the food stands. Nevermind, I didn't feel like eating anymore. Maybe not ever with the dull expression he gave me as he got closer. Ethan was headed straight towards me & I was filled with slight fear but then he diverted his path & headed towards Grayson. I sighed in relief but then realized  _ James _ was next to Grayson. I watched as Ethan was about to say something bitchy about James, but Grayson spat out a; “Don't. Even.” I chuckled to myself & looked around the stadium, seeing if I could find anybody I knew while I waited. 

 

     As I looked around, my view started spinning slightly & I shook my head  but it kept turning. A cold tingling feeling washed over my skin & I felt lightheaded. I clutched my stomach which seemed to be the cause of this as it ached. I turned to look at James who wasn't far away, taking a picture of his perfectly placed food as he waited for Grayson to receive his order. I tried to yell James’ name but considering he didn't look up & my voice sounded muffled to me, I didn't think he heard me. My vision started spotting & I slid down the pillar next to the risers, holding my stomach. I felt nauseous & the last thing I felt was my face against the cold concrete.

**James Pov.**

     My eyebrows knitted together in frustration as another picture of my  exquisite hotdog & pretzel turned out blurry. I swiped out of my camera roll on my phone & clicked back to my camera, pressing the button to take a photo one last time. As I looked at it I grinned, it was perfect. Call me basic but this is an Instagram-worthy photo. I shut off my phone & slid it back into the pocket of my adorable cropped jacket. 

     Grayson came over with his food in hand, Ethan trailing behind him as he gave me a rude look. I watched as Grayson held his food with his good hand & was trying to do something with his phone using his bad hand. He was clearly sister-struggling. And yes. I called everybody my 'sisters’. I'm not a nun, I just like the term. “Do you want some help?” I asked, giggling. Grayson chuckled as well & nodded. I took his phone out of his encase hand & held it in my manicured one. “Where do you want it?” I questioned, noticing that his plain navy hoodie didn't have a pocket. “Uh, in my back pocket….” Grayson trailed off & flushed a light shade of red. Awe. How cute. I lived for seeing him all flustered. I laughed nervously as I carefully & quickly slipped his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. “Thanks.” He muttered & shot me a nervous smile. “No problem sister.” I responded simply & plucked a piece of my pretzel off, eating it carefully as to not ruin my lipgloss. Ethan was eating the slice of pineapple pizza he had gotten while almost glaring at me & I winked at him to set him off. I mean, he was almost the same amount of hotness as Grayson but his attitude ruins it. Ethan just rolled his eyes & looked away as I smiled to myself. 

     Grayson was about to take a bite of his relish-showered hotdog when he paused. I raised an eyebrow at him in a questioning manner & he set his hotdog back into the small white tray in his hand. “Where's Emma….?” Grayson asked & I froze as well. Ethan seemed unbothered by the situation, continuing to eat his pizza. “I don't know….I thought she was here waiting for us–oh my God!” I exclaimed as I looked around the stadium & spotted Emma passed out on the ground with a bloody nose. Grayson followed my gaze & panicked, running over to Emma. I followed closely behind him, watching as he swiftly tossed his food into a nearby trashcan before kneeling down next to her. I stood next to her, trying not to cry & ruin my makeup as Grayson lightly shook her & she wouldn't wake up. I glanced behind me & saw Ethan watching us with uncaring gaze, but he wasn't eating his pizza anymore. He was just blankly staring at us. “Emma, come on.” I heard Grayson say & I looked back down at the two. Emma still didn't wake up, she just shifted slightly in her 'sleep’ groaning while clutching her stomach. Maybe she had a stomach ache? I tapped my foot, thinking. Then realization hit me….the past few days at lunch when I sat with her or glanced at her she never ate. Did she eat at home? Probably not seeing that this happened. She probably passed out from malnutrition–if that's what it's called. I placed my hand on Grayson's muscular shoulder & explained to him what most likely happened, leaving him with his lips slightly parted in shock. I was confused for a real one. Why wouldn't Emma eat? “We can't take her home like this and we won't know if she eats or not if we leave her at home, so she can stay at our house since my mom loves her.” Grayson explained, taking me out of my fabulous thoughts. I looked down & saw Grayson staring at Emma with a worried expression. “She'll be alright, I promise. She's sister-strong.” I assured. My hand was still on his wide shoulder & I rubbed it in a soothing way. Grayson tensed up at the motion so I dropped my arm back to my side. Too soon?

     My bedazzled phone buzzed in my pocket & I took it out, looking to see that my brother texted me saying my mom wanted me home soon. I sighed & shut the glittery device off before putting it back into my pocket. “Hey, I gotta go but I'll see you Monday? Take good care of my favorite sister.” I said, remembering it was Friday & that I wouldn't see my friends until after the weekend. Grayson nodded, giving me a curt; 'See yah.’ I smiled at him & winked before skipping away towards my car.

**Grayson Pov.**

     After James sashayed away towards his car, I glanced down at Emma & scooped her up into my arms bridal style. I was about to stand up with her in my arms but a sharp pain shot up my right arm, where my cast was. I winced & set Emma back down as gently as I could, gripping my wrapped arm. There was no way I would be able to carry her all the way to the car. I sighed & rubbed my temples, thinking. Ethan appeared next to me & stared down at Emma, rolling his eyes for who knows what reason. “Eth,” I started while sighing, “you're gonna have to carry her to the car. I can’t because of my arm, I already tried.” I stated & he smirked. “I know, I saw you basically drop her. And no, I am _ not  _ carrying her. She’s not  _ my  _ problem.” He chuckles & I glared at him, smacking his shoulder. “Seriously, E. You’re carrying her.” I said & paused for a second, thinking. He was about to reply but I cut him off with a threat, “Carry her or I tell mom that you hook up with girls almost every night just to leave them.” I said, cocking an eyebrow & crossing my arms the best I could at him. He frowned & threw his arms out dramatically. “Come  _ on _ Grayson. That’s not even fair. Why are we even having to take her to our house?!” He complained & I didn’t move a muscle. He huffed in frustration & leaned down, scooping Emma up easily in his arms as if she weighed nothing.  _ In fact _ , she probably didn’t weigh anything considering she was pretty skinny. Taking that into account, it still doesn’t make sense to me why she would starve herself. “Let’s go.” He said angrily & I nodded, following him to my car.

     Ethan laid Emma down in the backseat, slamming the back doors shut & hopped into the passenger seat up front. I got in next to him, shutting the door gently behind me & clicking my seatbelt. I glanced over to see Ethan without a seatbelt & rolled my eyes. He _used_ to always wear a seatbelt until he turned into a jerk. I put the key into the ignition & listened as the engine reved up, backing out of the parking lot & starting my memorized way home. 

     I kept seeing Ethan glance in the mirror that was up high in between us. “What do you keep looking at?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the empty road in front of me. We were on a road that had nothing around it for a good half of a mile. “The weirdo in the backseat. What even happened to that thing anyway.” He said, seeming to not care if I answered or not. My knuckles tightened against the steering wheel at his words. He was always so rude. “ _She_ passed out from starving herself the past few days. I guess the malnutrition just finally caught up to her….” I explained, trailing off as I thought about the situation. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Ethan paused for a moment before scoffing & looking out his window. “She needed to lose a few pounds anyway.” He muttered under his breath & I slammed on the brakes, making him fly forwards & hit his head on the dash from not wearing a seatbelt. “What the hell was that for?” He exclaimed, rubbing his forehead. I stared forward, keeping a tense facial expression. “Get out. You’re walking home.” I stated & he looked at me in disbelief. “What the–no. I’m not walking home Grayson.” He said & unlocked his car door, shoving him towards it. “Get. Out. _Ethan_. You don’t get to talk about her like that when you don’t even know what’s going on in her life.” I explained firmly  & he glared at me. Emma was one of my bestfriends & I was not about to tolerate his attitude towards her. “Fine.” He said, opening the car door. “Dick.” He muttered angrily, before slamming the door & I rolled my eyes. I stepped on the gas pedal harshly & sped away, leaving him in the dust.

**Emma Pov.**

     I shot up & gasped, grabbing my stomach & trying to catch my breath. I–I  passed out. I looked around the room I was in frantically & recognized it as Grayson’s. I let out a breath of relief & continued to look around, finding that Grayson was sleeping on the floor since I was in his blue-plaid bed. He was sleeping on his bare stomach, tangled in a grey blanket as the air mattress he was on moved with his breathing. I swung my legs quietly over the side of his bed & looked to the table near the side of his bed, seeing my phone & a bowl of noodles with a note. I placed my hand on the side of the bowl & felt how the ceramic dish was still warm. I picked up the nite & read it the best I could in the dark. The note read;  _ Hey Em, you passed out at the game tonight so I took you to my house so that you wouldn’t have to face your dad….also you better eat the noodles I set out for you or else. I tried staying up & waiting for you to wake up but I was too tired, so we’ll talk in the morning. Sweet noodles. Sweet dreams. Sweet you-better-eat-the-noodles-or-else. Goodnight. - Grayson.  _ I chuckled softly to myself & set the note back down onto the oak-wood table, picking up my phone instead & checking the time. It was a little before midnight. I sighed, not wanting to eat the noodles Grayson made for me….what if Ethan walks in & sees me eating them? I worried myself & carded my fingers through my hair, standing up silently & sneaking out the door to get to the bathroom. 

     After doing my business, I wiped my damp hands onto my jeans as I walked down the hallway back towards Grayson’s room since they were still wet from the hot water I used in the sink. I felt so weak & empty. When I passed Ethan’s bedroom door—which I tried to do quickly—I heard a familiar angry voice & slowed my steps. I leaned closer towards his door & heard a deep voice yelling that didn’t belong to Ethan, in fact it sounded like Ethan’s voice but deeper. Where do I remember that voice from….oh yeah. Ethan & Grayson’s dad. Sean. Of course, now I remember. It’s been awhile since I was over here to hangout with Grayson. It’s been all summer actually. I listened closely through the door, being the curious person I am. I heard Sean yell at Ethan about the….football game? He was telling Ethan that it was all his fault that their team lost. Sean kept repeating how much of a disappointment Ethan was & he just kept going on & on. I heard a loud smack & I jumped. Did Sean just hit Ethan? I frowned. I stopped listening when I heard footsteps coming towards the door. I panicked & sprinted back to the bathroom, hiding in there & holding my breath as I heard the same footsteps pass by. I let out a sigh, hearing Sean go back downstairs & I decided it was safe to come out now. I padded out of the cream-colored bathroom, walking back down the hallway & as I looked down at the black carpet I bumped into somebody. I looked up, slightly scared. I bumped into Ethan. He had a faint, new darkening bruise on his jaw. He stared down at me with tried & angry eyes, but his dark eyes held a slight hint of….sadness?

     Ethan Grant Dolan was…. _ sad _ ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awe poor baby. :’(


	5. FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, sorry it’s been awhile. I’ve decided my updating day will be Thursday’s. sorry if there’s any spelling errors, I’m too tired to check. enjoy. <3

**Emma Pov.**

     I felt the palms of my hands start to get clammy as Ethan just stared  down at me. I should have watched where I was going. Now he was probably planning in his mind how he would beat my ass quietly. I looked down at my feet that were to my surprise, wearing Grayson’s socks. “Again, Chamberlain. Watch where you’re goi-ng.” I heard Ethan say & his voice slightly wavered at the end of his sentence. He seemed out of it….maybe because of his father’s & his argument? I was going to apologize or plead mercy for running into him but my stomach made a noise, a sharp pain shot through it. I sucked in a breath, trying to be quiet about it. Wouldn’t want Ethan thinking I’m human & get hungry would I? I chuckled on the inside at my joke. I looked back up at Ethan since he was still standing in front of me & I moved to walk towards Grayson’s room but Ethan slid in front of me, standing in my way. I flinched slightly at the movement. Great. I didn’t wanna look up at him, I could already feel him staring down at me. “You didn’t eat whatever Grayson made you, did you.” Ethan basically stated & I didn’t respond. I heard him scoff above me & I glanced up at him through my eyelashes. I decided to take a chance on a touchy subject. “I uh...heard you and your dad….are you okay?” I tried to change the subject, not wanting to get into how it was his fault I wasn’t eating. I saw him clench his jaw & look away from my eyes. “I’m fine.” He gritted out & I raised an eyebrow at him, staring at his bruised jaw that from what I  _ remember _ ...wasn’t bruised at the football game. He seemed deep in thought, staring at the wall so I decided to take another chance by lightly touching the bruise with my fingertips. To my surprise, he didn’t make any movement as I touched the wound. I thought he would be like; “Don’t touch me whore.” or something. I dropped my hand back to my side. “ _ Ethan _ . Are you okay?” I asked again, not believing him the first time. He snapped his gaze back to me & now he seemed angry. “I said I’m  _ fine _ ,” he spat & walked even closer towards me with his fists clenched, “it’s none of your business anyway slut.” He gritted. I backed up with him following until my back was pressed against the cold wall. “You don’t seem fine.” I whispered. Honestly at this point, I didn’t care what happened to me. I was too weak to fight back anyway if he were to do something. Ethan’s lips parted & he stared at me darkly. “I’m perfectly fine goddammit!” He raised his voice & slammed his clenched fist against the wall, right next to my head. I stared at him unbothered, watching as he wound himself up because he was indeed, not  _ fine _ . I softly poked my finger at his darkened jaw & gave him a look. “That bruise says otherwise Ethan.” I said. What was I doing? I was gonna get myself into some deep shit if I didn’t stop, but I found myself wanting to continue winding him up until he broke. He grabbed my wrist & shoved my hand back to my side, away from his face. “I. Am.  _ Fine _ .” His voice cracked on the word ‘fine’ as he said this & I tilted my head at him. He bit his lip & to my shock, his eyes began to water slightly. “No. You’re not.” I stated quietly & he glared down at the floor. I watched as he raised his fist to punch the wall again, but he hesitated. He flickered his dark eyes from mine, to the wall & back again. He dropped his fist & ducked his head, leaning forward so that he was leaning fully against me & sagged his head against the wall above my head. “I’m fine.” He stated as his voice turned high pitched. He breathed out shakily & let out a quiet sob. Ethan was breaking down….in front of me? I wrapped my arms around him cautiously, feeling like he would reject the comforting motion. He didn’t though, he just began to hiccup out more sobs & dropped his head into my shoulder. I felt his whole body shake as he cried into my shirt. Since he was leaning down onto me, I hooked my chin on his shoulder & hugged him tighter. “It’s okay Ethan, you’re alright.” I whispered into his ear & he shook his head against my shoulder, that was now wet with his tears. I stroked his jet-black hair softly, trying to calm him down. He inhaled short & shaky breaths in between his sobs. I felt him pull away suddenly & I looked at his puffy, tear-streaked face. He moved the to empty spot on the wall next to me & mumbled something in between his crying about how it was ‘all his fault’. He then began to punch the wall harshly while sobbing, his face was all scrunched up in pain & sadness as he abused his knuckles. I immediately moved in front of him again & grabbed both of his now bleeding fists, holding them tightly as he weakly tried to yank them from my grip. “Ethan,  _ Ethan _ . Hey, look at me. Focus on me okay? You’re okay, stop hurting yourself when you didn’t do anything.” I soothed, while rubbing my thumbs against his split-skinned knuckles. He shook his head as even more sobs racked his body. “Ethan, I promise you that  _ nothing _ is your fault.” I said softly & pulled him back into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me as well this time & buried his wet face into my shirt again, his muffled cries loudly echoing down the hall. Thank God everybody was asleep in the house. 

     Ethan’s body shook heavily as he heaved with more cries. I had been holding him in my arms for a few minutes mow & he was still breaking down. I could he hadn’t cried in most likely a few years from how hard he was crying. Didn’t Grayson ever try to comfort him or ask him if he was okay? Maybe that was why Ethan turned into such a jerk. He bottled up his emotions for so long to the point where they turned from sad emotions to angry ones. Ethan gripped my shirt tighter & started mumbling horrible things about himself in between his heartbroken sobs. He started gasping while sobbing extremely hard & I got worried. He sounded like he was having a panic attack from crying so much, it sounded like he wasn’t getting enough air. He was shakily gasping & letting out ratchet cries against me. I grabbed his broad shoulders & pushed him away from me slightly. He continued to cry & choke. “Ethan.” I said & his actions didn’t change. “Ethan you’re having a panic attack from not getting enough air, I need you to calm down okay? Take some deep breaths. Just match your breathing with mine.” I told him & he continued to sob, now gasping harder as he pushed himself back into my grasp. It was like he wanted more affection & something to cry on. I gave in, wrapping my small arms back around his sputtering body. “Ethan, _breathe_.” I said, carding my fingers through his hair softly again. He surprisingly listened or at least heard me  & he tried taking in deep breaths, causing him to hiccup continuously through his muffled cries. I whispered sweet nothings into his ear as he attempted to calm down.

     After what seemed like forever of Ethan choking on air & tears, he finally  seemed to calm himself down a little bit. Somewhere in between his panic attack & calming down, his legs gave out unwillingly so now I was leaning against the wall with my arms wrapped around him as he continued to cry into my shoulder. Counting all the times I’ve cried, I don’t think I’ve cried as much in my whole life as Ethan was right now. How long had he held this all in? My stomach lowly aching was now the least of my problems, considering the broken boy that was leaning on me. “You’re okay.” I cooed softly as Ethan shook against me. I traced circles soothingly onto his back with my fingertips.

     Ethan’s loud cries & shaking subsided slowly as I held him. Now he was just silently crying, his salty tears streaming down his face & into my shirt. It was silent. Anybody else would think it was a peaceful night. It wasn’t, there was a storm going on in somebody’s head tonight. And it was deadly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked softly, moving my hand that wasn’t rubbing his back up to his hair. I threaded my fingers through it & stroked the shaggy mess smoothly. I felt his shoulders move as he shrugged sadly against me. He let out a shaky sigh moved his head up so that he was looking up at me & I had a clear view of his face in the dark hallway. His hair was plastered against his sweaty forehead, his eyes were extremely red & puffy, tons of tear tracks ran down from his eyes to his jaw & his facial expression looked so heartbroken. I removed my hand from behind his head & pushed his damp hair back out of his face. “M-my dad he uh...h-he started to h-hit me and take his anger out o-n me the past t-two years. E-especially in f-football….he uh..he hates it when I-I lose the game. Everything’s always m-my fault...n-never G-Gray’s! H-he never t-touches G-Gray.” Ethan stuttered, letting out a small cry at the end when he talked about Grayson. I never heard Ethan call Grayson; ‘Gray’. He always called him by his full name. I pulled Ethan closer as he started to cry again. “Ethan, it’s not your fault that you guys lose the game. You play better than all of the players on the team.” I stated. “B-but I shoul—” He started & I cut him off, “No, Ethan. It’s not your fault. I don’t know why your dad only hurts you but it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. Maybe your dad just thinks your stronger than Gray & could handle it, but he’s wrong anyways. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You’re just as sensitive as Gray. I can’t believe you bottled this up for two years. I’m sorry.” I said, my voice laced with sympathy. Ethan didn’t say anything, he just sniffled here & there. He then yawned & hiccuped. I smiled sadly at him. “Alright, come on. You need some sleep.” I announced quietly & he shook his head slowly. “Not tired.” He responded, yawning again. I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, _okay_. Come on.” I replied, standing up  & bringing him to his feet. He wobbled slightly but held himself up.

     I walked Ethan the short distance to his dark room & he plopped down  onto his bed. He didn’t move anymore so I sighed & pulled the comforter over him. He sighed tiredly in content & once I knew that he would be fine, I turned around to leave. As I walked out of his room, I stopped in the doorway when I heard him say something. “Thank you.” I heard him say faintly & I nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see me. “You’re welcome Eth.” I responded & waited a few seconds in the dim doorway before heading back down the hallway to Grayson’s room.

     I was peacefully dreaming & then I felt like I couldn't breathe. I opened my eyes, being welcomed by the darkness of whatever I had my face stuffed in. I groaned & rolled over, realizing my face was pressed into a pillow & that's why I couldn't breathe. I sat up & ran a hand through my hair, looking around the room & remembering where I was. Grayson's house. Then I remembered last night & what happened with Ethan. I never knew he was so...broken. I looked to the floor & saw an empty air mattress instead of Grayson. I sighed & got out of the comfy bed, padding towards the door as I passed the bowl of cold noodles that sat untouched on the table. I headed out into the hallway & stopped in my tracks as Ethan appeared in the doorway of his own room. He glanced at me with a hard stare & a clenched jaw. His eyes were still slightly red & he had faded dried tear tracks trailing down his face from last night. His hard eyes began to form into even more of a glare & I looked away, continuing to walk with my eyes looking anywhere but at him. As I passed by his stiff form, trying to walk quicker, he suddenly grabbed my arm not too hard & pulled me back. I flinched & he gave me a look I couldn’t read. “Tell anybody at school about what happened last night and I’ll break your arm, _whore_..” Ethan threatened  & I nodded quickly, yanking my arm out of his light grip & darting down the stairs to the kitchen. The old Ethan was back from vacation apparently. I didn’t plan to tell anybody about Ethan’s breakdown anyway, so he had nothing to be worried about. I walked through the open space, after reaching the bottom of the stairs. I headed into the kitchen. 

     I saw Grayson standing there with his back to me, cooking some eggs & bacon. I took a seat at one of the stools at the island, not planning to eat as I took out my phone & scrolled through Instagram. 

     A few minutes later a loud sizzling sound was heard & Grayson practically squealed, jumping away from the stove. I looked at his tense form & laughed, causing him to jump & turn around to look at me. “Oh my _God_ Emma, you scared the shit out of me. I didn't know you were even awake,” he started  & paused to look behind me before continuing, “or you Ethan. Good morning.” Grayson finished his sentence before turning back around & continuing to cook the fluffy eggs. He seemed like he was hiding something, but maybe it was just me being suspicious. I mentally shrugged, deciding to ignore it. Out the corner of my eye I saw Ethan sit at the other end of the island, not acknowledging Grayson's 'good morning’ as he took out his phone & sighed. Ethan's inky hair was dripping slightly & I could tell he had just taken a quick shower before coming downstairs, judging by how his shirt also had a few wet spots. I moved my gaze away from him. Grayson was still turned around as he began to speak, “Oh and Emma, I thought I told you to eat those noodles?” My eyes widened slightly. _Dammit_. He noticed. I almost swear I saw Ethan stiffen his posture slightly, as if he blamed himself for me not eating. Grayson tapped his spatula on the side of the pan, waiting for a response. “I forgot.” I lied  & Grayson turned around, cocking a disbelieving eyebrow at me. I fake smiled & he squinted his eyes. “Well guess what? I'm making plenty of eggs and bacon for you to _eat_.” He said, smiling  & turning back around to attend to the crispy bacon. My stomach flipped. I didn't _wanna_ eat. Especially with _Ethan_ here. He’ll probably stare at me disapprovingly or something, considering how quickly his attitude changed this morning. A plate was suddenly set in front of me  & my thoughts. I looked up to see Grayson setting a plate in front of Ethan as well. Ethan didn't hesitate to push the plate away from himself & turn his phone off, standing up to get something from the fridge instead. What the fuck? Grayson had a slightly hurt expression at Ethan's actions for a moment, but then he turned his attention back to his own plate & began eating. Ethan just leaned on the open fridge door, searching for something to eat as Grayson oddly finished his plate quickly & grabbed Ethan's plate to throw away the uneaten food. After scraping off Ethan's dish & cleaning it, Grayson sighed & looked at me. He lowered his eyes at me & made a silent gesture to my plate with his eyebrows. “ _Eat_.” He said  & I shrugged, picking up my fork only to play around with the eggs. I felt like Ethan was silently judging me. The thought gave me chills. I looked away from my barely-touched plate to Grayson, watching in confusion as he grabbed his car keys & wallet. He glanced at me & rolled his eyes when he turned his gaze to my plate. I gave him a tense smile & he frowned, turning to Ethan's back. “Ethan. Don't let Emma leave until she eats her _whole_ plate.” Grayson said  & I watched as Ethan's figure tensed up & he snapped his head towards his twin. “Fuck no. Why me?!” Ethan half-shouted & I flinched ever slightly at his tone. Grayson seemed unshaken & turned around, giving Ethan a cocked eyebrow. “Because I have to go somewhere for a little bit. And if you don’t, you know I’ll tell mom what you’ve been doing.” Grayson said nonchalantly & walked out the front door, shutting it behind him. I stared at the counter. Damn. I didn’t know Grayson could play dirty. And where was he going anyway?

     Well since Ethan probably doesn’t care if I don’t eat or not, he won’t care if I just leave. I dragged my gaze to him, he was leaning against the counter with his phone in his hand. I shrugged to myself & stood up from the wooden stool, about to leave back to Grayson’s room or something. “What are you doing?” Ethan asked stiffly. I didn’t turn to look at him. “Uh–going to back to Gray’s room.” I replied, biting my lip. “No, you’re not. Sit down.” He said & I turned around to look at him now. What the fuck? “Why.” I said, a little demanding. He  cocked an eyebrow at me. “First of all, you haven’t eaten in four or five days. Second of all, I can’t risk Grayson telling our mom anything. Now sit. Down.” He stated & my eyebrows furrowed. Why did he care that I didn’t eat? He’s the one that told me that I was fat & not to eat. My eyes darted to the front door & I booked it, running towards the big white door. “Shit!” Ethan yelled & I heard his footsteps behind me. Big arms were instantly wrapped around my waist & lifting me off the ground, carrying me back over to the stool. I squirmed around & yelled. “Ethan! Fucking let me go!” I screeched as he continued to carry me over to my seat. I pulled at his forearms, trying to get him to drop me but it wasn’t working. I dug my nails into his skin & he cursed under his breath, dropping me finally. I landed on the wooden floor on my ass. I quickly scrambled up, breathing heavily as Ethan rubbed the nail marks on his arms. I ran towards the stairs, heading to Grayson’s room & made it about halfway up the steep steps before Ethan grabbed my ankle. I tripped & smacked my head on one of the shaggy-carpeted stairs. Ethan muttered a few words & grabbed me by my waist again, this time laying me over his shoulder as he walked back down the stairs. I groaned, my vision was clouded & my stomach was aching sharply. Me hitting my head, running & screaming, took too much energy on a very empty stomach. My head swayed on Ethan’s back & I cringed, shutting my eyes as it became too much. 

     I felt my ass touch something cold & hard, my eyes shot open & I realized Ethan had set me back on the stool. He glared at me & moved his hand out, causing me to flinch. “I’m not gonna hit you….” He trailed off & reached up his hand, touching my cold forehead where it hit the stairs. Shocker. You know what I think is weird? Ethan never hits me anymore, only verbally abuses me. Why though? I dragged my thoughts back onto Ethan’s hand on my skin. My forehead didn’t hurt that much, just a weird humming sensation & I had a headache. Ethan dropped his hand & moved back to where he was earlier, leaning against the counter. Except, this time he wasn’t on his phone. He was watching me closely. I looked down at my plate & shook my head, etching away my cloudy vision. “Just eat, okay. You’re not fat...I’m..sorry. You’re actually really light, it barely felt like I was carrying anything.” I heard Ethan say & my eyebrows shot up. Did he just apologize? “Emma,” my name sounded smooth coming from him, “eat. I’m not leaving until you do.” He said & I reluctantly picked up my fork. I poked a piece of scrambled egg & brought it up to my face, only to bring it back down to my plate. I shivered. I shut my eyes & took a deep breath, bringing the fork back up to my mouth & placing the egg in my mouth. Well, shit, Grayson is one good cook. I chewed slowly & regretfully, watching Ethan go back onto his phone. My stomach made a noise of satisfaction as I finished all of the eggs surprisingly quick. My thoughts wandered as I ate the crispy bacon. Where did Grayson go? Why was Ethan acting slightly weird? Why was Ethan so attached to his phone lately?

 

     Why did my life have to be like this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sister shook. see you next Thursday. :)


	6. SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea I know. it’s a day late but ya know what? deal with it. besides, if I uploaded it yesterday then it would’ve been horribly written. be thankful. jk ly all. <3

**Emma Pov.**

     I sighed & laid my head down onto the birch wood desk. Mr. Rowell’s  English class was really dragging on today, all he was doing was telling some personal life story that happened to him this weekend. It was third hour. He leaned back in his office chair as he spoke proudly about his experience the past two days.  _ My  _ past two days were interesting let me tell you. After passing out Friday night, spending a day at Grayson’s house on Saturday, witnessing/helping Ethan, beginning to eat again & finally going home. I hadn’t talked to Grayson in person at all since Saturday, except for a few texts. I left his house before he got home from wherever he went off to in the morning. Oh and ever since Ethan had forced me to eat on Saturday, I’ve been eating normally again. Not because I want to, but because Grayson threatened over texting that he would stop eating if I didn’t eat again. And I consider myself a good friend, not wanting Grayson to suffer because of my actions.

     Mr. Rowell sneezed suddenly while talking & I jumped, too lost in my thoughts to be bothered. I sighed as the teacher continued to ramble on about nothing having to do with school.

     It felt like Mr. Rowell had been talking for an hour at least. But when I looked up at the small clock on the wall, I realized it's only been a few minutes. I groaned breathily in annoyance, a few students turning to look at me and shush me. I rolled my eyes & buried my face in between my arms that were crossed on the table. I was wearing Grayson’s black ‘Shadow Hill’ hoodie actually. I got cold on Saturday & grabbed a random hoodie that way laying in the living room before I left. Irrelevant.

     I felt my phone vibrate in the back pocket of my skinny jeans & ignored it. I was about to take a short nap for the rest of Mr. Rowell’s class anyway. I shut my eyes & sighed peacefully. My phone vibrated again. I rolled my eyes under my eyelids. It vibrated again. And again. And again. My eyes snapped open. Who the hell was texting me & what do they want that’s so important?! My phone continued buzzing & I snatched it out of my pocket, hiding the vibrating device under my desk & turning it on. _Gray: 2 missed call(s) & 34 unread message(s). _I squinted my eyes at my phone screen. Why was Grayson trying to get my attention? I swiped my thumb across the smooth screen & opened up my messaging app to read his texts. 

     My eyes widened as I read a few of them;

**Gray:** _ E.  _

**Gray:** _ Emma.  _

**Gray:** _ Emmaaaaaaaa.  _

**Gray:** _ Emma I need your help plz. It’s Ethan.  _

**Gray:** _ Ethan’s beating up Cameron & ur the only one that has the possible chance of calming him down.  _

**Gray:** _ I saw u guys in the hallway Friday night, nobody’s ever been able to get Ethan to calm down except u.  _

**Gray:** _ EMMAAAAAAA. _

**Gray:** _ Answer me, Ethan looks like he’s about to kill Cameron fr.  _

**Gray:** _ EMMA PLZ HURRY COME ON.  _

**Gray:** _ ETHAN WONT LET ANYBODY COME CLOSE TO HIM WITHOUT HITTING THEM.  _

**Gray:** _ EMMA.  _

**Gray:** _ EMMA.  _

**Gray:** _ EMMA.  _

**Gray:** _ EM.  _

**Gray:** _ EM. I STG, IF U DONT ANSWER ME. _

**Gray:** _ EM.  _

**Gray:** _ COME ON CAMERON LOOKS LIKE HES GONNA PASSOUT!!  _

_ read at 10:12 a.m. _

     Oh my God. I clicked my phone off & shoved it into the pocket of my hoodie, not bothering to ask for permission as I got up & walked out of the classroom. Mr. Rowell didn’t even notice, too busy telling his story. Once I walked out of the doorway & shut the classroom door as softly as possible behind me, I looked down the hallway both ways. Not seeing any commotion yet. I was about to go down the hallway to my left but then I heard yelling coming from the right side of the hallway. My eyes widened & I jogged down the right hallway, making a sharp turn towards the noises. I found myself slowing down into a walk as I saw all of the action in front of me. Ethan had Cameron Dallas pinned against he lockers & was punching him mercilessly, as Grayson, Meredith, and a few other people stood there watching. Grayson was trying to get Ethan to stop by yelling at him & Meredith looked like she was fake crying. Everybody else had a shocked & intrigued expression on their faces. I watched as Grayson made a move towards Ethan, grabbing his bicep & trying to pull him off of Cameron. Ethan moved his glare to his brother & punched Grayson across the face, causing him to let go of his twin & stumble back. To my surprise, James was watching this go down too & he immediately went over to Grayson & comforted him, caressing his swelling & red face as Grayson stared blankly at him. My eyes darted back to Ethan as Cameron gathered up all of his strength, shoving Ethan down to the ground & pinning him to the floor, beginning to punch him instead of the other way around. I stood there in shock. Cameron got a few good hits in on Ethan, before Ethan flipped Cameron over & began to punch him harder than before. I glanced back at Grayson who was being hugged by James & Grayson looked at me with a pleading expression. He wanted _me_ to help. I nodded my head slowly, slightly scared of what could happen to me.

     I walked over towards the small crowd, pushing people out of my way until I was in the middle with Cameron & Ethan. Ethan didn’t notice me & continued pounding Cameron into the floor. Cameron looked badly like he was gonna pass out at any moment. “You fucking bitch!” Ethan spat as he bruised Cameron’s jaw. Ethan got off of him & dragged Cameron to his feet, slamming him back against the locker. Cameron coughed up some blood & my lips parted slightly. Holy shit. Why was Ethan so mad? I took a few cautious steps towards the two. “Ethan...come on stop.” I said hesitantly & Ethan snapped his head towards me. His dark eyes lingered on me for a second before turning back to his victim again & continuing to beat him. Cameron’s eyes were fighting to stay open. _Jesus_. I closed the distance between the two  & I by gripping Ethan’s shoulder & pulling at him. “Ethan stop! You’re gonna kill him!” I yelled & he didn’t hit me, but he didn’t stop hitting Cameron either. “Ethan!” I shouted again. Nothing. Cameron’s eyes were slowly shutting. Ethan’s fist raised into the air again & I knew Cameron couldn't handle anymore hits. I did the only thing I could think of. I moved so that I was in front of Cameron, blocking Ethan's view of him. I wrapped my hand around Ethan’s incoming fist & diverted it away from Cameron & I, causing his fist to smash my hand into the hard locker. I clenched my jaw as I saw the slight dent it had made into the metal. Ethan’s eyes widened & he retreated his arm, leaving my hand to fall against my side. I flexed my fingers & winced internally. Ethan could punch. I dragged my gaze away from my twitching hand & over to meet Ethan’s shocked expression. Now that I could see Ethan's face, I realized that Cameron had indeed gotten a few good hits on him. His lip that was busted open & his flushed nose were both dripping thick red drops of blood. His cheekbone & jaw were also beginning to bruise more prominently, adding to the color the hit from his dad had given him. “Calm down, Ethan.” I said softly & Ethan just stared at me blankly. “I–are you...wha? I didn’t mean to-No–Cameron _Dick_ allas deserv—” He stuttered harshly & I cut him off. “No.” I stated. “Just get out of my _fucking_ way.” He said lowly, almost a whisper. “Ethan, calm. Down.” I whispered  & he stared at me with a hard expression. I reached up my non-smashed hand & hesitantly stroked the side of his face that was turning a deep red. Ethan flinched a little, but didn’t move away. I smoothed my fingertips across his hurt cheekbone & sighed as his eyes softened for a moment. 

     I heard Cameron cough harshly from behind me & felt a few drops of blood hit the back of my neck. Ethan’s mellow eyes turned hard again, as he snapped his head to look behind me at Cameron’s sluggish figure. “ _Ethan_.” I cooed  & placed my shaky-swollen hand on the other side of his face, gently  & painfully trying to turn his face & gaze back to me. He didn’t budge, stiffening his posture so he was immobile. “Emma for the last time, just leave me alone and _move_.” Ethan gritted out. And the fake Ethan is back. My hand throbbed  & I clenched my jaw as it began to shake involuntarily against Ethan's cheek. Ethan glanced down for a moment with confusion & something else I couldn't read in his eyes. I shook my head & grabbed his bicep with my good hand, yanking him & dragging his dazed form with me as I walked us down the hallway. Well, I walked. Ethan was busy weakly trying to pull away from me, still slightly dazed from who knows what. 

     Soon we were at the big metal doors that lead outside & once you shut those doors behind you, they can only be opened from the inside. Perfect. We don’t need Ethan going back in there to attack Cameron. I shoved him outside & followed closely behind, shutting the heavy doors behind me. Once recovering from the harsh push, Ethan ran up to the doors & banged on them loudly. Nobody came to let him in. People would pass, look at him with frightened eyes, and then keep walking. “Fucking shit!” Ethan yelled in anger, his pounding on the door turning to punches. “Fuck!” Another punch. “Bull!” Another punch. “Fucking!” Another punch. Blood started to spot the thick glass in the center of the doors from the skin on his already broken knuckles breaking open again. “Shit!” Another punch. “Fucking!” Another punch. “Dammi—” I stepped in front of him & wrapped my hands around his fists, just like I had so many other times. Ethan looked down at me with an unreadable expression. He yanked at his fists & I held a tight grip on them, trying to ignore the sharp pain shooting around in my one hand. “Ethan, stop. _Please_.” I said softly  & Ethan gave me a hard look, making one more big attempt at escaping my grasp. I winced out loud at the amount of pressure that went through my hand & held onto his fist as tight as possible with my shaking limb. Ethan immediately stopped for some reason & looked down at my dark red hand that encased his. I bit my lip hard, trying not to show the pain I felt. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t...you–I…” Ethan stuttered & I loosened my grip on his balled hands. “It’s fine…” I trailed off, confused as to why Ethan was apologizing. I felt Ethan’s hands shake against mine & I looked down in between us at them. I never actually looked at his hands closely, but now that I did….I could tell that he never took care of them when he got hurt. There were so many scars around his knuckles, from what I could see through all the blood. He also had tons of cuts all around his hands. Some old, some new. It made me wonder how he was able to play football so well with his injured hands. I rubbed light circles with my thumbs onto his shaky palms, where he wasn’t hurt as badly. “Ethan,” I started as I looked back up at him, “what’s wrong? What happened?” I asked & he clenched his jaw, a single small tear falling from his eye. “Nothing.” Was all he responded. “Bullshit.” I whispered & he didn’t say anything. I slowly let go of his quivering hands & placed them by his sides. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” I told him, sighing & ran a hand through my hair as I walked towards my car in the parking lot.

     I reached my Subaru & reached into the passenger seat window, taking into consideration that I left my keys in my locker. I leaned my head against the white painted side of the car as I reached for the glove compartment, clicking the button that made it slowly lower open. I smirked in success & reached as far as I could into the window, moving my hand around until I felt a small box. I grabbed the small white encasement & stood back up straight, heading back towards the entrance of the school. Heading back towards the broken boy that for some reason, I was helping fix himself.

     When I reached the front of the school, I saw that Ethan had moved so he was sitting against the cold-bricked wall. His knees were up against himself as he stared blankly into space. He held his hands in the air in front of himself & if they weren’t shaking uncontrollably & dripping blood, you would’ve thought he was praying. I scoffed at the thought of Ethan Dolan, _praying_. When pigs can fly. I went over to Ethan  & sat down in front of him onto the cold tar, taking his badly injured hands in my own gently. When I held his cold hands in my warm ones, the shaking stopped by a lot but it was still noticeable. He snapped out of his daze at the contact, looking at me & watching my actions intently. I let go of one of his hands & took the small bottle of hydrogen peroxide out of the pocket size first aid kit I had. I also grabbed the small, baby blue cloth & set both of his seizure-like hands down onto my legs. I poured a good amount of hydrogen peroxide onto the cloth & moved to Ethan’s right hand first, about to clean it but he flinched & tried to pull his hurt hand away. I stopped my movements & looked up to meet his confused eyes. “What are you doing?” He demanded & now I have him a confused look. “You’ve never had anybody clean your wounds...have you.” I said, not as a question. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed for a second, before they turned normal again. He shook his head slowly & I sighed in sympathy. I gently brought his hand back towards me. “Will it hurt?” I heard him ask quietly & I bit the inside of my cheek. Yes. It would. “Not that much.” I responded & gripped his hand slightly tighter so that he wouldn’t pull away when the liquid made contact with his abused skin. I pressed the cloth gently against his skin & as soon as the liquid seemed into his open cuts, he groaned lowly & shut his eyes as I continued. His hands began to shake even more at the sudden pain. 

     Once I had finally gotten all of his wounds thoroughly cleaned, wiping away all of the blood as well, I got out the white medical wrap & slowly wrapped it around his knuckles. Ethan’s eyes were open now as he watched me wrap his abused skin gently. I sealed the ends of the wrap on both of his hands with medical tape, so that it wouldn’t come off & examined his hands for second before dropping them. I sighed & took out the pain-relieving essential oil from the first aid kit, dropping a few drops of the strong smelling liquid onto my throbbing hand. Then I used the same wrap I had just used on Ethan, to wrap my whole swollen hand softly. I sealed it with the tape & packed everything back into the small white box. I looked up at Ethan’s once hard dark green eyes, to be met with his now softer, almost brown eyes as he looked back down & twiddled his thumbs. “I’m sorry about your hand.” He said quietly & I cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sorry about your _hands_.” I replied, earning a small  & forced chuckle from him. He looked up at me, his busted lip looking slightly more swollen than before even though I cleaned it earlier. “I think I’m just gonna go home.” Ethan stayed & I nodded, that would probably be the best idea. “I’ll let Gray know.” I said, tracing a pattern onto the smooth black tar with my fingertip. “Thanks I guess.” He said, gesturing to his hands & I nodded again. Ethan didn’t say anything else as he stood up & began walking towards his ‘Range Rover’ that was parked somewhere in the parking lot. I sighed & got up as well, pulling out my phone to send a quick text to James. Asking him to come open the doors for me & to tell Grayson that Ethan went home. Not long after, his glittery self came & opened the doors for me.

     At my last period, the teacher had held me back & asked if I could bring Ethan the ass-load of homework we got for some reason. I don’t know why _me_. Couldn’t the teacher have just asked Grayson? His own _brother_? I agreed reluctantly anyway  & grabbed the stack of papers, rushing out the door to try & find Grayson since it would make things last easier if he could just bring them to his twin brother. I couldn’t find him anywhere though & when I asked James about it, he said that Grayson had went to hangout with some of his ‘fellow sisters’ from the football team just a few minutes ago. I groaned as I now sat in my car, throwing my head against the leather seat like a child. I didn’t particularly want to go see Ethan. Especially since I knew he was the only one home right now. His parents were both at work, Grayson was out with friends & Ethan's sister Cameron was at college. Cameron & I used to be close friends as well before she went to college. I sighed at the memories & opened my eyes, reluctantly putting my seatbelt on & jabbing the key into the ignition.

     I walked slowly up to the front door of the Dolan’s house, dragging my feet with every step I took. I trudged up the small amount of steps leading to the front door & took a deep breath before knocking a few times. No response. My anxiety got the best of me as my thoughts ran wild. What if Ethan was sleeping & I just woke him up? What if he had a girl over & I just interrupted them or something? What if he got so mad that he beat me?? My grip tightened on the stack of paper in between my hands as I waited nervously. A few minutes went by & there was still no action. I hesitantly knocked again. Nothing. A few minutes passed of me knocking & I sighed. I knew Ethan was here because his car was here, but why wasn’t he opening the door? Maybe I should just go in & set the papers on the kitchen counter or something? That seemed like my best option at the moment. I clenched my jaw & held my breath as I opened the front door slowly, walking into the open environment of a house. I silently shut the big door behind me & padded quietly over to the empty kitchen, sliding the papers onto the marbled countertop. I paused for a moment, it was so silent you could hear a pin drop. “Ethan?” I called out, slightly loud not knowing if he might be upstairs. No response, still silence. I shrugged to myself. Maybe he was playing video games & had his headphones on? I walked softly towards the door that I came inside form & was about to leave when I heard it. It was such a faint noise that if I hadn’t been really listening I would’ve missed it. A soft cry was what I heard. And it was coming from upstairs, depending on how far away it sounded. A few more pained noises were heard, before I was running up the stairs towards the room of the only person those noises could possibly belong to.

 

     Ethan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm....wonder what will happen ahah. also sorry that it’s so short, the next one will be a long one I promise. goodnight peasants. :)


	7. SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im back bish.

**Emma Pov.**

    I stood outside of Ethan’s bedroom for a moment, staring at the white door that seemed so innocent except for the fact that there was a fist-sized hole punched through the middle of it.

 

    I breathed in & out deeply & nervously as I heard a very quiet cry from behind the door I stood at. 1. I had just run up the stairs & 2\. I was nervous to see what was behind the door.

 

    I shook my head as I heard another quiet choked sound & then nothing, no more cries or noises. I couldn’t stand here anymore without doing something.

 

    I gripped the door handle tightly & turned it, shoving the impaled door open & being shocked at what I saw.

 

    Ethan was sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed with a small razor in his hands & a blood-dripping right arm. He looked drained as he stared at the floor & shivered constantly.

 

    “Oh my God, Ethan!” I whisper-yelled & ran over to his slightly-shaking form. He looked at me with wide eyes & I grabbed his left unhurt-wrist with my wrapped hand, trying to grab the bloody blade from his fingertips with my other hand.

 

    “No.” He choked out quietly & balled his hand quickly into a fist around the blade. I gasped. “Ethan no, stop!” I raised my voice & attempted to pry his clenched fist open with both of my hands.

 

    Ethan let out a soft noise of pain & I felt something drip onto my leg, realizing that it was from the blade cutting into his palm deeply from his tight grip. His fist only clenched tighter at the sight. “Ethan you have to let it go!” I yelled.

 

    If he kept going he could cut into his bone & have permanent damage possibly. “Ethan let go, come on. _Please_ Ethan!” I pleaded & he didn’t. What the fuck would make him?! I panicked.

 

    For some reason a sick idea popped into my head as I remembered how Meredith bragged at lunch one time that Ethan was weak for nicknames. I remember exactly how I rolled my eyes at her as well.

 

    “Ethan, _baby_ , let go.” I said, trying to talk him down by using a nickname. Ethan's breathing faltered momentarily at the name & I took advantage of it, prying his fist open quickly.

 

    I snatched the crimson-soaked blade out of his gashed palm & chucked it behind me, out of his reach. Why would Ethan hurt himself like this?

 

    I looked at the deep cut buried in a small pool of blood on the inside of his hand, lowering my eyes in sympathy. I looked into his eyes & watched as silent tears slowly rolled down his flushed face.

 

    “Come here.” I said softly & pulled him into my arms, holding him close as he buried his face into my hoodie. I felt the material of my hoodie start to dampen as Ethan cried silently. I carded my fingers through his hair repeatedly, pushing it off of his flushed forehead. “It’s okay, you’re okay. Just let it out.” I whispered, gently rubbing his shoulder blade with my free hand.

 

    Ethan subconsciously moved his gashed hand to grip onto my hoodie, but let out a sharp groan of pain & flinched as the movement reminded him of the wound. I glanced down at his shaking hand.

 

    The once clean & white wrap I had put on his knuckles earlier, was now stained a deep red from the blood trickling towards it. I reached & gently grabbed his wrist, bringing his bleeding hand towards me. I caressed the inside of his wrist softly with one hand, trying to comfort him as I reached behind me & grabbed the discarded razor with my other hand. Ethan breathed shakily into my hoodie, not knowing what I was doing.

 

    I took the razor to the sleeve of my hoodie & cut a big strip of fabric off, throwing the razor back to the side once I was done. I moved Ethan’s hand softly against my pant leg, wiping off as much blood as possible. I then held Ethan’s hand open gently & took the strip of my hoodie I had cut out, wrapping it securely around his open-wounded hand & tying it off so it would stay. I read an article once that using soft fabric like clothing, is actually better to wrap & treat wounds rather than using medical wrap.

 

    I felt Ethan hiccup against me & I sighed. This boy was so damn broken & nobody cared enough to really ask him what was wrong. He may be a bitch that would both physically & verbally abuse me, but it was clearly only a way of letting his emotions out through anger.

 

    I rubbed his inner wrist in a calming motion & set his encased hand back down next to him, reaching for his other arm. The one that showed all of his pain that had been bottled up, right on his skin.

 

    My fingertips barely touched Ethan’s abused arm before he flinched back & unburied himself from me, moving so that he was back against the side of his bed.

 

    Ethan had his arm cradled tightly against his chest as he looked at me with bloodshot & puffy eyes, biting the inside of his lip. “Ethan I’m not gonna hurt you….?” I said as more of a question, wondering why he backed away. “I know but I don’t deserve it.” Ethan stated quietly & brokenly, looking down at his lap. “Deserve what?” I asked & Ethan shook his head lightly. “This. Life. You helping me, it’s not worth it. I’m not worth it.” He explained, his voice cracking as a few silent tears trickled down his flushed face. “Oh, _Ethan_. Yes you do, I promise. You are worth it.” I stated  & moved closer to him again.

 

    Ethan immediately moved farther away from me, shaking his head at my statement. “No. I don’t.” He said, voice wavering. “Ethan stop pushing me away, _please_ . You’re right, I don’t have to help you. But it’s my choice to help you  & I want to.” I said firmly but quietly, moving closer without him moving away this time. “I’m not worth it. Nobody would miss me if I just ended it all.” I heard him whisper sadly, almost to himself. “Ethan that’s not true at all,” I started & gently placed my hand on top of a few of the cuts on his arm which made him flinch slightly, “Grayson would be heartbroken for starters. Your his damn twin brother Ethan, you can’t just leave Gray like that. Your mom would miss you too, _a lot_ . Sean wouldn’t admit it, but he would miss his son a lot as well. Your friends would be sad, missing your comedic personality when you’re around them. There’s plenty of other people that would miss you a lot. _I_ would miss you, Ethan.” I explained softly & lightly traced around the cuts on his skin. There was still fresh blood beading on every line cut into his thick skin.

 

    I slowly & gently curled my hand around his wrist, pulling his arm back to me as I examined the mess he made of his skin.

 

    I sighed sympathetically as I smoothly wiped his arm clean of the dried & new blood with the sleeve of my hoodie. Ethan’s arm tensed up under my light grip & I knew the cuts were sensitive. I set his arm down on my knee, needing both hands for a moment as I unwrapped the medical wrap from my hand that I had put on earlier after Ethan got into the fight with Cameron. My hand was feeling better & there was nothing wrong with the medical wrap being reused, seeing as I didn’t bleed on it.

 

    I gently held him by his forearm & wrapped the medical wrap up & down his arm, securing it with the leftover tape.

 

    Ethan was silent, just watching my actions with a melancholy & hard expression. I gave him a sigh of sympathy as a hot, sticky tear ran down the side of his face silently. I rubbed his bandaged arm softly.

 

    “I’m not judging you. I can almost hear your thoughts with how loud & hard you’re thinking.” I stated quietly & Ethan quickly wiped his salty tear away.

 

    I set his arm down carefully on my lap & held my arms out. I could tell he wanted comfort but didn’t think he deserved it.

 

    Ethan stared at my outreached arms for a few seconds, biting the inside of his cheek. Well shit, that’s embarrassing. I guess he didn’t want comfort.

 

    I looked away, avoiding his stare & began to drop my arms when a large body suddenly fell onto me. I looked down, shocked as I saw & felt Ethan gripping my hoodie tightly. He wasn’t crying, just half-hugging me tightly. I slowly wrapped my arms around his tense form in return, rubbing soothing circles into his back & the back of his neck.

 

    After a few minutes of sitting in silence & tracing patterns onto his skin, one of my hands having moved to his right bicep. I trailed my other hand into his soft, jet-black hair & decided to break the silence.

 

    “Ethan..?” I started & he hummed in response, voice slightly cracking. “You okay?” I asked, wanting to make sure. I felt his body tense up slightly more.

 

    “Other than feeling worthless….I guess.” He responded, deep voice muffled by the thick fabric of my hoodie. “Ethan. You are _not_ worthless.” I stated, emphasizing on the word ‘not’. “Yes I am. Look at me.” He replied, sounding broken as he gripped my hoodie tighter with his wrapped hand.

    

    I twisted a few strands of his hair in between my slim fingers, continuing to card my fingers through his soft locks. “Ethan you are worth it. You always have been. Think about the sun. It doesn’t shine brightly because I said it does. It’s always shined bright, I’m only acknowledging the fact that it does. You aren’t worth it because I said you are, you always have been worth it. I’m just reminding you. I can promise you that you _are_ worth it.” I explained, staring down at his still form. At least he had calmed down & wasn’t crying anymore.

 

    “Thank you.” I heard him say quietly & I nodded.

 

    I looked to my hand that was in his hair, watching my own movements. I paused my actions when I saw a flash of blue as I dragged my fingers soothingly through his hair. I gently tugged a few of his locks back, revealing a small clump of hair that held a bright blue streak. “I didn’t know you had a streak of color in your hair.” I added nonchalantly. I felt him shrug against me. “It’s stupid. I try to hide it.” Was his answer. “Well, I like it. You shouldn’t hide it, people would think it’s cool I bet.” I said & he sighed, his chest contracting against my leg.

 

    “If you say so.” He responded & I smiled to myself, ruffling his hair.

 

**Grayson Pov.**

 

    The anxious tapping of my foot was a part of the many noises to be heard in the crowded club. I felt alone. I had only taken two shots so far just to calm my nerves of being alone in a packed place.

 

    I continuously looked down at my phone in my calloused hand, waiting for an indicator or something that he would be here soon. James. I was waiting for James.

 

     After school I had gone to ‘In and Out’ with the guys on the football team, which had lasted a few hours & then I was on my way home when James texted me. He asked if I wanted to hangout & I agreed, telling him to meet me at the club that was closest to us.

 

    I don’t know why I agreed honestly. I mean, yes he’s my friend but we aren’t really that close at all. The only ‘close’ interaction we’ve had so far is when James insisted on cleaning up my face from the nasty bruise Ethan gave me earlier.

 

    Speaking of my twin brother, I wondered how he was doing. I also wonder about Emma, since she was the one stuck outside with him for a whole period.

 

    Ethan was most likely sitting at home, sulking. Like always. I miss my brother, we used to be bestfriends. Inseparable. I don’t know what happened. High school changes people I guess. I know Sean—our dad—taunts Ethan & sometimes hits him, but I didn’t think it cut down into him that deep until I was going to get a drink & stopped when I saw Ethan breaking down in Emma’s arms about it. I had decided I wasn’t thirsty anymore & gone back to bed, thinking about what I had just saw.

 

    I was tempted to text Emma right now but stopped as I felt a presence sit next to me on one of the old stools. “Hey daddy.” James fucking Charles has arrived.

 

    I cringed at the nickname & laughed softly, clicking my phone off & shoving it into my pocket as I turned to face him. “Hi.” I responded & James flashed me a perfect smile. “How are youuuu?” James sung & I smiled. “We just saw each other a few hours ago, but I’m fine. How about you?” I asked in return & James stared at me, reaching out his hand to gently caress the bruise I had received from Ethan. “I’m alright.” James replied, dropping his hand back into his lap as I blushed slightly.

 

    James just had that effect on me & I didn’t know why. I wasn’t gay….right?

 

    “...ten please.” James’ voice brought me out of my thoughts as he just ordered from the bartender.

 

    He turned his body back to look at me again, his makeup almost glowing from the lights in the club.

 

    He clapped his hands together as he began to speak, “I have a game we can play!” He exclaimed & I sighed, debating if I regretted my decision of coming here or not.

 

    “Do explain.” I responded, running a hand through my caramel hair. “Well it’s called twenty questions and—“ He began but I cut him off, already knowing the game. “Yeah, I know what game that is. I’ll go first.” I stated & James paused his movements for a moment before smiling widely & nodding.

 

    “Okay um….what’s your favorite color?” I started simple. “Rainbow colors. I can’t choose.” He answered & then opened his mouth to ask his question. Of course he liked the rainbow I mean, just look at him.

 

    “Are you a virgin?” James asked nonchalantly, picking at his perfectly manicured hands. My eyes widened. Blunt much?

 

    “Uh n-no.” I answered, slightly flustered that he would ask that. He just nodded, smirking. “Okay. Have you ever been fucked by a guy?” I asked, smirking back. Two people can play at that game.

 

    James seemed shocked. “Yeah. But they had some small ass dicks, so it wasn’t really that fun.” He stated, pouting slightly & I laughed.

 

    “My turn,” he said, “favorite sex position?” He asked, smiling evilly. “Missionary.” I responded, trying to sound unfazed. James chuckled before turning to face the bar counter.

 

    “Thank you so much.” James said, thanking the bartender that just set down ten shots in front of us. I cocked an eyebrow at him. “Got enough?” I questioned & James smiled playfully. “Everytime we answer a question, we take a shot.” He stated. “Alright.” I responded, ready to let loose.

 

    James smirked & downed one shot already, just for fun.

 

    “Okay, what’s your type in guys?” I challenged, considering it was my turn. James smiled, taking a breath before opening his mouth to speak.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

    I watched as Jughead slipped on his leather jacket, Betty looking at him with a confused look.

 

    Ethan shifted in his sleep on my lap and snuggled into the fabric of my hoodie further, the blanket on him began to slip off of his body that was half on me & half on the leather couch we had moved to sit on around an hour ago.

 

    I was forcing him to watch Riverdale with me, ignoring all of his protests that it was a stupid show. He eventually fell asleep on me, my favorite show boring him to sleep.

 

    I pulled the soft blanket back onto his body, tucking it around him more. His arms & hands were so bandaged up that you could barely see his tanned skin. He had caused so much pain to his limbs in the past few days that it made me wonder & hope that he had only cut the one time I caught him.

 

    The outro music that plays at the end of every episode in Riverdale began to fill the living room & I sighed, deciding I should probably wake Ethan up now.

 

    I shook his shoulder gently after grabbing the remote & turning off the wide screen tv. “Ethan, wake up.” I said gently & he stirred awake slowly, lifting his head up to look at me as he blinked multiple times. His hair was sticking up everywhere & due to it all messed up, you could clearly see the one blue strand standing out.

 

    I chuckled & combed my fingers through the wavy black mess, attempting to put a few hairs back in place. Ethan yawned & plopped his head back onto my lap.

 

    “How many episodes did I sleep through of this shitty show?” He asked groggily. “Around three. Not that many.” I responded & shifted my legs slightly, there were falling asleep under his muscle-weight.

 

    “How’re you feeling now?” I asked, remembering that earlier as we walked into the living room he had complained his stomach hurt. “Way better.” He answered honestly & I nodded.

 

    “How’re you feeling about...this?” I questioned quietly, placing a hand softly on his exposed wrapped arm.

 

    “I fucking hate you.” Ethan said, seriousness lacing his voice.

          

——————————————————————————————–—

 

        Notes:

——–——————————————————————————–                                                                         

alright guys, thx so much for all of the likes but I’m deciding to end the story here because I’ve lost interest & motivation. sorry. don’t hate me. i love you all. :(

 

oh.

  


also

  


just know

  


that

  


this

  


is

  


a prank.

 

of course I’m gonna keep going with this story!!

HA GOTCHA _BITCH_.

….lol ok now that I had my fun..back to the story….

 

——————————————————————————————–—

 

    I almost fell for it & I frowned with slight fear at the corner of my lips as I retracted my hand, but then Ethan grinned widely & started laughing at my expression.

 

    I lowered my eyes at him, confused.

 

    A genuine, hearty, laugh erupting from his throat. His body shook on my lap with laughter. “I’m kidding, Em.” Ethan said in between trying to catch his breath from laughing so much.

 

    I let out a breath of relief. Shit. He scared me. _Em_. Ethan’s never called me by a nickname or...anything but a cruel profane word really. I smiled to myself, taking this as a sign that he’s not feeling as self-destructive  & angry as usual anymore.

 

    I looked down at him as he wiped a fake tear from under his eye. “Comedy gold.” He mumbled, still grinning. I flicked his forehead, causing him to giggle. Yes, _giggle_. You heard me right.

 

    “Shut the fuck up. You almost gave me a heart attack.” I said sternly, staring him down as he adjusted the blanket that was draped over his body.

 

    He stopped his actions & looked up at me with an unreadable expression, before looking back down at the baby-blue-blanket & fidgeting with the edge of it.

 

    “What?” I asked, noticing he seemed anxious. “I’m sorry. I really am. I get so mad & do shit I don’t mean to do….& it usually ends up affecting you so I’m sorry.” He answered quietly & I smiled softly. “It’s okay Eth, it’s not your fault you have anger issues.” I replied & he let out a breath he had been holding in.

 

    I wasn’t gonna say I forgave him for the past two years I had suffered because of him, because that wouldn’t be true. I don’t forgive him, _yet_.

 

    But I do trust him more & more each day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts on the new format? ily all. :)


	8. EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, it’s a day late. yes, it’s short. yes, you’ll probably hate me for this chapter. enjoyyyyy. ;)

**Grayson Pov.**

    I groaned as I woke up naturally, my dream about a hot Latina chick coming to an end. I sighed, scrunching my face up at the sun shining through my eyelids. It’s Tuesday. I stretched  & rolled over, the sheet falling off of me as I opened my eyes to look at the time on my alarm clock.  _ 6:58 a.m. _ Shit. I’m running late. 

 

    I sat up quickly in my layered bed & clenched my jaw hard, a pounding headache hitting me like a truck. A familiar feeling. A hangover. I sighed & ignored my throbbing head, getting up & grabbing a random pair of clothes from my closet consisting of a grey ‘Vans’ hoodie & some black joggers. I slipped them both on quickly. Not bothering to wear a shirt under the hoodie since I was already gonna be late & it was cold out anyway. I snatched my deodorant up & lathered it on, my hoodie riding up slightly. I also sprayed a spritz of cologne on, hopefully covering the scent of alcohol since I didn’t have time for a shower like I usually did.

 

    I did all the necessities in the bathroom—not bothering to style my ruffled hair—& raced down the stairs, almost tripping over the last step. I darted towards the living room, passing the front door & face planting straight into Ethan who was about to walk out the door. Ethan stumbled back slightly & for once in my life, I was happy that’s Ethan was at least an inch taller than me. Because otherwise, his lips would’ve made contact with  _ my  _ lips other than my nose. I cringed at the thought, wiping my nose. 

 

    Ethan didn’t say anything & just continued on his way out the door, he also had a hoodie on but I could tell he had another long sleeve shirt on under it since the sleeve was poking out slightly. Weird. He almost  _ never  _ double-layers his clothes. He also seemed sort of sad….but I mean, what’s new? He only has two moods basically. Mad or sad. Honestly I preferred him being sad more, as cruel as it sounds. But when he’s sad, he usually doesn’t insult my every action like he does when he’s mad. 

 

    The front door shut behind him loudly echoing through the house & I snapped out of my thoughts, grabbing my backpack up off of the couch & stopping by the kitchen to down two pills quickly. Hopefully they would help with my hell of a headache I had. 

 

    I sprinted out the front door, shutting it behind me & trotting down the few 

concrete steps on the first porch. I looked in our driveway to see that Ethan had taken his ride & was already gone so I walked over to my ‘Bronco’ & got in, shutting the door behind me. I threw my bag in the passenger’s seat & jammed the key into the ignition, turning it until the engine purred & I quickly put on my seatbelt. I checked my mirrors before shifting the gear stick into reverse & backing down the driveway, then putting the gear stick back into drive & speeding off towards school. 

 

    After finding a random parking spot & running into school, I sighed in relief as I leaned against my locker. There was still seven minutes before first period actually started. I noticed a familiar blue ‘Shadow Hill’ hoodie coming my way & I smiled looking at my bestfriend. “Hey Gray, how's your head?” Emma asked, chuckling as she referred to my hangover. “I have a hell of a headache and can’t remember anything that happened last night so, shitty.” I responded, running a hand through my messed up hair. “Yeah, you seemed pretty out of it last night when you came stumbling into the house.” Emma stated, laughing more at the memory of last night. “Wait, you were at our house yesterday?” I questioned, not remembering. Was she there with Ethan? Emma paused for a moment & adjusted the bottom of her hoodie, looking down at her fingers. “Uh-yeah. Mrs. Perrivil asked me to bring Ethan the homework so I did….and then I just stayed for a little bit to watch a show with him.” Emma explained & I nodded. She seemed like she was leaving out something but I chose to ignore it. “I see.” I said. “Yeah, it was hilarious because when you came home last night you kept mumbling incoherent things about  _ James  _ before going upstairs. You must’ve been with him.” Emma said & my eyebrows knitted together in confusion.  _ Was _ I with James? Ugh, I don’t remember. 

 

    “Oh, speaking of James, here he comes.” Emma announced, smiling at somebody behind me. “Hey kitty girl!” I heard James say, towards Emma & I turned around to look at him. James just shot me a smile & continued talking to Emma. I was about to say something but then James started making gestures with his hands as he spoke, causing the collar of his shirt to dip down slightly & expose what looked like a hickey. My stomach flipped for some reason & my eyes widened.

 

    Fuck, now I remember last night. It all came flooding back as I stood there shocked.

 

***

 

_ James laughed as he downed another shot effortlessly, already on his twelfth after we had ordered more to continue our question game. I was ashamed to say that I myself, was on my sixteenth. The lights in the club seemed blurry & the blaring music that flooded the room was piercing through my eardrums in a good way. “My turnnnn.” James sang out & I laughed loudly, not knowing why. “Okay uhh….are you really straight or is that just what you want everyone to think?” He slurred & I made a scrunched up face as I thought about my answer. “I’m about as straight as the ramen noodles we were served at lunch today. So e-uh..no.” I answered honestly, not even knowing what I was saying. Normally I would never expose myself like this, but I haven’t been this drunk in awhile & it was really affecting me. James laughed & hiccuped, then reminding me it was my turn. I burped & blew it into James’ pretty face before asking my question. Wait-wha...did I just mentally call James pretty? I laughed at myself. “At the uh-volleyball? No. Football? Yeah-uhm...at the football game did you enjoy having to put my phone in my ass pocket?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows in a childish way & then laughing at myself again, almost falling off the stool I sat upon. James grinned. “Mmm...maybe.” He responded & winked at me, making my stomach do a flip for no reason. The fuck? Why did that wink affect me? I shrugged at myself, my eyes traveling around the club. I snapped my gaze back in front of me, remembering that it was James’ turn but to my surprise, he was extremely close to me now. James was leaning forward on his stool & our knees were now touching. He grinned at me. “Have you-uh...ever kissy-kissed a boy?” James slurred childishly & I laughed. “Nope.” I said, popping the ‘p’. I opened my mouth to ask a question, considering it was my turn but then lips were suddenly smashed against mine & as drunk as I was, I went with it. I melted into the kiss, tasting the alcohol on James’ lips as he bit down gently on my bottom lip. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss & moved so that he was sitting on my lap, straddling me as we continued to make out. He broke his lips away from me for a second, catching his breath as I placed kisses onto his jaw & moved my head down into his neck. I sucked lightly on the skin there, before using one hand to tug down the collar of his shirt slightly. I attached my lips to his collarbone & sucked harshly, surely causing a mark. Above me I felt as James tilted his head back to give me more room. He let out a small noise of pleasure when I found his sweet spot at the base of his neck, biting down lightly on the tender skin before hands tangled in my hair & forced my head back up only to press my lips harshly against theirs again. I complied & moved my hands to the small of his back, pressing our bodies closer together. The loud music around us & the lights shining through our closed eyelids seemed like a distant thing as we continued to make out. _

 

_ *** _

 

    “Grayson!” Somebody yelled, snapping me out of the flashback & I shook my head as I looked in front of me. It was James who had called my name. He reached his hand out to touch my shoulder. “Are you oka—” James began but I cut him off by flinching away from his outreached hand. I shook my head again. No. I’m not gay-I...there’s no way I made out with–wha...I..if my secret gets out then-ugh I fuck! I’m not fucking gay! I looked at James who had a hurt expression written all over his face from how I flinched away from him. I found myself not caring in that moment. “Gray?” Emma questioned quietly & I glanced at her before doing the only thing I could possibly think of in that moment. I turned around & ran as fast as I could, making a beeline for my first class. Thankfully, none of my friends had first period with me.

 

**Emma Pov.**

    I tapped my fingers against the desk anxiously as I sat in Spanish class. This morning Grayson was acting so odd, he was fine until James came over to chat. Did something between them happen? I mean, they might have hung out last night before Grayson got home? Grayson did keep mumbling about James when he walked through the door. 

 

    A paper was suddenly slammed down onto my desk & I retracted my hand from it's resting place. I looked up to see that it was only my Spanish teacher going around & returning everybody's tests we had taken yesterday. I sighed, grabbing up the thick sheet of paper. I had gotten an  _ A- _ . Not bad, considering nobody stole my notes or anything this time. Ethan doesn't do anything at all to me anymore, ever since last night when I found him cutting himself. Like I said before, he's so damn broken & nobody ever would have guessed.

 

    I glanced up through my eyelashes, looking at the back of Ethan's orange hoodie that he had double layered judging by the black sleeves poking out of the orange ones. I already knew why. He was trying to hide the bandages that I put on him. You could clearly see the bandage on his hand though. By how dropped Ethan's posture looked, he seemed sad.

 

    The bell then rung & I got out of my seat like every other student, packing up my things. After grabbing my folder I headed towards the door, stopping by Ethan who was still packing up. I gently touched the sleeve of his hoodie to get his attention & he flinched away from the gesture. I put my hands up in a surrender motion & raised my eyebrows. Ethan just blankly stared at me, his dark under eyes seeming more prominent today. “You okay?” I asked & he shrugged. “Yeah, just one of those days.” He responded & I nodded, immediately knowing what he meant. It used to be one of  _ those  _ days everyday for me when Ethan & his friends would torture me.

 

    “Well, see you around.” I stated & Ethan nodded curtly as I turned around, walking out of the classroom. I shook my head, looking at my shoes as I walked. That was so awkward for no reason. 

 

    I gasped as my back was suddenly slammed against the wall of the hallway, having been pushed by somebody. I looked up to see that it was  _ Jack Dail _ who was maliciously looking at me. The fuck? “What the fuck is your problem, Dail?” I asked sharply, shooting a glare at him. Jack is one of Ethan’s friends & used to push me around too….but I thought that was over. I moved to get away & continue to my second period but Jack moved forwards & shoved me back to where I just was. Against the wall.

 

    “ _ Bitch _ . Don’t use my name in that filthy mouth of yours. I noticed Ethan hasn’t been doing anything to you lately...so I decided I would have some fun instead.” Jack said casually, with a disgusted look on his face. Great.  _ Great _ . Getting pushed around again. Just what I needed. In fact, I had almost gone a whole week without any bullshi–I was pushed out of my thoughts violently by feeling a fist connect with the side of my face.

 

    I held my throbbing right cheek in my hands & cocked an eyebrow at Jack, who didn’t seem to notice as he was already lifting his leg up to kick me. I tried to move & dodge his move, but I was too slow & his foot made a harsh contact with my stomach. I doubled over in pain, my arms in shock slowly going to grab my aching stomach. But before I was able to, Jack kneed me in the stomach, hitting the same spot painfully. I gripped my stomach tightly as I leaned over, a small trickle of blood rolling down my chin as I coughed roughly. I felt Jack’s large hands push me so that I fell against the wall onto the floor. I glanced up & saw Jack only give me a sadistic grin before turning around to walk away. I groaned & wiped my chin with the sleeve of my hoodie.

 

    My stomach hurt way worse than my abused cheekbone as I sat leaning against the wall, arms wrapped protectively around my abdomen. I could taste the metallic tint of blood in my mouth & I scrunched up my face at the gross taste. 

 

    The tardy bell’s miserable sound rang throughout the now empty hall & I rolled my eyes, letting out an irritated huff. Even better start to my day, being late to class.

 

    I pushed myself off of the ground, using the wall as a leverage so I was now standing up. An aching pain shot through my stomach & I clenched my jaw, trying to ignore it as I walked slowly to Social Studies.

 

    I paused outside the door of the classroom & straightened my posture as much as possible, pulling on my hood as well incase the hit from Jack had formed a bruise. I breathed in deeply & slightly painfully before turning the handle of the door & walking into the classroom full of students, staring at the floor as I quickly walked to my desk & took my seat. I stared at the pattern in the wood on the desk & tried to ignore how the teacher had stopped talking ever since I walked in. 

 

    “Emma, hood  _ off _ . You’re already tardy, don’t want to get a pink slip do we?” I heard the teacher threaten & I froze, already feeling other student’s eyes on me. “N-no sir.” I responded quietly, slowly taking my hood off & then quickly staring at my lap as I twiddled my fingers. I heard a few students gasp quietly & I shut my eyes in embarrassment. I guess a faint bruise had formed. “Alright class enough, as I was saying. In 1983 the….” The teacher began to talk again & I lost him, just thankful that he directed everybody’s attention away from me.

 

    Social Studies actually went by surprisingly quickly, the only thing being learned by me was that it was way too easy for me to get lost in my own thoughts. Oh & that the pain in my stomach would probably last a day or two.

 

    The bell for third period rung loudly throughout the school & I shot up, gathering my items quickly & darting out the door of the classroom. I yanked my hood back up & made a beeline for the bathroom, but somebody grabbed me by my arm & held me back. Oh no. Not Jack. My stomach still hurt like hell. I was too scared to turn around & see who the arm that was holding me belonged to. 

 

    I tried to escape the person’s hold on my arm. “N-no, stop!” I said, still trying to get away. The person grabbed my other arm & pulled me too face them. I shut my eyes tightly & flinched in their hold, waiting for the impact of being hit to happen.

 

    “Hey, hey, it’s just me.” The person said & I was shocked as I heard that it was Ethan’s voice. I opened my eyes & relaxed in his light grip. I realized that he probably followed me out of class. Shit, I forgot that he had Social Studies with me. 

 

    Ethan held a soft expression on his face for a moment before it turned hard & he yanked my hood off with one hand. 

 

    “Who did it. Tell me,  _ now _ .” He gritted out & I swallowed nervously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry it’s short okay? i’ve been busy, but i promise a long chapter next thursday or maybe sooner. also, comment down below an unpopular opinion you have lol i’m curios.


	9. NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised bc i love u all, here’s an early chapter. don’t worry tho lol, u still get one like normal on thursday. i was just feeling generous today bc all of u r so nice & supportive. enjoy. <3

**Emma Pov.**

 

    Ethan stared at me with a hard expression, his jaw was clenched as he waited for my answer to his demanding question. He demanded who hit me. ‘Jack Dail’ would be the obvious & easy answer but with  _ Ethan _ , if I told him who it was then Jack might not ever see the light of day again. Or, Ethan wouldn’t care at all if I told him who it was since Jack is his friend.

    “ _ Emma _ . Who. Did. It.” Ethan demanded again, breaking me out of my thoughts. My mind raced, trying to find an excuse of why not to tell him the truth. “Nobody, I-uh I tripped and fell against the lockers on my way to Social Studies.” I responded, lying through my teeth & chuckling nervously. Ethan’s eyes lowered at me. “Bullshit I’m not fucking retarded, who did it?!” He said, raising his voice & making a few passing students stare at us. I raised my eyebrows as Ethan only turned his head for a second to shoot glares at a few curious students, causing them to immediately avert their eyes & keep walking. “ _ Eth _ . Calm down, okay?” I suggested, placing my hand on the side of his tense fade & turning his gaze back to me. Ethan shook his head & looked down with his jaw clenching & unclenching, as if he was having a debate in his mind. “Just tell me who it was.” I heard him grit out & I bit my lip, staying silent. Jack would most definitely kill me if somebody confronted him about pushing me around.

    “Emma.” Ethan said sternly, pleading as he lifted his head back up to look at me. I was about to deny his request again but to my shock, his grip on my arms tightened slightly. I knew he was agitated that I wouldn’t tell him who it was that hurt me, but I didn’t know that he wanted to know so badly that he was practically squeezing it out of me. “Etha–“ I started but his grip only got tighter. I made a small involuntary noise of pain & his eyes softened, but his hold didn’t waver. I could tell that he didn’t want to hurt me, but this was the only way he knew how to get something from somebody.  **Pain** .

    I felt Ethan’s already strong grip get tighter  & I tried to ignore the growing pain in my upper arms. Ethan let out a huff of frustration & was about to tighten his hold even more but I couldn’t take it. “Jack okay?! It..it was Jack.” I blurted out & he immediately loosened his hands by a lot at my response, eyes widening. “Dail?” He asked slowly, voice sounding dangerously low. I gulped, nodding hesitantly. He said nothing; just stiffened his posture, let go of me, turned around & began storming down the hall to I assume whatever class Jack had. 

    “Ethan no, stop.” I said & jogged forwards, catching up with him. I got no response from him as he pushed past students, me trailing closely behind. I grabbed onto his shoulder. “Ethan  _ no _ . You could get expelled and it’s not even really that big of a deal okay?” I pleased & he just shook my hand off from his shoulder as he continued to walk. I groaned & latched onto his left arm that didn’t have any injuries under his sleeves, trying to pull him back as he practically dragged me with him down the hallway. “Ethan!” I yelled, trying to get a response from him. I let go of his arm, standing up & walking quickly so that I was in front of him. I stopped so I was blocking his path & he halted to a stop, staring down at me. You could practically see the steam shooting out of his ears. Anger issues much?

    Ethan went to step aside & walk around me but I moved with him, not letting him get anywhere. “Ethan, listen to me.” I pleaded & he looked anywhere but at me, still trying to get around me. I lowered my eyes at him. Trying to talk him out of something was like trying to teach a fish to breathe air. Just like the two times he broke down, not listening to a word I said until I gave him a hug or showed him affection–oh. He only listened to affection because it was something he didn’t get that often & closed himself off from….well, besides the sexual affection of all those times he hooked up with random girls. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts as I still moved in front of Ethan’s attempts at escaping.

    Without further thought or hesitation, I stepped forward & wrapped my arms around Ethan’s muscular torso. I felt him tense up underneath my arms & I only hugged him tighter, trying to get some sort of...calm...reaction out of him. My stomach ached from the sudden interaction & I bit the inside of my cheek until the pain subsided slightly. “Ethan, stop. Calm down. I don’t want you getting expelled or suspended from starting a fight with Jack when it’s not even that big of a deal.” I explained, my cheek moving against the thick fabric of his hoodie as I spoke. His chest was heaving with anger & I sighed, rubbing his lower back softly. “E, please.” I said & I felt as he relaxed ever slightly under my touch. I still got no vocal response as we stood there though & it made me uncomfortable when people didn’t talk.

    I pulled away from Ethan after thinking it was safe & that he wouldn’t go attack Jack. “Ethannnn. Say something, please?” I added, feeling like he was mad at me or something because of his silence. I stared up into his dark green pools that he had for eyes & found that he was only looking anywhere but at me. My shoulders slumped in defeat, knowing that I wouldn’t get a response from him & that he probably hated me for preventing him from beating up Jack. 

    I swallowed air & clenched my jaw tightly, preventing the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. Why could I never do anything right? That’s probably why Ethan, Jack, Nash, Logan, Jake & the rest of their friend group started to push me around in the first place. And then whenever I try to fix anything, I just make it worse. Why was I put in this position? And why the hell was I so emotional?! 

    I nodding my head slowly, acknowledging that I knew he was mad at me & then walked away towards my third period. The last glance I saw of Ethan, was his eyebrows furrowing together as he glanced at me. I grabbed my notebook full of penciled-in information & trudged into Mr. Rowell’s English class, taking my seat clumsily. 

    I tried my best to pay attention to what Mr. Rowell was saying & focus on taking notes instead of becoming an emotional sack of sadness & thinking about what just happened with Ethan. My taking of notes & thinking was suddenly interrupted by the led-tip of my mechanical pencil breaking & I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath to stay calm & clicking the top of the eraser to make more led appear before returning to writing shakily.

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    Logan laughed loudly as he was pushed up against me by Nash after making a comment about the girl he had hooked up with the night before. I sat in silence as I ate the glossy red apple that sat in my bandaged hand, only watching as the guys who I called friends messed around. I glanced at Grayson who also sat in silence, eating a ham sandwich across from me. Odd. He seemed fine this morning when we ran into each other. I noticed how he kept gazing across the lunchroom at that gay fuck ‘James’ & whenever he made accidental eye contact with that faggot his eyebrows would furrow & then he would look away. Maybe that gay bitch was why Grayson was upset for some reason. I don’t know why Grayson even associates himself with him. 

    I sighed, taking the last bite of my apple & tossing it into the huge trash can near our circular table. I looked down at my covered arms & tugged at the sleeves of my hoodie, making them cover more of my wrist area. I double layered my clothes today just in case anybody decided to mess with me or something not knowing. I didn’t know how I felt about Emma being the one that found me in my weakest place. I didn’t know any of my feelings, I’m not good at shit like that. I don’t like to...feel. It just makes you weak. That’s exactly why I don’t know why I reacted the way I did when I found out Jack-fucking-Dail hit Emma. It made my skin boil when she stuttered out his name. He had no right in hell to touch her, but then again, neither did I & I was the one who started it all. 

    I’m just so confused on how I feel. Like earlier, nothing Emma said to me was clear or had me caring to stop until she...hugged me. Nobody ever  _ hugs  _ me. I’m Ethan Dolan for fucks sakes. The night that I broke down in the hallway with Emma, was the first time I had affection in years. All because of my dad, telling everybody I didn’t need it or that I was “a guy who needed to learn to suck it up and deal with it, that nobody cares how you feel and nobody wants to see it”. My father only ever said that to me though, never Grayson or my sister Cameron.

    The bell rung signaling that lunch was over & I pushed myself up from where I was seated, heading out of the lunchroom & trudging down the hallway to my next class. 

    As I looked up to watch where I was walking, I noticed the gay faggot about to walk by me. I shrugged mentally, deciding to take the anger about my unknown feelings today out on him. “Hey Gaymes, Skittles was just on the phone with me and they wanted me to tell you that they want their rainbow back.” I blurted out. A few people around us in the thin hallway laughed & whispered while James stopped for only a second to look at me with a blank expression, only to keep walking on his way. Weird. The faggot usually always has a snarky comeback or something to say. Instead, he also seemed in a down mood. 

    I let out a huff of frustration as I walked into Math class, how come everybody was in such a gloomy mood today. First Grayson, then Emma sort of & now James? Did something happen that I didn’t know about? 

    I shook off the thought as I took my seat in the back of the classroom, figuring that I’ll find out sooner or later if there is something going on.

    Hopefully.

**Emma Pov.**

 

    It was after school now & I was cursing at myself as I reluctantly drove to the Dolan’s house. To get my dumbass glasses.

    I had originally just gone home after school like normal & then I sat down on my bed to do my homework. About two minutes passed of me attempting to read the passage I was assigned for World History, before I gave up. I then searched my whole house for my missing glasses & was about to give up & just accept the bad grade, but then I remembered I had left them in Grayson’s room on his desk a few days ago. I mentally slapped myself for not remembering to take them home & grumbled as I got into my car.

    I sighed, remembering my previous actions as I turned into the Dolan’s driveway & parked where I usually did. I grabbed my keys out of the ignition & stepped out of my warm car, into the cold air as I shut the car door behind me & trotted up the few steps on their porch.

    I knocked a few timed & waited, shivering as another gust of wind blew by. The front door then opened, revealing a confused & tired looking Grayson. He was only in a pair of sweatpants & wrapped his arms around his bare torso, shivering when exposed to the cold outside air. 

    “Emma? Why are you here?” Grayson questioned as he stepped aside to let me inside. “Hey Gray,” I said, greeting him, “I was just gonna do my homework and then I remembered I left my glasses here. Mind if I go get them? They’re in your room.” I explained & Grayson just shrugged, nodding at my request before going back into the living room & flopping into a comfortable sleeping position on the leather couch. I tilted my head at his actions. He never naps or sleeps on the couch. He seemed off. 

    I decided I would talk to Grayson after I got what I came here for as I headed up the stairs to his room.

    I walked inside the dark room, flicking the light switch on & grabbing my glasses off of Grayson’s cluttered desk. I stuffed them clumsily into the pocket of my hoodie & walked back out into the hallway.

    As I passed Ethan’s room, I paused my steps for a moment. Maybe I should say hi? Ask if he was still mad at me from earlier when I stopped him from doing what he wanted? 

    I shrugged mentally & didn’t bother to knock on his already slightly opened door as I pushed it the whole way open & walked in. 

    Ethan was seated at his desk in the corner of his room, his back facing me. Once he heard the creak of the door though, he began to turn around slowly as he finished writing something. Homework I’m guessing. “Grayson, what do you want? I don’t feel like being bothered right now.” Ethan said, before he spun completely around in his chair. I gasped once I saw his face. Ethan’s eyes widened & he scrambled, yanking the item off his face & throwing it behind him. “Emma?!” He choked out.

    Ethan has glasses?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe. see u thursday. *kissy face*


	10. TEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi babes. hold onto ur wigs, there’s lots of fluff. enjoy hehe.

**Emma Pov.**

 

“W-why-uh...why are you here…?” Ethan said slowly, trailing off as he scratched the back of his neck. I blinked, still shocked that I just found out  _ Ethan Grant Dolan  _ wears  _ glasses _ . “You have glasses?!” I shrieked, not knowing what else to say. “No! They’re G-Grayson’s!” Ethan yelled & I flinched involuntarily at the tone of his voice. His face softened at my actions & he sighed, turning back around & resting his head on his hands on the desk. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell….I never  _ mean  _ to...” I heard him say, trailing off. 

    I hesitated before walking forwards so that I was standing next to where he sat in the office chair. “It’s fine, I’m just not used to….friendliness? From you?” I explained & he groaned, leaning back & sinking down farther in the chair. “I know.” He said, sighing. “I’m sorry about….earlier.” I apologized, referring to when I stopped him from doing what he wanted. Ethan cocked his head at me, his eyebrows knitting together. “What’d you do earlier?” He asked, confusion lacing his voice. My eyebrows furrowed at his question. “I didn’t let you do what you wanted,” I started & looked down at my twiddling fingers, “I thought you were mad at me.” I stated & heard Ethan let out a scoff. Well  _ shit.  _ He probably thinks I’m pathetic, judging from his reaction. 

    I bit the inside of my cheek, begging the dumbass tear in my eye not to fall. I’m so damn emotional, like  _ fuck _ .

    I faintly heard Ethan say something but I wasn’t paying attention, lost in my thoughts. What if he regrets ever being friendly to me? 

    One of the collecting tears in my eyes betrayed me, rolling down my cheek in all of its hot glory. I panicked, quickly wiping my face with my sleeve & looking back down as if nothing happened. 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    I watched as Emma hastily wiped a tear that had streaked down her face. Did I make her cry? All I said was about how I wasn’t mad at her, that she didn’t do anything wrong. 

    Emma looked back down at her fidgeting bands & my heart contracted for whatever reason . I wanted to comfort her like she did for me the past two times but….I don’t know how to comfort somebody. I’ve never done it before because nobody ever did it for me. Well, until Emma came along. 

    I took a deep breath, deciding I would just try whatever & hope for the best. I hesitantly reached my hand out, about to touch her arm but then...I chickened out & retracted my hand. 

    Emma, noticing my quick gesture, looked up at me & tilted her head. “What are you doing?” She questioned, looking at me with a dumbfounded expression. I opened my mouth to come up with an excuse, but then shut it since it would just make me look more stupid. 

    Emma cocked an eyebrow at me & I sighed. “I was trying to comfort you god dammit, but I-I….don’tknowhow.” I exaggerated, mumbling the last part quickly. “What was that last part?” She asked. She almost had a teasing tone to her voice. “I don’t know how, okay?” I groaned out, flinging my hands up slightly & looking down at my feet. 

    I heard her stifle a chuckle from above me & I glared at the floor. She thought it was dumb probably. Yes, we get it,  _ Ethan Dolan  _ doesn’t know how to make a person feel better. 

   “Ethan, look at me.” I heard her say softly & I slowly moved my head up, making involuntary eye contact with her. “Stand up.” She said, shooting me a smile when I gave a confused look at her request. “Just trust me.” She added & I nodded slowly, standing up so that I was looking down at her slightly. “Hands.” She said, holding her arms out. She gave me a reassuring nod after I paused for a moment & I inhaled, placing my large hands in her small ones. She looked down at the wrap she had previously placed on my palm & knuckles sadly for a moment before looking back up into my eyes. She took a step forward so that her face was almost touching my neck. Then she simply reached her hands behind herself, dragging mine with her & she clasped mine together before gently wrapping her arms around my neck. 

    I tensed up, not used to the feeling as much. She was giving me a hug? I didn’t know how this had to do with anything but I hesitantly accepted it, hugging her back hesitantly & resting my chin on her head. She sighed in content. 

    “That’s how you comfort somebody.” She mumbled against my hoodie. Oh. “Thank you.” I replied & felt her nod against me. 

    She went to pull away from the hug, but not knowing why, I didn’t budge & kept my arms around her. I don’t get hugs often at all & wanted this warm feeling to last I guess. 

    Emma chuckled & pressed closer to me, hugging me back again. “Ethan you know anytime you want a hug you can just ask?” She added & I shrugged. She chuckled against the fabric of my hoodie. I smiled. 

    After a few seconds, we both pulled away & Emma looked over at my desk.

**Emma Pov.**

 

    I spotted the carelessly thrown glasses on his desk & reached over, picking them up & examining them. They weren’t that nerdy, just black plastic with rounded-square-like-frames. I glanced up to see Ethan watching my actions with a clenched jaw. He clearly didn’t like  _ his  _ glasses. I’m not dumb. Grayson is my best friend, Ethan think I wouldn’t know that Gray doesn’t need glasses.

    I unfolded the glasses carefully & reached up towards Ethan’s face. He moved his head away, looking in disgust at the glasses. I lowered my eyes at him, my arms still in the air holding his glasses. He let out a frustrated sigh, mumbling curse words as he held still for me to place the glasses on his face. 

    Once they were set on Ethan’s face, he made a dumb-nerd face & pushed them up on the bridge of his nose using his pointer finger. I slapped his hand away from the poor glasses lightly & chuckled. “Why don’t you wear them at school? Do you wear contacts?” I asked & he gave me a look that said ‘are you retarded?’. “Do you know how many people would make fun of me?! And yes, I wear contacts instead mostly. But they irritate my eyes sometimes, so I just have to wing it.” He explained & I shook my head. “E, you don’t look like a nerd. Wear them if you want. At least you’ll have better grades than any of the dickwads that make fun of you.” I responded & he laughed lightly. “Whatever you say.” He said, taking the glasses off & setting them on the desk again.

    “Well as much as I would love to stay and talk, I need to go talk to your depressed brother so goodnight.” I said, smiling kindly at Ethan. He rolled his eyes. “Goodnight.” He replied & held out his arms. “One more hug goodbye?” He asked, pouting his bottom lip out like a child. What the actual fuck? Jesus, this kid gets clingy when it comes to affection. It’s like a drug to him now.

    I sighed, rolling my eyes & stepping for paused to wrap my arms around him. He returned the favor & sighed happily. I grinned against his chest. At least he seemed happy for the first time in awhile.

    After giving a hug to the needy child for a few seconds, we said our final goodbyes & I trotted out of Ethan’s room & down the stairs. I walked past the kitchen & into the living room, seeing Grayson still sleeping on the couch. His phone was in his hand as if he fell asleep while on it.

    I gently sat down next to his sleeping form & picked up his phone smoothly into my grasp. I turned it on & scanned my fingerprint, since he had let me put mine on here. When the lockscreen went away, it immediate opened up the screen to show ‘Pinterest’....& Grayson looking up depressing quotes. They weren’t specific quotes, just randomly all depressing. What the hell happened?

    I sighed sadly, shutting his phone back off & setting it aside on the couch. I placed my hand on Grayson’s bare cold shoulder & shook him lightly. “Gray, wake up.” I said softly & he didn’t move. “Grayyyy.” I sung his name a little louder, ruffling his hair. He groaned & lifted his head up, looking at me before sighing & shifting so that he was sitting up. 

    “What?” Grayson asked while yawning. “What the fuck happened, why are you all depressed and shit and why were you acting so weird this morning at school?!” I blurted out & Grayson gave me a dumbfounded expression, before grabbing his phone & going on it. “‘Dunno what you’re talking about.” He stated, scrolling through Instagram. “Bullshit.” I stated back & snatched his phone out of his hands, causing him to shriek at me. “Give it back!” He yelled. I laughed & shook my head, placing his phone under my ass & sitting on it. He glared me & cocked an eyebrow challengingly. “Your my best friend, I won’t give a shit if I have to touch your ass  _ or  _ tackle you to get my phone..you know that right?” He taunted & I lowered my eyes at him for a short moment, before he lunged forward & tackled me off of the couch. “Grayson!” I yelled playfully as my back hit the carpet, him landing on top of me. I groaned. “Get off fattass!” I shouted & shoved him off of me, standing up to lunge for his phone that was still on the couch. Before I could reach the electronic device, I felt Grayson grab my ankle & trip me. As I recovered from my fall I looked up to see that Grayson had already confiscated his phone, smirking down at me. 

    I sighed in defeat & stood up, plopping back down on the couch as Grayson took a seat next to me. “Aw, what’s wrong? Emma doesn’t like losingggg?” He said, poking me in the side of my ribcage. As much as I hated to submit to his ways, I giggled at the contact. “Shut the fuck up.” I mumbled & he laughed, before sighing & staring at the ground in relaxation. 

    We sat there in silence for a few seconds before I groaned, grabbing Grayson’s bicep & tugging on him. “Gracieeee, talk to me.” I pleaded, using the nickname the only he allows me to call him. He sighed again, turning to look at me.

    “Fine.” He said & inhaled deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my wig is in frickin asia, hbu? drop a comment if u have any requests for something u want to happen in this book, I take suggestions hehe. love u all. ;)
> 
> edit note like 2 hours later: my favorite person on here hasn’t commented her usual funny ass comment yet & im kinda sad. :(
> 
> edit after edit note like 3 mins later: now im crying like a little pussy bc my mom won’t let me buy emma’s new merch, just bc she doesn’t like emma. fun day. :/


	11. ELEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes ik it’s late at night, don’t judge me lol. enjoy? :/

**Emma Pov.**

 

    I watched silently as Grayson fidgeted with his hands. He had just explained to me about what happened last night with James & him. Honestly, I didn't know what to say. I never knew Grayson was...gay? Bi-sexual? He had never acted on anybody else like that  _ but  _ James. 

    “So….that still doesn't explain why this morning you absolutely freaked out when you saw James.” I stated & Grayson tilted his head up to look at me. “Uh-yeah I...saw a hickey on his neck and then all that happened when him and I we're drunk came back to me. I panicked, not wanting to admit that it was true. I still don't know if it is, I mean, I was drunk.” He explained & I nodded my head slowly. “Drunk actions are sober thoughts Gray.” I said quietly & his eyes widened as he shook his head. “N-no. That doesn't mean anything. That night didn't mean anything. The way my heart flutters when I'm around him doesn't me–oh shit!” He said, clasping his hand onto his mouth tightly in realization of what he just said. Well damn. Grayson Dolan likes James Charles & he doesn't even know how to admit it. “I didn't mean that I–” Grayson began but I cut him off. “Aweee, Grayson has a crushhhh.” I sang out like a second grader & he gasped, shoving his hand onto my mouth. “I do  _ not _ .” He said seriously & I raised my eyebrows at him. He actually did sound dead serious so maybe he didn't like James….or maybe he's just lying. 

    I licked Grayson's hand that was on my mouth & he yanked him arm back to wipe it hastily on his joggers. “Disgusting!” He yelled & I laughed loudly. “Yeah, okay.” I said, sarcasm dripping from my voice as I referred to him denying his crush on James. Grayson glowered at me & I chuckled. 

     I pulled my phone out of my jeans’ back pocket, looking at the time to see that I needed to get home if I wanted to actually do my homework. I sighed, clicking my phone off & shoving it back into my pocket as I looked at Grayson again.

     “Gray, as much as I would love to argue with you about how you have a fattass crush on James, I gotta go.” I said, exaggerating my sigh of sadness. Grayson glared at me before laughing. “Come here my depressed child.” I stated, pulling his large frame into my small arms for a tight hug. “No being all sad tomorrow, just talk it out with James. I miss my happy best friend.” I said & felt him laugh against me, nodding in agreement. I smiled & pulled away from the hug, standing up & shoving my ass in Grayson’s face to annoy him before walking away past the kitchen & towards the front door.

    I paused near the bottom of the staircase, having heard a few noises of irritation & curses. I raised an eyebrow, looking back into the living room at Grayson who’s eyes were attached to whatever show played in the tv. The noises didn’t come from him….? Must have been Ethan? I stepped back towards the bottom of the stairs & debated for a moment, before trodding up the stairs. 

    I walked towards Ethan’s bedroom & peaked my head inside his open door, only finding an empty room. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Where was he? 

     “Shit!” I heard somebody whisper yell & I turned around, looking in the direction of where the profanity came from. The bathroom. It was clearly Ethan’s voice. Should I go in? What if Ethan was jacking off or something? I definitely did  _ not _ want to be a witness of that. 

     I shrugged mentally, walking over to stand in front of the bathroom. “Oh my–what the hell?!” I heard him curse from the other side of the door & fought back the urge to laugh. What was he doing? I knocked on the bathroom door. “Uh, Ethan….you good?” I asked & heard a ton of shuffling behind the door. “Emma?! No! I don’t know how the fuck this shi–“ I heard him start to ramble but I cut him off. “Okay, okay. Stop cussing. That doesn’t help anything.” I stated & heard him scoff through the wooden door. “You sound like my grandma–ah hell!” He mumbled, raising his voice at the end for whatever reason & I chuckled. What the hell is he doing in there?! 

     I placed my hand onto the cold metal of the door handle. “I’m coming in.” I said, not giving him an option as I began to turn the door handle. “No wait E–“ He started but I swung the door open, confused at what I saw.

    Ethan stood there in the middle of the bathroom with the sleeves of his hoodie rolled up, all of the wrap I had put on either of his arms was now on the floor. Ethan’s arm that held all of the cuts was freshly bleeding & so was his now exposed gash on his palm, the scabs splitting open. 

     There were what looked like bandaid wrappers scattered all around the sink counter, the cap of a bottle of soap thrown carelessly into the sink & a few unraveled rolls of pure white wrap like the wrap I had used where sitting at random. 

     Ethan stood there frozen, a bottle of soap in his hand as he attempted to pour some onto his cuts. Shit. “Ethan no, don’t use that!” I panicked, knowing the soap would only make his wounds hurt worse. I snatched the bottle out of his hands & set it back onto the counter harshly. I gently grabbed his arm in my one hand, quickly grabbing the towel hanging from its holder above the sink. “What the hell are you trying to do?!” I asked, applying the towel to his arm & soaking up the blood. Ethan sighed, shrugging. “I was trying to change these itchy ass bandages,” he said while gesturing towards the wrap on the floor, “but I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’ve never done this shit before.” He explained & I nodded slowly, processing this information. “Well first of all, never use pure soap to clean any sort of cut or whatever. It’ll sting like hell and do nothing helpful. Always use rubbing alcohol or hydrogen peroxide.” I stated & he nodded, wincing slightly when I removed the towel’s pressure from his arm to lean down & look under the sink for hydrogen peroxide. 

     I pushed a few of the many toiletries around under the cluttered sink & finally found at least some rubbing alcohol. That would work. 

     I snatched it up & stood up straight, picking up the towel that I had previously. I unscrewed the cap of the rubbing alcohol & put the towel over the opening of the bottle, dunking it upside down until there was a good amount of the cleansing liquid coating it. I set the bottle down on the counter next to the sink & turned to look at Ethan again, soaked towel in hand. I reached out with my free hand & softly grabbed his scarred arm, turning it over & glancing at his honey eyes for a second before lightly pressing the soaking towel against the cuts. Ethan hissed through his teeth, biting his lip at the contact. I sighed, patting the towel all around his arm as to clean every single wound. Ethan just watched me silently.

    Once I was done with cleaning his arm, I moved onto his deeply wounded hand. Now  _ this  _ would hurt like a fucking bitch because of how deep the razor he had held cut. 

     “This is gonna hurt.” I mumbled, looking up at his face to search for a response. Ethan sighed hesitantly, spreading out his palm slowly for my access. I folded the towel in my hands so that it was open to a clean area on the crimson stained piece of fabric & applied more rubbing alcohol to it. I gently held the top of Ethan’s injured hand face up & glanced at his wavering eyes. He knew it was gonna hurt. 

     I paused, thinking for a moment & removing my hand from holding his injured one to grab his other arm & place it onto my own arm. I spread out his fingers & clasped his hand around my arm like a bracelet. “What are you doing?” He asked, looking between us at my actions. “Just squeeze my arm to focus on something else other than the pain.” I said & softly grabbed his now bleeding again hand, dabbing it with the dry part of the towel to soak up the strawberry-colored liquid. I felt Ethan’s hand that was in my arm loosen extremely. “What? No. I’m not hurting you anymore, I already feel like a piece of shit just for the past few year–AH FUCKING SHIT!” Ethan yelled as I began to clean the deep cut while he was distracted. I chuckled to myself as I caught him off guard. His hand clasped tightly around my arm subconsciously & he let out a stream of curse words. 

     “Can you guys shut the fuck up & stop fucking around so loudly while I’m watching my show?!” I heard Grayson yell from downstairs & I laughed at him, applying more pressure onto the towel making Ethan wince. I then moved away the now alcohol & blood soaked towel being satisfied that the wound was clean, causing his shoulders to slump in relief.

    Ethan looked down at his handing gripping my arm & as if realization hit him, his eyes widened & he tore away his arm. “Fuck, see what you made me do.” He mumbled, groaning & grabbing my arm gently where there were now bright red marks from where he gripped me in pain. I didn’t pay any attention, turning around to grab a roll of the white wrap the best I could while he still cradled my arm in his non-wounded hand. I successfully acquired the pasty fabric roll & moved back to face a still worried Ethan who was repeatedly running his fingers over the marks on my arm. Why was he worried so much? It not like I wasn’t used to it. I was too focused on the task at hand to care much about what had happened. 

     I cradled his hurt hand gently as I wrapped it with new & clean gauze wrap, taping it off when it was at a good length with medical tape. I rubbed my thumb over his wrapped hand gently, also looking at his now healed knuckles. They were only slightly bruised. I dropped his hand back to his side & turned to look down at Ethan’s stressed out expression as he examined my arm, turning it over with his wounded arm. “Ethan, it’s fine. I promise.” I stated & gently tugged his unwilling arm away from mine, beginning to wrap it. “I’m used to it anyway.” I mumbled, thinking about it as I continued to roll his arm in the soft fabric. Ethan’s posture slumped further down. “You shouldn’t be.” He stated sadly, looking down at himself. “Sorry.” He added. I ripped off a piece of the medical tape using my teeth & taped the wrap. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know how else to deal with your bottled up emotions.” I explained, looking around his arm to make sure I wrapped it well. I did & dropped his arm back to his side. 

    “Do you get how to do it now?” I asked Ethan changing the subject, gesturing down at his wrapped arms that he was now pulling his sleeves over again. “I think so. I don’t know how you’re so good at this shit though.” Ethan said, chuckling lightly & shaking his head as he looked at me. I shrugged, laughing lightly as well. “Practice I guess?” I suggested & his smile faltered for a moment before returning back to normal. I stared at his softened eyes for a moment.

    “Okay, well I have to go. See you tomorrow.” I said, remembering about my homework. Ethan nodded & I smiled at him before turning around to walk out of the bathroom & into the hallway. “Wait uh..Emma?” I heard Ethan say & I stopped in my tracks, turning to look at him. “Yeah?” I hummed, making a confused look as he rubbed his arm self-consciously almost. “Can I..have a hug before you go?” He asked quietly & I smiled, remembering how affection-starved he was now that I resurfaced it in him. I nodded & stepped towards him, pressing my body against his & wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me back in a tight, comfy way & I felt his bright smile against my shoulder.

    After the slightly lingering hug & Ethan wanting yet another hug after I pulled away, we said our goodbyes & I left out the front door. 

    I got into my car & out the key into the ignition, revving up the engine & placing my hands on the steering wheel. I sighed as I pulled out of the Dolan’s driveway, feeling good that I at least might have fixed Grayson’s problem & helped Ethan out. 

    As the song ‘when the party’s over’ by Billie Eilish began to play off of my playlist that was hooke duo to the radio of my car, I thrummed my fingers against the steering wheel. My car slowed to a stop at the stoplight as I applied pressure to the brake pedal. I thought about how funny it is that I’m fixing both of the twins in their own ways. Grayson’s confused with his feelings & Ethan’s way more broken of course, but hides it behind mask. The bright light turned green in front of me & I pressed the gas pedal, slowly catching speed as I hummed to the song.

  
    “ _ Tore my shirt to stop you bleeding,”  _ I sang out along with the recording, Ethan oddly on my mind as those lyrics flowed through the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IK ITS SHORT BUT I DONT WANNA HEAR U COMPLAIN BC GUESS WHAT??
> 
> *dramatic pause*
> 
> A CHAPTER WILL BE POSTED EARLY THIS WEEK BEFORE NORMALLY ON THURSDAY & THEN ALSO ON THURSDAY!!
> 
> u spoiled children. ily too much. bye bye for now my chickies. <3


	12. TWELVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE BITCHES ITS UR SURPRISE CHAPTER I PROMISED!!  
> btw hold onto ur wigs,, it’s a bumpy ride on this one.  
> enjoy. :))

**Emma Pov.**

 

    It was the next morning & I took a long sip of my iced almond milk latte I had made this morning. I was currently sitting in my car in the school parking lot, not wanting to go outside & into the cold air. I was a little early anyway. I snuggle further into the faded pink hoodie I was wearing & sigh, putting my now empty drink into the cup holder of the car. 

    I looked up from my phone, stopping my scrolling through my Instagram feed to look out the windows of my car as students passed by. I watched as this one slender looking guy walked by with his hood up, his posture seeming oddly familiar. I sat up in the seat & tried to get a better look at the mysterious guy. Then he turned his head in my direction for a moment & my stomach lurched. It was Jack Dail….but you could barely tell that by his bludgeoned face. What the fuck?! Who would have–Ethan. He didn’t.

    My eyes widened in realization & I yanked the keys out of the ignition, grabbing my backpack off of the passenger's seat & opening the car door to step out in the frosty air. It was getting colder each day as the beautiful autumn season neared the harsh winter. I shoved my hands along with my keys in the pocket of my hoodie & walked quickly into the school, shoving the main doors open.

    I glanced around the hallway, scanning around for that inky-haired feisty kid. My eyes then landed on him, leaning against his locker wearing a thick grey hoodie as he ruffled through his backpack looking for something. I lowered my eyes & jogged over to him. Once I reached him I smacked his shoulder with mild lower & he turned to look at me.

    “Ethan! What the hell did you do?” I whisper yelled & Ethan looked as if he was thinking for a moment, before opening his mouth. “He deserved it.” Was all he said & I scoffed. “Still, Ethan, you could get suspended now if Jack tells the principal and I told you it’s  _ nothing _ .” I explained, causing Ethan to turn his head sharply towards me & move closer. “It is  _ not _ . _ Nothing _ . He had no fucking right to do anything of the sort to you.” He stated, poking a finger at me lightly right above my chest. His jaw was clenched  & that hard look was back in his eyes, staring to breathe heavy with anger. If I really looked at his cold eyes, I could tell that he was indeed wearing contacts. I guess I just never gave a shit before so I never noticed. I sighed in defeat, reaching up my hand to gently stroke the side of his face. “Okay, calm down, E.” I said softly & rubbed the skin on his cheek until his features softened completely, weak at the affection.

    “Just say sorry to him, please?” I asked & Ethan pursed his lips together tightly, before rolling his eyes & sighing. “Fine.” He muttered, slamming his locker shut after grabbing his folder for Spanish. I dropped my hand from his face & was about to walk to Spanish when I felt Ethan tug on the sleeve of my hoodie. I turned to him with a confused expression, wondering what he wanted. He just pulled my arm back over to him gently & pushed the sleeve of my hoodie up suddenly, examining my arm that had extremely faint red prints from yesterday. 

    “Do they hurt?” Ethan asked quietly, running his finger over the tainted skin on my arm. I gently grabbed his wrist & pulled him off of my arm, pushing my sleeve back down into place. “No Ethan, they don’t. I told you it’s fine, it was my decision to let you use me as a pain reliever. Not yours.” I stated & he just shook his head slowly, still staring at my sleeve that was by my side. “Okay, to Spanish we go.” I announced, hearing the bell ring. He nodded & walked by my side in a comfortable silence to our first hour. 

    Having Spanish for first hour really drags on, especially when the teacher is all snobby & Hispanic. But I got through it, now walking towards my locker to trade out my Spanish folder with my notebook for social studies instead. 

    I turned my lock code smoothly on the cold-metaled door, opening it as it creaked. I tossed my Spanish folder in my backpack & grabbed my notebook for my next class, slamming the rusty door shut to head towards the classroom that was full of history. 

    On the way to my second period though, I had to go to the bathroom. I felt like I was about to piss my pants. Damn iced almond milk latte. I sighed, turning to look up at the small clock on the hallway wall & noticing that I had around three minutes to take my little bathroom break. I took it & practically ran into the bathroom that was a few feet away, dropping my notebook outside against the wall to wait. I rushed into a stall & locked it shut behind me, relief flooding through me.

    After doing my business, I flushed the toilet & walked over to one of the porcelain sinks to begin washing my hands in the warm, soapy water. I glanced up at my reflection in the dirty mirror & made sure my foundation on Jack’s bruise he cause yesterday was keeping it covered. It was. 

    A few seconds passed & I shut off the faucet of running water, grabbing a few paper towels & hastily drying my hands. I walked out of the bathroom & bumped into somebody on accident, too busy looking down at the water droplets left on my slim hands. I heard the person scoff & I looked up to see who it was. Meredith.

    “What’s a little whore like you doing in here sweety? Looking for another taken guy to fuck?” Meredith spat & my eyebrows furrowed. How did she know about Ethan & I on the night of the messed up party? “And yes, I do know what happens. Your little boy toy would tell me everything when we were dating.” Meredith continued & I sighed. “You should talk, all you ever do is fuck guys left and right. All for your own pleasure. You never think about a guy’s feelings, just fuck, have a fake relationship as you fuck other guys & then leave them.” I stated, glaring at the bitch. Her lip curled up into a snarl & she was about to say something but I pushed past her to leave to my second class. 

    I felt Meredith grab me by the hood of my hoodie & dragged me back so my back hit the tiled wall of the bathroom. “I’m not done with you bitch.” She growled our & I swallowed. Sure, we were both girls but she is  _ way _ more nasty & more of a fighter than me. “You’re a fucking cunt,” She started & slapped me across the face harshly, “I leave Ethan for one fucking second and you gotta go and take him. Well guess what? You aren’t even his type, I am. He’ll never like you back slut.” She explained, getting closer to my face as I held my cheek. Why was I always getting fucking hit?! “First of all you fake ass hoe, I don’t even like Ethan! I’m his fucking friend because nobody else but me seems to give a shit about him if he’s not fucking them!” I stated & she glared at me. “You lying whore! Shut the fuck up!” She raised her voice, punching me in the stomach & making me double over. I spit out the small amount of blood that raised up in my throat. “I’m not fucking lying bitch! If you want him back so badly then take him. It’s not like he’s mine you fucking idiot.” I said lowly. How was this my problem? “I said shut the fucking hell up! I’ll take him back once you’re out of my way!” She said, raising her voice. I was about to look up at make a snarky remark but she grabbed my head & forced it to come down onto her knee harshly. My vision spotted for a moment & I fell onto the floor, feeling like I just got a concussion. “I’m not in your goddamn way. Jesus fucking Christ, when will you realize what I’m trying to fucking tell you?! I. Don’t. Like. Him. Like that.” I whispered, loud enough so that she could hear but quiet enough that I wouldn’t give myself a bigger headache. “Yeah, and I’m supposed to fucking trust you why?” She said maliciously & I blinked lazily, my vision blurry as my head pounded. I shut my eyes for a split second.

    Then I suddenly felt a hand squeezing my jaw very hard & I shot my eyes open to see Meredith bending down in front of me while grinning. “Just know this, if you don’t get out of my fucking way….I’ll have somebody do something to you that will make you.” She threatened & I was about to responded through my raging headache but she yanked my head forward by her grip & then slammed my skull back against the wall behind me. 

    The last thing I saw was Meredith standing up & then my vision went black as I felt myself sinking further against the tiled floor.

**James Pov.**

 

    I sighed sadly, sinking down further into my uncomfortable chair. Second period would be over in around two minutes but I couldn’t stop thinking about Grayson & what happened yesterday. All I did was walk up to Emma & him to talk but he pushed me away & ran from me. He hasn’t talked to me since & I don’t fucking know why. I thought we really connected the night before at the bar, could’ve just been the alcohol that was talking though. But I think I might have feelings for him that I don’t want to admit. I mean I always joke about him being ‘hot’ or ‘daddy material’ but, I never really meant it. 

    Grayson avoiding me has actually been affecting me in many ways that are noticeable in my appearance as other students have been pointing out. Since I feel like a sad piece of shit, that’s exactly what I look like; no makeup, floppy hair, baggy hoodie & fucking sweatpants. I don’t know why Grayson not talking to me is affecting me though. But I still wondered what I did wrong?

    The bell rung, letting out class & I got up from my seat slowly while grabbing my binder. I also grabbed my notebook before walking out the door of the classroom, heading into the busy hallway. I made my way through the maze of students & hastily threw my personal belongings into my locker, having to use the restroom. I trudged towards the closest bathrooms & stood outside of them for a second. Should I go into the boys or girls bathroom? Well I am gay. I also don’t wanna risk running into Grayson since he’s mad at me for some reason. 

    I sighed, running into the girls bathroom as the urge to piss became very prominent. I barely watched where I was going, running into one of the small blue stalls & quickly locking the stall door behind me. 

    After I was relieved of my business, I flushed the porcelain toilet by its small metal handle & opened the stall door. I started to walk towards the few sinks but almost shit bricks at what I saw laying on the dusty-tiled floor of the bathroom. Emma?! 

    I quickly ran the short distance over to Emma & kneeled beside her, picking her up onto my lap by her pink-hoodie-covered shoulders. She had an extremely bloody & bruised nose that looked almost broken, along with very prominent scratches on the side of her face that looked almost like nail marks & some dried blood on her bottom lip & chin. I was a little sister-scared to even see what wounds might be hidden under her hoodie. 

    I shook Emma’s still form frantically. “Emma!” I said & her eyelids fluttered. “Emma, come on wake up!” I pleaded & she slowly blinked her eyes open. She frowned & tried to sit up but then winced, grabbing her stomach & laying back down on my lap. What the hell happened?! 

    “Emma who did this to you?!” I asked worriedly, shaking her again as her eyes were threatening to close once again. She kept them open, eyebrows knitting together. “Meredith?” She replied, sounding like she was almost asking herself. I glared at nothing, thinking about that bitch. Meredith. I’d only heard a little about her, considering I was fairly new to this school. All I knew was that she dumped Ethan after being his fuck buddy for a long time, even though she fucked many other people while being with him. I was gonna sister-slit her throat. Why the fuck would she do this to Emma? Sweet, innocent Emma. 

    I looked back down at Emma who was now fully awake but still seemed out of it. She probably got a concussion somehow. I gently grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her with me as I stood her up. She stumbled & was about to fall but I caught her, wrapping her arm around my shoulder & my hand around her slender waist. Killing Meredith could wait, right now Emma needed to get to the nurse's office or something. 

    “Come on, we gotta get you to the nurse’s office Em.” I stated & began to walk out of the bathroom as she leaned her full weight on me, which wasn’t much at all. She shook her head weakly as we walked. “No..wanna go home.” She whispered & I sighed. I don’t know where the fuck she lives. And it’s not like I could ask her when she’s acting like this. I couldn’t just take her home & leave her there either–“Emma?!” I heard somebody yell, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

    I looked up to see Grayson running towards us. I swallowed the lump of air in my throat. “What the fuck happened?!” Grayson asked, looking sadly at Emma & attempting to brush a strand of hair out of her face but she just flinched away subconsciously. “I don’t know, I walked into the bathroom to see her lying on the floor knocked out. She said something about Meredith when I asked who did this to her.” I explained & Grayson clenched his jaw when he heard that it was Meredith who caused this. He stepped closer to us. “Give her to me, I’ll take her home since I know where she lives.” He said, holding his arms out & I nodded as I gently unwrapped her arm from around my shoulders. She collapsed into his arms & flinched, groaning as he picked her up bridal style. She kept her head up & didn’t put her arms around his neck like normal though, as if she didn’t trust him or something. He sighed. 

    “Thanks.” Grayson said awkwardly & I nodded, looking anywhere but at him. “Look, James I–“ He began, but somebody cut him off by yelling. “Emma?!” Grayson & I turned our heads to see Ethan once standing in the middle of the hallway, now running towards us. Emma turned her head lazily as well, seeming to not know what was happening. Her nose started bleeding again slightly. 

    “What the hell fucking happened?!” Ethan yelled & Grayson explained to him exactly what I had said before. Ethan’s posture stiffened at the mention of Meredith’s name & his hands that rested at his sides clenched into fists. 

    “That fucking bitch! I’m gonna fucking shove my hand down her throat & turn her esophagus into a fucking trumpet!” Ethan yelled & turned on his heel, scanning the hallways for Meredith. He spotted her chatting with one of her fellow minions & began to storm towards her. 

    “Ethan?” Emma said weakly, sounding so small. Ethan immediately stopped in his tracks & turned to look at Emma with a softer expression. A tear slid down Emma’s cheek & she looked so hurt it made me wanna sister-sob. “E.” Emma said again, voice cracking as if she was calling out for him. She was so out of it. Ethan looked drawn between either beating Meredith’s ass or comforting Emma who was now looking like she was about to breakdown in Grayson’s arms. 

    Ethan sighed, jogging back over to Grayson & holding his slightly-less muscular arms out just as the bell rung. Yes, both twins were muscular but Grayson a little bit more than Ethan. 

    Grayson looked hesitant for a moment at Ethan’s silent request but after looking down at how broken Emma looked, he gave in & handed her small figure over to his older brother. Ethan held her the same way that Grayson was, except now Emma buried her face into his hoodie & wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as she cried silently. “Shh, it’s okay….you’re okay.” Ethan said softly, stroking her hair almost hesitantly. He looked like he had no idea what he was doing. “It hurts.” I heard her mumble against Ethan’s hoodie in between quiet sobs as she was most likely referring to her nose. “Imma take her home.” Ethan announced quietly & Grayson & I nodded. 

    The tardy bell rung & we realized there were no other students but us in the hallway. Ethan just turned with a broken Emma in his arms, walking towards the main entrance doors of the school. I turned my gaze away from them & to Grayson instead, who was already staring at me. He looked like he something to say, but he just turned around & walked away to the direction of his next class. 

    I sighed in defeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *wig has left the chat*  
> lyyyy. <3


	13. THIRTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi,, enjoy. :)

**Ethan Pov.**

 

After stopping at ‘Rite Aid’ for random medical supplies that I might need on the way to the hospital & trying my best to deal with the hysterical-crying aftermath of ‘leaving me to die alone in the car’ as Emma put it, we were finally at the hospital. I was gonna take her to the emergency room. Emma’s nose wouldn’t stop bleeding which made me worry & she had no clue where she was or what she was doing. She only knew that I was with her. The concussion she received had clearly taken an affect on her.

    I sighed, turning the key in the ignition all the way until the car stopped rumbling & looked over at Emma who sat silently crying in the passenger's seat while holding her nose shakily. She barely even knew what was happening. Fucking Meredith. If it weren’t for Emma saying my name like that then….I don’t even know if Meredith would be alive. And I don’t know why I feel that way either. 

    “It’s okay, come on let’s get you inside.” I said softly as possible to Emma as I got out of the car & walked over to her side. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. I don’t know how to  _ comfort  _ somebody. Sure, Emma taught me that hugging helps but that’s about fucking all. 

    I opened Emma’s car door to reveal her crying self. You could barely even see the bottom of her nose with all the blood pooling there, dripping onto her shaking hand as well. “E.” She cried out, holding out her arms. She also looked like she had no idea what she was doing. I hesitated before leaning down so I wouldn’t hit my head on the top of the car & wrapped my arms around her, picking her up into my embrace. I held her up against me by keeping my hands on her lower-back, not wanting to grab her ass because that’s just wrong. Speaking of which, I just now realized that I surprisingly haven’t hooked up with anyone for the past few weeks. I kicked the car door shut & began walking quickly towards the emergency room drop-off entrance. 

    Emma buried her tear-stained face carefully into my already stained hoodie & winced when her nose touched the fabric, a little more blood soaking into the cloth. “It hurts.” I heard her mumble brokenly against my chest & I picked up my pace. “I know, you’re gonna be okay I promise.” I stated, holding her closer. In all the times of when I used to...hurt..her, I had never done this much damage. I wanted to strangle Meredith, again, not knowing why.

    I rushed through the emergency room doors & yelled for assistance, catching a few nurses attention as they ran over to us. “What happened?” A nurse with straight blonde hair asked as I sat Emma down on the metal bed, causing Emma to make a small noise of resistance & keep her arms tightly around my neck. 

    “She uh-fell down the stairs and I think she might’ve broken her nose and gotten a concussion.” I lied, knowing that if I told the truth then the police would possibly get involved & it would just be a huge mess. “Okay,” The nurse said while bending down next to Emma, “hey sweetie.” The nurse cooed & as I tried to pull away & give her space, but Emma shook her head & kept her grip on me. “No, don’t leave me please!” She cried out with her eyes shut & I looked at the nurse for support who was already taking out a flashlight, not paying attention. I sighed, accepting defeat & sat down next to Emma on the hard table. 

    I kept my hands in my lap & Emma removed her tightening arms from around neck, putting one hand in her lap & one gripping my covered arm fearfully as the nurse told her to follow the flashlight’s light with her eyes. I watched as Emma’s dazed & tear-drawn blue eyes lazily followed the trail that the flashlight made & the nurse nodded to herself, clicking the flashlight off & writing something down on her clipboard. 

    “She definitely has a concussion and since it seems to be affecting her actions a lot, it would be best if we just put her to sleep until she wakes up naturally. Then while she’s asleep, we’ll fix up her nose which appears to be possibly broken. Just to make sure she doesn’t move around too much & mess up her nose even more.” The nurse explained, looking me dead in the eyes as I nodded. I heard Emma’s breath hitch though & she gripped my arm extremely tightly as I looked over at her. “I don’t wanna go to sleep, what if I never wake up?” She questioned, her voice cracking as she slurred her voice & more tears rolling down her blood-stained face. “Hey, you’ll be alright. You’re only gonna sleep for a little bit.” I promised, trying my best to comfort her. “You promise you’ll be there when I wake up?” She asked, sounding small. Salty tears ran down onto her nose, stinging against the open wound. “I promise, Em.” I stated, looking into her watery eyes. She nodded sadly, seeming slightly unsure.

    The nurse then walked over holding the needle for the IV that would put Emma to sleep. Emma looked with wide eyes at the nurse’s sharp object in her hand as she stepped closer & let out a noise before jumping into my lap & hiding her face in my shirt to cry, now straddling me & wincing as her nose smashed against my chest. My arms levitated in the air, hesitant. I didn’t know what the fuck to do. She was like a fucking koala bear the way she was holding onto me, what the fuck was I supposed to do?!  _ Jesus _ , I need to stop cursing when I get anxious. 

    The nurse was now right infront of us & she sighed with a sad smile, holding out her hand for Emma’s arm I assumed. I gently & cautiously unwrapped her right arm from me, placing it into the nurse’s cold hand which made Emma flinch. “Don’t, please don’t. No, no, no.” Emma cried into my hoodie beginning to turn around & look at what the nurse was doing. I immediately wrapped my right arm around her waist & placed my left hand behind her head, pushing her against me comfortingly so she wouldn’t see what the nurse was doing. She pushed against my chest weakly. “Eth no don’t let her, please!” She pleaded & I clenched my jaw, trying my best to block her cried out. I watched as the nurse flipped Emma’s arm over, squeezing the inner crease of her elbow. The nurse held up the thin needle & just like that the sharp object was now in Emma’s arm, pumping the drowsy liquid into her veins. Emma was clearly trying to fight it, not knowing what was happening as her attempts to escape my grip slowly got weaker. “E, no…” She trailed off brokenly, before I felt her body go limp against me.

    I carefully stood up, picking Emma up with me to then lay her back down gently onto the uncomfortable metallic table. The blonde nurse sighed, rummaging around in a few drawers of the counter as she grabbed a bunch of different & confusing medical objects. I looked down at the bleeding Emma, sleeping seemingly peacefully. My fist clenched, just thinking about the situation we were in again & how it’s all Meredith’s fault. You know, I was truly heartbroken when I found out Meredith seriously cheated on me with Cameron  since I did actually feel a small something for her. Even though Meredith & I would fuck around with other people as we dated, it was never serious & it was always us in the end & I think that’s why I liked her. She was always my light at the end of the tunnel. Now she’s the fucking darkness that surrounds people & tortures them until she gets her way.

    “You may wait out in the waiting room if you’d like, this room is about to be more crowded while we fix your friend’s nose up. I’ll call you in when she wakes up.” The nurse suggested & I nodded slowly, giving Emma’s sleeping form one last lingering look before turning around & heading out into the chilling air of the waiting room.

**Emma Pov.**

 

I shot my eyes open only for them to be greeted by a stinging bright light. I squinted my eyes, blinking a few times before being able to see. What the fuck happened?! The last thing I remember was getting...knocked out in the bathroom by Meredith. I glanced around the room I was in & realized that it was an emergency room, nurses rushing around & not noticing me being awake. My eyes felt puffy as if I had been crying. My nose hurt too a little for whatever reason. Why? What? How….? I had so many questions. 

    I began to sit up in the cotton bed that I was on, catching a strictly pretty nurse’s attention & she rushed over to the sid elf the cot. “Oh, you’re awake. How’re you feeling?” The blonde haired nurse asked & I shrugged. “My nose kinda hurts I guess.” I responded & she nodded her head, taking in that piece of information. “After cleaning you up, we found out that your nose is gladly not broken but you’ll still need to keep the butterfly tape on it for tonight just to keep it in place for a little bit since it’s quite sensitive at the moment.” She explained & I nodded slowly, reaching my arm up to feel the piece of tape on my nose gently. I winced internally as I did figure out that it was sensitive right now by touching it. 

    There was a tugging on my arm & I looked down at it with horror when I saw the IV stabbed in one of my inner veins, a faint bruise tainting the skin around the needle. I panicked slightly. I always hated needles. I tugged at the tube slightly, wanting it off. “Oh I forgot about that, let me take it out for you sweetie.” The nurse cooed & I almost forgot she was still standing there until she spoke out. I watched as the blonde haired lady took the pieces of tape off my arm & smoothly pulled the thin needle out. I cringed, retracting my arm & holding it close against myself as I pulled my sleeve down. I sat up fully now, pulling my knees against myself as I thought. I felt alone. I could only remember a few things that happened up until now & I wished I couldn’t, from what I remember it was extremely embarrassing. If I think hard enough, I think all I did was cry & hold onto somebody but I don’t remember who. I was basically just acting loopy from what I remember. I also remember somebody saying that I was acting that way because of the concussion I recieved. Makes sense sort of, Meredith knocked me out good.

    “I’ll be right back to get your friend and then you’re free to go after you sign some papers.” The nurse suddenly stated & my eyebrows furrowed as she walked out of the room. Friend? What friend? Must be the somebody I remember holding onto & not leaving alone. I sighed in embarrassment again, hoping,  _ praying  _ that it wasn’t anybody that would hate me. I rested my chin on my knees as I waited. I leaned back for a second, looking down at my hoodie I was wearing only to see a few blood drops stained into it. Probably from my nose? I shrugged mentally & placed my chin back onto my knees. I heard a few footsteps & talking outside of the emergency room’s door & my eyes flickered nervously at the metal door. Then the blonde nurse walked in with that somebody. Ethan. 

    My breath hitched as the nurse & Ethan walked over towards me, Ethan looking at me with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Great. Ethan probably thought I was retarded earlier & was probably annoyed with the fact that I was stuck on him like a tattoo when I was out of it. 

    “Hey, you’re awake..” Ethan said suddenly, now standing right next to the cot I was on. “Hey.” I responded quietly. Ethan just stared at me, looking me up & down as if he was analyzing me. “What happened?” I asked quietly & she moved his gaze to my questioning eyes. “James found you passed out on the bathroom floor and brought you to Grayson, then I took you from him and brought you here. You had a major concussion and were acting weird, also your nose wouldn’t stop bleeding.” He explained & I nodded slowly, getting shivers at the statement ‘I took you from him’. “Can I go home?” I questioned & he started to nod but then his head shook around weirdly, seeming unsure. “You sure you wanna be alone?” Ethan asked, referring to the fact that I just got beat up & was now recovering. “Yeah, I’ll be fine E. I just feel like sleeping.” I said sweetly, trying not to sound rude. He nodded slowly, looking almost slightly worried as I yawned. “Alright, then let’s get you home.” He said & I gave him a small smile, moving my legs away from my body & so my feet were touching the floor. I got up from the cot & immediately lost my balance, falling face forward until muscular arms caught me. Must be the effects of having a concussion not too long ago. I groaned, annoyed at myself. I just wanted to sleep. I felt embarrassed, tired, confused & kinda stressed out honestly. 

    Ethan pulled me up, in his gentle but strong hold & looked into my eyes for a second. I looked back into his melting emerald eyes & relaxed slightly, his gaze already calming me & making me feel better. I didn’t know why. 

    I was about to pull away from him to try & walk again but he suddenly tucked his other arm under my knees & picked me up bridal style all in one smooth motion. I yelled st the sudden action & shook my head, looking up at him & trying to get out of his hold. “Ethan put me down, I can walk.” I whined & Ethan just looked down at me, cocking an eyebrow almost sarcastically & tightening his grip on me so I couldn’t escape as he carried me out of the busy room. I sighed, giving up & just leaning my head against his chest. 

    The slight swaying of my body as Ethan carried me was adding to my drowsiness & before I knew it, I was snuggling my face into his soft hoodie that was stained with my blood I’m assuming. My eyelids fluttered shut & I slowly began to lose consciousness, falling asleep to the sound of Ethan’s steady & comforting heartbeat in my ear.

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    My eyebrows furrowed in frustration as somebody killed me in ‘Fortnite’ & I groaned, throwing the controller a few feet away from me in anger. Fucking scrubs. I had just dropped a sleeping Emma back off at her house a few hours ago, placing her sleeping form in her bed so she would be comfortable. Her dad hadn’t been home which I was thankful for, not wanting to have to explain to him what happened to his daughter.

    I sighed, rubbing my tired eyes. I was thirsty. I stood up from my pitch black gaming chair & walked towards the closed door of my room. I placed my large hand on the metal handle, turning it & pushing the door open to walk out into the hallway. I dragged my feet as I began to walk down the hallway, feeling tired myself. Suddenly my hair was being grabbed & I winced as I was harshly yanked into the room I recognized as my father’s little office room, the door slamming shut behind me….us. My father.

    I turned to look at my father & he looked mad, I mean, what’s new? I watched with a lump in my throat as he pushed the sleeves of his dress shirt up to his elbows, looking at me with a malicious expression. I went to back away, not wanting anything to happen to me tonight. But my father stepped forward quicker than me & kneed me in the stomach, causing me to cough sharply & bend over in pain. “You’re so pathetic.” I heard my father spat & I winced internally. “Why me?” I whispered, mainly to myself but of course the devil heard me. He laughed, the noise sounding dry of humor. “You wonder why I hit you? To give you a purpose. You’re how I take all my anger out. I’m doing you a favor. Without me your nothing, just a stupid fucking depressed kid with that nobody loves.” He explained bluntly, applying two hard punches to my rib cage. I yelped in pain, both emotional & physical. 

    ‘ _ Nobody cares about you. _ ’ My father's words continued to play through my head as he continued to hit me. Emma at least  cares right….I think. “Not even your own fucking brother gives a shit about you, anybody who you think cares about you,” My father started as he made quotation symbols with his hands, “doesn’t. They’re only pretending because they feel sorry for somebody as fucking stupid as you.” He finished, kicking me in the shin again. It was like he read my mind about thinking Emma cared. Does she really just feel sorry for me? Grayson doesn’t give a shit about me, my father was right. Nobody loves me & they never will. What the fuck is wrong with me?! Thinking that anybody cared.

    I felt another harsh blow to my left pec & looked up with my eyes squinting as my father reeled his hand back again. Then suddenly his phone’s ringtone started to ring throughout the room & he seemed to debate with himself for a moment before lowering his hand back to his side. I relaxed ever so slightly & my father sighed, walking over to his small desk & answering the needy phone. I took advantage of his business call & darted out of the office as quickly as I could, locking myself in the bathroom. I sighed, leaning my head against the wooden door in exhaustion. Why me?

    I moved away from the wooden structure & sadly began to strip my clothes, looking in the mirror at the dark red marks already beginning to form around my abdomen. I stripped the rest of my clothes off, as well as the bandages on my arms & walked over to the shower, turning the faucet on & continuing to turn it until it felt hot enough. I pulled the metal plug & the water redirected itself from the tub faucet, now shooting out of the shower head. I stepped inside the already cloudy area, pulling the curtain shut behind me as hot water began to roll soothingly down my scarred body. It felt like I forgot to do something before getting into the shower but I ignored the feeling, the sadness in my mind overpowering that feeling.

    After my scalding hot shower with scalding hot tears running silently down my face, I dried off & got dressed before making a beeline for my room. I sighed sadly, wiping my eyes that felt irritated for whatever reason. Probably from crying. I flopped onto my bed & snuggled under the thick covers, falling asleep almost as fast as my head hit the pillow. Sadness the only thing keeping me company as I drifted away into a deep slumber. 

**Grayson Pov.**

 

    I woke up with a gasp, having been awoken by the sound of a scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind door*  
> *angry crowd rushes towards me*  
> *shrieks*  
> I’m sorry ik it’s short & I left u with a cliffhanger but ehhhh. lyyyyyyyyyyyyy. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo. <3


	14. FOURTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey bebes. enjoy my bootiful humans. <3

**Grayson Pov.**

 

I sat up in my warm bed for a second, waiting. I had just been woken up to the sound of a scream & it sounded like it came from Ethan. I didn’t hear anymore noises. Maybe he just stubbed his toe or something? I reached for my phone & clicked the power button, the light illuminating off the five inch screen & lighting up my room with a dim glow. It was 5:24 a.m. The fuck? How could Ethan stub his toe at five in the morni—“AHHHH!” Another scream erupted from down the hallway & I scrambled out of my bed, tossing my phone carelessly into the pocket of my hoodie as I sprinted down the hall to Ethan’s room.

 

    I burst through Ethan’s closed bedroom door & flicked the light on, revealing Ethan who was sitting on the edge of his bed with his head in his bands & his elbows resting on his knees. “What the fuck happened?!” I asked & Ethan shook his head. “I don’t know what’s happening.” I heard him mumble, still not looking at me & I scoffed. “So you wake up screaming at five in the morning and you don’t know why. Bullshit. What the hell happe–“ I started but stopped mid-sentence when Ethan shit his head up to look at me. My stomach flipped. His eyes were swollen & red, barely open as he attempted to look at me. He had tears running down his face but he wasn’t crying, it just looked like whatever happened hurt really bad. 

 

    “I woke up like this and I can barely see fucking anything! You’re a huge blob of blur right now! Am I going blind?!” He yelled & his facial expression showed extreme worry. I was about to say something but he stood up & went to walk towards me, only to run harshly into his night table & trip. He groaned as he stumbled back & fell onto the floor. He winced extremely loudly for some reason when his back hit the carpet though. I sighed, running over to him & picking him up by his shoulders to set him back on his bed. “I don’t know what the fuck to do.” He whined, wrapping his almost protectively around his abdomen as a look of slight pain crossed his face. “Neither do I! I don’t have fucking glasses so I don’t know what the fuck is happening! I also have no clue why your face looks like a baboon’s ass right now because of how red it is!” I yelled, feeling anxious that I didn’t know how to handle this situation. I watched with guilt as Ethan flinched slightly at my words, especially when I mentioned his glasses. He reached up with his hands & touched his face hesitantly, then ducking his head down as if he gave up. I took a deep breath in. I needed to calm the fuck down. Who has glasses would know what to–Emma. 

 

    I snatched my phone out of my pocket & hastily unlocked it, pressing my finger onto the messaging app & texting Emma. After a few texts of urgent-ness, she finally seemed to wake up to the sound of her notifications & text back;

 

**Me:** EMMA I NEED UR HELP PLZ ANSWER!!

 

**Me:** EMMA WAKE UP SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ETHAN

 

**Me:** EMMAAAAAAAAAA IDK WHAT TO DO ANSWER ME!!!

 

**Asshole <3: ** wtf what’s wrong I was sleeping?

 

**Me:** ethan woke up screaming in pain & his eyes r all red & swollen shut, idk what to do & I thought u would know since u got glasses so maybe it has something to do with that???

 

**Asshole <3: ** wut does he look like atm? send a pic.

 

**Me:** k one min.

 

    I swiped out of the messaging all & went to the camera icon on my phone, flipping the camera around so it wasn’t facing myself & pointing it at Ethan’s ducked head. “E, look up I need to take a picture of you for Emma.” I stated & he shook his head. “No she doesn’t need to see me like this. She should be sleeping.” He said & I sighed. “Ethan. Let me see your face, your in pain right?” I questioned & Ethan nodded slowly. “Well if you let me take a picture then Emma might know what to do to stop the pain.” I bargained & he seemed to have a mental debate about it for a second, before lifting his bed-head up reluctantly. I quickly snapped a picture with the flash on & lowered my phone back down to send it to Emma;

 

**Me:[click here to see the photo gray took](https://goo.gl/images/FgSSKv)**

 

**Asshole <3: ** well shit, I’ll be over in a few mins. he needs to go to the doctors & u needa get to school since u got that biology exam today that’s half of ur grade so u can’t miss that.

**Me:** k. u can just walk in when u get here, don’t bother knocking since u might wake up our parents.

**Asshole <3: ** wait ur dads home again?

**Me:** yea he got home last night y?

**Asshole <3: ** uhm nothing, just wondering.

**Me:** ok...well I gtg get ready, ethans in his room & he said he can barely see anything but blobs so I don’t think he’ll go anywhere.

**Asshole <3: ** k bye gray.

**Me:** bye em.

    I sighed, clicking my phone off & looking back at Ethan who was just staring at the ground with a blank expression. “Emma’s coming, she knows what to do. Be nice to her please.” I said & Ethan pulled his gaze up from the ground to look at me, his eyebrows furrowed. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to her?” He snapped slightly & I put my hands up. “Woah, sorry. Didn’t know you were such a delicate flower. I was just saying since you seem mad right now.” I stated & his expression softened only slightly before nodding curtly. “Okay, well I’m gonna go get ready for school. Hope you feel better.” I said & he shrugged as I turned on my heel to walk out of his room & down the hallway towards mine. I wonder what happened with his eyes. Also why was he acting like his chest hurt so bad? I shrugged to myself as I entered my room, opening the doors of closet after flicking on the light switch.

**Emma Pov.**

I held my breath as I opened the front door of the Dolan’s house quietly as possible, not wanting to wake up the twin’s parents. Especially not their dad. When Grayson texted me saying that their dad got home last night, I immediately got the shivers. What if Sean did something that caused Ethan’s eyes to look like that? Ethan looked so sad & lost in the picture Grayson had sent to me that it really made me wonder what the hell happened.

    I trotted up the wooden stairs lightly & then padded softly down the dark hallway, passing Grayson’s room where I could hear ‘Kid Cudi’ music quietly playing over the sound of his shower water running. I chuckled to myself as I continued walking down the hallway, hearing him singing horribly along with the lyrics. 

    Once I reached Ethan’s door to his room, I pushed it open slowly & looked inside. The light in his room was on & he way laying on his bed with his back to me, curled up in an almost protective position over himself. “Hey E.” I said, my voice coming out slightly drowsy since I hadn’t spoken since I woke up this morning. His still form jumped, not knowing I had entered his room as his arms seemed to tighten around himself. He didn’t respond to my greeting, just groaned. “Go away. You should be at school, not wasting your time.” I heard him mumble & I sighed, walking over to the side of his bed & sitting down gently on the edge. “I’m not wasting my time. And I’m already here so I’m not just gonna drive back to my house to get ready and then be late for school.” I explained, fixing my messy bun the best I could. He didn’t reply. “E, let me see your eyes.” I coaxed & his shaggy hair ruffled wildly as he shook his head. “Ethan,” I started with a pleading tone, “Grayson told me that they hurt. If you want the pain to go away then you have to let me help you.  _ Please _ .” I said & he stayed still for a few seconds before sitting up slowly & turning around so that he was sitting in front of me, his arms still wrapped around his abdomen as he made attempted eye contact with me. “Oh, Ethan.” I said softly, bringing my hands up to lightly cup his face & gently stroke my thumbs over his swollen under eyes. From the small sliver I could see of his emerald green eyes, he was examining my face silently. 

    “What happened?” I asked quietly & Ethan shrugged. “I don’t know. Woke up like this.” He stated & I nodded slowly, dropping my hands back down into my lap. “Do you have a stomach ache or what?” I asked, referring to his protective arm looped around his stomach. He seemed to tense at the question & then realization hit me. It wasn’t a fucking stomach ache. His dad coming home last night, him keeping his arms around himself, sleeping with a shirt on instead of no shirt. His dad fucking beat him again, didn’t he?! 

    “He hit you again, didn’t he?” I said, it was more of a statement than a question. His whole body seemed to freeze up. “I-uh n–“ Ethan began to stutter but I decided to cut him off, placing my hands on his tense arms. “Let me see.” I said, sighing sadly. He shook his head quickly & I groaned, throwing my hands up in the air. “ _ Ethan _ .” I pleaded, exaggerating the ‘n’ in his name. He didn’t reply yet again, biting his lip. I watched as a single tear rolled out of his reddened & puffy eye, trickling down his cheek. I reached out my with my hand, making him flinch at first but then relax when my hand made gentle contact with his skin. I gently wiped the salty tear away & stared at his melancholy expression before dropping my hand & standing up from his bed. I held my hand out for him to take. “Come on, we gotta get you to the doctors.” I stated & from what I could tell, his eyes attempted at widening. “Fuck no! They can’t know about this! What the hell are you thinking?! They’ll call the police and-and then–“ He started to freak out & I cut his words short. “E,  _ calm _ down. I’m talking about for your eyes.” I soothed & gazed upon him as his stiffened form relaxed slightly. My outstretched hand hung emptily in the air for a second before he reached a hesitant hand out & accepted my gesture, pulling himself up. I smiled at his displeased expression, causing a small smile to dance on the corners of his lips as well. I dropped my small hand from his large one & turned on my heel, walking out the door & down the hallway without looking back. 

    Then I heard a loud crashing sound & a few groans of pain from behind me. My eyebrows furrowed & I turned around, realizing Ethan was indeed not behind me. I sprinted back into his room, seeing him sitting on his ass as he gripped his torso with a pained expression. His night table was knocked over as well. Oh shit. I completely forgot that he can’t see well at the moment. “You okay?” I asked, squatting down next to him. He nodded with his eyes tightly shut, clearly not okay. “Okay come on, I’ll be your guide.” I coaxed, softly gripping his shoulders & standing up with him. I moved my one hand to be gripping the crook of his elbow & dropped my other hand back to my side. I flicked the light off in his room & led him along with me as we made our way out of his room & down the hallway. 

    We almost reached the staircase when the door to a room opened in front of us & the worst person that could’ve possibly appeared, walked out. Ethan’s father. Sean. 

    I felt Ethan’s whole figure tense up next to me, not even having to be able to see well to know who stood in front of us. I tightened my grip on Ethan’s arm comfortingly as Sean gave Ethan an almost disgusted look, not even noticing me in the dark hallway. “What happened to your face? Did your brother finally knock some sense into you as well?” Sean asked, maliciousness lacing through his voice as he made a snarling face at Ethan. I felt Ethan flinch under my fingertips & was slightly shocked as he began to place himself in front of me slightly. Was he trying to protect me or something? 

    I watched as Sean opened his mouth to say something to Ethan but I cut him off before he was able to, “Oh hi Mr. Dolan, long time no see.” Sean snapped his eyes to me, shocked as I gave him a fake smile. Sean shook his head slightly, squinting his eyes at me. “Emma?” He asked & I nodded. “How’s my baby boy Grayson’s best friend?” He questioned, holding his arms out for a hug & completely ignoring Ethan as he shoved him out of the way. As I was encased into an unwanted hug from Sean, I saw as Ethan stumbled slightly from being shoved & just looked down while fiddling with the sleeves of his dark green hoodie. 

    I pulled away from the hug quite quickly, not caring if Sean found it rude. Sean just shrugged while smiling, before turning his stare back to Ethan & placing a hand on his covered wrist. Right under that sleeve were Ethan’s bandaged cuts. “Have a good day at school today.” Sean almost gritted out to Ethan & I watched as he tightened his grip on Ethan’s sleeved wrist, making him let out a small noise of presumably pain. I was quick to reach over & gently grab Ethan by his bicep, pulling him on the other side of me & making Sean drop his hand. “Well, if you don’t mind sir, I was just about to take Ethan to school so we must be on our way.” I lied, fake chuckling. Sean nodded slowly, looking between us. “Of course,” Sean said & clapped his hands together, “have a great day Emma.” He said, almost sounding sincere. I nodded & softly tugged a dazed Ethan along with me towards the staircase, glancing behind us once to see Sean simply going into the bathroom. 

    Once we reached the top of stairs I put both of my hands on Ethan’s arm, just to make sure he wouldn’t fall down the steep wooden steps. I walked down the stairs slowly, a silent Ethan one step behind me. For some reason he wasn’t talking like usual. Maybe just the fact that something would’ve happened to him because of his father if I wasn’t there?

    We were about halfway down the stairs when Ethan stepped too far ahead & stumbled, falling down on his ass & dragging me down with him. I landed next to him, one step above. I chuckled lightly but stopped when I looked at Ethan’s blank expression. “E, you okay?” I asked quietly & he just barely shook his head. “What’s wrong?” I coaxed softly. “My da-d.” He responded, voice cracking slightly. “Why me?” He asked sounding like he was about to cry & ducked his head down. “Hey, it’s okay.” I said softly & wrapped my arms around him gently, remembering that he liked affection even if he wouldn’t admit it. He flinched momentarily but then gave into the hug & wrapped his arms around me as well, stuffing his swollen face into the fabric of my hoodie. He winced at the contact of his irritated eyes against me & I softly cupped his face, pulling him away from me slightly. His eyebrows furrowed at me & he tried to hug me again but I stopped him, holding his face away gently as possible. “Oh.” He said quietly at my actions. His facial expression flashed with a hint of hurt & he pulled away completely, looking like he was about to stand up & walk away. 

    “No, no, no, Ethan come here.” I said, gently pulling Ethan back in for a hug but making sure to keep his face so it wasn’t touching me. I didn’t want him to hurt himself just by hugging me, that’s why I pulled him away. “I just didn’t want to hurt your eyes.” I explained, carding my fingers softly through his ash-colored hair. I felt a sigh of relief hit my back as he relaxed against me. “I won’t let him hurt you.” I soothed, referring to his father as I dragged my fingertips lightly on the back of his hoodie. He hummed gratefully into my shoulder & I smiled warmly, welcoming the peaceful silence that then fell between us.

    After Ethan having his small breakdown on the stairs & me comforting him for awhile, we had gotten into my car & I had driven us to the doctor's office. I guided Ethan through the main doors of the doctors office, still leading him by his muscular arm. He was pretty quiet on the way here & it made me kind of sad; I wanted him to be happy again...even if that meant me getting beaten again, considering he was happy then.

    I snapped out of my thoughts as the automatic glass doors shut behind us, pulling Ethan gently over to the front counter. “Ethan Dolan.” I said to one of the receptionists who had extremely curly molasses-colored hair, causing her to lift her head up from looking at her computer. Her name tag read: ‘ _ Sandra _ ’. Sandra nodded, glancing at Ethan for a split second & giving him an almost disgusted look as she looked back down at the computer screen. The fuck? Rude bitch. 

    I looked to Ethan at my side as he ducked his head down after receiving the look from Sandra. I rubbed my thumb on the sleeve of his hoodie where I was holding his arm comfortingly & turned to look down at where Sandra sat. “Is there a problem?” I snapped, referring to Sandra’s rude gesture & she flicked her head up at me with an almost shocked expression. “Uh-no sorry.” She replied curtly, getting back to typing. “You may sit in the waiting room, Dr. Moore will come get you in a few minutes.” Sandra stated, not looking up again. I thanked her in an annoyed tone & tugged Ethan gently along with me as I walked us over to sit down in two of the waiting room chairs. 

    “Thanks.” Ethan said quietly, making me turn my head to look at him next to me. “For what?” I asked, cocking my head in confusion at him. “For what you did to that girl at the receptionist desk.” He responded & I nodded. “Of course, Ethan. She had no fucking right to give you that look. I wanted to slap that poorly applied lipstick right off her face when she did that.” I vented, crossing my arms & scuffing my feet on the floor irritatedly. “Well, I mean, she did have a reason. I look like a fucking baboon’s ass that was enlarged.” He said with dry humor, looking down at his fiddling fingers even though I doubted he could actually see them well. “Stop. You look fucking fine. Just a little swollen.” I assured him, causing a tiny smile to appear on his saddened face. He shrugged & I chuckled lightly. 

    “Ethan Dolan?” We suddenly heard the doctor call out from across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUN. well I hated this chapter, I feel like it turned out weird so I might post a bonus chapter before next thursday....idk? anyways ily all & good fucking night I’m tired as a bitch. ;)


	15. FIFTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don’t yell at me...ik it’s short but it my week off of school so I was too busy relaxing & playing fortnite oops yes, girls play fortnite too. well, enjoy. <3

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    I groaned as I felt my hip sharply hit something hard & metal, a stair railing I'm assuming. I wasn't sure though, when I looked down all I saw was a thin black blur. I heard Emma chuckle next to me & her soft grip on my bicep tugged me in a different direction. I readjusted my grip on the prescription bottle in my hand, also holding the eye drops I had been prescribed by Dr. Shitface. 

 

    I stumbled to a stop when I felt Emma stop, almost tripping over my own feet. Her small hands dropped off of me. Remind me why I'm even letting her touch me? I honestly don't fucking know. I watched her blurry figure open the car door & then felt her hands gently guide me so I was now seated in the passenger seat of her 'Subaru’. I reached for the seatbelt after she shut the door & clicked the cold metal piece into place. I then dropped my prescriptions into my lap & pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my freezing hands as far as possible, rubbing them together. Fucking Christ it was cold outside. It was December 2nd now though, Christmas coming up soon as it got frostier outside. Still no snow though.

 

    Emma's presence was suddenly next to me on the other side of the middle console as she slammed the car door shut, making me jump slightly. I looked over at her blurry posture, squinting my eyes as they stung. I couldn't tell if she was smiling or making a dumb face at me. “What?” She asked & I slumped back into the leather seat, huffing out a cold breath in frustration. I could barely see shit. “Nothing.” I said shortly, hearing as she turned the key into the ignition only to turn the heat on. “Fine, moody.” Was her response & I glared at the glove compartment. “I can't believe you forgot to take out your contacts. And you even took a hot shower with them in?!” She exclaimed, almost sounding like she was talking to herself. Way to make me feel worse about the situation. I shrugged, twiddling my blurs of thumbs as I moved my gaze down to them. I definitely did  _ not  _ want to talk about why I forgot to take them out, the reason being I was being too much of a pussy to even think after getting yet another beating from my father of the year. According to the doctor, the contacts had melted into my eyes because of me letting them sit in for too long & because of the hot steam from the shower I took. 

 

    “Hey, I didn't mean it like that.” I then heard Emma say quietly & I didn't respond, still mad that I couldn't even look at her to respond without my eyes stinging like hell. “E.” She said. I lowered my eyelids at my lap. “ _ Ethan _ I'm sorry.” She stated. I just sighed. “Etha–” She started but I cut her off. “Fucking stop, okay?” I said rudely, before I could stop myself. I heard her breath hitch & then her seatbelt click before the car started to move. I stared at the floor of her car with regret flooding through me. I didn't mean to come off like that.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

    “ _ Fucking stop, okay?” _ Ethan’s voice continued to ring throughout my mind. I fucking did it now. I pissed him off & now I would probably pay the price. He may not be able to see well, but he could probably still hit me even without good vision. I bit my lip, ignoring the pricking tears of fear in the corner of my eyes. Fucking emotions.

 

    I suddenly felt Ethan's hand on my arm & I flinched harshly, causing my car to swerve as I pulled over on the side of the road & unbuckled quickly to back up against my locked car door with my hands held up defensively. “Please don't I'm sorry, I didn't mean t–” I shut my eyes tightly as I started to ramble but was cut off by him saying, “Hey, fuck, woah calm down. I'm not gonna hit you….?” I clenched my jaw, not believing him as my arms betrayed me by moving down from their defensive state slightly. I opened my eyes, feeling his hand sit lightly on my arm as he leaned over the console. I flinched at the contact but he didn't move. “Sorry for snapping at you….I shouldn’t have done that, I'm just pissed that I can't see shit right now.” He said, blinking his still swollen eyes. The swelling had gone down slightly, thanks to the eye drops & pills that Dr. Moore had given him.

 

    “Em?” Ethan questioned, bringing me out of my thoughts. I nodded slowly. I watched cautiously as he reached his hand up towards my face & squinted his eyes extremely hard at me as if he was focusing. His thumb touched my skin just below my eye & swiped a small tear away that I didn't even know I had. He then dropped his hand & sighed, almost sounding like it was a sigh of relief. “What was that for?” I asked, chuckling lightly as I referred to his hard concentration. He smiled a small smile, shaking his head. “I was trying not to poke your eye out since I can't see what I'm doing.” He said with a hint of humour & I laughed softly as his cutene–no. He's not cute. That was not cute. Nothing about him is  _ cute _ . I shook my head, clearing that odd thought away. 

 

    I slumped back down into my seat normally & sighed, turning to look at Ethan again. He was rubbing his hands vigorously against his eyes & I immediately reached over, grabbing his wrists gently to pull them away from his reddened face. The doctor said to not itch his eyes or touch them too much. His face scrunched up at my actions & he pulled lightly at his wrists but I didn’t budge, keeping my light but stern grip. “You’re only gonna irritate them more.” I said & he groaned, throwing his head back against the headrest on the seat. I let go of his wrists & they plopped into his lap as I buckled my seatbelt again to start the car up. I turned the key & pressed my foot down lightly onto the gas pedal, beginning the drive back to the Dolan’s house.

 

    After a seemingly long ride back, we had finally pulled up into the Dolan’s driveway. I parked my car behind Ethan’s that sat in all of its black glory as it glimmered in the rising sunlight. I noticed Lisa’s—Ethan’s mom—car wasn’t where it usually sat in the long driveway. She must be at work. I unbuckled myself & sighed, opening the car door & walking around to the passenger side where Ethan sat. He had already opened his door by the time I made my way around the far & I reached down, gripping his forearm gently to help him out of the car so that he wouldn’t hit his head. The pills rattled in the prescription bottle he was holding as he shut the car door with his other arm. I walked with him patiently up to the front door & then remembered that I forgot my phone in the middle console of the car. I mentally facepalmed myself & latched my hand onto the cold metal that belonged to the door handle, pushing the door wide open & tugging Ethan gently inside. I patted his muscular arm, getting his attention as he turned his head to look down at me. “I forgot my phone in the car, I’m gonna go get it real quick. Just...stay put and try not to  break anything or hurt yourself.” I explained, earning a small nod from him as I let his arm go & turned back to walk out the front door again. I closed it behind me & trotted down the few cement steps.

 

    It had taken me a good six or seven minutes just to find my dumbass phone, it being hidden in the dark crack between the seat & the middle console for whatever reason. I sighed, brushing the screen off & quickly checking to see if I had gotten any messages. I had, only one, it was from Grayson though. He asked me to give him an update on how Ethan’s doing. I began to type back a reply when I heard something that made my heart stop; muffled yelling & loud crashing noises coming from inside the house. Without hesitation I tossed my phone into the pocket of my hoodie & ran up the driveway, dashing onto the steps & reaching for the frozen door handle. I turned the handle & swung the door open, my hand coming up to cover my mouth silently at what I saw. A vase was shattered on the floor with the table it was on right next to it, Ethan’s prescriptions were tossed carelessly on the floor & most importantly; there was a broken beer bottle laying in dangerously sharp pieces on the floor. I looked up to see Ethan’s father—Sean—had his hand bunched up into the collar of Ethan’s hoodie, choking him as he punched him in the stomach over & over. Blood was starting to trickle out of Ethan’s mouth as he started gasping for air & clawing helplessly at his father’s hand that was choking him. I gasped myself.

 

    I immediately ran over to the two, breaking out of my shocked trance as I shoved Sean off of Ethan & onto the floor. “What the fuck?!” Sean yelled, scrambling to his feet. I stood in front of Ethan who was coughing horribly as he hunched over. Sean ran towards me & I held my phone up, along with a threading finger signaling him to stop. “Take one more fucking step and I call the cops.” I threatened & Sean stopped in his tracks, the house falling silent as the only thing audible was Ethan choking on his own air. “I think it’s best you leave,” I started & Sean opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it, “ _ now _ .” I gritted out, making Sean snap his jaw shut. His alcohol-glazed eyes shot me a glare before he turned around, grabbing his car keys & wallet off the counter & leaving the house with a loud slamming sound made by the front door. I ran over to the tall white door & locked both of the locks, making sure Sean couldn’t get back in. I took a break for a moment, catching my breath after what had just happened.

 

    Then I heard Ethan making a sound that was between gasping & choking, causing me to turn around & run back over to his shaking figure. I placed my hands on him, causing him to flinch so hard that he hit the wall behind him. “Hey, it’s me. It’s me. I would never hurt you.” I soothed, causing his choking figure to look up at me. “You need to breathe, Ethan. Come on, just calm down and breathe.” I coaxed & he slowly started trying to catch his breath & slow down his breathing. “That’s it, you’re okay.” I said softly. His breathing was now way better than before & I wiped under his quivering mouth with the sleeve of my hoodie, soaking up the blood that had trickled onto his skin. The swelling around his eyes had actually gone down a ton thanks to the eye drops being able to kick in on the car ride here. He moved a shaky hand to touch the fabric of his hoodie that sat over his stomach & winced, retracting his hand quickly. My eyes softened & I watched as thick, salty tears began to roll down his flushed face. “Come here.” I whispered, pulling his crying figure into my arms so that we were sitting on the floor & I was leaning against the wall. “Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry.” I said softly, stroking my fingers through his soft hair & carding it away from his forehead. He let out a silent sob into my hoodie & I rubbed my hand comfortingly up & down his back.

 

    We sat there for a few seconds before Ethan suddenly pushed himself away from me, shaking his head & leaning against the wall across the room while pulling his knees against himself. “Etha–“ I began to question but he cut me off, “Why do I fuck everything up?! I’m so fucking stupid just leave Emma! I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to live.” He ducked his head into his knees & let out a cry that made my heart contract. He gets so self-destructive whenever he breaks down, it breaks my heart. I ignored his request anyway, standing up & walking over to him. I kneeled down in front of him & he heard me, shooting his head up & then shaking it rapidly as he tried to move away. “No, just go you shouldn’t be wastin–“ He started to ramble & I cupped both sides of his face, stopping him. “Ethan.  _ Ethan _ . I am  not  wasting my time. You deserve to live whether think so or not. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that this happens to you. But no matter how hard life is for you, you still deserve it. Let me help you,” I began as he stared at me with a quivering lower lip & watery eyes, “I promise I’ll never leave you or hurt you. I promise.” I stated & he clenched his jaw, biting the inside of his cheek as he scanned over my face. “Come here.” I whispered, pulling his broad self into my arms gently as more tears of his fell. I softly wiped the salty drops off of his face & gently stroked his cheek in a soothing way as he broke down silently into my hoodie.

 

    “Let me see.” I coaxed Ethan, looking into his now dry eyes pleadingly. We were in the bathroom now, me insisting that his chest wounds needed to be cleaned. Which they did. Ethan shook his head from where he was sitting on the bathroom counter. “I’m fine.” He stated, shrugging & I glared at him. “Bull-fucking-shit.” I replied & he chuckled smally. “Ethan they might need to be cleaned. I need to make sure that none of them are open wounds, so they can’t get infected.” I explained & he rolled his eyes sadly. He pulled the hem of his hoodie up to his collar bones, exposing his black & blue chest as I gasped sadly. Almost his whole chest was filled with the bruised marks of hurt. I glanced up at his face momentarily, seeing his eyes flicking anywhere but at me as his cheeks were now starting to tint with red. He was embarrassed. “Why are you embarrassed?” I asked straightforwardly & his worried eyes locked with mine for a second before I looked back down at his bludgeoned stomach. “I’m not.” He answered shortly & I cocked an eyebrow. “You’re blushing. Why are you embarrassed Ethan?” I asked again & he sighed. “Thewayitlooks.” He mumbled quickly & I furrowed my eyebrows. “What was that?” I questioned & he groaned quietly. “The way it looks. Disgusting.” He repeated & I squinted my eyes at him. “It does not look  _ disgusting  _ Ethan. It’s not your fault anyway.” I responded, dragging my gaze back to the color-stained skin that covered his stomach. I reached my hand out & flicked my eyes up to his for a second, almost asking permission as he gave me a small nod. I moved my eyes back to his stomach & lightly dragged my fingertips across the smooth skin, causing Ethan to wince very lightly but noticeably. I retracted my hand back faster than the speed of light & searched his face with my eyes, looking for a reaction of pain of some sort. Nothing though, he was just staring back. “Well you have no open wounds, so that’s good.” I stated & he nodded, sighing as he dropped his hoodie back down & placed his hands back into his lap. “You should take it easy, you’re clearly in pain. Come on.” I said, helping him down from the counter & walking to his room down the hallway with him trailing behind. He could walk on his own now that he could see slightly better.

 

    Ethan stood in front of his bed & I flicked my eyes around awkwardly, gesturing to his bed. “Are you gonna lay down or….?” I asked, referring back to my suggestion of him getting some rest for both his eyes & his chest wounds. He just shrugged, moving his hand up to scratch the side of his arm. “What if he comes back?” He whispered quietly, his voice sounding like it was about to crack & my heart broke. “Just call me if anything happens. You’ll be fine, I promise. He won’t lay a single hand on you.” I assured him & he nodded slowly, crawling into his comfy bed & getting under the many covers he had. He sighed once he was situated & I smiled. “Thank you, Emma.” He said with his eyes closed & I nodded, moving back towards his doorway. “You’re welcome, E.” I replied, flicking the light off in his room & pulling his impaled door shut quietly. 

 

    I gave Ethan’s bedroom door one last look as I walked away, seeing the hole he had made when he punched the innocent piece of wood. I shook my head to myself, chuckling. This boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof. trash. this chapter was horrible but I promise it’ll be better next thursday. :((


	16. SIXTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER BITCHES hehe. enjoy. <3333

**Emma Pov.**

 

_ Ding.  _ I sighed, rolling over in my sleep while keeping my eyes shut.  _ Ding.  _ I groaned, pulling the many covers further up onto my body.  _ Ding.  _ “What the fuck?” I whispered to myself, opening my eyes & patting around blindly for my phone.  _ Ding.  _ I felt the rectangular device that was half under a blanket & yanked it over so that it was in front of my face. I clicked the power button & cringed slightly, scrunching up my face at the bright light that the screen emitted. I first looked at the time;  _ 4:27 a.m.  _ What the hell? I normally get up like three hours later.  _ Ding.  _ Who the fuck is texting me at four in the morning?! I scrolled up with my thumb, unlocking my phone & tapping on the messaging app. I looked at the chat box at the top & my blurry morning vision finally focused on who was texting me;  _ Ethan.  _ I immediately sat up, forgetting about the three extra hours of sleep I could be getting right now. I read the many messages that were sent by him;

 

**Hates Me:** emma?

 

**Hates Me:** emma plz answer

 

**Hates Me:** emma plz

 

**Hates Me:** emma I’m a pussy I’m scared plz answer

 

**Hates Me:** EMMA PLZ IDK WHAT TO DO I CAN'T SLEEP & I'M SCARED IDK Y

_ read; 4:29 a.m. _

 

__ My eyebrows knitted together & I was about to type a reply but then my phone screen went a darker color & it started ringing while showing Ethan’s contact name that I made for him back when he would make my life a living hell. I slid my finger on the green phone icon & pressed my phone to my ear, about to say something but before I could, Ethan started talking rapidly. “Emma I don’t know what to do my dad is home again and he keeps coming in my room so I pretend I’m sleeping every time and I can’t sleep and I don’t know what to do what if he comes in and I’m not sleeping and he beats me again I can’t take it I don’t know what to d—“ He rambled but I cut him off. “Ethan,  _ Ethan _ , calm down okay?” I suggested, my voice coming out lower than usual since I just woke up. The other end of the line went silent for a moment. “I-I’m scared.” I then heard him say quietly & I frowned. I sighed, throwing the covers off of myself & standing up to walk towards my closet in the dark. “Hold on, I’m coming over.” I said, tucking the phone in between my head & my shoulder as I pulled on a pair of blue skinny jeans. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to I’m just being a little bitch I just don’t wanna get bea–“ He started to ramble again & I cut him off again, “Ethan. If you’re truly scared I’ll come over and stay with you, it’s fine.” I explained & the end of his line went silent again, the only thing to be heard was his deep & shaky breathing. “Okay.” He said quietly & I nodded to myself, setting the phone down on my dressed & putting it on speaker as I pulled on a green ‘Champion’ hoodie. “Where’s Gray?” I asked, half hoping that maybe Grayson could sleep with Ethan so that I could go back to bed. But then again, him & Ethan don’t seem to get along too much anymore. “Spent the night at Alex’s.” Was his response. “Figures.” I replied, grabbing the phone after putting on some deodorant & a spritz of perfume. I heard a noise from the other end of the line & Ethan’s breath hitch loudly. “E-emma?” Ethan said quietly. “It’s okay Ethan, breathe. I’m leaving right now. Be there soon.” I assured him & heard him let out a breath. “Okay.” He whispered & I hung up the phone, grabbing my backpack as I was down the flight of stairs now. 

 

    I pushed open the front door & shut it quietly behind me, making sure not to wake up my dad in case he was home. I sprinted to my car, escaping from the cold outside air as I hopped into the warmer vehicle & shoved the key into the ignition.

 

    It was a surprisingly short ride to the Dolan’s house. I also hadn’t gotten any texts or calls from Ethan on the way which was shocking. When does the drama end? It used to always happen to me but it’s like I passed it onto Ethan & his is way worse. I parked my inferior car at the end of the driveway, just in case Lisa or Sean had to leave; considering both of their vehicles were sitting in all of their glory in the middle of the driveway. I tossed my backpack onto my hack & threw my hair up into a quick messy bun as I kicked my car door shut. I fanned out my bun slightly as I walked, then stuffing my freezing hands into the warmth of the pocket on my hoodie. My teeth chattered & I saw a cold cloud of my breath in front of me as I stepped up the cement steps that led to the front door. I raised my hand up to knock as an instinct but then dropped it, remembering what happened yesterday with Ethan’s father. Sean probably would  _ not  _ let me in. I took a deep breath of stealth & set my hand on the frozen metal of the door handle, turning it slowly. Once I heard the quiet click inside of the mechanical lock, I pushed the door open & shut it behind me silently. I walked lightly across the wooden floor, making my way over to the bottom of the staircase that was also wooden. I stepped up the stairs as quietly as possible, trying to ignore the creaks of a few loose steps. I paused for a moment at the top of the stairs, looking down the hallway to make sure that nobody was going to see me.

 

    Then I padded softly down the hallway & stood in front of Ethan’s shut door, smirking again at the hole in it. I placed my hand on the handle & opened the door slowly, seeing that it was completely dark in his room. I took a step forward in the direction of where I remember his bed being & then the place where I stepped below me creaked slightly loudly. I heard Ethan make a noise & then also heard him shuffling around wildly on his bed I assume. “N-no I’m sorry plea–“ I heard him start to panic a little loudly & I quickly took a few steps forwards his bed, cutting him off as I placed my hand over his mouth, not wanting his loud rambling to wake up his parents who were just down the hall. He froze under my touch as I waited silently, listening for any sounds of Sean waking up. My listening was interrupted when I felt a small tear drop on my hand. Oh shit, Ethan probably thinks I’m his dad. “Hey it’s me, you’re okay. Don’t worry.” I soothed quietly, removing my hand from his mouth & giving him a soft hug. “Emma? Oh my god I thought you were him.” He whispered, pulling away after a moment & quickly wiping his face clear of any escaped tears of fear. I stood up from his bed & blindly made my way a few steps back, feeling for the door & pushing it shut silently. I then padded back towards his bed & walked around to the opposite side, climbing onto the comfy mattress. I pulled my backpack off of myself & laid it down in front of me, unzipping it & taking out my history book. I decided I would just do homework as Ethan slept. 

 

    I felt eyes on me as I pulled out a pencil & I looked up, turning on the flashlight in my phone to shine it on Ethan which made him scrunch his face up. “You can sleep if you want, I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” I stated & he nodded slowly but then shook his head & groaned, falling back against his pillow. “Fucking Christ.” He muttered, throwing the back of his hand over his eyes. “What?” I asked, questioning his actions. “I feel bad now, you should be able to sleep. I’m keeping you up.” He mumbled & scoffed to himself. As I listened to him I was halfway through a yawn but snapped my mouth shut, ignoring it. “Ethan, it’s fine. I have homework to do anyway.” I explained & he didn’t move, his chest rising & falling unevenly as he upset himself. “If you have homework then that means I have homework.” He groaned out & I raised an eyebrow in confusion at him. He moved his hand from blocking his line of vision & looked at me with a questioning look. “What’s with that face?” He asked, referring to the facial expression of confusion I was making. I shrugged & dropped my gaze back down to my history book. “I just assumed you wouldn’t need to do your homework, since you always steal or copy mine anyways….” I explained, trailing off into an awkward silence. 

 

    After a few moments of quietness, I heard Ethan sigh from in front of me & I looked up slowly. “I won’t do that anymore.” He mumbled with guiltiness lacing through his voice. “It’s fine, you need to rest anyway.” I stated, looking at his slightly exposed chest that was only half hidden under blankets. I just now realized he didn’t have a shirt on, looking at all of the painful bruises that mapped his skin. Before I even processed what I was doing, I gently traced a few of the dark markings on his tanned skin which made goosebumps arise wherever I touched. Ethan was watching me intently with a clenched jaw. What the fuck am I doing? “Do they hurt?” I asked softly, dragging my hand back into my lap. “Sometimes.” He responded & I nodded. “Okay, now go to  _ sleep. _ I’ll wake you up when you need to get ready.” I stated & he nodded slowly, yawning before turning around & laying the opposite direction so that his back was facing me. “Thank you.” I heard him whisper & I smiled to myself at how tired he sounded. “Goodnight Ethan.” I responded & received no reply as he probably fell asleep. I sighed, turning my eyes back to the history book & flipping open to the pages I needed to study & take notes on. I heard Ethan’s heavy breathing as sleep took over him & I took out my notebook, preparing for the three long hours of studying.

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    I woke up to somebody shaking me lightly & I cracked my eyes open, slowly blinking until I saw Emma come into focus. “Good morning sleeping beauty.” She announced & I sighed, yawning. I looked around on the bed at the space next to me & infront of Emma, seeing all of the notebooks & textbooks spread out all around her. I chuckled lightly at how hard she had worked & began to stretch, wincing when the muscles in my abused chest were pulled at. I dropped my arms back down to my sides & used them to push myself up into a sitting position, leaning against the headboard of my bed. I glanced up at Emma who was staring down at her hands & fidgeting with her fingers. “What?” I asked, noticing that she seemed nervous. “I-uh, can I tell you something?” She asked quietly & I nodded slowly. “Of course.” I responded & she cleared her throat nervously. “So….I’ve been thinking lately and I-uh..I think I’m uhm...i-in love with you, Ethan.” She explained & stayed silent for a few seconds, processing what she just said. She….loves me? She loves the person that made her life a living hell? My stomach knotted & I felt giddy. I watched as she looked up at me & we made eye contact. “Dammit E, say something.” She muttered & I smiled slightly at her frustration. “I think-I think I’m in love with you to….” I admitted, both to Emma & myself. 

 

    Before I could even think about what I just said I felt a pair of lips smash against mine & I immediately kissed back, melting into the kiss. I felt Emma twist her fingers into my hair as she carefully placed her body over mine so that she wasn’t touching my hurt chest. I tilted my head, placing a hand on the back of her neck to deepen the kiss. It started to turn more & more heated as she slipped her tongue into my mouth, fighting for dominance against mine. I reached my other hand up into her now loose hair & she readjusted how she was sitting, accidentally brushing her knee against my crotch which made me let out a small surprised moan against her now swollen lips. She smiled into the kiss & move her hands down to cup my face, pulling me closer if possible.

 

    Then suddenly I heard my door swing open & Emma jumped off of me, both of us breathing heavily as we looked at the entrance to my room. My eyes winded & my breathing picked up, it was my father. He held an evil smirk on his face as he looked between Emma & I, stepping further into my room. “Well, well, well….what do we have here?” He asked slowly & I clenched my jaw in fear, seeing that he had an arm hidden behind his back. I didn’t dare look at Emma, too scared to take my eyes off of him. “Answer me!” He suddenly yelled & I jumped. “N-nothing.” I responded shakily & he marched over to my bed, stopping in front of me & grabbing me by hair to pull my face up. “You’re pathetic.” He spat in my face & then I felt a harsh blow to my rib cage, coming from his fist. I screamed out in pain, my already abused skin was throbbing. “Even your mom thinks that you’re worthless,” He stated & punched me again but then paused for a moment, “well,  _ thought _ .” He continued & pulled out his arm from behind his back, showing that he was holding a wedding ring. My moms wedding ring. And his fingers were painted in blood as he smiled maliciously down at me. “She was a bitch anyways, just like you.” He stated, slapping me across the face & I winced at the stinging pain. My eyes filled with tears. Not my mom. I let out a sob as tears spilled over & he wrapped his hands around my throat. “Ethan!” He yelled at me & I shook my head, gasping for air as his hands tightened. “Ethan!” He growled out again & I let out a choked sob. “Ethan!” He shouted angrily & I gasped.

 

    I shot up into a sitting position & gasped, trying to catch my breath & looking around frantically. “Ethan, calm down. What happened? Are you okay?” Somebody asked & I flinched harshly, almost falling off of the bed I was on. Small hands wrapped around my shoulders & pulled me back so that I wasn’t falling anymore & I thrashed around in their grip. “No! Y-you kille–Mom-how could you?!” I cried out & they clamped their hand on my mouth. I gasped against it & moved around wildly. “Ethan, it’s Emma. Shh, you’re okay. You’re okay.” They said & realization hit me. It was just a dream. My mom’s still alive? I let a single tear escape, not knowing if it was of relief or sadness. I felt Emma pull me into a gentle hug & card her fingers through my now slightly sweaty hair. I breathed heavily, trying to calm down but failing. It seemed so real. “Shh, breathe. ‘Just a bad dream.” She whispered, stroking my hair off of my forehead as I relaxed into her touch. She was so gentle. I don’t know why. I don’t deserve gentle. My eyes fluttered shut peacefully under her soft grip & I sighed. She pulled away from me then & I opened my eyes again, looking at her. Her eyebrows were furrowed & she looked worried, the messy bun on top of her head being even more messed up than before. Her notebooks & textbooks were stacked in a neat pile next to her backpack which was placed on the bed next to where she sat. “You okay?” She asked, tugging at the sleeves of her hoodie anxiously. I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “Yeah.” I resounded & she nodded. “Shit, that’s so embarrassing.” I groaned out, shutting my eyes. I heard her chuckle & I opened my eyes to glare at her but found myself smiling as well. 

 

    “Alright,” She suddenly announced, “get up and get ready.” She said & I sighed. “Fine.” I responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope u liked it & I also hope that I got ur hopes up for a moment that they actually finally got together but YEET sike bitch, it says ‘slowburn’ in the tags for a reason sweetie. hehe. bye ily guys sm. it’s also 2 a.m. when I’m posting this so be grateful lol. lyyyyyyyyyy. :))


	17. SEVENTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let’s just pretend it’s thursday bc I won’t have time to post this tomorrow. yeet. enjoy? :)

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    I sighed as Emma & I walked into the dreaded school building. I definitely did  not want to be here, considering the fact that I had to wear my ugly ass glasses since I couldn’t put contacts in until my eyes healed fully. The piece of plastic & glass felt heavy in the pocket of my hoodie as my thoughts raced about them, already knowing I would get made fun of.  _ Ethan Dolan, once a hot jock, now a dumbass nerd with a pair of some ugly-ass glasses.  _ I cringed at the thought, knowing that was probably what would happen. 

 

    “Stop it.” I heard Emma say as she slapped my shoulder with purpose, bringing me out of my thoughts as I looked down at her next to me. “What?” I asked, confused. I didn’t do anything. “Overthinking. Cut it out. I can practically hear your thoughts with how hard and loud you’re thinking about them.” She explained & I groaned. “I’m not gonna wear them.” I stated, thinking about all the negative things that would happen if I did wear them. She stopped walking as we arrived at her locker, turning to look at me. “Yes you are. You can’t see the board without them and you won’t be able to play football next season if you start to fail classes.” She said & I sighed loudly, not responding as I looked down at the floor. She had a point. 

 

    “Wassup Dolan?!” I heard somebody yell before I was brought into a harsh bro-hug, colliding with another built body. I let out a noise of pain & bit my lip as my bruised chest hit theirs. “Jake.” I greeted, clenching my jaw at the throbbing pain in my chest. He laughed obnoxiously & pulled away from the hug, looking at Emma who was staring at me concerned. “Slut.” Jake greeted her, bowing sarcastically & I lowered my eyelids at him. Emma stared at him tiredly for a moment, a flash of hurt crossing her face for a split second before she slammed her locker door shut & walked away to her first period. Jake laughed & patted my shoulder. “Alright E, see you around.” He stated before walking away as well. I bit the inside of my cheek lightly, debating if I should’ve defended Emma or not. I mentally shrugged & turned on my heel, heading to my first period as well. Spanish, the same as Emma.

 

    I walked into the fiesta-like room & looked toward the back of the room, seeing Emma staring at her twiddling fingers while she sat at her normal seat. I inhales & walked over to my usual desk as well, one row to the right & two desks in front of Emma. I slouched into my chair carefully, minding my hurt chest as I took out my Spanish folder from my backpack. As I waited for the rest of the students to pour in, I pulled out the homework that Emma had let me copy this morning. I stared at the sheet of grainy paper in my large hands, squinting my eyes & bringing the paper closer to my face as I tried to read some of the words. I groaned quietly.  _ Useless pieces of shit _ , I thought referring to my eyes.

 

    Our teacher–Señora Frego–stood up from her chair & walked to the front of the classroom, clapping her hands together loudly. “Hola clase,” She started speaking in Spanish & I lost her, only being able to pick out a few words of what we would be doing today. Watching a verbal video lesson while taking notes & then checking homework at the end of class. I sighed, pulling out a loose leaf notebook & flipping it open to one of the many blank pages. I looked up at the large board, watching as Señora Frego pulled on the little string above it to release the flexible projector screen. The teacher scurried back over to her computer cart & fiddled with the keys for a moment, before the projector shown a very wordsy video on the screen. Señora Frego then flicked the lights off in the classroom & took her seat as the screen lit up. I cringed as it started to play, glaring at the board as I tried to read the tiny blurred words. I suppressed the urge to let out a groan of frustration & glanced around me, making sure that everybody was focused on the video infront of them instead of me. I cautiously pulled my handy-dandy glasses that I oh so needed out of the pocket on my hoodie & slid them discreetly onto my face. I sighed as the jumbled words came into focus & I began to take notes normally.

 

    The lights in the classroom flashed on brightly as Señora Frego turned them on with a bright smile & made her way back to the front of the classroom. “Alright Clase, turn to the person on your right and discuss your answers on the notes while I assess this email from Principal Moore.” She said, turning to her computer screen & scrunching her face up as she read whatever Principal Moore had emailed her. I shrugged, turning to the person on my right that just so happened to be my friend Logan. He turned to me with a stupid grin & I smirked back, knowing we weren’t gonna talk about the shitty notes. But then Logan’s face dropped & he covered his grinning mouth with his hand, leaning back in his chair. “No way,” He bellowed out which got the attention of the rest of the students in the class, “Harry Potter?! What happened to Ethan?!” Fuck, I forgot to take my glasses off. The whole class gasped while looking at me & started laughing at Logan’s joke….& at me. Everybody was laughing while whispering & pointing at me, well, everybody except for Emma who was giving Logan a dirty look. I quickly snatched the glasses off of my face in embarrassment & ducked my head down. “What’s wrong Chicken Little? Did you forget to pack your paper pants since you peed yourself in embarrassment?” I heard somebody taunt with a deep voice & I looked up to see that my “friend” Nash was the one who said it. Everybody laughed more & I felt my cheeks heat up as I clenched my jaw. I fucking knew this would happen. 

 

    “What’s wrong little dick? Did you forget to pack your microscope when you went to jerk off? Is that why you’re so mad?” I heard a feminine voice suddenly pipe up & I snapped my head upwards, looking directly at Emma being the one who said it. Everybody went silent for a moment before looking to Nash who was staring blankly into the distance with red cheeks, then the class erupted into laughter. “Olivia said it’s true, he’s only got five inches!” Alexis then shouted out, causing Nash to stammer out something incoherent & everybody laughed harder at him. I looked to Emma who was smiling at me & I smiled a tiny smile back, mouthing a ‘thank you’. She nodded & turned to look at Nash, a light laugh erupting from her at him. “Clase! Cállate (shut up)! No more of that,” Señora Frego started, “we have a guest who is going to come in and speak to us about an issue that seems to be common lately. So if you please be respectful of him, considering he is your principal.” Everybody got quieter as Principal Moore walked in & greeted us, before taking Señora Frego’s place at the front of the classroom.

 

    “So it has been brought to my attention that there are a lot of students at the moment who feel depressed for their own reaso–“ Principal Moore started but was cut off by Aaron stating, “I want to kill myself.” Aaron stood up with his hand raised as he stated that, making everybody laugh. “Of course you do Mr. Carpenter. Now sit down please.” Principal Moore said with sarcasm dripping from his voice. The principal then cleared his throat & continued, “Depression is a mental disorder where you feel there’s no hope except for dea–“ He was interrupted by Aaron again, “That’s exactly how I feel. Can I die now?” His question earned another laugh from everyone & Principal Moore sighed. “No. Now depression can be cause by many things; rape, death of a loved one, abuse and many more.” Principal Moore stated & my head perked up at the mention of abuse. “I’m not going through any of those but I still want to kill myself.” Aaron stated proudly. “Okay Aaron.” Logan laughed while saying. “I think Aaron needs help.” Summer said, playfully punching Aaron’s shoulder. “I think Aaron needs an asylum.” Kian stated, making everybody chuckle. “Everybody! Did you hear what I said?!” Principal Moore exclaimed. “You were talking about suicidal thoughts and I kept saying that I have them but you don’t care.” Aaron answered loudly, crossing his arms. I stifled a chuckle as Principal Moore glared at Aaron. “Aaron. Get help.” Principal Moore stated, not being able to finish his speech as the bell rang for dismissal to second period.

  
  


**Grayson Pov.**

 

    I took a deep breath, clutching the makeup pallet I had just bought & apology note tighter in my hand. I looked across the lunchroom at my targeted person; James. He was slumped in a chair that sat directly across from a tired looking Emma & instead of wearing his usual spicy attire, he was wearing a baggy hoodie & a pair of plain black joggers. According to Emma, me avoiding James had really affected him since she told me he never actually had legit feelings for somebody. It was always just a one-night-fling for him, never anything serious. I’m really taking a chance on Emma’s words here, considering she told me that James has those serious feelings for me & when I asked how she knew; she said she can ‘just tell’. And as much as I don’t want to admit it, I think I might have feelings for him too. That thought made me shiver though, I never found a huge attraction towards guys. I myself, didn’t even know I was gay for fucks sakes. 

 

    I shook my head, clearing my thoughts & inhaling deeply once again before making my way across the lunchroom. As I approached up behind James, Emma made tired eye contact with me & so did Hannah & Ellie. Emma’s eyes widened brightly when she saw the gifts I was holding & I relaxed slightly, hoping that her facial expression meant James would like them. I looked down at him from behind, he still hadn’t noticed my presence as he ate a small sandwich sadly. I reached out a hesitant hand to tap his shoulder but then retracted it back quickly.  _ Stop being a little bitch _ I told myself & shut my eyes for a second, debating before just shrugging & plopping myself down right next to him. We were so close that the sides of our legs were pressed together tightly. James jumped, dropping his sandwich back onto his lunch tray & looking over at me with wide eyes. I froze up, looking at his slightly darker under eyes & forgetting what I was gonna say. My eyes glanced to his exposed neck because of how big the hoodie he was wearing was, noticing that the hickey I had made there was fading. My stomach twister & I furrowed my eyebrows at myself, suddenly getting the odd urge to make the hickey prominent again. I mentally slapped myself out of it. 

 

    James then sighed & looked back down at the table. “Look Grayson, I would prefer not to have my day get worse than it already is so if you would pleas—“ He started to mumble & I took a deep breath of courage, cutting him off. “I like you.” I stated proudly & Ellie dropped her pizza, Hannah choking on her iced coffee. “Grayson I already said I–wait what?” James choked out, snapping his head up to look at me. “I. Like. You.” I spelled out & Hannah hit her chest repeatedly, trying to stop choking on her coffee. James stared at me in shock, Emma across the table staring at me with eyes full of happiness. “Is this a joke?” His feminine voice asked & I shook my head, holding out the makeup pallet & apology note I made for him. “No James, I’m dead serious. I like you and the other day I was too much of a little bitch to admit it.” I explained & a wide smile spread across his face, before he looked down at my large hands holding the gifts. He frowned for a moment & my confidence hit the floor. He hates it. I felt my cheeks heating up & I bit my lip, lowering my hands slightly as I looked away. Emma was just staring at us blankly & Hannah & Ellie were giggling between eachother, not paying attention. 

 

    “Gray,” James said & I slowly turned to look at him, “I love it. But you didn’t have to do this.” Was his response & I sighed, slumping into the seat slightly. So he is only upset that I spent money on him? “I felt bad, you didn’t deserve the way I treated you the other day.” I explained & he rolled his eyes, smiling. He moved his hands under mine, brushing the back of them softly before accepting the note & pallet filled with many colors. He admired the expensive makeup pallet & a smile dance around the corners of his lips. He then set both items onto the table next to the grey lunch tray & surprised me by pulling me into his embrace, a warm hug surrounding me. I grinned widely & hugged him back, stuffing my face into the crook of his neck & breathing in his signature scent that I had missed. I felt him place a hand in my hair, softly pulling me closer. “Do you wanna hangout tonight?” I mumbled against his hoodie & felt him nod against me. “Where at?” He asked, starting to pull away from the hug & I pouted, not budging. “My place?” I suggested as he chuckled & moved back in to hug my stubborn self. “Sure, needy child.” He responded, referring to my want of his comforting touch. I felt him yet again try to pull away from me but this time I let him, sighing & situating myself back into my seat comfortably. Just in time as well, considering the bell just rang throughout the hollow lunchroom. James began to stand up along with Ellie & Hannah since they all had the same period nest & I stood up as well. “Bye daddy.” James said, sarcasm dripping from his voice as he fluttered his fingers at me before turning around to walk away with the two girls. Usually he would make the ‘daddy’ comment towards me as a joke but now….tell me why a certain part of my body twitched slightly.  _ Jesus _ . What’s wrong with me? I shook my head, looking over at Emma since I always walked her to her class after lunch. I opened my mouth in slight shock, seeing Emma sound asleep on the lunch table with her lips parted slightly as she slept peacefully. Her uneaten salad sitting next to her head. Why was she so tired? 

 

    I walked around the small lunch table, pushing past a few jumbling students & standing infront of where Emma sat in her slumber. I tapped her shoulder lightly. “Em, wake up sleepy.” I said & she shot her head up slowly, eyelids half shut as she looked around & then rubbed her eyes. “What?” She asked groggily, eyebrows furrowing as she looked up at me. “Come on, you have Science.” I explained & she stood up, pushing her chair away with scrunched up & confused eyes. She then pulled the hood up on her hoodie & walked alongside me slowly, making her way with me to her Science class. “Why are you so tired?” I popped the question as we walked & she sighed while blinking slowly. “I came over to your place early in the morning,” She started & yawned in between, “since Ethan was uh-“ She stopped for a moment as if she was debating something in her tired brain. “He neede–demanded that I help him study.” She finished raspily & I bobbed my head up & down, half believing her. Of course fucking Ethan is being a bitch towards her again. 

 

    We finally reached her classroom as students were bustling in & as we waited for an opening to go into the classroom Emma looked like she was falling asleep as she stood, her head resting to the side & her posture slumped. “Emma.” I announced loudly as I clapped my hands together & she jumped, looking at me with tired eyes. I tugged her hood off as I shoved her gently into her classroom, not wanting her to get in trouble for the rule of not being able to wear hoods. I watched cautiously as she stumbled to her desk & sat down in the hard chair, sagging against If & shoving her hands in the pocket of her hoodie. I sighed, turning around to walk down the hallway to my own next period. Hopefully she’d be fine.

  
  


**Emma Pov.**

 

    Turns out that after I fully woke up & realized I was in Science class, we were only watching a documentary on ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid or whatever. I didn’t pay much attention, using the darkened classroom as my chance to sneak in a short nap. But, now I was home & if I’m being honest I kind of felt sick. I immediately changed into a thin T-shirt instead of my warm hoodie since I felt really hot for no reason. Maybe it’s just me being paranoid but I keep coughing & have a slightly sore throat that won’t go away. I decided to ignore it though as I opened the cloud white fridge, hunching over as I searched for something to eat. Nothing looked good though & I sighed as I shut the fridge door to move onto the wooden cabinets. I flipped through a few before giving up, coming up empty handed again. I decided I would just take another nap as I head towards the staircase.

 

    Then I heard it, the front door slamming shut loudly causing me to almost jump out of my skin. I stopped in my tracks as I heard heavy breaching & I peeked my head around the corner of the wall, squinting & trying to see. “Uh, dad?” I called out, receiving no response. It was silent for a few moments but then I heard a small chuckle coming from the kitchen table & I inhaled deeply, walking into the kitchen’s light & seeing my dad’s hunched posture over a large bottle of whiskey as he sat tensely at the wooden table. No, no, no, not again. Fuck, not again, he’s drinking again. “Come here Emma.” I heard him say lowly & I was about to dash back toward the stairs but he cut of my predictable actions with his words, “Run and it’ll only make it worse. But you could run, just like your mother decided to do. And we all know how that worked out for her….falling in love with a druggie and basically killing herself by just being around his toxic personality.” He gritted out & I froze in place at the mention of my deceased mother, eyes welling with tears at the thought of the sweet woman that raised me for only a few years. Why was my dad always comparing me to her? 

 

    I suddenly heard him slam his hand down onto the table & I let out a small noise of surprise. “D-dad?” I questioned him, hoping to bring back some humanity in his cold eyes. “Get. Over here. Now.” I heard him grit out & I gulped, swallowing my fear as I slowly walked over to the place where he sat silently at the table. “D-dad I–“ I started to apologize but was cut off by him turning around sharply in his seat & back handing me across the face. I winced loudly as tears formed in my eyes, holding my throbbing cheek with my shaky hands. I stared at my so called “dad” through blurry eyes & watched as his facial expression  suddenly changed when he heard me let out a noise of pain. A look of realization crossed his fade & he looked down at his hands before looking back up at me & standing up, causing me to flinch & take step back. He shook his head. “Emma? Emma I’m so sorry, oh my god I did it agai–“ He began to ramble but I cut him off by yelling, “You promised you wouldn’t! You promised you wouldn’t ever hurt me again!” He held a blank expression for a moment & then he reached out his hand to touch my face but I flinched away again. His mouth dropped open slightly. “I’m so sorry.” He stated but I barely heard his pitiful voice as I turned around & quickly ran down the narrow hall, sprinting out the front door in a fit of sobs.

 

    I ran & ran, not looking back once as I darted away down the sidewalk. My lungs burned as I couldn’t get enough air in between letting out sobs & trying to inhale while running. The cold winter air pricked against my exposed arms as it blew past me, considering I was only wearing a thin T-shirt. Why does it seem like every dad is like this? My thoughts drifted to Ethan, the boy who was broken inside all because of his father. I hoped his father wouldn’t touch him again, he doesn’t deserve it even if he did used to beat  _ me _ daily. Sean shouldn’t touch him again though, my threat seemingly scared him slightly now that he knows I know. 

 

    I eventually stopped running once I thought I had gotten a good distance away from my house, wiping my eyes clear of their tear-blurred vision as I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. I wrapped my cold arms around myself as I spun around while stumbling slightly, wondering where I was located. The area looked familiar but I couldn’t seem to wrap my mind around it as I bent over to let out a few horrible coughs. My nose ran as I stayed bent over, coughing out some more raspy noises. I stood back up straight & felt slightly dizzy. I was definitely sick. I wiped my nose with numbed arm as I continued to walk, eyes threatening to cry again as I remembered the reason why I was even walking out in the frozen air. Cars drove past me, making even more wind blow my way & I coughed harshly again as I continued to walk without a destination.

 

    “Emma?!” A voice suddenly yelled from next to me & I turned with my numb arms wrapped around myself still, seeing Ethan with the window of his sports suv rolled down as he stared at me in shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *graymes shippers cheer* lolol. HOPE U ALL HAD A HAPPY NEW YEAR!! leave ur thoughts on this chapter or requests u have for this book in the comments por favor. aLsO leave ur New Years resolution lol. mine is to lose weight. i feel like a hippo compared to the sticks at my school lol. ok thx for coming to my note talk. lyyyyyyyyy. <3333


	18. EIGHTEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup hoes. THERE IS SMUT LITERALLY RIGHT AWAY & ITS GAY AS FUCK JUST LETTING U KNOW!! i put the graphic content warnings for where it starts & ends tho. also i suck at writing it & didn’t want to but my friend made me so rip. enjoy ig.... :)

***GRAPHIC CONTENT STARTS***

 

**Grayson Pov**

 

James’ plump lips moved quicker against my heavily panting ones as I pushed us towards my bedroom, not breaking the heated kiss. I honestly don’t even know how this happened, one moment James came over & we were peacefully watching a movie. Now we were making out like our life depended on it.

 

    I kicked the door to my bedroom shut behind us & felt James tangle his hands into my hair, causing a small moan of surprise to come out of me. He turned us around, smiling against my lips before pushing me & my back suddenly hit the cold wall with his warm body still pressed closely against me. I broke the kiss, breathing heavily as I tried to catch my breath. He just tilted his head down & began planting kisses down my jaw & the side of my neck before tugging the collar of my shirt down slightly, exposing my collarbones. He  attached his lips to my left collarbone, sucking harshly on the skin as I let out strained noises of pleasure & tilted my head back against the wall to give him more access. He dragged his lips lightly across my heated skin as he then moved to the base of my neck, beginning to suck another dark mark & I let out a low moan as my hips bucked involuntarily. I felt him smirk against my skin, knowing he had found my sweet spot. 

 

    I twisted my fingers into James’ shorter hair & pulled his face back up to meet mine, smashing our lips together in a more needy & lust filled kiss. I moved my right hand up to the back of his neck & placed my left hand on the small of his back, pressing our bodies as close together as possible. We both let out a surprised gasp of ecstasy as the sudden motion caused our growing hard-ons to have friction between each other. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss as I felt his warm hand slip under my shirt & roam around my toned chest. He pulled away from my lips slowly, dragging his teeth out on my bottom lip hotly. I stared at him for a moment, his hair messed up, lips swollen & cheeks flushed red. 

 

    I couldn’t help myself, ignoring my lack of oxygen as I crashed our lips back together again. James let out a small noise of pleasure & moved closer if even possible, his tongue dancing with mine as we fought for dominance over one another. I gasped & moaned loudly against his lips when I suddenly felt his hand dip tauntingly low into my boxer briefs under my joggers. He smirked against my lips before pulling away & dropping his head down to leave a lingering open mouthed kiss in my jaw as he then sat down onto his knees. I panted heavily & stared down at him, watching intently as he hooked his fingers onto the waistband of both my joggers & boxer briefs, pulling them down together quickly. I shivered & let out a small moan when the cold air hit my throbbing manhood. He moved to press his lips openly against my deep v-line, sucking a few dark marks into the tanned skin there. I let out small noises of pleasure as he slowly sucked & nipped his way down towards where I most wanted him to pay attention to. I watched with want as he then wrapped his slender fingers around me & then began to pump his hand up & down, making me throw my head back against the wall in pure pleasure. My mouth dropped open, moaning silently as he pumped his hand faster around me. 

 

    I felt James stop his movements with his hand suddenly & I was about to look down at him & protest until I suddenly felt his lips wrap around my aching member & I moaned extremely loudly at the sensation, twisting my fingers tightly into his hair as I guided his mouth. He bobbed his head up & down, swirling his talented tongue around me. “Fuck,” I moaned loudly as I felt myself hit the back of his throat, shutting my eyes tightly. I could feel myself getting closer & I wasn’t gonna last long, considering I hadn’t gotten laid in awhile. 

 

    James continued to move his head up & down while dragging his teeth lightly against my sensitive skin, making me a moaning mess as I writhed against the wall. My member hit the back of his throat again & he gagged slightly, sending vibrations onto my skin & causing me to scream quietly as my hips involuntarily bucked into him again. I felt him place his hands on me so that his thumbs were resting on my hip bones, pressing me tightly against the wall to keep me from choking him involuntarily. My stomach started to knot up & I felt a familiar feeling pool in in my lower stomach, blood pulsing straight to my swollen manhood. I tugged in his hair blindly. “I’m c-close.” I stuttered out incoherently but he didn’t remove his mouth from around me, causing me to moan loudly as he took my deep into his throat than ever before. I felt him gently drag his teeth against the sensitive vein on the bottom of my manhood & I screamed loudly, my legs shaking as my vision went white & I came down his throat. 

 

    I breathed heavily, feeling James pull his mouth off of me & wipe the small amount of drool that pooled on his lower lip, staring up at my shivering posture that was still recovering from the orgasm that had just ripped through me. He stood up & moved so he was pressed close against me again, grabbing my jaw gently & bringing me in for a passionate kiss as stars still danced under my closed eyelids. I tilted my head & took his bottom lip in between my own, sucking lightly to continue the heated kiss. I pulled away from his flushed lips & ducked my head down into his neck, attaching my lips to the skin on his pulse point & biting down softly. He moaned at the action & dragged his acrylic nails down the back of my shirt as I continued to bite & suck all around his neck. I dragged my tongue up the side of his neck, stopping at the bottom of his ear & leaning in close so our cheeks were pressed together. I pressed a kiss to the shell of his ear which made him let out a small noise.

 

    “Your turn.” I whispered into James’ ear & felt him shudder against me.

 

***GRAPHIC CONTENT ENDS***

 

**Ethan Pov**

 

My hand rolled smoothly over the steering wheel as I turned the corner of the street, the clicking of the turning signal going silent as the turn completed. My mom had sent me to go get groceries, seeing as her & my father were out on a date night tonight. Pathetic. My sweet & caring mother has no fucking idea what her “perfect” husband is doing to his own child right under her nose. My mood dropped at the thought. Why was  _ I  _ the imperfect child? Not Grayson or Cameron? Also why couldn’t my mom send Grayson to go grocery shopping, he always does & he knows how to do it correctly. But it’s probably just because he’s having some friend that I don’t know over or something. I mentally shrugged, sighing at that question that replayed in my mind.

 

    I looked out onto the frosty street where I was headed & saw on the sidewalk a slim girl walking with a thin t-shirt on & blue skinny jeans that actually looked a lot like–Emma’s…. _ a lot  _ like hers. The girl had a hunched & tense posture with her arms wrapped around herself, she was shivering like hell. I slowly released my foot off of the gas pedal as I came to a slow stop next to the girl’s trembling figure, she continued walking without noticing my large pitch black ‘Range Rover’. “Emma?!” I called out, in disbelief as her flushed head snapped to the side to look at me. It was Emma, her messy bun blown around from the wind. What the fuck was she doing walking in the freezing cold with only a thin t-shirt on?! My furrowed face shifted to a more softer look as I realized there were dried tears on her reddened face, her nose being a bright red as well as she stood there shivering & staring at me without a word. She looked like shit. I thought she was just trying to see who I was through the wind blowing harshly against her face & that’s why she wasn’t responding, but then she bent over only to let out a horrible choking/coughing noise.  _ Jesus _ . 

 

    I shifted the gear into park & opened my car door, rushing out into the cold air & over to Emma’s coughing & hunched figure. “Emma?” I asked worriedly, touching her icy shoulder. She flinched away & snapped her head up to look at me through bloodshot, fearful eyes. I heard a car honk from behind me & turned to see somebody into their own car that sat behind mine, flipping me off for leaving my car in the middle of the road. I rolled my eyes & turned to look back at Emma, who was staring at the ground while she sniffled continuously. Was she sick? “What are you doing out here, it’s fucking freezing?!” I exclaimed loudly, wrapping my own arms around myself & squinting through the wind at her. “I–I….” She stammered out, trailing off & I could practically hear her teeth chattering without having to be right next to her. She stared at me with unreadable yet hurt eyes for what felt like a few minutes before her face fell slowly & a tear escaped her eyes as she let out a quiet sob, collapsing to the ground & hitting the cold cement as she curled into a fetal position while crying quietly. My eyes widened & I hesitated, not knowing what to do. Emotional breakdowns weren’t my suit, I didn’t know how to deal with them. I looked down at Emma’s crying, cold, flushed & shivering body on the grainy cold surface of the cement & sighed. Fuck it, I’ll do whatever feels right. 

 

    I quickly reached behind my back, grabbing the fabric of my warm hoodie & pulling it off over my head. I bunched it up neatly in my bands & leaned down, pulling Emma’s shaking body up into a sitting position as I slipped my hoodie over her head & around her small frame. She pushed her arms through the holes of the long sleeves & buried her face into her hands as she sobbed some more. I moved closer & pulled her into as warm hug of a hug as possible, considering I only had a T-shirt on now. “Hey, it’s okay,” I started & just went with saying what she would usually say to me, “what’s wrong? What happened?” She just shook her head against me & let out another painful sob, squeezing her arms tighter around my. I wrapped my shivering arms tighter around her crying figure as well as we sat silently on the cement in the middle of winter. What the fuck happened?! 

 

    I eventually stood up & then leaned down to carefully scooped Emma’s crying body up into my arms bridal style, leaving the cold cement behind us as I walked easily back towards the warmth of my car. She buried her sobbing face into my shirt & wrapped her cold hands around my neck as I carried her. I shivered at the contact of her frigid fingers around the back of my neck, she really was fucking freezing. I walked straight to the drivers side of my shiny car, carefully getting into my seat & sliding her down into the passenger’s seat. I reached over to buckle her but she just flinched away & I frowned, my heart contracting at thought of her being scared of me again? I retracted my arm away from her shaking figure, watching her for a moment as she took in unsteady breaths. I slammed my car door shut & shifted the gear into drive, turning around & heading back towards the house as the only sounds that filled the silent car was her quiet sobs & sniffles.

 

I frowned sadly, looking down at a crying Emma who I was carrying in my arms bridal style again. I kicked the front door to my house shut behind me & adjusted my grip on her as I walked down the hallway, through the open area of the kitchen & towards the staircase. She stuffed her face further into my white shirt & let out a shaky sob, she had been crying for around the past twenty minutes straight. I couldn’t get her to stop, she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I peeked into the living room, not seeing Grayson or his friend that he had invited over. Must be in his room. Emma slightly dug her nails into the back of my neck as more of her tears stained my shirt. “It’s okay, shh.” I whispered to her as I walked up the stairs carefully. I headed to my bedroom, padding quietly across the hallway as I pushed my already cracked opened door more open. I kicked it shut behind me & flicked the light on with my shoulder as I brushed it against the wall. I stepped over to my bed & sat down on it, keeping Emma in my arms & leaning against the headboard of my bed as I loosened my grip only slightly on the sobbing girl in my arms. She let out another painful cry as her face scrunched together & her lips parted in sadness, hot tears rolling over & over down her cheeks. She inhaled sharply & shakily, trying to catch her breath only to let out another breathy sob. I cupped her tear-drawn face in between my large hands & turned her face to look at me. “Emma, calm down.” I tried to soothe. She started choking on her breath, pulling my hands away as she gasped for air from crying too much. I fucking sucked at this comforting thing.

 

    “Emma, hey, shh breathe it’s okay. It’s okay.” I tried again, moving my hands back onto Emma’s cheeks & she flinched as my calloused skin made contact with her smooth cheekbones. “Breathe. In and out slowly.” I whispered quietly, trying to make my voice sound as soft as possible. I rubbed my thumbs against her reddened cheeks & stared into her pained sapphire eyes with sympathy. Her breath hitched repeatedly as she continued to try & breathe normally. I pulled her head slowly against my chest, stroking her her back as gently as I could manage. I leaned my chin against the side of her face. “Breathe.” I whispered in her ear & she sniffled into my shirt, turning her head to the side & attempting to slow her breathing. “Remember what you always tell me? ‘It’s okay Eth, you’re okay. I’m here.’ And how I would always believe that? I need you to believe that for me right now Emma, calm down, you’re okay. I don’t know what happened but you’re safe here.” I promised & clenched my jaw fearfully, waiting & hoping for her breathing to become normal again. She let out another choked sob against me as she tried to inhale slowly. Comforting was clearly not in my range of talents. “You’re oka–“ I started to say but was cut off by the door to my bedroom swinging open & Grayson snapping his heads towards me with a questioning look before an angry expression crossed his face as his eyes flicked down at me to look at Emma. 

 

    “What the fuck did you do?!” Grayson yelled & before I could process what was happening, he stepped over towards my bed & tore Emma off of me to pull her into his embrace. Emma let out a loud cry & her face scrunched up as she cried more, pushing against Grayson weakly. So weakly that Grayson didn’t even notice she was trying to get away. I immediately stood up off of my bed. “What the fuck did  _ I  _ do?! I didn’t do fucking anything now let her go, you’re scaring her!” I yelled & Emma flinched, making my heart drop for a split second. “Bullshit! You’re always fucking pushing her around and no I’m not giving her ‘back to you’! In your fucking dreams!” Grayson yelled out, pulling Emma tighter against him as she sobbed more. He needed to quit fucking yelling. I moved towards him quickly & he pulled Emma behind him as she stumbled. “Fucking touch her, I dare you!” He shouted, making Emma flinch from behind him as she hiccuped through tears. I felt my blood boil with anger as I moved & lunged at Grayson, tackling him to the ground. “Stop fucking yelling! You’re scaring her!” I gritted out as I pinned his arms down. “Get the fuck off of me Ethan! I’m not scaring her! You’re the one that fucking made her cry somehow!” Grayson continued to yell from under me & kneed me in the stomach, causing me to groan as he flipped us over & punched me across the face. I caught his fists as he tried to hit me again, shoving him off of me & slamming him against my dresser. “I did not make her cry you fucking idiot! I found her in the middle of the sidewal—“ I started to curse but was interrupted by him shoving me away from him as he lunged forwards to tackle me down again. My back hit the floor painfully & I looked over at Emma who was watching us with fearful eyes, crying loudly & even more now as he backed away. 

 

    “Fucking liar! You always hurt her for no reason! She’s my best friend and I’m not letting you do this to her anymore!” Grayson yelled in my face & pinned my arms down above my head with one hand, keeping my legs pressed against the carpet as he pinned them both down in a painful position with his knee. “What. Did. You. Do?!” He asked, yelling as he wrapped his other hand around my throat tightly. Nothing new. Whenever we would used to wrestle he would always go for my throat, trying to choke me out. He was never able to though, I never let him have the chance to pin my arms down until now. I writhed against his grip, losing my air. “I–nothing! Gra–ai-r!” I choked out as my vision started to darken. My eyes glanced over at Emma & I let out a raspy sound as my movements against my twin got weaker. “Tell me.” Grayson gritted out from above me & if I could sigh in annoyance I would, but I felt my eyes roll into the back of my head as my vision dotted & faded away slowly while Grayson’s hand tightened around my windpipe.

 

    “G-gray stop! Please!” I heard somebody cry out faintly & I felt myself about one second away from losing consciousness when I felt the hand around my throat suddenly release me. I gasped & my eyes snapped open as I sat up, coughing & breathing heavily as I tried to get the air flow back into my lungs. I felt somebody suddenly jump onto me, wrapping their small arms around me & I blinked quickly to be able to see. I looked down & saw Emma wrapped around me as she cried extremely loudly & raspily into my shirt. “E. I–I don’t know what to d-do. Please stop f-fighting.” I heard her sob out against me & I wrapped my arms back around her as I leaned back against my wall, looking up at Grayson who was fuming with confusion & anger. “As I was saying before you decided to attack me,” I said while glaring at him & my voice sounded blown out from losing air, “on the way to the store I saw Emma walking in the freezing cold while crying and I helped her.” Grayson clenched his jaw, staring down at his best friend in my arms. He just glanced up at me with cold eyes, shooting me a cautious glare before storming out of my room & out into the hallway. 

 

    I moved my head down against Emma’s now silent one, tracing my fingers against her back as soothingly as I could onto the thick fabric of my hoodie that was on her. She was only sniffling slightly now against me as I moved my fingers around on her back. Was this comforting her? I sighed in relief that she had calmed down. I heard Grayson’s door slam shut loudly from down the hallway & I sighed, feeling Emma flinch at sound of Grayson’s reckless attitude. She lifted her head up momentarily & moved it from my chest into the crook of my neck, laying one side of her face against my shirt. I felt her cold fingers suddenly against my throat, brushing a gentle pattern in certain places. “He left marks.” She said quietly, so softly that I almost had to strain my hearing to hear her. “It’s okay. ‘Happened before.” I explained quietly & she sighed still a little shakily, stopping the movement of her fingers & tucking her cold hand under her chin as she got comfortable. I continued tracing random patterns with my fingertips onto her back for a few peaceful moments. My cheek was starting to sting from where Grayson punched me & my stomach was slightly sore. It was honestly shocking how protective Grayson was over Emma. He was almost never as violent, he must care a lot about his best friend. It was kind of funny, he didn’t even know what was sometimes happening to her at home with her fathe–wait. Shit, was she walking in the freezing cold because of her dad?! Did he do something? Hit her again?!

 

    I looked down at Emma, who’s breathing seemed to have evened out now & her chest was rising evenly against mine. “Tell me what happened.” I mumbled quietly & as calmly as possible, continuing the motion of my fingers on her back. She didn’t respond & I was about to push my limits by asking her again but then she moved her face slightly & let out a soft snore. I groaned quietly & sighed.

 

    Emma fucking fell asleep on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DONT YELL AT ME BC ITS SHORT!! i was sister struggling with homework this week & im stressed. :)) ly all thoooooooooo. see u next thursdayyyy. remember to smile. ily. <3


	19. NINETEEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh hey sissies. enjoy, i spent the past two hours making this chapter bootiful. :)

**Emma Pov.**

 

My whole body felt hot, yet I had the shivers of coldness at the same time. I blinked my eyes open slowly, my eyelashes getting stuck together slightly from...crying earlier. I looked around slightly & saw that I was lying on top of a sleeping Ethan, who looked very uncomfortable by the way his back was bent between the floor & the wall. I could feel two large spots on my back that felt like they were burning, but not painfully. I realized those two spots were Ethan’s large hands once I shifted how I was laying. I looked up his face. His lips were parted peacefully as he slept but his eyebrows painted a stressful expression onto his tanned face. Memories from what happened earlier in the day & what had led up to this moment flooded my mind. My father, walking in the cold without a destination or a hoodie, Ethan picking me up & trying to comfort me, Grayson & Ethan….fighting. I sighed when I remembered the fight that the twins had. Ethan seemed to not be close with Grayson in the first place, but now that Grayson practically choked him out….he probably hated his brother with a passion. Grayson had just misinterpreted what was happening & immediately jumped to the old conclusion of his twin hurting me.

 

    I slowly sat up on Ethan’s lower stomach, removing his large hands from my back gently & placing them onto his chest. I carefully stood up over him in the dark room & a wave of nausea flooded through me, causing me to gasp & stumble back so that I landed on the edge of Ethan’s bed. I felt sick. I put my hand over my mouth, making sure I wasn’t gonna puke. It didn’t feel like I was going to, I just felt shitty & like I’d been hit by a bus. I felt comfortably warm though. I looked down at the sleeve of my hoodi–Ethan’s hoodie? I tilted my head down at myself & saw that I was I indeed wearing Ethan’s white ‘Playboy’ hoodie. I brought the back of my hand up to feel my forehead, touching the heated skin. I didn’t feel good at all. My stomach churned & my eyes widened in realization as I stood up hastily from Ethan’s bed & stumbled quickly out into the hallway, my shoulder slamming against the door to Ethan’s room. I ignored the loud sound echoing through the hallway & darted to the bathroom, falling onto my knees to empty my stomach out into the porcelain toilet. My hands gripped the sides of the toilet bowl tightly as the skin on my knuckles turned white. I breathed heavily as another wave of bile rushed up my throat, tilting my head down toward the water again. 

 

    “Emma?!” I heard a raspy voice exclaim from the doorway of the bathroom & I groaned as I sat back against the side of the bathtub, looking up at Ethan. His dark hair was messy & disheveled as he stared at me with his eyebrows furrowed. This is so fucking embarrassi–“Ethan get the fuck out!” I yelled as I felt myself about to puke again, leaning back over the toilet as stressed tears spilled down my flushed cheeks. I suddenly felt a pair of hands brushing my hair back & I tried to shove him away, being embarrassed but he wouldn’t budge. My stomach felt utterly empty. I flushed the toilet & sniffled, leaning back against whatever was behind me, which just so happened to be Ethan’s legs. I moved away as he let go of my hair gently. I drew my legs up against my chest as I stared at the ground. I felt like shit. “You okay?” Ethan asked quietly, sitting down across from me on the tiled floor. I began nodding my head but then shook it, placing my hands under Ethan’s hoodie I was wearing so my slender fingers rested on my aching stomach. “I feel like shit.” I groaned out & let out a small dry chuckle, wiping the tears away from under my eyes. Ethan gave me a small smile, reaching his hands up to rub his eyes as his chest noticeably moved up & down rhythmically when he breathed. 

 

    It was silent in the small bathroom for a few moments before Ethan suddenly stood up & held his hand out for me to take, which I accepted hesitantly & he pulled me up as I stood on shaky legs from the adrenaline rush I had just witnessed. “Come on, we have some medicine in the kitchen I think. But you can brush your teeth a second if you want.” He explained, dropping his hand from mins & gesturing at the counter where my extra toothbrush sat for whenever I would hangout with Grayson. Speaking of Grayson, I wonder how he’s doing after Ethan yelled at him & the whole fight happened. I knew Grayson could actually be pretty soft & sensitive sometimes, but Ethan….not so much. 

 

    I didn’t realize Ethan had left the bathroom while I was deep in thought & I was left with my toothbrush in my hand as I stared at my flushed self in the mirror. I ran the toothbrush under the water that flowed out of the faucet in the sink & sighed to myself.

 

**Grayson Pov.**

 

    I moved my head & snuggled my face deeper into the crook of James’ neck as he scrolled through ‘Instagram’ with one hand & carded his fingers through my longer hair with his other. James was lying on his back as I laid on my side with my arms wrapped around his waist securely. It’s been around a half an hour since Ethan & I just fought & I want happy about it. I wanted to talk to my brother & Emma. I wanted to know what was going on. I also felt really bad, considering I did choke Ethan out & jump to the immediate conclusion that he was hurting my best friend.

 

    James clicked his phone off suddenly & turned on his side as he wrapped his arms around me as well to pull my larger frame closer. Ethan still didn’t know James was here. Nor did he know that we were now a couple basically. I wanted to tell Ethan that I’m bisexual but I’m just scared how he’ll react. He already acts like a homophobic piece of shit. “Stop overthinking.” I heard James state against my forehead & I groaned, shifting around so that I was lying on my back with my arms tucked behind my head as I stared at the ceiling. James moved so that his head was resting against my chest, the still wet spots on the fabric of his T-shirt chilling the bare skin of my lower stomach as my shirt rid up slightly. So maybe I’d had a mini stress attack after fighting with Ethan & cried against James for a little bit earlier. James had been listening to the whole fight, not wanting to interact for Ethan to see him & get even angrier. 

 

    “I'm not overthinking.” I lied & swallowed nothing as my eyes flicked around my room, debating what I wanted to do. James muttered a sarcastic remark against my shirt about my lie & I smiled, slapping his shoulder lightly as he let out a loud laugh. I grinned wider & jabbed my fingers into his rib cage, making him laugh his beautiful laugh harder. I stopped tickling him reluctantly & pulled him tightly against me, trapping him between my arms. “No let me go, you’re mean.” He stated with a dramatic gasp at the end of his sentence as he began shoving at my chest to get out of my hold. I didn’t budge & just held him tighter, laughing victoriously. He groaned & leaned against me, suddenly pinching my chest & I yelped as I let him go so I could rub at the now abused skin on the side of my chest. He grinned evilly & I gave him a fake hurt expression, causing him to glare at me. He then proceeded to roll his eyes & crawl back over to me, wrapping his arms around me & stroking my hair. “Oh my poor little crybaby.” He cooed sarcastically into my ear & I chuckled, cuddling him closer. I already love his company so much & we’ve only hung out once. I then decided I should talk to Ethan about this. About James & I….about me. It was now or never.

 

    I sighed & pulled away from James, looking into his honey-brown eyes as he smiled at me. “I should come out to Ethan today,” I stated & James gave me a hesitant look, “he’ll find out about us sooner or later so might as well tell him before he finds out on his own.” He nodded slowly while looking down at his nails that were picking at loose threads on the thick quilt that sat on my bed. I frowned. I could tell he didn’t want me to tell Ethan because he was scared of his reaction, especially considering how much of a bitch Ethan has been to him lately. I gently grabbed his chin & tilted his head up to be level with mine. “I won’t let him do anything to you I promise. Also Emma’s here and he seems to have an odd soft spot when she’s around.” I explained & watched as his eyes lit up at Emma’s name. I guess I forgot to tell him that she was the main reason I had fought with Ethan. “My favorite sister is here and I didn’t know?!” He exclaimed & clapped his hands together happily. I gave him a fake scowl at his word choice & he rolled his eyes while continuing to smile. “Sister sorry, I meant my  _ second  _ favorite sister.” He said while raising his eyebrows at me & I nodded in acception. “Okay I should go tell him before Emma leaves.” I stated & he nodded as his shorter hair bounced on his head. He leaned in close & placed a chaste kiss onto my lips before shoving me off of the bed into the direction of my door. I whipped around where I stood & gave him a confused look as he continued to stay seated on my bed. “You’re coming with.” I said bluntly & he shook his head back & forth quickly. “Jamessss.” I groaned & held my hand out for him, which he didn’t accept & instead he sat there pouting like a child. “I promise I won’t let Ethan do anything. Please come with me, I don’t wanna do it without you there.” I pleaded & he stared blankly at me for s few seconds before sighing & rolling his eyes as he grabbed my waiting hand to pull himself up. I smiled happily & pulled him close to me, making him blush through his light layer of makeup. I reached my larger hand down in between us & intertwined my fingers together with his as we walked out of my bedroom.

 

    After checking hesitantly in Ethan’s bedroom & not seeing any sign of him or Emma in there, we decided to head to the living room. I pulled James into the large open room & quickly dropped his hand from mine as I spotted Ethan & Emma on the couch. They were too invested in whatever show was playing on the tv to notice us at first. Ethan was sitting in a slightly tense position as Emma was surprisingly leaning on his shoulder looking exhausted as her eyes would blink slowly. She looked like shit to be honest. Her nose was a faint red color & looked like she had been blowing it over & over, her face was flushed & her hair was thrown in the sloppiest bun I had ever seen as she had our chunky-knit grey blanket covering her whole small body. Her eyes suddenly met mine & she held an unreadable expression on her face. “Gray?” She asked & her voice came out hoarse like she was sick. Was she? Ethan snapped his head in my direction once Emma mentioned my name & I ignored him, giving Emma a small smile. “Hey Em, how’re you feeling? You don’t look so good….” I said trailing off & Emma chuckled while nodding her head. “I know, I’m sick as a bitch.” She said curtly & I raised my eyebrows while laughing lightly. “Sister Emma?!” James exclaimed from behind me & I smiled as he ran over to the couch they were on, practically jumping on Emma as he hugged her. I watched as Emma gasped but then hugged James back while Ethan leaned away from them, his eyes on James with a disgusted expression. “What’s  _ he  _ doing here?” Ethan asked bluntly, pointing a tiny glare in James’ direction. Emma moved her leg from under her & kicked Ethan in the shin, making him gasp & look at her with an angry expression. “Stop it.” She said raspily to Ethan as James let go of her & walked back over to me, grabbing my hand & dragging me to the other couch that sat in the living room.

 

    James & I sat down closely on the leather couch, staring at Emma & Ethan who were staring back. “Uh-we need to talk.” I muttered & Emma nodded while Ethan grabbed the remote, clicking the tv off. The large room went silent & I sighed. “So I’ve been thinking lately….about myself..and I finally know my feelings,” I started & Ethan furrowed his eyebrows at me with a confused look, “I uh-I’m….” I bit the inside of my cheek anxiously. Why couldn’t I just fucking say it?! I felt James suddenly grab my hand gently & intertwine our fingers on the couch. “The fuck?” I heard Ethan say as he watched the gesture happen & I looked at James who gave me a comforting look, rubbing his thumb gently across my knuckles. I took a deep breath & looked up at Emma who had a small smiling dancing on the corner of her lips. 

 

    “I’m bisexual.” I announced bluntly & Ethan’s eyes widened.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

The living room went completely silent for a few moments after Grayson’s announcement, but then Ethan shot up from the couch. “What the fuck?!” He exclaimed & Grayson stared at him, only watching. “You are not. You don’t know your feelings Grayson, you’re just confused.” Ethan said while flinging his arms up in the air & walking back & forth in front of the couches. “Yes I do Ethan.” Grayson stated & I watched sadly as his eyes looked like they were filled with tears. “Why can’t you accept that? Accept me?” Grayson asked pointedly with a wavering voice & Ethan snapped his head towards him. “Because you aren’t thinking straight. You aren’t fucking gay, that’s bullshit!” Ethan said, raising his voice. “Ethan stop.” I tried to say but my voice came out quietly & he ignored me. Fuck this sickness affecting my voice. “Ethan please. Stop acting like such a dick.” James said while glaring at Ethan & moving closer to Grayson who looked like he was about to cry. Ethan gave him an incredulous look. “Why the fuck are you even here–wait a fucking minute….you’re not dating this fag are you?!” Ethan yelled out, looking in between them & I gasped in shock at his word choice. “Etha–“ I started but was cut off by Grayson. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about him like that! Maybe I am, so fucking what?” Grayson asked while standing up from the couch to move in front of James, his eyes filled with tears of anger now. Ethan scoffed. “That’s so fucking pathetic. Look at him Grayson! I don’t wanna see you turn into  _ that _ !” Ethan shouted & Grayson stepped forward, getting up in his face. “There’s nothing wrong with him! He’s absolutely perfect! You just can’t take the time to notice that’s because you’re too busy being an asshole!” Grayson gritted out & Ethan gave him a disgusted look, while shoving him back slightly. Grayson glared at him & moved right back to where he was before, this time closer. James sat on the couch like me while watching in shock as the twins continued arguing harshly. I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

 

    “I said don’t fucking talk about him like that!” Grayson suddenly yelled & I snapped my head towards him as he punched Ethan across the face, causing Ethan to lunge at his twin. Not fucking again. I shot up from my spot on the couch along with James as we ran over to the two that were mercilessly beating each other. “Ethan stop!” I yelped & grabbed his shoulders, attempting to yank him off of Grayson but he didn’t budge. I felt dizzy from both being sick & standing up so fast. “Grayson enough!” James shrieked in a feminine voice & grabbed Grayson’s bicep as he went for Ethan’s throat again. The brothers continued to yell & hit each other as James & I gave each other a look of urgency. Without thinking James suddenly jumped in front of Grayson & shoved Ethan away from them, causing Ethan to only get angrier & slap James across the face. I gasped & covered my mouth with my hand. “Get out of my fucking way bitch!” Ethan spat towards their direction & Grayson shoved a hurt James behind him protectively, jumping at Ethan again. “You don’t ever fucking touch him!” Grayson yelled while repeatedly punching Ethan across the face. Do they ever solve something without fighting?  _ Jesus _ . Ethan kneed Grayson in the stomach & flipped them over so he was punching Grayson instead. 

 

    I ran forward & grabbed Ethan’s face, cupping both of his cheeks & forcing him to look at me while he struggled to turn his head against my hardening grip. “Ethan stop!” I yelled as loudly as possible, but it only came out as my normal voice because of myself being sick. I felt his jaw clenched underneath my hands & he blindly wrapped one of his hands around Grayson’s throat as he glared. “Ethan, come on.” I pleaded & he didn’t budge as Grayson choked on his breath loudly. “Payback bitch.” Ethan stated maliciously & his eyes flicked towards Grayson. James screamed fearfully as he watched Grayson choke on air. “Ethan look at me,” I said softly & his eyes snapped to mine, “calm down.  _ Please _ . Don’t be that guy.” Ethan didn’t move his tightening hand around Grayson’s neck, continuing to stare at me. “Let go.” I said quietly, gently stroking his cheeks as his eyelids fluttered slightly. He removed his hand from his twin & I immediately pulled him into my arms, falling back against the bottom of the couch. Ethan fell against me & I kept my grip around him, stroking my hand through his hair as a habit. “Calm down.” I mumbled hoarsely to him as his chest heaved against mine with remaining anger. James sat across from us with Grayson, holding him tightly against his body as he whispered into his ear. “Are you done?” Grayson asked breathily with a hint of rudeness lacing through his voice as he pointed his question at Ethan. Ethan moved against me in my arms quickly & tried to lunge at Grayson. “Stop it. Both of you.” I said while holding Ethan tighter. “Emma, let me go.” Ethan muttered madly & pushed against my stomach in attempt of escape. I gasped & let him go as my hands flew to my stomach, a few tears forming in my eyes as I winced. I already felt sick & he just fucking made it ten times worse. Ethan stopped in his tracks & looked at me with wide eyes. “Emma oh my god, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to….” Ethan trailed off & he quickly moved back over to me, pulling me into his grip gently. I stared at the wall with a shocked expression as he hugged me & continued to apologize into my ear. I sighed as the ache in my stomach subsided slightly, resting my head against his heated body. I was exhausted.

 

    “Grayson...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things, I guess I’m just….shocked?” I heard Ethan say guiltily from above me as he messed with the hem of his hoodie I was wearing. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” Grayson stated from across the room & I sighed tiredly. 

 

    It was gonna be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD EXAMS THIS WEEK, IM SICK, ON MY FUCKING PERIOD & SIS IM EXHAUSTED. but it’s ok bc ur comments make me happy & ily all tysm for all of ur love. see u thursday. <3333


	20. TWENTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI SISSIES. THIS IS PROBABLY THE LONGEST CHAPTER IVE EVER WRITTEN & ITS ALL FLUFF & SOFT SHIT SO HOLD ONTO YOUR WIGS. enjoy. :))

**Ethan Pov.**

 

“I forgive you.” James said, accepting my muttered apology I had just made towards him from across the vacant room. Grayson & him were still hugging on the floor while Emma & I had moved to the couch again, her sitting across from me with her hands resting on her stomach. My eyes trailed up to her face, seeing as she was already looking back at me with a proud smile. Probably because the first kind words to James came out of my mouth. I heard a small sniffle & my head snapped towards Grayson & James, trying to figure out who it came from. Grayson shifted his head up only slightly while still keeping his mouth pressed into James’ shoulder. “Do you really think I’m disgusting?” I heard Grayson ask quietly as his voice was muffled by James’ shirt. My facial expression softened as I saw my twin brother’s heartbroken eyes peering at me. Fuck, I regret saying all of those things. “No, I was just angry. I didn’t know what I was saying….” I trailed off, not knowing if I was lying to myself about that statement. I honestly didn’t know what to think about Grayson liking his own gender. Grayson seemed unassured by my response as his body sagged further against James’. “Grayson I really didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. You’re not disgusting I promise, I just need...time to process all of this.” I explained & Grayson nodded against James as he softly ran his hand through Grayson’s hair in a comforting way. 

 

    A few moments passed before I decided to turn on the television again, wanting to rid the room of the awkward silence. I flicked through the channels as James & Grayson moved to go sit on the other couch to the side of Emma & I. I stopped on the channel that was playing ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’, it being a movie from Grayson & I’s childhood. I felt Grayson’s intent eyes on me as he recognized the movie. I almost smiled at the memory of Grayson, my father & I watching this movie every time around the holidays. Where did the good times go? That movie meant everything to our twelve-year-old-selves until something changed in our father & he decided to start abusing his own son for no apparent reason. My smile turned to a frown as I remembered why I wasn’t as happy as much anymore.

 

    The movie was suddenly interrupted as the channel got taken over by the news channel. The fuck? My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the news channel spokesperson appeared on the screen & began to talk with a serious look on his face. “Attention, we will be experiencing high levels of winds tonight and extreme amounts of a mix between snow and hail. We advise you to stay inside and stay  _ off  _ of the roads. If you’re away from home book a hotel closest to you for the night, the roads are extremely dangerous as they are coated with ice. We have yet to know when this snow storm will pass. Stay safe and stay warm.” The brunette guy with a cheap grey suit explained. I sighed as the channel flicked back to the movie, looking over at Emma. “I guess you guys are staying the night.” I stated, referring to both Emma & James. James gasped & clapped his hands together loudly, making a dazed Grayson jump. “Ah, a sister sleepover!” James exclaimed & I rolled my eyes, biting my cheek as hard as possible so I wouldn’t laugh. Emma just nodded, pulling the chunky knit blanket tighter around her small body & shivering. It was pretty cold in here now that I think about it. Was the heater on?

 

    “Grayson can you go check if the heater is working please?” I asked & Grayson turned his head to look at me with an odd expression. “What?” I asked as James also stared at me oddly. “You just said  _ please _ .” Grayson dragged out dramatically & I frowned while rolling my eyes. Emma sniffled a chuckle. “Who are you and what have you done with Ethan? Because you can keep him, I like you way more. You actually have….manners!” James announced & Grayson bursted out laughing as I scowled at them. “You’re also hotter than Ethan, did you style your hair differently than his or something?” James continued & Emma laughed loudly as Grayson stared at James with an offended expression, pouring & taking his arm away from around James’ shoulder. James laughed very femininely & poked Grayson’s cheek. “Don’t worry my poor child, you’ll always be way hotter than that douchebag.” James cooed while cuddling up to a fake pouting Grayson. “We look the same idiot.” Grayson muttered & James chuckled. “Yes, except you have a heart. Something Ethan lacks entirely.” James stated & Grayson grinned, letting a loud laugh escape his parted lips. “Ouch, that hurt.” I stated, pretending my heart hurt as I laid my hand over my chest. Emma was wheezing as she laughed, causing me to reluctantly chuckle a little loudly. Emma’s laugh was contagious.

 

    Grayson finally got up to check the heater after canoodling with James for a few minutes. I thrummed my fingers against the remote that rested in my lap, waiting for my brother to come back from the basement. I glanced up through my eyelashes at Emma who was watching the movie intently. “How’re you feeling?” I asked, causing her to move her eyes to meet mine with a small smile. “Way better.” She responded & I returned her small smile, nodding as well. I moved my gaze back to the movie playing on the screen. “Thank you, Ethan. For taking care of me” She continued & I flicked my eyes back to her. “Anytime.” I replied, sarcastically winking at her as she laughed & flipped me off. “The damn heaters broke. The cold weather conditions are messing with it’s outdoor connection on the side of the house or something. It’ll be a fun night  _ freezing _ to death.” Grayson suddenly said as he walked back into the living room, sitting back down by James & sighing as he wrapped his arms around him. “We’ll be fine, just gather up a ton of blankets to stay warm.” I answered, causing Grayson to raise his eyebrows in a disbelieving way. “Whatever you say, oh wise one.” Grayson said in a dumb voice, making quotation marks with his fingers. I rolled my eyes. “Shut up little dick, at least Ethan’s actually trying to help us instead of complaining.” Emma shot out at Grayson & his mouth dropped open in offense as James bursted out laughing. I stifled a chuckle with the back of my hand. “Emma,” Grayson whined, “you said you would stop making little dick jokes.” Emma shrugged & laughed along with us. “He’s definitely not a little dick.” James muttered quietly but everybody heard him. My jaw dropped open in shock & disgust, knowing what James’ comment meant. Grayson blushed a deep red & hid his face with a throw pillow on the couch. Emma raised her eyebrows & looked away from the couple while clearing her throat. “Y-you guys-....” I trailed off, speechless. James bit his glossy lip & laughed, throwing his head back against the couch as he found this situation so humorous. 

 

    “Alright James, come get blankets with me since these two lazy-asses won’t even go get them in their own house.” Emma rambled, standing up from the couch & smacking James in the side of the head as he wouldn’t stop laughing still even as he stood up & walked away with Emma. I chuckled as Grayson kept his flushed face hidden in the white pillow.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

“Emma you fucking bitch!” James yelled as I quickly ran out of the kitchen away from him & down the stairs all through the twin’s house. I held his phone in my hands as I read through the messages of his old ‘sexting’ session from a few months ago. I ran to the bathroom & locked myself in it as I sat on top of the sink, hearing James begin to bang on the door. This all happened after James & I had collected the blankets, giving them to the twins in order for them to set up the large cot on the floor as James & I went to grab some snacks. Then James left his phone unlocked so I decided to go through some of his messages with his old “lovers”. Which then led to me finding one of his ‘sexting’ sessions.

 

    “Emma I swear to God, I’m gonna fucking kill you when I get my hands on you!” James shouted while continuing to bang on the door & I laughed hysterically as I read the extremely old text messages aloud. “ _ Fuck I’m so hard right now. _ ” I read out & scrolled down to see what the other person James was texting said. “ _ Send n00ds _ .” I read aloud & snorted. “Who the hell texts nudes with two zeros?!” I said loudly, clapping my hands together as I laughed again. “He did! Now give me my phone before–“ James started to defend his past from the other side of the door but I scrolled down to where whoever he was texting sent a photo. “Oh my God it’s so tiny!” I yelled out while just about cackling from laughing so hard. “Emma!” James shouted. “I guess you won’t be able to handle Grayson’s dick up your ass if you got fucked by that microscopic thing!” I say as I open the bathroom door. I hand him back his phone & when I look at her, her eye twitches. “Looks like the Christian son needs Jesus!” I announce, referring to how hardcore Christian James’ family is compared to him. His mom is always trying to get him to go to church as he complained to me that one time at the football game. 

 

    “Let me get the fucking bible and beat the shit out of you with it!” James yells as he runs after me when I take off down the hallway. “Are you gonna read verses from the Bible as you beat me with it?!” I said loudly down the hallway as I continued to sprint away. James screeched dramatically. I swear there’s nothing funnier than pissing James off. It’s funny hearing his feminine voice argue & shriek. I stop running when I make it to Grayson’s room & I’m actually surprised when I see James run in with a bible in his hands. Oh yeah, Mrs. Dolan always keeps a bible on that one table in the hallway. Huh. How convenient. I quickly grab Grayson’s full water cup off of his nightstand & I begin to splash him with it. “The power of Christ compels you! The power of Christ compels you!” I yell numerous of times & he screams. When I stop splashing him with the water, his hair is dampened as his mascara runs & I laugh hysterically. “Emma...my makeup! What the fuck?” He exclaims. “Damn! I actually thought your head would twist all the way around like it did in American Horror Story!” I explained sadly & his eye twitched again as I allowed myself to fall back onto Grayson’s bed, sighing. “You play too much Emma.” James said while chuckling & I raised my eyebrow at him beginning to laugh. “Oh really? Because that guy you used to be talking wit–“ I started & he shushed me, causing me to giggle. “Don’t even fucking mention it. I’m gonna go to the bathroom to fix my hair and makeup because you screwed it up.” He stated & I smirked, sitting up on Grayson’s bed to look at him before getting an idea. “It’s not ruined, her just lemme clean up this one part under your eye.” I lied & stood up, walking over to him as he eyed me suspiciously. I gave him an innocent look & he sighed, leaning closer as I reached my hand up towards his face only wipe my fingers downward on his eyelashes as he squeezed his eyes shut so it wouldn’t hurt. His mascara & eyeliner smeared down his face, trailing behind my fingers & James screamed. “Emma!” He yelled & my eyes widened as I laughed, running out into the hallway as he chased me. I darted down the stairs & ran into the living room where the twins were setting up the large area of blankets on the floor. 

 

    “Save me from your rabbid boyfriend!” I shouted, referring to James as I ran behind Grayson & jumped onto his back, wrapping my arms & legs tightly around him. My weight didn’t faze Grayson at all as he gave me a confused look. James ran into the room while breathing heavily & giving me a death stare. I laughed loudly at how dumb his face looked with all the makeup smeared down it. Ethan laughed loudly & Grayson gasped. “What the hell did you two do?!” Grayson asked & I could tell he was trying not to laugh. “Emma went through my phone and fucked up my makeup!” James yelled as he charged at Grayson & I. 

Grayson moved out of the way, sidestepping his boyfriend & I laughed victoriously. “The guy James used to text had a smaller dick than yours and that’s saying a lot!” I exclaimed & James gasped in offense while Grayson stopped laughing. Ethan laughed loudly as he watched us. “That’s it.” Grayson said & dropped me off of his back making me fall on my ass, pointing a glare at him as I scrambled back up to my feet. “Sorry Emma, but I do recall telling you specifically  _ not  _ to make those jokes.” Grayson said while crossing his arms & then he gestured from James to me. This bitch. 

 

    “She’s all yours.” Grayson announced while smiling evilly as James ran at me. I shrieked & ran towards Ethan. “Protect me!” I shouted at him & he shook his head, moving away from me. “No thanks, I quite enjoy watching James chase you around.” Ethan stated as James & I continued to run around the room. I gasped at Ethan. “Fine. I guess you won’t be receiving any of my famous hugs anymore, seeing as I ‘quite enjoy watching you suffer’.” I said, mocking Ethan as James grabbed the hood on the hoodie I was wearing. I choked as I came to a stop, not expecting James to grab my hood like that. Meanwhile Ethan gasped at my response to his rude remark of not helping me. I reached around & grabbed a fistful of James’ hair, pulling it until he let go of my hood. I started running around again as James quickly trailed behind me again & then suddenly large hands were on my hips, picking me up & putting me on their shoulders. I smiled evilly down at James & placed my hands on Ethan’s head so I wouldn’t fall off of his shoulders, him placing his hands on my legs for more support. “Ethan!” James whined & I felt Ethan shrug under me. “Sorry Rainbow Dash, but I can't live without my hugs now.” Ethan explained & James scowled at him, trying to jump around Ethan & grab me. “Said no one ever.” Grayson said & Ethan laughed. I yelped & giggled as Ethan began to dance around James mockingly. James glowered at us & ran over to Grayson, whispering something in his ear before walking in front of his boyfriend & smirking at Ethan & I. Grayson picked James up the same way Ethan picked me up & sat him up on his broad shoulders as they walked towards us. James & I glared at each other as Ethan & Grayson laughed ya each other from below us. “Chicken fight!” I yelled out suddenly & Ethan ran at Grayson & James. I reached out to push at James & he did the same, ending up with us holding hands as we pushed each other back & forth. I laughed hysterically at his concentrated & ruined face. He really was pissed at me for fucking up his makeup.

 

    I got lost in my thoughts & James shoved me back, causing me to bend backwards as Ethan gripped my thighs tightly so I wouldn’t fall when the back of my head came in contact with his lower back. “Hey!” I yelled as James laughed loudly along with Grayson. “Ethan put me down!” I whined & he laughed from above me as he walked somewhere, my body starting to sway back & forth against his back. “Ethan!” I screeched as he spun around, causing my body to lift from his back slightly. “Put! Me! Down!” I yelled in between hitting his back. Ethan winced & I immediately stopped, guilt washing over me as I remembered how beat up he was around his torso. “Oh my God-I forgot I’m sorry!” I said quickly & cringed as I felt the blood rushing to my head from being upside down. Ethan didn’t move, but didn’t drop me either. I frowned. Shit. “Just kidding!” Ethan suddenly yelled which scared me & he continued to run around the house as my body bounced around. I groaned. “Ethan!” I whined again & he just continued to run wherever he could as Grayson & James laughed. I lifted my hand up & blindly brought it down as hard as I could, slapping Ethan’s ass which made him let out a noise of surprise as he dropped me onto the soft couch. I landed on the edge & slid off of the piece of furniture upside down, causing Ethan’s hoodie I was wearing to slide up & expose my sports bra along with my tanned stomach. I was laughing too hard to care but then I felt Ethan’s eyes on me as he stood a few inches sway & I felt my face go red when he continued to look at me blankly. I did a backwards somersault quickly & yanked the he, of the hoodie down over me, laughing anxiously. “Wait a damn minute,” Grayson said as he squinted his eyes at me, “isn’t that Ethan’s hoodie?!” My eyes widened & I swallowed my dignity as Grayson was also wide eyed, looking between Ethan & I. “Are you two dating?!” Grayson exclaimed & I shook my head back & forth quickly. “What? No!” Ethan & I outbursted at the same time & James gave us an odd look while Grayson shot his hands up in an act of surrender. “Okay, okay, I was just asking.” Grayson said slowly & I flashed him a wide smile while nodding slowly. Why did I feel so awkward?

 

    A few hours passed & we all decided it was time to get some sleep, considering the fact that it was around two in the morning when we finally simmered down. We all got comfortable on the large blanket area on the floor of the living room after Ethan suggesting it would be better if we ‘all slept in the same room’. Ethan slept on one end of the blanketed area with me next to him in the middle & then James was next to me & Grayson was next to James on the outside of the area. James & I laid on our sides, facing eachother. Grayson yawned obnoxiously loud from behind James & scooched closed to drape his muscular arm over James’ waist while tucking his face into the back of James’ neck. James rolled his eyes while smiling. “Goodnight.” Grayson muttered & we all said goodnight back. I felt Ethan’s leg brush against mine from behind me as he flipped his body over so that he was facing the other direction. 

 

    “Hey sister.” James whispered at me & I chuckled quietly. “Hi sis.” I responded, looking at James’ now cleaned up face. “We haven’t been able to actually talk in awhile, what’s been up with you?” James asked & I sighed loudly while rolling my eyes. “Family drama. Lots of it.” I answered & James pursed his lips while raising his eyebrows in agreement. Grayson started to let out soft snores from behind him & I chuckled lightly. “Wow you guys must have went pretty hard earlier if Grayson’s that tired.” I joked & James gave me a confused look before his face dropped & he slapped my shoulder lightly. “We don’t speak of my sex life.” James announced quietly & I wiggled my eyebrows at him playfully. He gave me a sarcastic smile. “What about you? Are you feeling better? You don’t seem too tired.” He stayed & I shrugged. “Yeah, I don’t know. I just felt really sick earlier but it just kind of disappeared after I threw up. Food poisoning maybe?” I suggested, trying to think about what I ate today. It could’ve been that spicy vegan burrito. James smiled at me before his face turned serious again. “Wait Emma,” He said slowly & I nodded for him to continue, “I don’t wanna jump to conclusions but….didn’t Ethan and you hit it off at that one party. I saw you two making out as you went into a room in Cameron’s house.” I felt myself blush at the regretful memory & nod slowly. What was he getting at? “Did you ever think-well it could...there might be a possibility of uh-” James stammered & I lowered my eyelids at him. “James just spit it out.” I whispered & playfully flicked his forehead. He inhaled deeply before looking me straight in the eyes. “What if you’re pregnant?” He bluntly asked & my eyes widened. “I hadn’t thought of that–no. I can’t be...Ethan..Ethan used protection I’m pretty sure. He’s done this with many other girls and they never got pregnant so there’s no way.” I assured either James or myself, I couldn’t tell anymore. I’m not pregnant. I laughed quietly to myself. That’s the dumbest prediction I’ve ever heard. “Well I don’t know if he used a fucking condom. Why don’t you ask him?” James whispered & I rolled my eyes at him. “James, if I can’t remember then he wouldn’t remember. Besides, I’m not pregnant. That’s ridiculous.” I stated & flipped around onto my other side so I wasn’t facing him anymore. I stared at Ethan’s back in the darkened room. “Okay well if you ever wanna check then just know there’s a pregnancy test in my backpack that I bring everywhere with me.” James explained from behind me & I rolled my eyes. “First of all like I said I’m not pregnant and second of all, what the actual fuck? You’re as straight as a damn spring, when would you ever need a pregnancy test if you only fuck guys?” I asked & heard James scoff behind me as I chuckled. “For times like this. To help a fellow sister in need. Also I don’t ‘fuck guys’, I only fuck one guy.” He announced quietly & I heard a small slapping sound as he slapped Grayson’s ass lightly. I cringed when Grayson didn’t show any signs of waking up. James laughed & I tried to hold my disgusted face, but ended up laughing as well. “Alright goodnight.” I said & James yawned before saying it back.

 

    I felt myself drift away to sleep as I stared at Ethan’s rising & falling back. I’m not pregnant. My eyes closed.

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

I woke up to obnoxiously bright sunlight shining into the living room, trying to turn on my side & face the other way but when I looked down at myself I saw Emma pressed against my chest with her head tucked under my chin. What the hell? I realized she had no blankets on her & I glanced over at James & Grayson, seeing that they did indeed have all of the blankets piled on top of themselves as they cuddle under them. “Emma.” I whispered & poked her shoulder. She didn’t move. “Emma.” I sang into her ear as I leaned down & she groaned lowly as she moved her head slowly, her eyelids opening lazily. “Wha-?” She asked seemingly talking to herself, before looking up at me & flinching back a few inches. “Sorry.” She said quickly & scanned my face over with her eyes, as if she was looking for a reaction out of me. “It’s fine, I don’t blame you. Considering that the love birds over here took all the blankets; you were probably cold.” I explained with a sleep-heavy voice & she nodded slowly, rubbing her face. We laid in silence for a few moments before her eyes widened suddenly & she gave me a quick smile before standing up. “I-uh I have to use the bathroom.” She rambled out & turned on her heel, sprinting out of the living room & down the hallway. Odd. I guess she really had to take a piss.

 

    A few minutes later & Emma came walking out of the hallway, but instead of heading back into the living room she walked over to the bottom of the staircase. I watched silently as she picked up James’ backpack that sat at the bottom of the stairs & she rummaged through it. What is she doing? She seemed to finally find what she needed as she pulled it out quickly & shoved it into the pocket of my hoodie she was still wearing. Okay, weird. Maybe she was just grabbing a pad or tampon because she was on her period. Why would James have those in his backpack though? He’s a guy. But then again, James is so unpredictable that he probably does carry stuff for periods around. I mentally shrugged. Emma dropped James’ backpack back onto the bottom stair & headed back down the hallway to the bathroom again I’m assuming. 

 

    I sighed & decided to get up & go take a much needed shower in the other bathroom that was closer to my room, considering Emma was using the spare bathroom that our family rarely uses. I stripped of all my clothed & turned the faucet in the bathtub on, turning the handle until the water was just below the temperature of burning hot. I pulled the small lever on top of the faucet & the water travelled up to the showerhead instead, raining down onto the empty tub. I turned on the fan that would prevent the bathroom from steaming up too much & stepped into the bathtub, closing the baby blue curtain behind me. I stood under the hot water with my head tilted back & closed my eyes peacefully, thinking about how moody Emma was probably gonna be since she was most likely on her period. I chuckled to myself as I reached for the shampoo on the bottom shelf in the tub.

 

**James Pov.**

 

“J-James.” I heard somebody say & I groaned, snuggling closer into Grayson’s body heat. Somebody shook my shoulder & I scrunched up my face in anger, before turning my head up to open my hazy eyes. My vision cleared its sleepy state away & Emma’s face came into focus. “Emma what do you want. I was enjoying a very nice dream about Grayson and I fuc–oh my God, what’s wrong sister?!” I whispered yelled, my voice coming out raspy from sleep as I saw Emma’s tear-stained face. “C-can we talk in the h-hallway?” She stuttered while sniffling & I nodded immediately, carefully unwrapping myself from Grayson’s tight arms as I stood up. I leaned down & placed a soft kiss onto his smooth forehead as he stirred only slightly in his sleep at the gesture. I looked down at our makeshift-blanket bed & noticed Ethan wasn’t sleeping in the spot he was last night. Wonder where he went off to. My thoughts were answered as I heard the shower water running in the bathroom. 

 

    I followed Emma down the hallway as she led me into Grayson’s room & shut the door behind us, locking it as well. “What’s wrong?” I asked softly & held my arms out as she accepted my hug, wrapping her arms around me tightly. She let out a sob against me & I hugged her tighter, gripping the material of Ethan’s hoodie she was still wearing. “What happened sister?” I whispered quietly & Emma shook against me. She shifted the position she was standing in & something poked me in the stomach through the pocket of the hoodie she was wearing. “Ouch, what’s in your pocket?” I asked & she looked up at me with heartbroken eyes. “Did Ethan do something? I swear to God I–” I started to assumed but she cut me off by shaking her head. “N-no it’s I-....” She stammered & reached down into the pocket of her hoodie as she leaned away from me slightly. “Close your eyes.” She said as her voice broke & I gave her a confused look but went with it anyway, closing my eyes hesitantly. I heard her sniffle & felt her grab my hand before gently placing a long plastic object onto my palm. She closed my fingers around it & my eyebrows furrowed. Did she get accepted at ‘Hogwarts’ & give me her fucking wand to hold or something? “O-okay, open your eyes.” She stuttered out & I opened my eyes, first looking at her as many more tears filled her eyes. I looked down at my and & unclenched my fingers form the object, revealing a pregnancy test. “Emma are you fucking pranking me?” I asked as I looked back up at her before reading what the test said. “No James, just fucking read the damn thing!” She yelled heartbrokenly & her voice cracked as tears spilled over her lower eyelids. I moved my eyes back down to the plastic device in my hands & read the results carefully;

 

_ Positive _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides behind doorway* pls don’t yell at me for the cliffhanger OML!! leave thoughts? ily all. <3


	21. TWENTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey bebes. enjoy. :))

**James Pov.**

 

“What?” I muttered out loud to myself & shook my head, blinking quickly before rereading the plastic device in my hands over & over.  _ Positive _ . The test read positive. Emma-Emma’s pregnant. Last night when I had suggested it to her I did it think it was actually the case, I just wanted to see her reaction honestly. But she’s actually pregnant?! “Y-You’re pregnant….with Ethan’s….?” I trailed off in a questionable tone as I tilted my head up to look at her crying figure. She nodded her head while closing her eyes tightly as her lips parted & she let out a shaky breath, more tears spilling over her bottom eyelashes. “Oh sister, come here.” I cooed & wrapped my arms around her as she shook against me with heavy sobs. “I-I’m not ready to b-be a mom, E-Etha–Ethan wouldn’t want a b-baby either.” She sobbed out into the fabric of my shirt & I frowned, cocking my head down & pressing my chin into her hair as I rubbed her back. “Shh, it’s okay. I don’t know about Ethan wanting a baby, he gives off mixed signals but I’m sure he’ll be supportiv–.” I began to reply & she cut me off quickly. “Don’t tell Ethan! H-He’s not gonna know.” She stated & sniffled into my chest. “You know, it’s not be the best option but you could always get an abortion if it’s not too late.” I explained quietly & she pulled away from me, looking at me with a shocked expression. “I-I would never kill such a-an innocent thing!” She cried loudly & I clamped my hand over her mouth. “Okay, okay, shh, it was just a suggestion.” I assured, pulling her back against my chest as she nodded her head slowly while sniffling more. “Ethan n-never finds out.” She mumbled quietly below me & I frowned at Grayson’s bedroom wall. “Emma–“ I began to object but she cut me off, “No James. Promise m-me. Promise me y-you won’t tell h-him.” I clenched my jaw as she let out a pained hiccup & looked up at me with heartbroken, watery eyes. “Or G-Grayson. I d-don’t want him knowing e-either.” She added. I sighed & cursed to myself. “I...I promise.” I said reluctantly. She suddenly pressed back against me, wrapping her arms around me tightly as she hiccuped against me. “Th-thank you.” She stammered out & I nodded sadly, my chin bobbing against the top of her head. “It’ll be okay, I’ll help you with whatever you need. Just call me or text me.” I said kindly & she nodded against me. “O-okay.” She muttered sadly & I frowned. Fucking Ethan & his weak ass pull out game. Or he was too fucking drunk to care. 

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

After my steamy & thoughtful shower I had dried off & thrown on some random joggers & a hoodie–which I think was Grayson’s but I don’t really care. It was comfortable & I was tired, that hot water from my shower making me drowsy. I made my way down the staircase, walking back down the hallway towards the living room. I entered in, stepping on the shaggy carpet & saw Grayson still asleep on the floor, now cuddling Emma’s pillow she had used last night. I moved my eyes over to the couch & saw Emma laying with James, wrapped around him tightly as they cuddled in a friendly way. I mean, what other way? James is the most gay person I’ve ever met & he’s made it pretty clear that he’s dating Grayson. Emma & James we’re watching some video on James’ phone that made James laugh quietly. Emma was still wearing my hoodie & looked comfortable against James as she looked over at me & gave me a small smile. Her face was slightly red as if she had been crying earlier, must just be the lighting angle I was seeing her from. I walked over to Grayson who was still sleeping on the floor, nudging him in the stomach with my foot. “Wake up, lazy ass.” I announced & Grayson didn’t move, just shut his opened mouth & continued to dream. I sighed & moved to sit on the other couch across from James & Emma, moving into a comfortable position & shutting my eyes peacefully. Time for a nap.

 

    A few minutes passed as I was on the verge of falling asleep when I heard a loud groan come from the middle of the room. I frowned & opened my eyes, seeing Grayson waking up on the floor & looking around as his hair stuck up in every direction possible. Grayson’s eyes landed on James & Emma as he slowly stood up, taking a blanket with him from the floor. He walked over to them & Emma watched him with wide eyes, shaking her head. “Gray, no–“ Her panicky voice was cut off as Grayson plopped on top of her & James, getting comfortable as he laid his head in Emma’s lap & wrapped his arms around her sleepily. My stomach knotted for some reason. Grayson laid so his ass was right in James’ face, doing it on purpose as James groaned & tried shoving my brother off of them. Emma did the same, pushing against Grayson’s broad chest. “Love me!” Grayson yelled tiredly, hugging Emma tighter as she laughed & shook her head. “No! Gray get off, you weigh like ten hundred pounds!” Emma stated & Grayson buried his face into her stomach. A pang of something ran through me & I frowned at myself. The hell was that? A pang of jealousy? It sure felt like it, but–I wasn’t jealous was I? There’s nothing to be jealous about. All Grayson did was cuddle Emma. That’s all. That’s all that happened. Nothing else. There’s no reason to be jealous. 

 

    James suddenly slapped Grayson’s ass, catching him off guard & Grayson’s body jerked away as James shoved him off of the couch. Emma sighed loudly in relief as Grayson hit the floor & James chuckled. Grayson sat back up again on the floor & pouted while pulling his legs against his muscular chest, ducking his head down into his knees. James laughed harder. “Why don’t you love me?” Grayson asked quietly, sounding tired. Emma & I chuckled as James leaned down to look at his boyfriend. “My poor baby.” James cooed while touching my brother’s hair & Grayson scoffed, getting up to walk away when James wrapped his arms around his waist to stop him. “Fine, come here.” James said sarcastically & pulled a now happy Grayson down on top of him, wrapping his arms around his upper back instead to pull him closer. Emma laughed at them before giving the two a disgusted look when they started to kiss. My mouth dropped open. Grayson was tongue fucking James’ mouth. On my favorite fucking couch. No pun intended. 

 

    “Get a room!” Emma said loudly & stood up from the couch, walking over to the one I was sitting on to sit down next to me instead. James laughed & flipped him & Grayson over so he was on top now. “What’s the matter? Don’t like the show?” James said sarcastically in between kisses & I cringed, shivering. “Yeah, what’s the matter?” Grayson jokingly said, suddenly grabbing James’ ass & squeezing it softly as I slapped a hand over Emma’s eyes like she was a child. Emma giggled loudly & grabbed at my arm, moving my hand away from blocking her view. I laughed & covered her eyes with my other hand, making her jump out of the way & laugh hysterically. I leaned back against the couch with a smile on my face, giving up as I sighed & yawned. “Tired?” Emma asked while looking at me & I nodded slowly. “Couldn’t sleep last night,” I explained, “also that hot shower really did it for me.” Emma nodded while chuckling & I shut my eyes. “Me too.” She said. “Why couldn’t you sleep last night?” I heard her ask & my eyes opened again, looking into her light blue ones. “Thinking about my mom. How right now she’s alone with my dad. Was worried that something might happen.” I mumbled quietly so Grayson wouldn’t hear, but there was no need as I could still hear him kissing James from across the room. “She’ll be fine, I promise.” Emma stated & gave me a soft smile, causing the corners of my lips to raise into a smile as well. “Why couldn’t you sleep?” I asked back & her facial expression turned into a frown as her eyes darted around the room. “Uh–I was just cold so it kept me up.” She explained oddly & I nodded slowly. “Sorry, the lovebirds over here took all the blankets last night.” I apologized loudly, aiming my voice towards Grayson & James. Grayson crawled off of James & sat down next to him while glaring at me. “Sorry we were fucking cold!” Grayson said & I scoffed. “Grayson, you had five fucking blankets! I had one,  _ one  _ and I was perfectly warm.” I explained & Grayson rolled his eyes as James laughed & patted his arm sympathetically. “Have you guys ever actually had a civil conversation where you don’t yell or fight with each other?” Emma wondered out loud with James agreeing & I crossed my arms. “No, not since Ethan became a fucking dick.” Grayson said under his breath & I snapped my head towards him incredulously. “It’s not my fault asswipe! It’s yours, ever since you kissed up to mom and dad to become the most perfect child.” I muttered angrily & Grayson scoffed, standing up from the couch. “Me?! You’re the one always fucking trying so hard to get dad to like you more! In football you even shove  _ me _ out of the way just to get a touchdown! And we’re on the same fucking team!” Grayson yelled & I stood up as well, clenching my fists at my side. “That’s because no matter how hard I try dad still loves you more and is more proud of you! Even when you don’t get any fucking touchdowns!” I argued back & Grayson’s upper lip went up slightly, giving me a look. “Well at least I don’t beat up people’s best friends and then steal them!” Grayson shouted while looking at Emma next to me & I opened my mouth to yell back but had nothing to say. He was right. 

 

    Emma gasped from behind me. “You’re such a bitch sometimes and you’re too blinded by your own stupidity to see it.” I heard Grayson mutter & I looked up at him. That’s it. I made a move to run at him but felt Emma’s small hand grip my wrist from behind me. I looked back at her angrily. “Let go. I’m sick and tired of him talking shit about me. Is that all I am? A bitch? You should’ve never found me on that day in my room. I was gonna end it all and you screwed it up.” I mumbled angrily & Emma’s eyes softened. I bit my lip, willing myself to not cry at how fucked up my life is. “Then I’m glad I screwed it up.” Emma whispered & I sighed as she rubbed her thumb over the sleeve on my hoodie, in the exact spot where my attempts at leaving this world where engraved. “Come here. Calm down.” Emma said & I reluctantly sat down next to her as she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. “It’s not your fault. Gray’s just mad.” She said into my ear & I sagged against her warm embrace.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

I carded my fingers through Ethan’s damp hair like I always did, that seeming to calm him down. I looked over at Grayson who was still standing up staring at Ethan & I while James was just looking at the floor blankly. “Gray, Ethan could never take me away from you. You’re my best friend. You always will be, I promise.” I stated & Grayson broke out of his trance, running a hand through his floppy hair & looking at me. “I know, sorry. It was just in the heat of the moment. Sorry Ethan.” Grayson apologized to his brother & I felt Ethan sigh against me. “It’s okay.” He mumbled into my shoulder & I smiled. He sounded tired. I ran my fingers up & down his back gently in a soothing way, feeling him shiver against me. I looked over at James & he sent me a knowing smile, glancing down towards my stomach & then at Ethan. I shook my head & sighed, remembering that I was indeed pregnant. Fucking great. I don’t wanna be a mom. I’m too young. And I know Ethan would never want to stay with me & help raise the baby. His baby.

 

    I felt Ethan’s body sag against mine & heard his breathing get heavier, causing me to sigh in relief that he fell asleep. He needed some sleep. He didn’t deserve to have to stay up most of the night wondering if his mom would be safe from his father. Nobody deserves that. I gently pulled him away from me & laid him down on the cushions as he inhaled deeply & turned his head into the fabric of the beige couch. I didn’t bother covering him up with any blankets, considering he was wearing thick clothes. I stood up from the couch & walked back over to the other couch where Grayson & James sat there staring at me with shocked expressions. “What….” I asked, trailing off in confusion. Grayson looked between me & Ethan’s sleeping figure across the room. “Are you the sandman or something? How’d you get him to fall asleep so fast?!” Grayson questioned loudly & I shushed him, looking over at Ethan to make sure her didn’t wake up. I shrugged. “I don’t know, he told me he didn’t get much sleep last night. Must’ve just been tired.” I only half-lied & James made a sarcastic humming sound while I glared at him.

 

    After around an hour of binge watching whatever played on the television, Grayson, James & I started to get bored & just went onto our phones instead. I was scrolling through my notifications when suddenly somebody groaned, causing me to look up at Grayson. “Can you stop watching porn for one minute of your life?” I asked while flashing my best friend a sarcastic smile & he looked up from his phone at me with a confused expression. “That wasn’t me….” Grayson trailed off & my eyebrows furrowed before I turned my head to look at James. “Damn, didn’t know you guys shared the same PornHub membership.” I joked towards James & he too looked up at me confused. “That definitely did not come from me. I don’t moan like pregnant walrus.” James stated & I cocked my eyebrow at the couple. “Then who…?” I asked quietly before another groan that sounded more like a moan was heard & we all snapped our heads towards the other couch. Ethan laid there still asleep as he moved around & his hand inched towards his crotch as his eyebrows furrowed & his lips parted. “No. Fucking. Way.” James spat out in shock as a wide grin spread across his face. “He’s having a fucking wet dream.” Grayson muttered in shock & my eyes widened as I moved my eyes back to look at Ethan who had just let out another deep moan. “What are we gonna do?” I asked quietly, trying not to look at Ethan’s hand that was pressed right over his pelvis. “Take a video and then post it fucking everywher–” James started excitedly & Grayson cut him off, “No, we’re just gonna wake him up. Jesus Christ James.” Grayson chuckled at his boyfriend & ruffled his hair as James sadly clicked his phone’s camera off. Ethan panted heavily from across the room & my eyes widened as I turned to look back at Grayson. “Grayson wake him the fuck up!” I ordered & Grayson broke out of his frozen trance, getting up from the leather couch & walking over to the one that held his horny twin brother. “Eth.” Grayson said & nudged Ethan’s shoulder, which only made him let out a low groan. Grayson looked back at us with a cringing expression & James laughed, covering his mouth with his perfectly manicured hands. “Ethan!” Grayson yelled this time & Ethan only pressed his hand down against himself on top of his joggers, moaning again. My eyes widened as a jolt of something travelled through my stomach. “Ethan awake the fuck up!” Grayson yelled loudly again & this time grabbed a pillow off of the ground, smacking Ethan across the face with it. Ethan jolted awake & cursed as he sat up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Grayson stared at his brother for a moment & cleared his throat, catching Ethan’s attention. “What?” Ethan asked sleepily & Grayson tilted his head down, making Ethan look down at himself as his face suddenly flushed red when he saw the tent in his pants. He threw his hands over his crotch & his eyes widened as he shot up from the couch, running out of the living room. Grayson & I laughed loudly as we heard a door slam shut upstairs.

 

    Ethan came back downstairs a few minutes later & sat back down on his previous spot on the couch while avoiding everybody’s eyes. Grayson stifled a laugh with his hand & I shot a glare at him, leaning over James to slap my best friend on the shoulder. “Hey,” James said while looking at his phone, “you guys wanna go to Aaron’s party tonight? It’s only a few houses down from here and his parents are out of town.” Ethan tilted his head at James & shrugged as Grayson nodded his head. “I’m down.” Ethan announced & Grayson agreed. “Sure.” I replied & James nodded his head. “Alright well it starts at seven. What time is it right now?” James asked & Grayson took out his phone, showing James the time. “Oh shit it’s already six thirty?!” Grayson exclaimed & my eyebrows shot up. “What time did we wake up then?! Noon?” I asked & Ethan shrugged from across the room. “Probably, considering we had to wait for sleeping beauty to awake.” Ethan responded & Grayson scowled, opening his mouth to say something. “Okay! Let’s go get ready!” James announced, preventing another fight to happen between the brothers. I gave James a thankful smile as he stood up & grabbed my arm, pulling me along towards the stairs. Grayson & Ethan stayed put so I assumed they were just gonna go how they looked right now. I sighed reluctantly as James practically dragged me up the stairs & to the bathroom, taking out his portable makeup pallets from his backpack. “Okay kitty girl, close your eyes!” James instructed happily & I chuckled, shaking my head & doing as I was told. This would take awhile.

 

    Eventually after James taking like twenty minutes to do my makeup & the fifteen minute walk down to Aaron’s house, we had arrived at the wild-looking party. I cringed when the stench of alcohol hit my nose, we hadn’t even stepped foot on the driveway yet & I could already smell the weed as well. I for one wouldn’t be drinking any alcohol, considering that I’m...pregnant. James pulled Grayson & I excitedly up to the front door, Ethan trailing behind with his hands shoved in his pockets. The door swung open & we were greeted by Aaron himself, slurring his words as he welcomed us to come in. I gave him a smile & a hesitant nod before I was being dragged in by James again over to the table filled with food & many different colorful drinks. Where did Aaron even get all of this? James poured himself an orange-colored alcoholic drink & turned to look at me for a second before grabbing the long curved spoon & pouring me some raspberry punch. I thanked him over the loud music & he nodded, before running back over to Grayson & sharing his drink with him. I took a small sip of my punch & Ethan appeared next to me. “No alcohol?” He said loudly into my ear, trying to drown out the music. I shook my head at him slowly. “Not feeling it tonight!” I lied back to him & he believed it, nodding before he poured himself a strange blue-colored alcohol. I rolled my eyes & laughed at him as he clanked his glass with mine. He threw his head back to drink the blue liquid & I watched with an odd interest as his throat bobbed up & down, swallowing the sour drink.

 

    “Spin the bottle and dare upstairs!” Somebody yelled out loud & raspily while slurring a little, causing me to turn & look at them as they stood on a chair while looking like they were about to fall at any minute. What is this, seventh grade? Before I could process it, James was next to me again & he grabbed my arm to pull me toward the large staircase. I turned & frantically grabbed onto Ethan’s bicep, shaking my head back & forth. “No! Spin the bottle is fucking retarded! Ethan help!” I yelled out & Ethan just laughed loudly as James continued to try & tug me away. Ethan eventually moved & started walking with us as I groaned, giving up when James started to practically drag me up the stairs. Grayson walked with us, looking reluctant to have to play as well. The four of us reached the top of the stairs & saw a few other people sitting around a bottle in a poorly shaped circle. All of us spread out & sat in different spots next to other people. I took a seat next to a girl with a pixie cut, her short brown hair was quiffed up in every which way as she laughed drunkenly. 

 

    “Okay, I’m going first!” Aaron himself announced & clapped his hands together before spinning the glossy bottle in the middle of the room. The bottle turned for a while before landing on a girl with long blonde hair. “Alright um, I dare you to….take off your shirt and leave it off for the rest of the game.” Aaron said evilly & laughed in victory as the girl drunkenly took off her shirt, exposing her red lace bra. “My turn!” She said all bubbly & spun the bottle with her slender hands. It landed on Grayson & she smirked, making a humming sound as she thought to herself. “Ooh, I know, kiss the fruitcake since nobody else would ever dare to.” She stayed, referring to James & I sucked in my cheeks as I tried not to laugh. If only she knew. Grayson looked at her dumbfounded & shrugged walking over across the room to James as James smiled at him. Grayson placed his hand on the side of his boyfriend’s face & stared lovingly/drunkenly into his eyes for a moment. “Go on! Taste the rainbow!” Nash yelled out & everybody laughed before Grayson smashed his lips onto James’, kissing him deeply as he held his jaw now. A few seconds passed & Grayson dragged James’ bottom lip between his teeth before it snapped back into place & Grayson smirked, waltzing back to his spot. Everybody’s jaws were dropped as they looked between Grayson & James who were panting heavily. “My turn.” Grayson’s said tauntingly & spun the shaped glass, making it spin rapidly until it landed on Logan. “Lick Nash’s foot.” Grayson said bluntly & Logan cringed before nodding, he never backed down from anything. He walked over to Nash who was already taking off his shoe & sock. Logan grabbed Nash’s foot & Nash laughed while slurring something incoherent before Logan licked a long striped up his friend’s foot. Everybody gave him a disgusted look as he wiped his tongue repeatedly with his hands & sat back down in his spot. Logan spun the bottle since it was his turn & it spun quickly till it slowed down & landed on his slightly younger brother Jake. “Jakey….kiss Emma and give her a hickey.” Logan said while laughing evilly & I tensed up. Gross. I didn’t want Jake’s lips anywhere on me.

 

    Jake rolled his eyes at his older brother & stood up, walking over to me before kneeling down in front of my body. I gave him a look before he grabbed my face & kissed me roughly for a moment, before pulling away & ducking his head down to suck a dark mark onto the base of my neck while I cringed. I found my eyes trailing to Ethan as Jake’s hair brushed against my jaw. Ethan was staring at me darkly with his jaw clenched & eyebrows furrowed. Uh okay? “Slut.” Jake whispered against my skin for only me to hear & I sighed. He finally pulled away from my throat & smiled down at his work, brushing his hands dramatically before walking back to his spot. I wiped my neck & frowned at the thought of what just happened to me. “My turn!” Jake exclaimed & clapped his hands together before grabbing the bottle & spinning it with extreme force until it landed on a girl with wild pink hair. I didn’t pay attention to what dare she got as I looked at Ethan who was still staring at me, almost glaring. I mouthed a questioning to him & he clenched his jaw again, looking away & ignoring me. The fuck? I sighed. “Emma,” Nash suddenly said & I turned to look at him, “do seven minutes in heaven with….Ethan in the closet. Since you guys seem to hate each other this should be interesting.” Nash smirked & my stomach dropped. Are you fucking serious?! I was about to protest but Ethan stood up wordlessly & walked over to me, grabbing my arm with only a little force as he dragged my to my feet & pulled me roughly towards the closet. I looked back at James or Grayson for help but they were only staring at us while shrugging. I was not looking forward to being trapped in a small closet with an angry Ethan. “I’ll be outside with the timer!” Nash announced as he sounded close behind us.

 

    Ethan yanked me into the cramped closet & slammed the small door shut as he clicked on the light above us. We didn’t actually have to make out though right? Nobody would know if we didn’t do anything. I just wanted to know why Ethan was so mad, considering he was staring down at me with an extremely mad expression on his face. “Ethan wha–” I began to ask what his problem was, but was cut off as he roughly smashed our lips together & placed his large hand behind my head to hold me in place. I didn’t move for a moment, being in shock before I decided to kiss him back. He grabbed my jaw gently & tilted his head to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth as it slid against mine. I could taste the alcohol from just now & a small hint of mint on his tongue. I cupped his cheeks with both of my hands as he pushed me back against the few shelves, pressing his broad body close against mine. I moved my hands to tangle into his hair & tugged the dark strands lightly as his now slightly swollen lips continued to move against mine. I pulled away to catch my breath & Ethan didn’t stop, only ducking his head down & attaching his lips to my neck in the same exact spot Jake had given me a hickey. Except Ethan was sucking a lot harder over that spot & he travelled to other spots of empty skin around my neck, biting down softly & leaving more dark marks. “E-ah!” I gasped when he sucked on my collarbone, finding my sweet spot. I tugged on his hair & pulled his face back up to meet mine again, colliding our lips together eagerly as he moved his hands down to my waist. I flipped us around without breaking the heated kiss, pushing him up against the shelves roughly & smiling against his lips when he let out a low noise. I pulled away from the kiss, dipping my head down to suck a large dark mark right next to his adam’s apple. I felt him tangle his large hands in my hair as I left a few more marks, tugging down the collar of his hoodie slightly for better access. He threw his head back a little as I softly bit down on the base of his neck. I retreated from his throat then, lifting my head back up as he kissed me passionately again. I wrapped my hand around the nape of his neck & pulled his face closer if possible. He panted against my lips after pulling away for a moment & he stared down at me. “Emma,” He started to say & I looked back into his deep green–almost brown eyes, “I think I l–” He was cut off by Nash suddenly banging loudly on the door & yelling. 

 

    “Time’s up!” Nash’s annoying voice yelled through the door & I chuckled as Ethan was looking at me with an unreadable expression. “What were you gonna say before sir-dipshit interrupted you?” I asked, looking back up at him. He shrugged. “Uh-nothing, I don’t remember.” He answered & I nodded, turning & opening the closet door for us to walk out & take our spots back in the messed up circle of people. Everybody was staring at us & gossiping loudly, being their drunkenly excited selves. I caught James & Grayson looking at each other as if they were communicating silently. “Damn, girl. Get it.” The girl with the pixie cut leaned in next to me & whispered, making me blush & laugh. I don’t know what even got into Ethan & I. Whatever. It’s a party. What happens at a party, stays at a party. 

 

    I yawned as I walked into school, chuckling quietly at all of the students walked quietly through the halls for once because of their hangovers. I swear three fourths of the whole school showed up to Aaron’s party last night. I passed James & Grayson as they chatted quietly near Grayson’s locker, Grayson looking like he was about to pass out from being so tired. I trudged over to my own rusty & blue locker, seeing an odd square of paper hanging out of it. I walked closer & plucked up the small piece of paper, unfolding it to reveal a small note. It was from Ethan, he wanted me to meet him behind the school saying it was an emergency. That’s odd. We just saw each other yesterday. What was so urgent? 

 

    I stuffed the note into the pocket of my skinny jeans & quickly tossed my jacket & bag into my locker, leaving me in only a t-shirt as I walked towards the entrance of the school. I stepped out into the now slightly warmer air that belonged to the outdoors. I looked around making sure no teachers were outside or watching me as I booked it to run behind the school. I walked around the brick wall corner & was welcomed by the slightly cool breeze of behind the school. There was no sign of Ethan. I walked around a little bit while looking around but there was still no sign of him. I was about to call out his name when I heard somebody talk from behind me, “Hello Emma.” I whipped around & my stomach dropped.

 

    Cameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehehehEHEHEHEHEH. hope u liked it hehe. I live in michigan & we’ve had 6 snow days in a row so far, I’m over it tbh. where do u live (in a non creepy way lmao)? I wanna hear all about it if it’s warm there. :(( lyyyyyyyyy. ;*


	22. TWENTY TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg don’t kill me bc it’s a little late. enjoy.

**Emma Pov.**

 

I swallowed air uncomfortably as Cameron stood there smirking at me, his caramel brown hair being ruffled by the wind. “Cameron? Where’s Ethan?” I asked, referring to how I got a note from  _ Ethan  _ saying to meet him out here. Not Cameron Fucking Dallas. Cameron chuckled with dry humor & then scoffed. “You really are fucking retarded.  _ I  _ wrote that note, not Ethan.” He stated & my eyebrows furrowed. “Why?” I asked slowly, debating to run or not. “Meredith wanted my help.” He said smoothly & my heart stopped beating at her name. “W-with what?” I stuttered hesitantly as he took a step closer to me. His dropped into a frown. “Did she not warn you the last time you guys had a little run in? I believe she told you; if you don’t get out of her way she’ll have somebody do something to you that will make you?” He reminded me & I felt a pit in my stomach as that piece of information I had been told resurfaced in me. “But I’m not even in her fucking way! I don’t like Ethan like that.” I argued. I don’t like Ethan in that way...right? My heart contracted oddly. 

 

    I turned my attention back to Cameron. “So what are you gonna do…?” I asked, trailing off in uncertainty as he let out a low chuckle. “Something that will suck for you, but be great for me.” He stated & I thought for a moment before realization dawned on me. He was gonna fucking rape me. I shook my head rapidly at him & turned around, starting to sprint away as fast as possible while yelling for help. I suddenly felt him grab me from behind & I screamed loudly as possible before he slapped his calloused hand over my mouth. I thrashed around in his grip as he dragged me back towards where we previously were. “Fucking stop it.” He gritted out & shoved me against the brick wall, starting to unbutton his jeans. I screamed again & tried to run away while his hands were busy but he grabbed me again, pushing me onto the cement ground as I cried out. “Scream one more fucking time and I swear to God I’ll break your goddamn arm.” He spat & I flinched, wincing in pain from my back coming in contact with the hard surface of the ground. I shut my eyes in pain & my veins spiked with fear as I heard the foil of a condom being torn open. Tears left my eyes as I tried to sit up, only to be yanked up by him as he pushed me tightly against the wall again. He had his jeans down around his ankles & his boxers were bunched up down near his shins. I let out loud sobs, knowing there was nothing I could do as he fumbled with the button on my blue skinny jeans & pulled them down to my ankles harshly along with my laced underwear. My vision was blurry as I watched him stroke himself a few times before lining himself up in between my thighs. He rammed his whole length into me harshly without preparation & I screamed louder than I ever have, causing him to punch me into the stomach with harsh force. “What the fuck did I tell you-ah earlier.” He threatened in my ear while moaning in between. I cried out loudly at the sharp pain in my stomach & when I tasted blood in mouth my heart suddenly dropped as I remembered something. I was fucking pregnant. 

 

    “Cameron no! Please stop, you can’t!” I shrieked out in between sobs & his face turned into a snarl as he didn’t stop thrusting painfully in & out, punching me in the stomach again. “No, Cameron!” I panicked loudly & my voice cracked in loss of hope & pain as he only punched me again in the same spot. He groaned & ducked his head down into my neck, pressing his lips to my skin as I tried to shove him away. “No!” I sobbed out quieter & he only moaned lowly against me, thrusting deeper which made me scream in pain. He slapped his rough hand over my mouth again & leaned near my ear while groaning. “Shut the fuck up, I bet I feel better than  _ Dolan _ .” He growled out & my heart sank at the thought of Ethan being brought into any of this. “You’re just mad because he beat the shit out of you.” I cried out confidently & immediately regretted it as he rammed his hips harder into me, hitting me harder than before in my rib cage. I coughed out in pain, horrified as I felt blood trickle down my jaw. His movements continued to get deeper as he cursed out while jamming himself into me harder than ever, making me cry out loudly in pain. Hot & sticky tears rolled down my cheeks repeatedly as I felt nauseous from the sharp pains spreading through me. More blood trickled out of my mouth as Cameron pressed his body closer to me while moaning deeply, putting pressure on my sensitive stomach.

 

**James Pov.**

 

“No you dumbass! Eyeshadow goes on your eyelid, not under your eyes.” I explained bluntly to a confused Grayson as we walked down the crowded hallway towards our first period. Grayson let out a sound of realization & a loud laugh as I snorted at his sister-stupidity. “Wait, shit, I forgot my math book in my car! Can you come with me to go get it, please?” He asked while batting his eyelashes adorably down at me. I scoffed & rolled my eyes playfully, nodding my head as we changed our direction to walk towards the main doors which led to the parking lot. My hand brushed against his large one as we walked through the doors & I smirked as he moved his hand away. He wasn’t ready to let everybody at school know about our relationship yet or even come out to the disrespectful students. 

 

    The cool breeze rose goosebumps onto the bare skin of my arms as we stepped outside onto the black cement of the parking lot. Grayson shivered next to me & started to walk in the direction of his vehicle with me following closely behind. Suddenly a loud high pitched scream was heard & I stopped in my tracks as Grayson turned to look back at me. “Did you hear that?” I asked him, making sure I wasn’t going insane at the painful yell my ears had just witnessed. He nodded wordlessly & a chill went down my back as he only stared at me with confusion laced in his eyes. “No!” Somebody who sounded familiar suddenly shrieked even louder & I flinched at their pained tone. Grayson’s eyes widened at me & he shook his head. “That’s Emma.” He muttered confidently & my eyes widened in return. He moved towards me & grabbed my wrist as he pulled me along while starting to run back towards the school again. “It sounds like she’s behind the school, come on!” He said worriedly & I ran faster, catching up with him as he rounded the first corner of the brick wall. We picked up the pace, the intricate pattern of bricks blowing by the corner of our vision as we looked ahead. Many whimpers & cries were heard, getting louder as we rounded the last corner & came to a stop at what we saw. “Get the fuck off of her!” Grayson shouted & before I could process what was happening through my shock, my boyfriend was yanking Cameron Dallas off of a very battered Emma. By the looks of it through my blurry & tear filled vision, Emma had just gotten raped by Cameron. 

 

    “–et Ethan!” Grayson’s voice brought me out of my shocked trance & I snapped my eyes to him. “Go! Get Ethan! Hurry!” Grayson yelled again with intent & I nodded quickly, looking as Cameron was watching him try to comfort Emma but she wouldn’t let him touch her. I shook my head as more tears of sympathy pooled into my eyes, turning around on my heel & running faster than ever back towards the main entrance. I swung the heavy metal doors open quickly, relieved that they hadn’t auto-locked yet. I ran through the now empty hallways & headed for the Spanish room, remembering how Emma complained to me once about how her morning would always get ruined in that class because of Ethan. I didn’t bother to knock as I came to a loud stop outside of the wooden door, turning the metal handle & throwing it open. “Ethan I need you right now!” I yelled into the room, causing every student & Señora Frego to turn their heads & look at my breathless figure. Ethan’s dark & exhausted-looking eyes snapped from his worksheet to meet mine. “Why?” He asked, sounding bored as he stared at me with a dumbfounded expression. “Mr. Charles–” Señora Frego said in her Spanish accent as started to get frustrated at my presence, but I cut her off. “Emma needs you!” I shouted angrily with my voice cracking & Señora Frego didn’t get the chance to say anything as Ethan had already shoved his chair away from his desk & was now right in front of me. “What the fuck happened?” He demanded & I didn’t respond, only turning around to start running out of the classroom again. “Come on, hurry up!” I said worriedly, thinking about both Emma & Grayson. Cameron could possibly overpower Grayson.

 

    “James you better start fucking talking!” I heard Ethan yell from behind me as he followed me outside & rounded the first brick corner with me. I held back my tears as I heard struggling sounds coming from behind the school, not knowing what was happening as I quickened my pace. I rounded the last dreadful corner & saw Grayson being held in a chokehold by Cameron as Emma cried loudly against the cold wall, her jeans & underwear still pulled down but her hoodie had been positioned so you could only see her thighs. I gasped & was frozen in place as Grayson’s eyes started to roll to the back of his head, his tight grip on Cameron’s arm loosening. Ethan rounded the corner finally & stood beside me, taking in the whole situation for only a small second before running & lunging at Cameron. He tackled Cameron away from Grayson & wrestled him into the grass nearby as they fought. Grayson sat up in shock as he coughed & gasped, getting the air back into his lungs. “What the fuck did you do?!” Ethan yelled, sounding more angry than I’ve ever heard him as he punched Cameron straight across the face, causing Cameron to spit blood in his face & hit him in the rib cage as they continued to roll around in the grass. Grayson moved over towards Emma who was crying extremely loudly & raspily, flinching away from Grayson’s outstretched hand so hard that she hit her head against the wall. Grayson sighed & snapped his head towards the two fighting guys in the grass as a loud noise from Ethan was heard. I looked over to see the side of Ethan’s face being pressed against the ground with his arm held painfully behind his back by Cameron who was kneeing him in the stomach. Grayson stood up to run over to them & Ethan got out of Cameron’s grip somehow as he turned around & hit him in the throat. “Take care of Emma.” Grayson ordered him & Ethan didn’t listen as he continued to punch Cameron over & over. “Ethan!” Grayson yelled again, tugging at Ethan’s bicep when he wouldn’t stop hitting Cameron. “You fucking rapist!” Ethan shouted out again & Cameron coughed a little, choking on some blood when he got hit in the rib cage again. I felt like I couldn’t move as this whole scene unfolded. “Ethan I’ll take care of him but Emma fucking needs you!” Grayson growled out, pulling on Ethan & successfully getting him off of Cameron. Grayson got on top of a limp Cameron, pinning him down & talking to him lowly as Ethan turned around while fuming with anger. His lip was busted & bleeding, along with his now reddened cheekbone. His enraged eyes moved to land on Emma & his expression immediately changed, his once clenched jaw dropping to slacked as he jogged over to her with a slight limp. 

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

I squatted down in front of a crying Emma & internally winced as I saw blood that had previously trickled out of her mouth. My fist clenched as I heard Cameron groan from behind me. This was all his fault. I looked at Emma’s melancholy face & saw her eyes shut tightly while she sobbed as if she was waiting for something bad to happen. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach as well, indicating Cameron must’ve hurt her there too. I reached my hand out & touched her tense shoulder gently, causing her to flinch away greatly & shriek. Without any further thinking I gently pulled her body against mine & cradled her into my chest, making her struggle against me & cry out. “Emma, hey, Emma it’s me. It’s Ethan, shh calm down.” I assured her quietly & her body went limp against mine as I hesitantly combed my fingers through her long hair. I hoped I was doing it right, comforting her. Her jeans were pulled back up luckily, Grayson must’ve helped her. She was still & quiet for a moment before her body started to shake & she let out a small hiccup, then leading to her sobbing again as she buried her face into my ‘Champion’ hoodie. Her hand gripped tightly into the fabric on my side & I pulled her closer, ducking my head down ontop of hers. “It’s okay, you’re okay now.” I whispered & she cried harder it seemed like, holding onto my hoodie like it was her lifeline. “I-it h-hurts...e-everything h-hurts-ah.” She sobbed while saying & her breathing was short & quick, unsteady breaths. “I know, you’ll be okay I promise.” I mumbled to both her & myself, promising myself I would take care of her. I kept her bridal style in my arms as I stood up & looked over at James holding Grayson back from a unconscious Cameron, Emma stuffing her face into the dark green fabric of my hoodie. “Let’s get you to a hospital.” I muttered as she only cried harder against me, making my grip tighten comfortingly under her thighs. I caught eye contact with James & he gave me a small nod, knowing what I was going to do. “W-why m-me?” Emma sobbed out with a heartbreaking voice crack & it felt like my heart contracted slightly. “I don’t know, Cameron’s a cunt. Shh you’re okay now, I promise.” I cooed down at her as I carried her towards my vehicle, the sun beaming down on the black coat of it.

 

    Emma had cried the whole ride to the hospital, not stopping the salty tears & hiccups pouring out onto her flushed cheeks & the passenger seat of my ‘Range Rover’. I opened the car door on her side & leaned down, hooking my arms under her tense body & picking her up. I felt something warm & wet against my hand under her knees, making me set her down for a minute to look at my now red stained hand. My eyes widened. It was fucking blood. I looked down at her jeans & saw dark blood trails staining the fabric of her jeans near her inner thighs. I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek & picking her up again quickly. Even more sobs racked through her shaky body as I carried her bridal style again into the white themed hospital. I ran through the wide open doors to the emergency room & yelled out as loud as possible for a nurse. A woman with short & straight brown hair turned her head towards me, seeing a crying Emma which made her eyes widen. The nurse called out for a few other nurses & they sprinted over to Emma & I with a cot on wheels. “What happe–oh no.” A nurse with bright pink hair asked before stopping herself when she saw the blood on Emma’s jeans. “Sir did she only get raped or did something else happen?” The brown haired nurse asked me & I flicked my eyes over to her. “I don’t know, she winced when I touched her stomach so Camer–this guy must’ve done something to her abdomen.” I explained & the nurse who asked me the question gave me a slow nod, processing the information I had given her. “Room 13 is open, we need to check her out immediately to make sure no major damage was done.” A blonde nurse with bright blue eyes announced & Emma arched her back off the cot in pain while shaking her head rapidly. “N-no! D-don’t touch m-me  _ please _ !” Emma cried out & the nurse with short brown hair retracted her hand that was about to touch Emma’s shoulder. “Let’s go.” The pink haired nurse said & Emma sobbed as they started to roll the cot away. “No! W-where–don’t! E-Ethan! Take m-me back to Ethan p-please!” Emma cried out loudly, her cracking voice echoing throughout the nearly empty hallway the nurses were rolling her down. I started to run after the nurses but a guy in a nurse’s attire ran up to me & placed his hands on my chest, blocking me from going down the same hallway. “Sir, you aren’t allowed down this hallway until the patient is stable.” The black haired guy explained to me & I didn’t acknowledge him, only look past his head at Emma’s panicking body that laid on the moving cot.

 

    “E-Ethan!” Was the last thing I heard Emma yell out brokenly before the heavy doors in the hallway swung shut & I was left alone with only a few nurses in the waiting room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO THIS WAS REALLY RUSHED & SHORT & GROSS & I HATE IT & WANNA SHOOT MYSELF FOR HOW BAD IT IS SO U KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?! b-b-b-b-....BONUS CHAPTER SOMETIME THIS WEEK! ily all. <3


	23. TWENTY THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hoes, here’s ur bonus chapter hehe. sorry it’s short but whateva. I’m sick again too so....enjoy? ;*

**Emma Pov.**

 

My lower body had a low ache to it as I fluttered my eyes open slowly & was met with a bright light blinding me. I closed my eyes tightly in pain at the brightness & saw spots in my vision as I tried to open them again. “You’re awake! Oh, sorry!” I heard a high pitched voice say & the light above me was suddenly dimmed to a much more suitable brightness. “How’re you feeling?” The same voice asked again & I shook my head, trying to figure out where I was as I ignored the woman questioning me. I moved my head around & scanned the room I was in. A hospital room. My stomach dropped as memories from earlier & the reason for why I was in here hit me. Ethan. Grayson. Cameron–Cameron raping me.

 

    I sat up quickly in the hospital bed & looked around fearfully as the lady nurse who I could see that had bright pink hair placed her hands on my chest to push me back down gently onto the bed. “Calm down.” She said slowly & I breathed deeply, trying to calm the flood of memories heading towards me. I looked around the room, trying to find something to focus on & my eyes landed on the lady’s metal name tag that was pinned to the breast pocket on her scrubs.  _ Jaylee _ read the metal engraved tag. My breathing slowed only a little as she gave me a warm smile. “Are you in any pain?” Jaylee asked me politely & I moved around a little bit against the thin sheets, testing the waters. The only part of my body that hurt a little bit was where Cameron had….intruded in on my body. I bit my lip, trying to hold back a few tears. I had already cried enough from what I could recall. I gave Jaylee a small nod. “Could you tell me where please Emma?” She questioned & I pursed my quivering lips, knowing if I where to speak I would breakdown. “Or you can point if you’d like.” She suggested & I sighed gratefully for a moment. I raised my hand up from my side, cringing at the IV that was jabbed into my skin surrounded by wires. I pointed shakily down at my crotch area & Jaylee nodded, looking sad. “I figured. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” She said sympathetically & I nodded, letting a single tear fall down my cheek. “Well I will go get the doctor and send her in for you while I retrieve some pain killers for you. If you need something and the doctor isn’t here in time, just press the red button right behind you.” She said while gesturing to what I assumed was the button behind me before giving me a warm smile & walking gracefully out of the room. I was left with an anxious silence, the only sound being a low humming noise from the machines in the room. 

 

    After a few moments there were light footsteps sounding like heels outside of the doorway & I quickly wiped the few more tears that had fallen onto my cheeks. A tall woman with dark brown hair thrown up into a ponytail swayed into the room while holding a clipboard & stopped next to where I was laying. “Miss. Chamberlain, I’m Doctor Beth and I will be treating you this morning before making sure you’ll be able to go home later on today.” Doctor Beth explained & I nodded shakily. I just wanted to go home. No wait, no I didn’t. If I went home my dad would be there. “Jaylee, your nurse, told me that you only have pain in your vaginal area am I correct?” Beth asked me & I nodded again in approval. “Alright,” She said & looked down to write something on her clipboard, “we did a thorough check up on you down there earlier and everything seems to be alright. There was only one medium-sized tear that might cause some pain, but that should heal in a few days to a week.” I blinked slowly, processing the information my doctor had given me. I felt like crying again. I looked up at her & her facial expression slowly turned into a devastating frown as she looked down at me. “There’s one more thing.” She said & my eyebrows furrowed at the tone of her voice, it suddenly sounding thick with sadness. “Emma,” She started & I clenched my jaw in anticipation, “you were pregnant weren’t you?” My heart stopped as I remembered that fact & I felt my hands start to shake as my eyes watered. I was pregnant with Ethan’s baby. I nodded my head hesitantly. “Y-yes.” I answered & her lips parted slightly downward, giving the room a melancholy feeling. I shook my head at her in disbelief. “N-no, no please no. Tell me it’s okay...t-tell me the b-baby is okay.” I pleaded quietly with a sharp voice & her shoulders slumped sadly as she looked down at me. Tears spilled over my eyelids as she shook her head slowly. “I’m very sorry, there seemed to be too much stress put on you from the attack and your stomach is very bruised. The baby….” She trailed off & looked anywhere around the room except at me, “didn’t make it.” I let out a choked breath & hiccuped as I let out a small sob. “N-no!” I cried out & she tilted her head sadly at me. “Oh sweetie I’m so sorry, you don’t deserve this.” She cooed & leaned down by me, pulling me into a hug as she set her clipboard down. I cried into her shoulder, my body shaking as some pain shot through the bruises on my stomach. I inhaled shortly, not seeming to get enough air as hot & sticky tears rolled down my cheeks & onto Beth’s shoulder. She smelled of cheap perfume as she dragged her cold fingers comfortingly through my hair, hushing me gently. I went limp against her in disbelief. The baby is dead. My baby is dead. E-Ethan’s baby is dead. This is all my fault, I should’ve shut up when Cameron threatened me & this wouldn’t have happened.

 

    “She’s awake?! Let me fucking see her! Get the hell of off me!” A deep voice suddenly yelled from outside of the doorway & I flinched at the sudden noise, Doctor Beth pulling away from the sad hug we had shared. I immediately recognized the voice as Ethan & my heart fluttered. I wanted to see somebody I knew, somebody who understood me. I wanted to see  _ Ethan _ . I scrambled off of the bed, ignoring the pain shooting up the lower half of my body as I was about to run out the door towards him. Before I made it very far as I stumbled Doctor Beth grabbed me as gently as possible & held me back, the needle attached to arm tugging at my skin because I was too far away. I strained against her, wanting nothing more than to be with Ethan not a doctor that I barely know. I heard him continue to argue & yell at who I assumed was the nurses out there as Doctor Beth was trying to tell me something. I blocked out her unwanted voice & pried at her bony fingers holding me back, my hearing only focused on Ethan’s voice. “E!” I called out loudly, my voice cracking at the sudden power from my vocal cords. “Emma?!” I heard him yell back & tears rolled down my cheeks anxiously. “Eth!” I shouted out again & heard a bunch of shuffling outside the doorway. “Sir, you aren’t family! You aren’t allowed to see her until one of her family members gets here–” I heard a male nurse argue but he cut himself off with a groan & suddenly Ethan ran into the room I was in. I wasted no time pushing away from Doctor Beth & running over to him as the IV was ripped surprisingly smoothly out of my arm from me getting too far away. Ethan held out his arms & I ran into him, wrapping my small arms tightly around his neck as I buried my face into his chest. “E-Ethan.” I said quietly, crying of happiness to be near him & of sadness as I remembered me killing his baby. His arms wrapped tighter around me & I felt his head duck on top of mine, his soft hair brushing against my temple. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” I heard him whisper into my ear with a small voice crack & I sighed shakily against him, only pressing closer to his torso as a response.

 

    Suddenly there were arms of many nurses tugging at Ethan & I, causing him to grip me tighter & I shrieked at the nurses. “Stop! Leave them be. He may not be family, but he’s the only familiar face she has right now.” I heard Doctor Beth announce & the nurses slowly let go of Ethan & I, making Ethan pull me closer & I could practically feel him glare at the nurses with the way his chest moved up & down with anger. I heard all of the nurses file out of the room & Ethan’s shoulders slumped calmly. “I was worried about you.” He mumbled & my heart fluttered at the thought of anger-issue-tough-guy Ethan worrying about me. He wouldn’t worry about me when I tell him that I killed his baby though. I bit the inside of my cheek, holding back anymore tears that were threatening to fall. “You do need to rest though Emma, so talk on the bed please.” Doctor Beth stayed from behind me & I nodded, pulling away from Ethan & trudging back over to the white & tan themed bed. I crawled onto it & sat down, sighing as Ethan sat across from me on it. I twiddled my thumbs & looked down at the sheets, not wanting to tell Ethan about the baby even though I knew I had to at some point & might as well get it over with. I looked up at Doctor Beth & she gave me a knowing nod of her head, making me swallow the lump in my throat. “I’ll leave you two alone, press the button if you need anything.” Beth added & I nodded hesitantly as she walked out of the room. I dragged my eyes from the doorway to Ethan & found that he was already looking at me. My jaw fell open slightly now that I was able to see his face clearly. Cameron had gotten a few good hits in on Ethan’s face, leaving him with a clearly busted lip & a slightly bloody gash on his cheekbone from being slammed against the concrete. Fuck.

 

    “What?” Ethan asked, noticing me examining his face. I shook my head. “Nothing, you just look like a bird attacked your face.” I said with a smirk & he rolled his eyes while chuckling. “Dick.” He joked while flicking my knee & I laughed along with him. After the small laughter died down I frowned & cleared my throat quietly. “Uh-Ethan.” I started nervously & he hummed in a questioning tone, looking up at me through his dark eyelashes. “I have to tell you something….” I stated, trailing off & he nodded slowly for me to continue. “I’m uh–I was..I was p-pregnant w-with your baby.” I started & his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What? No you aren’t, that’s impossible! I used a condom...what the fuck?! I’m too young to be a fucking dad.” He started to rant while sounding angry & I ducked my head down as tears dropped onto the sheets, slipping off of my eyelashes. “Wait–what do you mean by  _ was _ ? You said  _ was _ . What does that mean?!” He asked confusedly & I sniffled. “I-i killed it. I k-killed your b-baby. It’s all my f-fault!” I cried out & stuffed my face into my hands, sobbing silently as my body shook. “Hey, hey, calm down I’m sure it’s not your fault. What happened?” Ethan asked softly as he pulled me into his arms & I shook my head as I hiccuped. “C-C-Cam-Cameron–” I started to stammer & he cut me off. “Shh, calm down a second.  _ Breathe _ .” He ordered gently & I inhaled as deeply as I could before sighing shakily. I felt him card his fingers through my hair & my body sagged against his. Fucking liar, he can too comfort people.

 

    “Emma? Sorry it took so long, here are the painkillers I promised.” Jaylee suddenly said as she walked into the room & I thanked her, shakily accepting the pill bottle & small cup of water she was holding out in my direction. I set the items down onto the table & sniffled as Jaylee was looking at me with a sympathetic look. “I’ll give you two some space.” She announced & I nodded, squeezing my eyes shut as more tears spilled over my eyelids & onto my flushed cheeks. Even Jaylee probably knew I was a baby killer. “Shh, it’s okay. You’re alright.” Ethan said seemingly hesitant from above me.

 

    I sniffled after a few moments when my breathing was mostly back to normal, Ethan still tracing random patterns onto my arm as he also stroked my hair soothingly. “C-Cameron threatened me that if I didn’t be quiet that h-he would hit me or something,” I started & Ethan’s hand froze on my arm for a second, “but I d-didn’t listen and h-he didn’t know I was p-pregnant so he h-hit me over and over in m-my stomach. The d-doctor said that there w-was too much damage done and the baby didn’t survive. I should’ve listened to C-Cameron.” As I finished Ethan stayed silent above me, his hands refraining from any movement. “Ethan.” I said & he didn’t move. “Ethan damnit, say something please!” I cried out, another tear falling down my cheek as I pulled away from his chest to look at his face. His jaw was clenched tightly & his eyes had a dark glint as he stared at nothing. “What?” I asked hesitantly, hoping & praying that he wasn’t mad at me. “Ethan, what?” I questioned again when he didn’t respond, leaning forward & placing my hands on the sides of his face to turn his head & make him look at me. His dark eyes flickered to mine & I shivered. “Cameron did what?” He gritted out & my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “That fucker’s face is gonna get beaten so hard, his grandchildren will be born with a deformed face.” He spat before moving to get up with clenched fists. I panicked, not wanting to be alone. “No, Ethan please don’t leave me!” I rushed out & he stopped in his tracks, turning around to look at me. I let out a sob, hot tears streaming down my flushed cheeks. “P-please.” I choked out, my vision blurry from the salty liquid filling my eyes. 

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

    Emma looked up at me & my heart clenched even tighter than my fists, seeing her flushed & tear-drowned face. I panicked, not wanting her to start crying again as I didn’t exactly know how to comfort her & make her stop. “Hey, okay, okay, I won’t leave I promise. Shh, please don’t cry.” I said & crawled back onto the bed quickly, pulling her shaking body gently into my arms. She let out choked sobs against the fabric of my hoodie & her body wracked with cries against me. I stroked her hair with my fingers & tried whispering sweet words into her ear, but she still continued to breakdown on my chest. “Emma, calm down. It’s okay.” I said gently as possible, hoping that she would. She only cried harder against me & my jaw clenched as I thought about Cameron, how he put the fucking thought into her head that this was  _ her _ fault. I felt her letting out short & curt sobs against my hoodie, now sounding like she was having a panic attack. “Emma? Emma. Come on, breathe.” I pleaded, rocking her back & forth slightly. God, I’m so so fucking bad at this. She continued to let out raspy cries & I panicked. Should I press the red button for assistance?! I pulled her closer against me & tried to calm her down again, which only ended up with her crying & mumbling in a choked tone that; ‘everything was her fault’. Another airy sob escaped her lips & my eyes widened, feeling her breathing pick up way too quickly. She needed to calm down or she was gonna faint. Not knowing what else to do, I tried the only thing that came to mind as I pulled away from her shaking form.

 

    I leaned in & pressed my lips against hers, her cries coming to an instant stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *runs out of room before angry crowd can attack*


	24. TWENTY FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oml this is so bad and short. but I had work and I forgot and omg I’m currently crying I’m stressed. enjoy.

**Ethan Pov.**

 

Emma didn’t move under the touch of my lips against hers, she stayed still. Fuck, I screwed up didn’t I? I pulled away from her frozen form & looked down at the pure white sheets, bringing a hand up to awkwardly scratch the back of my neck. I shouldn’t have done that, she obviously doesn’t feel the same. But what do I want her to feel? What do I feel? I don’t fucking know. Unintentional tears pricked the corners of my eyes. I held my breath, not wanting to let out any noticeable signs of sadness. Emma hadn’t moved, hadn’t continued crying, just stayed in the same position she was before I fucked it up. The room was so silent that you could hear a pin drop over the low humming of the medical machines. “Sorry, I-I shouldn’t have...I uh..” I apologized & trailed off as a single tear rolled down my cheek, falling onto the sheet & leaving a small drop of wetness there. I bit the inside of my cheek. “I’m s-sorry.” I said with a slight voice crack, willing myself not to let anymore tears escape. I would not fucking cry. Guys don’t cry.

 

    Suddenly I felt hands on my cheeks & my face was pulled up as a pair of lips pressed against mine sweetly. Something in my stomach flipped, making me smile against Emma’s lips. I immediately kissed back & moved my lips against hers, tasting the saltiness of tears on her warm ones. I brought my hand up to gently cradle the back of her neck as she tilted her head in order to deepen the kiss. She pulled away after a moment to catch her breath & I leaned back, inhaling as well as I opened my eyes to look at her. Her breathing was still a little choppy & contained a few hiccups as she tried to calm down. “Why?” She suddenly asked & my eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why’d you do that?” She asked again & I tilted my head at her. “Do what? Kiss you?” I questioned, confusion lacing my voice. “Yes. Why’d you do it? Was it just to calm me down or because you actually like me?” She questioned further, seeming a little defensive. I did it to calm her down. Right? “To calm you down.” I answered & she gave me a blank stare before shaking her head, climbing off of the clean bed & onto the tinted floor. “I knew it.” She mumbled as she walked towards the doorway & my eyebrows knitted together in confusion as I stood up from the bed as well. “What’re you doing?” I asked & she whipped around to look at me with tears forming in her eyes. “Leaving. You only kissed me to calm me down?” She questioned, her voice watering. I nodded slowly & she scoffed while wiping her eyes. “What’s wrong?” I asked, stepping forward as she sniffled. “Ethan are you really that fucking stupid?! I like you–I I’m in love with you retard! And you only kissed me to calm me down. Guess the kiss felt different for you and I.” She explained as another tear rolled down her cheek but it was quickly chased away by the back of her hand. My heart stopped. She’s in love with me? Why–how…? I shook my head slowly, trying to get a grip on reality. 

 

    “Emma….” I trailed off, not being able to find the words I wanted to say. Emma just shook her head at me & turned to leave but I sprinted forward, grabbing onto her small wrist gently. She tugged against my grip & turned around to face me as she tried to pull away. “Ethan let me go!” She exclaimed & I shook my head, grabbing her shoulders & pulling her fully against me. She thrashed around in my hold. I reached my hand up to cup her cheek & she flinched away harshly while shutting her eyes. “N-no please don’t hit me! I’m sorry I’ll never go around you agai–” She started to ramble out while letting out a small noise of fear & my eyebrows furrowed as I gently placed my hand on her cheek. She was still scared of me whether she admitted it or not. “Emma I’m not gonna hit you, never again. I promise.” I stated & she flinched a tiny bit but slowly opened her eyes to look at me. Here goes fucking nothing. “Look I–I don’t exactly know my feelings right now I–uh whenever I was in a relationship it would just be a girl and I basically being fuck buddies,” I started & her eyes seemed to dull even more, “but with uhm-with you it’s d-different. Jesus, I don’t fucking know...there’s just something about you and I don’t–I don’t know what the fuck it is.” She continued to stare at me with an unreadable expression & I sighed, dragging a hand through my messed up hair. “What i'm trying to say is that I’ve never had actual feelings for somebody, so I don’t know what that feels like.” I stated & her eyes squinted a little while she stared off into space, processing the information I had given her. I don’t blame her if she’s confused, I’m confused myself.

 

    “What do you feel?” I asked out of nowhere & she glanced up at my eyes through her long eyelashes. “What?” She asked quietly & I swallowed slowly. “What do you feel for me?” I questioned again & she blinked a few times. “I can't describe the way I feel when I’m with you. I just love it.  _ Words _ can’t describe the warmth that runs through my body when I’m around you. I don’t know.” She explained & a pang of something ran through me at her words. It felt odd. My hands where her skin was touching me suddenly felt hotter. 

 

    “Emma I just went over your test results from earlier and you seem to be in perfect health, you’re free to go.” The doctor suddenly announced as she walked in, cutting off what I was about to say. Emma pulled away from me while nodding at her doctor & my hands dropped to my side awkwardly. The doctor handed Emma her bag with the clothes she came in for her to change into instead of the white gown she had to wear here. “I already signed you out, so you can just go.” The doctor stayed & Emma nodded, thanking her. The doctor just smiled warmly at both of us & then walked out of the room, leaving Emma & I alone. “I can bring you home since you don’t have your car here.” I mentioned & she nodded before freezing. “Wait-can uh–just drop me off at Valley’s instead please.” She stated & I gave her a confused look. “Wait, like Valley’s Hotel?” I asked to make sure & she nodded her head slowly at me. “Why?” I asked baffled & she moved her head around in a complicated gesture. “I just don't wanna go home and be around my dad right now. It’s just a shitty day. First I find out my fucking vagina is gonna hurt for a week or two, then I find out  _ I _ k-killed your baby and I got–r-raped. What a great fucking second time.” She said sarcastically & sadly as my eyebrows pulled together into a questioning look. “You did not  _ kill  _ our baby, Emma it’s not your fault and I’ll continue to remind you that until you believe it.” I stated & it looked like a shiver shot through her body as she stared at me. Her words about her horrible day rang through my head again & I pursed my lips together in confusion.

 

    “Wait–second time? What do you mean by that?” I interrogated & Emma’s mouth dropped open slightly before shrugging & turning back to look down at the clothes she was emptying out from the bag & into her hands. “I dunno.” She muttered & I glared at her. “Yes you do. You said it. What the fuck do you mean by second time?!” I asked, my voice only getting slightly louder. “I don’t remember.” She mumbled again & I stepped closer to her. “Emma tell me–wait. Are you talking about Cameron….? Does that mean–wait I took your fucking virginity?!” I exclaimed as my stomach flipped & she didn’t say anything, picking at a thread on her hoodie she held in her hands. “Emma what the fuck?! Why didn’t you tell me that?!” I asked incredulously & she looked up at me with slightly confused eyes. “Because it’s not like you would’ve given a fuck a few weeks ago, you probably would’ve just laughed at me and told me to fuck off.” She said quietly & my jaw hung open slightly. “Emma I’m not that heartless. I took your fucking virginity when you were drunk. My God.” I repeated, running a hand through my thick hair as I began to pace back & forth slightly. Blurred & drunk memories flashed through my head from that particular night, making me sigh in regret that she had even went along with what we were doing. My thoughts them turned to Cameron, him being her first non-drunk-fuck. My jaw clenched. That fucker didn’t deserve to get to do that to her. I was gonna fucking shove his own arm up his ass so far that he’ll turn himself into a shish kabob.

 

    My anger getting the best of me, I turned on my heel & headed straight for the doorway. “Ethan?” I heard Emma’s voice ask from behind me & I saw red as I wondered if she had cried for me to come help her but I was too fucking late. Cameron’s bitchass is done for. I felt her small hand suddenly grip my bicep just as I reached the doorway & I snapped my head around to look down at her. “Let go Emma. I have a bitch’s neck to snap.” I gritted out & she raised her eyebrows at me, not following my instruction as she put her other hand on my other bicep & made my whole body face her. “Emma, no. I’m for real, let me the fuck go.” I practically growled out, pushing as gently as I could manage right now at her arms. “Ethan, look at me.” She said & I continued to struggle against her, not able to escape her grip without the possibility of hurting her. “Ethan.” She said again & I ignored her. Suddenly a pair of warm lips were smashed against mine & my eyes widened momentarily, before my tense figure reluctantly relaxed against her touch. She pulled away from my mouth slowly & pressed our foreheads together, looking directly into my eyes. “Calm down.” She whispered, sounding a little out of breath. My hard eyes softened & I sighed, pulling her closer against me. “Fuck you Chamberlain.” I muttered into her ear & felt her body tense up for a moment. “What?” She asked, sounding small. “How do you have control like this over me?” I asked while chuckling in annoyance & she relaxed, pulling away to look at me better. She simply shrugged & gave me a small smile. “Emma?” I asked & she hummed in response. “It’s not your fault, I promise.” I stated, thinking again about Cameron killing both the baby & Emma’s self-love all in one day. “I’ll only believe that if you promise me you won’t do anything bad to Cameron.” She mumbled & I scoffed at her in disbelief. “What?! No.” I responded immediately & she rolled her eyes. I groaned. “ _ Fine _ .” I dragged out & she smiled at me, flashing her bright teeth. “Anyways, you can just stay at our house for as long as you need to. I’m sure my mom wouldn’t mind.” I explained & she nodded, yawning a little as she pulled me back in a little hesitantly for another hug & buried her face into my chest.

 

    A pang of warmth ran through me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be a bonus chapter I promise. so sorry about this chapter. oml. actual tears of disgust. ly tho. <3


	25. TWENTY FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bam. bonus chappie is here. enjoy? :)

**Emma Pov.**

 

    I yawned & pressed my back closer into the beige couch, pulling the chunky knit blanket further onto my shoulders. My hands were resting on my empty-feeling stomach under the blanket as I tried not to think about how it had lost it's full feeling today. After Ethan & I's deep talk about our feelings—me explaining to both him & myself that I was in love with him—Doctor Beth had come back into the room, telling me what I had to do because of the baby's death. I had to push out it's small, dead corpse. When it was all over I chose not to look at the innocent thing, not wanting to breakdown again. I was gonna stay at the Dolan's tonight, Ethan insisting & me not wanting to go home to my dad. I didn't even tell my own father I was pregnant & I don't plan to.

 

    Ethan shifted his position next to me while staring at the movie playing on the bright screen infront of us, his knee brushing against my blanketed one. “Stop hogging the blanket, I'm fucking freezing.” He groaned, tugging on the blanket & I tugged back. “Awe, you poor baby.” I snorted, pulling the blanket closer to myself & ignoring his tugging hand. “ _ Emma _ .” He pleaded in a deep tone & I smiled to myself, pretending to not hear him & be interested on what was happening in the movie. “Fine.” I heard him state next to me & I was about to mock him before large hands suddenly scooped me up, pulling me on top of him. I blushed deeply as he wrapped his arms around me, not letting me escape. “ _ Ethan _ .” I groaned, pushing against his chest playfully. “I thought you 'don't know your feelings’, yet here you are forcibly cuddling me?” I challenged, raising an eyebrow up at him. He rolled his eyes at me & licked the inside of his cheek as he stared at the television. “Okay Mr. Tough-Guy.” I said sarcastically & laid my chin back down on his collarbones, turning my body to the side slightly so I could get a better view of the television. I suddenly felt his hand slip under the blanket on me, the pad of his thumb starting to subconsciously trace random patterns onto my upper arm. Goosebumps rose up on my skin & I felt my face get hot. I found myself focusing more on his touch that was continuously switching locations than Stitch's thick alienated accent talking on the television. 

 

    “Oh my—you guys are back?!” I recognized James' voice suddenly exclaim from the doorway to the living room & I lifted my head up off of Ethan, looking over at my friend. “Yeah, we got back around an hour ago…..” Ethan trailed off from above me, his voice soundly slightly tired. “You could've said something. Grayson's been moping in bed ever since school ended and will barely talk to me because of how worried he is about you Emma. You sister-shit-head.” James explained, pointing a glare at me. Ethan chuckled at James’ name calling, making his chest vibrate under me. I went to climb off of Ethan, wanting to go make sure my best friend was alright. Ethan only tightened his arms around me & I groaned, looking down at him. “ _ Ethan _ . I need to go check on your brother, let go.” I said & he shook his head, his grip staying the same. “No, you're warm.” He hummed, smiling drowsily up at me. He seemed to like love & affection now ever since I showed him what it actually felt like. My heart fluttered for a moment before I reached a hand in between us & poked his ribcage, causing him to laugh as his grip loosened. I took advantage & climbed off of him, running over to James so he wouldn't be able to catch me. I chuckled at Ethan's sad expression he was giving me from the couch. I turned to look at James who was staring back & forth between Ethan & I with a shocked expression. I smiled & grabbed James’ arm, pulling his shocked form with me down the hallway & towards the stairs. 

 

    Once we reached the top of the stairs I had already explained everything that had happened to James, him not being able to stop giving me wide & confused eyes. “Oh my actual God. I don’t know about you but to me it seems like he’s in love with you too.” James said while smirking & I rolled my eyes, swatting at his shoulder. I looked up to see that we were already in front of Grayson’s bedroom door. I sighed & knocked on the wooden structure, waiting to hear a response. “What.” I heard Grayson’s muffled voice say from the other side of the door, sounding uninterested & sad. “Hey loser.” I said softly as I opened the door, seeing Grayson shoot up from where he was curled up on his bed & run towards the doorway. “Grays—” I tried to stop him before he tackled me to the floor in a hug. I winced, there still being a good amount of pain in the lower half of my body. “Oh my God I’m sorry. I was just really worried about you and I got anxious.” Grayson said quickly & scrambled off of me, holding a hand out for me to take so that he could pull me up. I let his hand linger in the air for a moment, taking deep breaths to get rid of the familiar ache in my stomach & crotch area. “The fuck did you do Grayson?!” I suddenly heard Ethan’s voice exclaim & I looked to see him jogging over to me from the top of the stairway. I was suddenly being scooped up into his arms bridal style as he glared at Grayson across the hallway. “She just got out of the fucking hospital and you tackle her?! What the fuck were you thinki—” Ethan began to curse at his twin & I put a hand on the side of his reddening face, gently making him look down at me. “E, I’m fine. I promise. It’s not Gray’s fault.” I said to him, feeling as his heaving chest slowly calmed down. Grayson was looking at us with a confused expression & I watched James lean in to whisper in his boyfriend’s ear, explaining to him everything that had happened. “Still. He should know better. I should’ve known better.” Ethan said lowly from above me & I moved my eyes back up to look at him. “What are you talking about?” I asked, standing up out of his arms & planting my feet onto the floor in front of him. “I should’ve stopped being a little needy pussy and stayed away from you after Meredith beat you up, she warned you and I didn’t fucking listen because I….” He trailed off like he didn’t want to finish what he was going to say & I cupped his cheeks again, making him look down at the floor & avoid my eyes. “Ethan, look at me.” I whispered & his eyes dragged up to meet mine. “That wasn’t your fault, this–this isn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself for not wanting to be away from me, you were naturally drawn to affection. You’re love-starved Ethan and it’s not your fault.” I explained quietly & he bit his lip, staring directly into my eyes with an unreadable expression. I stroked my thumb across his cheek & moved my arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him against me into a hug as I closed my eyes. He immediately reacted & hugged me back, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. I opened my eyes & pressed a small reassuring kiss to the base of his neck, seeing all of the hickies from the wild night of spin the bottle.

 

    “Wanna go to the theme park tonight?” James asked across from Ethan & I on the other couch while scrolling through his phone. After Grayson had been caught up & I had received a few bone-crushing hugs, we had decided to go back into the living room & continue watching one of my favorite childhood movies. My jaw dropped open at James’ question. “It’s winter! It’s fucking freezing out and it’s already night time!” Grayson exclaimed by James’ side, taking the words rights out of my mouth. “So? All of the snow melted because of how sunny it was yesterday and plus, the park is gonna be lit up by all of the rides.” James countered & Grayson squinted his eyes at him with a dumbfounded expression. “Do you know how many gangs and rapists hang around there at night?!” Grayson asked & I felt Ethan’s arms tighten around me slightly, making me melt against his warm chest more. “We’ll be fine, correct me if I’m wrong but we’ll have two beefy daddies there to protect us.” James said while smirking & I felt Ethan cringe from behind me, Grayson only rolling his eyes & fighting the urge to smile next to James. “Come on, please. It’ll be fun.” James pleaded & Grayson stared at him for a good twenty seconds before groaning & accepting his plead. “Yay! Are you guys in?!” James asked excitedly, looking over at Ethan & I. Ethan didn’t respond from behind me & I shrugged. “Why the hell not, it could be fun I guess.” I responded & felt Ethan shift around a little against me. “I’m in.” Ethan’s voice announced & James practically squealed. “Alright, but we gotta go right now if we don’t wanna wait in line long for wristbands.” James stated & Grayson nodded along with me as I stood up off of Ethan’s warm embrace, him getting up after me. 

 

    “I’m driving!” Ethan’s deep voice bellowed throughout the garage, earring  groan of disappointment from Grayson. “Fine, I get shotgun.” Grayson said with little enthusiasm. James & I looked at each other & shared a shrug, climbing into the backseat of Ethan’s ‘Range Rover’. Four doors slammed shut against the shiny metal of the vehicle before the engine purred to life & Ethan pulled out of the driveway, careful of the mailbox at the end. Grayson hooked up the aux cord to his phone & began to play some Kid Cudi as we drove down the road, the darkness of night surrounding the vehicle. I cuddled up close to James we wrapped our arms around each other in a friendly way, James was gay after all. James leaned his head on top of mine tiredly & I giggled, wrapping around him like a koala bear. James chuckled back & wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “What are you two laughing about back there?” Grayson asked, sounding like a dad. “Nothing.” I stayed & saw Grayson roll his eyes through the mirror that hung from the roof of the car. I sighed with a smile on my face as Ethan turned the volume of the song up, snuggling closer to James.

 

    “Wake up you sister-snooze!” Somebody suddenly yelled in my ear & I flinched awake, blinking my eyes slowly at the painfully bright & colorful lights surrounding me. I buried my face back into whatever I was on, hiding my eyes from being blinded. I felt my wrist being lifted up & tugged around before something cold was wrapped around it, making me lift my head back up again & squint through the colorful lights flashing everywhere. I saw Grayson wrapping a bright pink wristband around my small wrist as he gave me a goofy smile. I smiled lazily back at him & felt something move under me, realizing it was Ethan’s back muscles as I looked down & saw that he was giving me a piggyback ride. He turned his head, looking at me out of the corner of his chocolatey eyes & flashing me a small smile. I returned the smile & he slowly let go of my thighs, allowing me to slip off of him & stand up as I stretched out my tired limbs. “Can we go on the ferris wheel first?!” Grayson asked excitedly like a five year old, causing the rest of our group to laugh & nod. Grayson grabbed James’ hand & dragged him towards the large & colorful wheel. I laughed as Ethan grabbed my hand playfully & I sprinted along with him, following the couple in front of us. We stood in the small line & waited for our turn, not realizing our fingers were still entertained with one another. I felt Ethan brush the pad of his thumb against my knuckle & I blushed, smiling up at him. He looked down at me with his lips slightly parted into a soft smile, the blinking lights all around us glimmering in his eyes. He looked so harmless & soft in this moment, you would have never thought that he had anger issues looking into those softened pupils. I sighed in content, dragging my eyes away from his as we moved up our place in line. I looked around the fairgrounds, seeing what ride I wanted to go on next. 

 

    A seemingly familiar head of roughly tousled brown hair caught my eye as they walked by one of the many food stands & I shrugged it off, moving my eyes back to the ride manager in front of us as he asked to see our wristbands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oOh wHo diD eMmA sEe?? drAmA iN nExT ChaP bc we all know that’s like all that I write is drama. but don’t worry, soft shit is also coming. :)) ily all. honestly ur comments mean the most to me & always put a smile on my face, especially when y’all take the time to write a whole paragraph to me. ME. like I’m really worth that amount of time? I’m gonna sister sob ily all ok bye, see u in two days. <3


	26. TWENTY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh sorry lol I feel asleep. enjoy mothertruckers. <3

**Emma Pov.**

 

“Smile!” I groaned, pushing lightly at Ethan’s chest with my free hand & making his eyes widen as the Ferris wheel cart we were in rocked dangerously. He gripped the sides of the cart & I laughed. “Jesus, are you trying to get us killed?!” He asked & I rolled my eyes, holding up my phone again. “Well if you would have just smiled instead of glaring at the camera then I wouldn’t have done anything.” I explained & he rolled his eyes in return, giving a fake smile as I sighed & took the picture anyway. Our cart neared the bottom of the giant wheel, signaling our ride was over. The ride manager pulled a red lever on his controls & waved us off, the door on our cart being unlocked as we stepped out onto the fair’s ground. Grayson & James had gotten off a little before us, running off to who knows where in the sea of candy-thrilled children & tired parents. “Let’s go on ‘Tilt-a-Whirl’!” I announced, grabbing Ethan’s bicep with intent & pointing at the childish & spinning ride. He raised an eyebrow at the ride & looked down at me, making me give him a cheesy smile. He shook his head with a small chuckle & nodded as I practically dragged him towards the desired ride, ignoring the ache in my lower stomach. I would rather have fun than drawl on the thoughts of what had happened today.

 

    A good amount of kids poured out of the exit railing door as we arrived to ‘Tilt-a-Whirl’ & the old ride manager opened the entrance gate for Ethan & I, glancing quickly at our wristbands. There were seven different colored capsules to choose from & I looked between them, Ethan shrugging beside me. My eyes lingered on the blue one & I decided, pulling him over to the smallish seating space inside of it. We sat down with a good amount of space between us, pulling the metal bar down over our legs for safety as we stared at the other capsules & waited for them to fill up. 

 

    I looked up at Ethan & he sensed my eyes on him, looking back at me. A small cold breeze blew into the small contraption we were in, ruffling Ethan’s hair & exposing his usually hidden blue strands as they rested near his temple. I smiled at the sight of them, the color almost matching the cart we were in right now. Suddenly the ride hummed to life & the metal platforms under us began to move in a circle, the individual capsules starting to spin as I looked forward instead. I squealed as the ride made a hard spin, causing me to slide against Ethan & blush when he didn’t do anything about it. He only smiled down at me & then flinched as we were jolted into yet another round of spins.

 

    “What are you doing?” Ethan asked as I held up a piece of bright blue cotton candy from the bag, lingering it in the air near his head. “Comparing the color to the strands in your hair.” I stated causally, coming to a conclusion that the blue raspberry cotton candy was much lighter than the ocean dark strands in his hair. He shook his head, chuckling & grabbing the sugary cotton from my fingers only to pop it into his mouth. He cringed & swallowed the candy as I ate some from the large bag left of it. “How can you eat that much sugar after being spun around for a good five minutes?” He asked quizzically in disbelief & I shrugged, placing some more colored cotton onto my tongue. “The real question is, why would you buy it for me when you know I’m gonna get all hyped?” I said back & he sighed dramatically as I giggled. “Wanna go on ‘Pharaoh's Boat’ next?” He suddenly asked, sounding a little excited & I frowned. I hated that ride. It scared me. I watched pitifully as he looked down at me with a genuinely happy expression & I sighed, knowing I was going to give in to keep that beautiful smile on his face. “Sure.” I said while laughing lightly, pretending to be excited. He grinned even wider & grabbed the now empty bag of cotton candy from me, tossing it into the garbage nearby. I raised an eyebrow at his excitement when he grabbed my hand into his large one & dragged me towards the giant swinging boat. 

 

    I gulped as Ethan & I walked up the steps to the now stilled ship with Pharaoh’s face carved into the front of it. The punk-looking teenager who was managing the ride asked boredly to see our bright wristbands, making me even more nervous knowing that  _ he  _ would be running the ride. He looked high as fuck right now & like a goth rapist, making me shiver as he stared at me for a moment. I guess Ethan had some of the same thoughts about him, his hand suddenly pulling me closer to his body. I blushed as Ethan clenched his jaw at the goth kid, making him sigh & roll his eyes. His now monotone gaze scanned over Ethan & I’s wristbands, waving us in with a bored hand. “Go to the very back! Go to the very back!” Ethan said excitedly & my eyes widened as I realized that’s the part of the boat that goes the highest up. Of course it was Ethan’s favorite spot.

 

    I reluctantly followed Ethan all the way across the ramp to the back of the boat, stepping over the side & onto the metal floor of the ship. Ethan sat down in the middle of the bench there, patting the metal spot beside him as I smiled & hesitantly sat down next to him. A lump formed in my throat as the unsafe-looking metal bar went down over our legs, supposed to keep us in. More people trickled onto the boat, filling up most of the rows until the ride manager wouldn’t let anybody else in for now. I tried to control my breathing as the ride started up, practically feeling Ethan’s excitement radiating off of his skin beside me. The ship slowly started to rock back & forth, getting higher & higher each time it swung. I gripped the metal bar tightly, my knuckles turning white with fear as the boat was on its second to last highest swing. It swung forward once more, my ass rising from the bench slightly from gravity & I gasped. As the ship swung back & we were almost upside down, I lost it. “Ethan! Ethan. Ethan. Ethan, oh my God!” I screamed, grabbing onto his arm as I panicked & squeezed my eyes shut. I buried my face into the sleeve’s material on his bicep, screaming again as it felt like we were dangerously close to falling out of the metal constraint bar. Ethan’s whole body vibrated with laughter & I shook my head against him, squealing as my stomach dropped. I only felt him laugh harder, hearing it from above me as well.

 

    “Emma, come on, I’m sorry! You should’ve told me you didn’t like that ride.” Ethan pleaded as he trailed behind me, touching my wrist which I yanked away as I continued walking. “You were laughing at me you douche!” I stated, turning around to see him staring at me with a desperate expression. His frown then wavered, turning into a wobbly smile as he laughed & wiped fake tears from under his eyes. “I’m sorry–I just-you were so scared and all the screaming!” He said, laughing to mostly himself as I gave him an unamused facial expression. “Whatever.” I grumbled & rolled my eyes, looking around the carnival. Even with the darkness of night surrounding us, the area was still lit up with many different flashing colored lights. “If it makes you feel any better, I’m scared of the ‘Zipper’.” Ethan said finally, referring to the ride where you get into a cage-like box that’s on a sideways spinning & moving contraption as the cage you’re in spins you around & upside down. I loved it. 

 

    “How?! That ride is the shit.” I stated in disbelief & Ethan shook his head with his eyebrows raised in protest. “Last time I puked after Gray and I went on it.” He explained with a smallish smile, slightly seeming to look off into space. My heart softened at the nickname he used for Grayson, he seemed to never use his nickname. “I miss those times.” He admitted, sounding a little sad & I frowned. I walked the short distance over to him & wrapped my arms around his neck, engulfing him into a comforting hug. “You can always get them back.” I mumbled against his hoodie & he sighed, wrapping his arms around me as well. I felt him rest his chin in my hair Ashe shrugged. “Yeah but Gray hates me now so…” He trailed off & I pulled away to look up at him. “He doesn’t hate you Ethan. You’ve changed.” I stated simply & he gave me a warm smile that I didn’t understand the emotion of. “I know.” He responded & I mentally shrugged, looking around at all of the people bustling by.

 

    My eyes landed on a familiar head of blonde hair & my heart faltered as the boy turned around, revealing my ex boyfriend Weston. Ethan felt me tense up & his eyes followed mine, staring at the blonde & sweet boy. “Who’s that?” Ethan asked & I hesitated. I could just say Weston was second cousin or an old friend or something. I didn’t want to stir the pot of drama. “My ex.” I blurted out before I could process what I was saying. Ethan didn’t respond & I looked up at him, seeing his jaw clenched as he continued to stare at Weston. “E?” I questioned & got no response, his eyes not leaving my ex boyfriend’s back. Weston eventually turned around & caught my eyes, his eyebrows furrowing momentarily before his face lit up with a bright smile & he started to walk my way. He was around halfway to me when I was suddenly pressed against one of the wooden poles holding up the picnic table tent, a pair of lips smashing against mine greedily. My eyes widened as Ethan was pressed flush against me, making me melt into the kiss & move my lips against his own.

 

    After a few moments Ethan pulled away from me slowly & I blinked my eyes open, looking into his eyes which held a dark glint as he looked around at our surroundings. I looked past his head, noticing that Weston was nowhere to be seen anymore. “That was sudden.” I mumbled, not knowing how else to respond. He just stared at me for a moment before moving away from me silently & letting me step away from the pole. “E?” I asked & he slowly turned his head down to look at me. “Uh-I–why?” I stammered, referring to his most recent actions. Not that I was complaining about them. He shrugged tensely, looking back around the fairgrounds. “Wanna see if we can find Grayson and James?” He asked gruffly, avoiding my question. My thoughts travelled back to Weston & it clicked in my brain, making me raise an eyebrow. Was Ethan jealous?! 

 

    “Emma! There you guys are!” I heard James sing from behind me before I had the chance to interrogate Ethan. I turned around, being face with Grayson & James holding hands as they walked towards Ethan & I. Grayson looked pale & a bit green. “You okay Gray?” I asked & he meekly nodded at me, looking off into the distance. “We just got off of the ‘Fire Ball’ and he puked his guts out, I think we should go home.” James explained & I gave Grayson a look of sympathy. “No, don’t go home because of me.” Grayson groaned, looking at the three of us. I chuckled, ruffling his already messed up hair. “It’s fine Gray, I’m kinda tired anyways. It’s getting late.” I stated & earned nods of agreement from both James & Ethan. “Alright, let's go then.” Ethan said & all four of us began walking towards the exit.

 

**Ethan Pov.**

 

James, Grayson, Emma & I were heading for the exit when a slim figure with roughly tousled brown hair caught my eyes as they seemed familiar. When they finally turned around for a moment my blood boiled & I clenched my fists.

 

    It was Cameron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should I put out a bonus chapter for issues or update shutter island??  
> ily all. <3333333333


	27. TWENTY SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I MADE IT!!

**Emma Pov.**

 

Just as we were about to reach the exit of the fairgrounds, Ethan froze next to me. “E, Can you walk any slower?” I asked, sarcasm dripping from my voice. He didn’t laugh, didn’t move a muscle. Suddenly his hands clenched into fists at his sides & his neck was starting to turn an angry red as a few prominent veins came to the surface of his hot skin. “Ethan…” I trailed off quizzically, looking at his glazed over dark eyes that were gazing intently at something. I turned my head in the direction of where he was staring & my blood ran cold when what he was looking at caught my eye. My breath hitched & I stumbled back a few steps, my back hitting Grayson’s broad chest. “Well hello to you too?” Grayson said unsurely & I shook my head, tears forming in my eyes as I stared across the fair at my rapist.  _ Cameron _ was at the carnival. 

 

    “G-Grayson, G-Gray.” I stuttered, wrapping my arms around his muscular arm. I started to shake & I buried my face into his shoulder. “Emma, wha–Ethan stop!” Grayson suddenly exclaimed & my head shot up at Ethan’s name, my eyes snapping over to see Ethan running angrily at a now glaring Cameron. “No!” I heard James yell as well in a high-pitched voice & I was suddenly being shoved off of Grayson & my ass hit the damp grass as the couple ran towards Ethan who had just reached Cameron. “You fucker!” Ethan yelled. I watched, stunned, as Ethan’s fist collided with the side of Cameron’s face & Cameron grabbed Ethan’s wrist to twist it around. Ethan flipped around, yanking his arm away & tackled Cameron into the dirt before throwing more blows at his face. Cameron raised his leg up, blood dripping out of his nose as he kicked Ethan in the back of the head. Ethan was stunned momentarily & Cameron shoved him off of himself, making Ethan’s head collide with the metal base of one of the fair rides. Cameron scrambled to his feet as blood trickled out of his mouth & fell onto the grass, few red drops staining the green blades. “She was a good fuck, Dolan.” Cameron said maniacally, grinning with blood wet lips as he looked up through his eyelashes at me. Tears formed in my eyes & I felt sick. 

 

    Ethan practically growled on the ground & Cameron started to kick him in the stomach, making Ethan curl in on himself in pain before suddenly grabbing Cameron’s ankle & yanking him down to the ground. Ethan climbed onto Cameron before he could do anything & wrapped his hand around Cameron’s throat. “Why do you even care about her? All you do is fuck girls and leave them.” Cameron said raspily while his hand fell on top of Ethan’s that was restricting his air, causing Ethan to grip his windpipe tighter. “She was fucking pregnant you bastard! You killed  _ my _ baby.” Ethan yelled in Cameron’s face & Cameron’s jaw dropped open as my world stopped. A small half-circle of people had formed around the two fighting guys, James & Grayson nowhere to be seen as I panicked on the ground. My heart was beating loudly in my chest & I felt like I couldn’t breathe as I watched Ethan stare down at Cameron with more hate in his eyes than I have ever seen. Cameron suddenly sent a hard blow to the pane of Ethan’s stomach & Ethan inhaled sharply, involuntarily loosening his grip around Cameron’s throat. Cameron roughly grabbed Ethan by his hair & pulled his head up, punching him square in the nose. “I didn’t know she was pregnant asshole,” Cameron growled out, standing up & kneeing Ethan in the chest, causing him to groan out in pain before Cameron leaned down close to his ear, “and it was worth it anyways.” My lungs felt like they had been crushed & hot tears ran down my flushed, cold cheeks. “That’ll be the last fucking thing that ever comes out of your mouth!” Ethan shouted loudly, his voice cracking with anger as he scrambled to his feet & grabbed Cameron’s head, bringing it down roughly onto his knee. Cameron growled in pain & shoved Ethan against the wooden fence that outlined the fairgrounds, grabbing his shoulders & slamming his back into the wooden structure over & over again. Ethan groaned out in pain & my heart clenched as he flipped Cameron & him around, ignoring the pain. Ethan pinned Cameron’s legs down with his knee & grabbed his wrists with both of his larger hands, leaning in close to Cameron. “You should have never and I mean  _ never _ , fucking came near Emma.” Ethan growled out & was about to punch Cameron again but was suddenly grabbed as his face was slammed down onto the hood of a police car, handcuffs being latched onto his wrists. I couldn’t move, frozen in fear as everything moved in slow motion. Red & blue lights flashed everywhere near the entrance of the fair as two other cops ran towards Cameron, tackling him to the ground & shoving his bloody face into the dirt as they handcuffed him as well. 

 

    “Which one?!” The cop who was pressing Ethan down against the hood of the car yelled out suddenly, blood trickling out of Ethan’s busted lip & onto the shiny metal vehicle. “The other one is Cameron!” Grayson’s voice shouted, appearing next to the entrance of the fair, along with James by his side. “Alright, boy, you’re free to go.” The cop who was holding Ethan said & released him, quickly taking off the handcuffs, then jogging over to where his partners were handling Cameron. Ethan rubbed his slightly irritated wrists & I breathed in shakily as people ran past my shaking form on the ground, being attracted to the commotion of cops. My hazy eyes moved to look at Cameron’s face shoved onto the ground, my blood running cold as his heartless eyes met mine. His bludgeoned face spread into a smirk & my heart skipped a beat in fear before arms were suddenly wrapped around me, causing me to scream & flinch. “It’s just me, it’s just me, shh.” Ethan’s voice said into my ear & I relaxed against his broad chest, turning & wrapping my arms around his neck as I buried my face into his hoodie. “Ethan.” I whimpered, only wanting to hear his raspy yet soothing voice again. “I know,  _ fuck _ . You don’t deserve anything that has happened to you yesterday and today. We shouldn’t have come here. You need time.” Ethan explained, sounding like he was almost talking to himself but I didn’t respond, wanting nothing more than to be held in the strong arms of the boy I loved. Even if he didn’t feel the same.

 

    Ethan kept my shaking body in his arms as he picked me up, causing me to cling my arms tighter around his neck & wrap my legs around his waist as he placed his hands on my lower back. I kept my face buried in his neck, a few tears of shock still running down my face & dampening Ethan’s skin. “Jesus, you’re shaking so badly.” Ethan muttered above me & my body swayed side to side a little as he started to walk. “Gray! James! Over here!” He yelled, his chest vibrating at his voice as he removed one hand from the small of my back & waved it around in the air. I sniffled into the collar of his hoodie & held onto his warm body tighter as he jogged across the black tar under his feet. I heard a vehicle door being opened & felt Ethan suddenly climb into his ‘Range Rover’, keeping me now on his lap as I didn’t move. “Emma?” I faintly heard James ask from the passenger seat & instead of answering him, I focused on getting my breathing back to normal. “I think she’s in shock, she hasn’t said anything but one word since I found her on the ground.” Ethan mumbled above me & I inhaled deeply, my shaking lungs trying to get enough air. The scent of Ethan’s cologne filled my nostrils & I relished in the scent, liking how it was a sweet yet spicy smell at the same time. “I’m so sorry that he was there.” Ethan mumbled into my ear, his hands grazing up & down my back comfortingly. “And I’m sorry for starting a fight.” He continued & I blinked slowly, my eyelashes fluttering against the base of his neck. “It’s just when he-he looked at you like...you were something he wanted to eat, I just-lost it…” He trailed off above me & I could tell he was trying to control his anger, the movements of his hand on my back coming to a stop. I pulled my head away from his neck slowly looked into his distracted eyes, causing his gaze to then meet mine & his pupils softened as I stared into his dark green orbs. Without a word, I leaned back forward & resumed my face’s position in the crook of his neck. His chest rose & fell as he sighed, his hands going back to tracing random & sleepy patterns onto my back. My eyes slowly blinked closed & I succumbed to my exhaustion, falling asleep.

 

    I felt somebody suddenly softly nudge my shoulder & I groaned, opening my eyes as Ethan gave me a warm smile with his busted lip while looking down at me still on his lap. I yawned & then went back to my original position with my face stuffed into his neck. He chuckled above me & I could imagine him shaking his head. “Come on, you can stay the night at our place. You’re already fucking exhausted clearly, I can see the drool on my hoodie.” He stated & I rolled my eyes under my closed eyelids, slapping his shoulder lightly with all of the energy I had. He laughed lightly & hooked one arm under my ass to hold me up as he opens the car door & stepped out onto the cement. The cold night’s air blew against my back & I shivered as he slammed the car door shut behind us. I lifted my head up to look around outside, the only dim lighting coming from a streetlight near the end of the Dolan’s driveway. I moved my eyes to look at the front door we were headed towards, seeing Grayson’s dark figure messing around with the key to it & seeming like he was struggling with getting the door unlocked. “Where’s James?” I asked confused, my voice thick from the short amount of sleep I had received during the car ride. “We dropped him off at his house, his mom wanted him home for a baby shower he has to go to tonight.” Ethan explained as he continued to walk towards the front porch & I nodded in understanding as I ducked my head back into his shoulder. 

 

    Ethan & I finally reached the porch & Grayson’s dark figure was still messing around with the key in the keyhole of the big white door. “Gray, come on, it can’t be that fucking hard!” Ethan groaned, laughing lightly as I let out a soft laugh through my nose. “Grayson’s gone.” Grayson suddenly said in a different voice, turning around slowly & my breathing stopped as I realized it was Cameron & not Grayson. I felt Ethan’s whole body tense under me, spikes of panic running through my veins. “Y-you got arrested.” I stated, looking over Ethan’s shoulder at Cameron’s still bloody face. Cameron nodded his head, moving his head around for a moment before looking down at something in his hand. “Yeah, well, those cops should really keep their guns in a more secure holster…” He trailed off & suddenly cocked a small handgun, moving it up & pointing it directly at Ethan’s head. “No! Cameron stop, please! I’ll do anything!” I pleaded & Cameron only glared at me, pushing the barrel of the gun closer to Ethan’s forehead. “Too. Fucking. Late. You lost that option when Dolan over here decided to break my fucking nose.” Cameron spat & before I could scream or yell, he pulled the trigger & Ethan’s breath hitched below me as the loud gunshot rang throughout the neighborhood. My heart stopped.

 

    “-mma!” I gasped & shot up in whatever I was laying on, feeling tears running down my face as my whole body shook with tremors of fear & nerves. A large hand touched my inner arm & I flinched greatly, my head hitting the headboard of the bed I was on. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, it was just a nightmare.” Ethan’s gentle voice suddenly soothed next to me in the dark as he pulled me into his arms & I shook against his chest, cuddling closer to his body warmth as my breath hitched loudly every time I tried to breathe. “Etha-an?” I stuttered, cupping his face in my shaky & cold hands to make sure this was real. “Yes, I’m here, I promise. You’re alright.” He whispered, turning his head slightly to kiss the palm of my jittery hand that rested on his cheek. He pulled me closer to his shirtless body as he was only wearing dark grey sweatpants, rocking my body slowly in his arms as I attempted to calm down my shaky breathing. “Breathe, ‘s okay.” He mumbled into my ear & my body melted against his warm touch as I looked around the room, realizing I was in the guest room at the Dolan’s house. “H-How did you know?” I asked, referring to him somehow knowing that I was having a bad dream. He pulled me even closer against his warm chest & sighed. “I could hear you crying & screaming from my room down the hallway.” He explained & I stayed still as he combed his fingers through my hair comfortingly. My eyelids fluttered shut at his gentle gestures & he suddenly moved us so that were were laying down, pulling the heavy comforter over our tangled bodies as I wrapped my arms around him to keep him close. “Stay.” I said quietly, only half hoping that he would hear me as my voice cracked.

 

    “Always.” Ethan responded & he pulled my small frame even closer, engulfing me in his soothing body heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof.


	28. TWENTY EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehe. fluff. enjoy. ;)

**Emma Pov.**

 

My eyelids slowly fluttered open as I felt warm sunlight shining onto my face. I looked in front of me at the thin white curtains sheltering the window, the thin material allowing rays of sunlight to shine through. My eyebrows furrowed & I squinted at the bright light, starting to sit up but freezing when I felt somebody sigh deeply & tighten their arm around my waist. I looked behind me, seeing Ethan’s relaxed face, his lips slightly parted & his eyelids heavily shut with sleep. My eyes softened at the sight. He looked so peaceful when he slept. He actually stayed with me? 

 

    I turned my body around in Ethan’s arms so that I was facing him as I laid on my side, causing him to subconsciously pull me closer to him. I blushed at how close we were, chest to chest with our legs tangled together somehow. He wasn’t wearing a shirt either, exposing his broad chest that was tanned with summer sun. The warm rays of sun were shining softly onto his skin, making his eyelashes cascade light shadows onto his cheeks. I brought my hand up & gently stroked his warm cheekbone, relishing in the ethereal moment.

 

    The soft touch of my fingertips on Ethan’s skin caused him to stir in his sleep & move the position of his head so he was facing the ceiling instead. I frowned as his shift in positions revealed a dark bruise on the side of his face that was previously hidden in the pillow. I thought about last night's events–yesterday’s events more specifically. If I hadn’t agreed to go to that stupid carnival then none of this would have ever happened. I only agreed to go because I thought it would take my mind off of every other terrible thing that happened that day, but it only made it worse as the rapist himself was there.

 

    My fingers found their way over to playing gently with Ethan’s soft hair as I laid there, soaking up both thoughts & the warm sun shining through the thin curtains. I didn’t know what to think. In the hospital I had told Ethan I was in love with him & I was, not knowing why. But, he obviously hadn’t returned the feelings then & I didn’t know his thoughts. He gives me mixed signals. One moment it seems like we’re just friends & the next moment he’s kissing me into tomorrow because he’s jealous over my ex boyfriend. He’s also protective now I guess, considering what had just happened to Cameron last night. I wanted to know Ethan’s actual thoughts about me being pregnant with his baby, what did  _ he _ feel when I told him that I lost the innocent thing. What his thoughts would’ve been if the baby was still alive, but I know he wouldn’t stay with me if it was. He wouldn’t want that responsibility. Who would want to love something that came from something they don’t love? Doesn’t matter anyways, that’s not how life decided to work out. Just the memory brought unwanted tears to my eyes as my fingers stopped their motions in Ethan’s hair, thinking about if the baby did survive–seeing him with such a small & innocent thing in his large arms.

 

    “Don’t stop.” I suddenly heard Ethan mumble with his eyes closed, snapping me out of my thoughts as I moved my eyes to his still shut ones. “Feels good.” He added sleepily & I let out a soft laugh through my nose as I started to play with his dark strands of hair again. He suddenly pulled me even closer to him, rolling back onto his side & a faint blush spread across my cheeks, my fingers not stopping their motions. “Why are you so comfortable,” He mumbled angrily & cursed himself around me even more, “and warm.” I chuckled & took advantage of the position he was in, wrapping my arms around him as well & sighing. His eyes were still closed above me & I could hear his heart beating peacefully in his smooth chest. “I’m sorry about yesterday, we shouldn’t have gone to the fair. That was a stupid choice on my part. And I shouldn’t have picked a fight with Cameron either as much as he deserved every single bruise he got.” He said in a serious tone above me, his voice sounding strained on the name ‘Cameron’. “It’s not your fault, it’s mine, I agreed to go. I only wanted to go so that I could get my mind off of everything else that happened during the day.” I muttered & his arms tightened around me. “It is  _ not  _ your fault.” He said lowly & I shivered at the tone of his voice. 

 

    A few peaceful moments of silence passed until Ethan sighed, his tanned chest moving up & down greatly. “It’s not your fault, you know?” He said & I gave his skin a confused look. “What?” I asked in confusion, referring to the fact that he had already said it’s not my fault. “I heard you mumbling in your sleep, tossing and turning. You kept talking about how it was your fault that our baby is dead. You wouldn’t stop until I hugged you.” He mentioned & my heart skipped a beat at his word choice of ‘our’. “It’s fucking Cameron’s fault. He pisses me off more than you could know.” He said with a hard voice & I could almost hear his teeth clench together. He took a moment to take in a deep breath as I didn’t know what to say. “I was gonna be an actual dad.” He said quietly, so quietly that if I wasn’t right under him to feel his jaw move then I don’t think I would’ve heard him. I pulled away as much as possible to get a good look at his face, to see whatever emotion he was feeling right now. His deep eyes were only staring ahead at the light yellow wall with an unreadable expression inside of them. “You would’ve wanted to keep it?” I asked, a little surprised that he would. His eyes flickered to mine & I blinked slowly. “I would’ve kept it because it probably had my good looks and the annoying parts of you in it that I’m good at ignoring.” He stated & I frowned as he snorted, his whole body shaking with laughter. I rolled my eyes & pushed myself out of his arms, rolling over to face the opposite way as him. “ _ Emmaaaa _ .” He groaned & I felt his muscular arms slither around my waist again. “I was  _ joking _ .” He said & I clenched my jaw, glaring at the yellow color of the wall. “I would’ve loved to keep it.” He said & my tense shoulders sagged slightly at his words. My heart warmed but I was still a little mad at his ‘oh so funny’ joke from before.

 

    “ _ Emma _ , talk to me.” Ethan whispered against the back of my neck, making goosebumps appear on the skin there as my heart rate picked up. “I  _ will _ .” He said in a threatening tone & my mouth opened slightly as I was about to question what he meant, but then I felt his large hand move to the side of my stomach. I shook my head. “Don’t you dare.” I stated & I felt his lips spread into a grin against the back of my neck as his fingers dug into the side of my stomach, making my back arch as I cried out with laughter. “Stop! Ethan!” I yelled in between laughter as he continued to assault me with his hands. His fingers poked my ribs & I laughed hysterically, even hearing him laugh a little as I squirmed around. I kicked at his legs as he continued to tickle me & yelled at him with a breathless voice. “Ethan!” I shouted & he let out a single syllable laugh, his hands coming to a stop. “Fine, fine, I’m done.” He said with a glint of humor in his eyes & I breathed in deeply, trying to catch my breath from the adrenaline rush. He locked his hands around the small of my back & pulled me closer to him again with a goofy smile on his face, making me laugh lightly. What are we?

 

    There was a sudden knock on the door & Ethan didn’t move from the position we were in, his chin moving onto the top of my head. “Yes?” I asked loudly & heard the metal handle on the door click before the door opened to reveal Grayson only in a pair of sweatpants with a nice rat’s nest sat upon his head. He rubbed his eyes & when his hazy eyes landed on Ethan & I snuggled up together, he raised his eyebrows. “Hey Gray, how are you?” Ethan said from above me, his throat rattling with raspiness from laughing. Grayson’s jaw dropped & his eyes moved from his twin, to me & then back to Ethan again. “Uh...fine. I guess…” Grayson trailed off & was staring at me with a look that told me he wanted to talk to me about something. I mouthed ‘breakfast’ to him, silently letting him know that we could talk in a little bit. He gave me a small nod. “Mom and dad just got back from the hotel.” Grayson announced with a smile sitting on his lips. I felt Ethan’s whole body tense up & I rubbed my thumb along the inside of his wrist in a soothing motion. “Okay.” Ethan said & sighed, his pointer finger twitching once with emotion that he couldn’t express infront of his brother. “Mom’s making breakfast and I already told her we’re staying home from school...but I didn’t tell her that Emma stayed the night.” Grayson explained & Ethan nodded as I played with his hand, bending his fingers & smoothing them out. “We’ll be out in a minute.” Ethan stated & his twin nodded, giving us one last lingering look before he turned around & closed the door behind him. 

 

    Ethan groaned from behind me & I smiled to myself at his annoyance. “At least your mom’s home too, not just your dad.” I mentioned & he grunted. “He’s still gonna do something. He always finds a way.” He said, his voice turning a little to what sounded like fear. I turned around in his loose arms so that I was facing him, placing my hands on his cheeks & tilting his head down to look at me. “Hey, I won’t let him.” I whispered & his eyes scanned over my face before a smile spread across his face. “I love it when you smile, you do it a lot more often now.” I mentioned & he rolled his eyes, his smile getting smaller but still there. “I have a reason too now.” He mumbled quietly & my lips parted in shock as his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink. “Are you blushing?!” I whisper yelled & his eyebrows furrowed. “No.” He scoffed & I rolled my eyes at him as a smile spread across my face. “You’re blushingggg.” I sang & moved one of my hands to squish his cheeks together, making him do duck lips. “Looks like it’s time for breakfast.” He muttered almost incoherently & I dropped my hand, sighing. “Whatever you say.” I said & wiggled out of his arms so I was sitting on the edge of the bed. He got out of the comfy bed to stand up & stretch, causing me to stand up as well. 

 

    I followed Ethan downstairs into the kitchen & as soon as we walked in, we were welcomed by the smell of bacon & the sound of eggs popping & sizzling. I saw the twin’s mom, Lisa, standing with her back to Ethan & I as she tended to the wild eggs. Grayson was already seated at the dining table, simply staring at his phone. “Oh my word! I didn’t know Ethan had a girl over!” Lisa suddenly exclaimed, causing my eyes to snap over & meet her warm smile. “Oh! It’s Emma! You’ve hung around here with Grayson before haven’t you?” She asked & I nodded my head, Grayson not even looking up from his device as his name was mentioned. “Well I never properly introduced myself,” Lisa continued & stuck her non-spatula-holding-hand out for me to shake, “I’m the twin’s mom. But you may call me Lisa.” I shook her soft hand gently & she gave me a bright smile as she moved her eyes from me & then over to Ethan. “Good morning Ethan.” She greeted her son. “Morning mom, how are you?” Ethan asked back & Lisa blinked as if she hadn’t been expecting a response, her jaw hanging open a little. She quickly composed herself though & shook her head into a warm smile again. “I’m just fine, thank you.” She replied, her eyes lingering on Ethan for a good amount of time before turning back to look at me. “You guys can go sit down, the food will be ready soon.” She said cheerily & I nodded, Ethan & I beginning to walk over to where Grayson was seated. I pulled out a chair & sat directly across from Grayson, Ethan taking a seat in the chair next to me. I looked at him & he gave me a goofy smile, making me chuckle.

 

    The front door suddenly sounded throughout the house as it was shut & Ethan’s whole posture tensed up next to me, his smile disappearing. Footsteps got closer to the kitchen area & soon enough, Sean walked in with a hard look on his face as he placed his hat onto the counter. The man’s eyes travelled from his wife & then to the table, landing on Ethan. A sadistic smile spread out across his chapped lips & Ethan’s leg was tapping next to mine anxiously under the table. I placed my hand on his knee, making him calm his nerves only slightly. Sean’s gaze moved from Ethan to me & his devious smile dropped into a frown, causing me to give the man a small smile. He looked like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes as he walked over to the table, placing his calloused hands on the back of Grayson’s chair & leaning down to look at his son’s phone screen. “Hello Grayson.” His gruffly voice greeted & Grayson looked up at him, nodding in response. They began to make a small conversation & I watched with sad eyes as Ethan looked at them almost longingly.

 

    “Sean, would you bring the plates over please?” Lisa asked & Sean nodded, his tall figure walking over to the kitchen island. He grabbed the three plates full of food & waltzed back over to the table we sat at. Sean slid Grayson’s plate onto the table & set mine down slowly in front of me, then stopped by Ethan. He set his plate down slowly in front of Ethan & then leaned down near his face, earning a glare & a threatening look from me. Sean stared at me with conflicted eyes & seemed to give up for now, only clenching his jaw & then walking back away over to Lisa who was cleaning the pans.

 

    It would be an interesting morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEET. ily allllllll soooooooo muchhhhhhhh!! leave thoughts on chapter? <3


	29. TWENTY NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS SO LATE ENJOY

**Grayson Pov.**

 

I swallowed the last of my mom’s scrambled eggs she had made & set my fork down onto my plate, glancing across the table at Ethan & Emma who had already finished their plates & were only looking around awkwardly. I sighed, rolling my eyes at the tension in the air between them. Emma had already admitted to Ethan that she was in love with him, which was a shock to everybody but Ethan didn’t return the feelings. I know my brother though & I know that he’s in love with Emma as well. Especially judging by what I had walked in on earlier this morning. Friends don’t cuddle like that. He Ethan just needs to admit it to her, he needs her in his life. He loves her. He’s visibly more happy when she’s around & he even started calling me by a nickname again, instead of my full name. Also, he’s never just in a good mood in the morning, he’s always quiet or angry about something. I could tell my mom was a little weirded out as well when Ethan had greeted her nicely after he came downstairs with Emma. My mom’s face also held a look of shock & I knew why, Ethan never brings girls home or hangs out with them around the house. He may be a douchebag & just fuck & leave girls, but he always did it somewhere else. There was never a girl seen in this household that was hanging out with Ethan.

 

    My phone suddenly began to vibrate in the pocket of my hoodie, causing Emma to look up from next to me. I sighed, coming out of my thoughts & grabbing the device out of the large pocket. James’ contact name flashed across the bright screen & I smile to myself, sliding my finger across the bottom of the screen & holding the phone up to my ear. “Hey baby.” I said smoothly, causing Ethan to make a face at me from across the table which I returned by sticking my tongue out at him playfully.  _ “Hey Daddy.”  _ James’ bright voice said from the other end of the line & my smile grew as I let out a small chuckle.  _ “I just wanted to call you, since I figured you were staying home from school with Emma and Ethan. I’m just gonna sister-skip today because I don’t feel like going and I’m heading to the phone store right now because I dropped my phone off the counter and shattered the screen this morning. But I could come over after if you want?”  _ James explained & I let out a soft laugh at his clumsiness with his phone. “Sure. We’ll be here.” I responded simply & heard James hum in agreement.  _ “Okay, well. I’ll sister-see-you then!”  _ He said enthusiastically & hung up the line, my phone making a small beeping noise. My heart warmed at the thought of seeing him again, it was just something about him that made me so in love & I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

 

    I slipped my phone back into my hoodie pocket & looked up at Ethan & Emma. “James is coming over in a little bit, he’s just stopping at the phone store because he broke his screen this morning.” I mentioned & Emma snorted. “Of course he did.” She stated & Ethan nodded with a small grin on his face. A sudden kiss on my forehead made me turn my head as my mom gave me a quick, warm smile. “I’m going to work, your father already left a few minutes ago.” My mom said & my eyebrows furrowed, remembering that I never heard he front door open. Must’ve been while I was on the phone. My mom walked over to Ethan & looked down at him with an almost hesitant look on her face before she leaned down & pressed a long kiss to his forehead, causing his lip to curve up with fake disgust. “ _ Mom _ .” He groaned & my mom sadly smiled down at him, as if she was deep in thought. My mom then walked back around the table towards Emma who was in the wooden chair next to me. My mom leaned down & wrapped her arms around Emma, giving her a small hug as Emma tensed up a little. “Goodbye sweetie, I hope you feel better. Feel free to stay as long as you’d like,” My mom said & then leaned down close to Emma’s ear in order to whisper something but I heard it, “keep doing whatever it is that you’re doing. I haven’t seen my baby this happy in  _ so _ long. Thank you.” Emma’s eyes locked onto the pattern of the wood on the table & my mom squeezed her shoulder lightly before grabbing her purse off of the counter & walking back down the hallway. There was the faint sound of the front door shutting & my eyes flicked over to Ethan.

 

    “What’d she whisper to you?” Ethan asked out loud & Emma shot her head up to meet his eyes from across the table. She shrugged. “Just told me that there were some tampons under the sink in her bathroom if I needed any. She was joking around.” She lied straight through her teeth & Ethan believed her, nodding his head as his darker hair bounced slightly. I moved my gaze back over to Emma, noticing that she was wearing one of Ethan’s hoodies. It was the vintage pink one that he would wear occasionally. She looked so small compared to the hoodie that was usually held up by broad shoulders. “I can throw your clothes in the laundry if you want, so you don’t have to wear Ethan’s clothes.” I suggested & she looked up at me. “It’s fine, I don’t mind.” Ethan interjected from across me & I raised an eyebrow at him. Emma didn’t say anything & I groaned internally. The  _ tension _ was back in the air. 

 

    I sighed & stood up from the table, my chair squeaking against the hardwood floor as my foot nudged it. I picked up my plate & fork, leaning over to collect Emma’s as well before bringing all of them to the kitchen. “But you can’t take my plate?!” Ethan asked sarcastically from behind me as he still sat at the table & I rolled my eyes, smiling to myself. “No assclown. Stop being lazy.” I stated & walked over to the marble counter. I rinsed the plates & forks off in the sink, then placing them into the dishwasher & closing it again. Ethan scoffed & grabbed his plate & fork as well, getting up & walking over to where I was standing near his destination of the dishwasher. “I’m gonna take a shower, don’t burn the house down while I’m gone.” I said & Emma rolled her eyes playfully as she walked into the kitchen, stopping & leaning against the countertop. Ethan nodded his head sarcastically & I gave him a look before turning around on my heel, heading down the hallway. I jogged up the staircase & my feet left the hardwood floor, stepping down onto the soft carpet that lined the hallway upstairs. I waltzed down the corridor & made a left into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I wasted no time in stripping my clothes after pressing down the lock button on the door of the tiled room. I reached down into the shower & turned the faucet in the right direction, wanting to take a hot shower on this cold morning. As I waited for the water to warm up, I looked into the full-size mirror that sat above the bathroom counter. I analyzed my tanned body, spotting the randomly scattered hickies that were littered anywhere from my collarbones to my v-line. My fingertips ran over the dark marks on my collarbones & I sighed, smiling warmly at the memory of James leaving them there.

 

    My thoughts turned to Ethan & Emma again as I stared at the hickies. Thinking about how they could have this warm feeling in their hearts as well when they looked at themselves in the mirror if they were to get together. Ethan needs a feeling like that, to feel loved. Happy. I can see it in his eyes that he loves Emma too, he just needs a push of some sort. Something to get him to admit his feelings out loud to Emma...or it’s never going to happen. Who knows how long Ethan could hide his feelings from Emma if he really wanted to. I mean, I know that I wouldn’t have had the courage to ask James out if it weren’t for Emma pushing me to do it & I couldn’t be happier that she did. But even if she didn’t talk me into it, I’m sure I would’ve made a move on him eventually. There’s plenty of natural pushes; if James were to tell me his feelings first, if he had asked me for my phone number, if he started to hang around with a different guy than me & I got jealous–that’s it. My lips spread into a smile as I looked into my eyes in the mirror, an idea flooding over me. I needed to make Ethan jealous, so jealous that he’ll admit his feelings for Emma because he doesn’t want her hanging around a different guy that might like her. I could pretend to be that guy. I could tell James that I’m fake breaking up with him for today, but it wouldn’t be real we’d just have to act like it until Ethan cracks & admits that he's in love with Emma. Because he would get jealous of me being ‘in love with her’. Eureka.

 

    I ignored the urge to make a noise from happiness at my idea & picked my discarded hoodie up from the floor, slipping my phone out of the pocket & unlocking it quickly. I pressed on the messaging app & typed out my quick plan to James, hitting send & quickly clicking my phone off before tossing it onto the counter. I needed to make my shower quick, being excited to use my idea after it. I pulled the curtain back & stepped into the white-themed shower, sliding the curtain back into place as I stood under the steamy water. I thought deeper about my plan as the hot water trickled down the curve of my back, releasing the tension in my muscles.

 

**Emma Pov.**

 

I pulled the long sleeves of Ethan’s hoodie up, swallowing my hands completely in the pink fabric as I stared at the television screen in front of the couch Ethan & I were on. The middle cushion of the couch was in between us as we watched the random movie that Ethan had picked out on ‘Netflix’. I didn’t exactly ask to stay home from school, Ethan just kind of subtly decided it & told me that I needed a day or two away from that place. I didn’t protest, I was happy that he cared about my well being enough to miss a day of school with me. Also his decision started a chain reaction, causing both Grayson & James to not go to school either. I thought it was cute this morning when James had called Grayson & told him that he would come over if he wanted him to. They’re couple goals as fuck.

 

    Grayson suddenly appeared in the hallway opening of the living room, wearing a pair of black sweatpants with a maroon-colored shirt that had a few damp spots on it from him just taking a shower. His longer caramel hair dripped with small beads of water, the little droplets falling onto his forehead. I gave him a small smile in which he returned before walking over to the couch that his twin & I were seated on. Grayson picked up the remote & turned to face the television, pressing the red button at the top of the remote which caused the television screen to go black. “Gray.” Ethan said in annoyance & I snorted with humor as Grayson chucked the remote back at Ethan’s chest. Grayson clapped his hands together professionally & I raised my eyebrows at him. “I-uh...have something to tell you, Emma.” Grayson said, running a hand through his damp hair. My eyebrows furrowed at his words & almost nervous-like actions. “Okay…” I trailed off, unsure of what my best friend had to say to me. He stared blankly at me for a moment before clearing his throat & adjusting the collar of his shirt. “We’ve been best friends for awhile now, ever since middle school,” He started & I nodded slowly as I waited for him to continue, but before he could, James walked in behind him. Grayson turned around to look at James for a moment, before turning his focus back onto me & I inhaled slowly as I realized I was forgetting to breath from trying to figure out why Grayson was acting so odd. “Well, I’ve been thinking really hard about it and...don’t freak out, okay?” He asked & my lips parted in confusion. “Grayson you’re acting weird, just say it.” I said & he locked eye contact with me while twiddling his fingers in front of his torso. He licked his lips before taking a deep breath & my eyebrows knit together in even more confusion. “I broke up with James already because...because I think I’m in love with you.” The words left his mouth & before I could react, I saw James’ mouth drop out of the corner of my eye. I saw Ethan tense up on the other end of the couch & my lips parted in shock, my eyes widening. Grayson was in love with me?!

 

    “I don’t know what it is, it’s just something about you draws me in. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve noticed everything about you that makes you beautiful. Your smile, your eyes, your hair, your...personality.” Grayson continued & I didn’t respond, frozen in shock as I stared at the floor. I was at a loss for words. Suddenly there were arms around me & my body tensed up as my head snapped up, my gaze landing on Ethan whose jaw was clenched as he stared at Grayson who was now hugging me. “Your hugs.” Grayson said near my ear & unpleasant chills went down my spine. “I love everything about you.” Grayson continued & I kept my eyes straight ahead as I felt his arms wrap further around my torso to hug me tighter from behind. Out of the corner of my eye I saw James slowly begin to walk away & just as he was about to turn the corner, he turned his head & my eyebrows furrowed as his eyes seemed to be collecting with tears. His eyes dragged sadly over to Grayson & his bottom lip twitched slightly. My mouth couldn't form words as he just looked forward again & continued walking, the sound of the front door slamming shut sounding throughout the house shortly after. 

 

    “What’s wrong Ethan? You look mad.” Grayson suddenly said from behind me & I moved my eyes slowly over to look at Ethan who now not only had his jaw clenched, but his eyes looked cold as he stared at his twin. “I’m not mad.” Ethan said lowly & Grayson hummed behind me, his chest vibrating slightly. “Don’t  _ you  _ think Emma and I would look good together?” Grayson asked & Ethan’s hands balled into tight fists as he stared his brother down darkly. I shivered. “Yes, you guys would look perfect together. Have fun.” Ethan gritted out while dropping his gaze to the floor & my heart contracted, falling to the bottom of my rib cage at his heartless words. “You seem a little tense, are you sure nothing's wrong?” Grayson asked again & Ethan’s eyes snapped up to look at his twin who was still sitting behind me while hugging me. “I said, I’m  _ fine _ .” Ethan gritted out & I squinted my eyes into the distance. What the hell was Grayson doing?! Am I dreaming?!

 

    “Wait, just to make sure, you don’t have feelings for Emma...right?” Grayson asked & my heart stopped, anticipating Ethan’s answer but already slightly knowing what it would be. Grayson knew I was in love with Ethan, so why was he doing this? Was Grayson actually in love with me? Ethan didn’t respond to his brother’s question, only shooting up from the couch with his hands balled into fists as he began to walk away. “Oh wait, you don’t have feelings. You’re just like  _ dad _ sometimes.” Grayson said from behind me & my eyes widened, turning my head around to look at him like he was crazy. Ethan stopped in his tracks & turned around slowly to look at his twin, his jaw clenched & veins starting to appear under the skin on his neck. “What did you just say.” Ethan said in a low tone of voice, it wasn’t a question. “I think you heard me. I don’t know why you’re mad though, it’s not like you’re in love with Emma. So you have nothing to be mad about.” Grayson said nonchalantly & my stomach flipped at his words. “Shut the fuck up,  _ Grayson _ .” Ethan growled & Grayson widened his eyes sarcastically while shaking his head a little at him. “Why? I thought you said that you ‘weren’t mad’.” Grayson stated & Ethan stared at him with a cold expression, a few of his knuckles cracking in his right hand. “Grayson, stop–”I started but was cut off. “Stop what, Emma? I’m just asking Ethan a question and he’s just being a little bitch about it.” Grayson stated & Ethan flared his nostrils angrily. “Shut. Up. Grayson.” Ethan repeated in a more demanding tone this time. Grayson removed his arms from me & stood up, crossing his arms as he stared at his twin. “Then answer the question.” Grayson stated. “No, shut the fuck up.” Ethan responded, taking a step closer & my blood spiked with nerves as the tension in the air grew. “Answer the question Ethan!” Grayson raised his voice, taking a few steps closer as well. “No! Shut up!” Ethan yelled back & I flinched at all of the yelling. “Why are you mad?! Answer the question!” Grayson shouted, shoving at Ethan’s chest & Ethan didn’t budge. “Shut up!” Ethan repeated. “Answer the question Ethan!” Grayson yelled. “Answer it!” He yelled again & Ethan’s eyes seemed to turn a few shades darker as he shoved Grayson back, causing his twin to stumble slightly. 

  
    “Because I’m in fucking  _ love _ with her!” Ethan shouted & my heart stopped beating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *angry crowd runs towards me*


	30. Q & A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s the thingy where u could ask the characters questionssss. enjoyyyy. :)

**Questions & Answers for Emma**

 

**Q -** True thoughts on Ethan?

**A -** he’s just a broken boy who bottles everything up & needs some love. i’m in love with him. just kinda wish he felt the same. 

 

**Q -** Do you think Ethan will ever hurt you again?

**A -** i dunno...I feel like maybe if he gets really worked up. but I hope not.

 

**Q -** When did you know you loved Ethan?

**A -** the moment after meredith beat the shit out of me in the bathroom & instead of letting his anger get the best of him, he listened when I called out for him & he took me to the hospital.

 

**Q -** Do you expect Ethan to ask you out?

**A -** no.

 

**Q -** What do you think Lisa thought when she kept looking back at you & then Ethan?

**A -** that I was just another girl he brought home & fucked, she’s probably used to it honestly. but I don’t think he’s been doing that lately…?

 

**Q -** Would you have kept the baby if Ethan didn’t want it?

**A -** to be honest…no. i’m not ready to be a parent, especially not a single parent.

 

**Q -** What would you do if Ethan asked you out?

**A -** it’s okay, he won’t.

 

**Q -** Do you wish your dad was more apart of your life?

**A -** all the time. i miss how he was when my mom was still around.

 

**Q -** Do you think Ethan could have potential feelings for you?

**A -** no, in the hospital it’s like he was trying to nicely let me down.

 

**Q -** When will you admit your feelings for Emma?

**A -** what? weird flex ahah.

 

**Questions & Answers for Grayson**

 

**Q -** Why does your dad beat up Ethan?

**A -** Ahaha, what are you talking about?

 

**Q -** True feelings on Emma.

**A -** she’s my absolute best friend.

 

**Q -** Do James & you have a 100% serious relationship & do you think either of you would ever cheat on eachother? 

**A -** I think our relationship is serious...I dunno, I like him a lot. I don’t think I’m gonna cheat & I doubt he would...right?

 

**Q -** Do you actually love James?

**A -** yes.

 

**Q -** Opinion on Ethan & Emma together?

**A -** Ethan needs Emma in his life & I want them to be together, but I feel like Ethan might hurt Emma & I don’t want that to happen. so I dunno.

 

**Q -** Do you love Ethan (as a brother) or do you really not like him?

**A -** of course I love Ethan, he’s my twin brother & we used to be closer than anyone else in the world.

 

**Q -** Why don’t you defend your own twin brother?

**A -** what do you mean?

 

**Q -** Do you love James?

**A -** duh.

 

**Q -** Do you know what your dad does to your twin brother?

**A -** yes, I know he always gives Ethan more money than me for gas. it’s annoying ahah.

 

**Q -** Will you tell your parents you’re gay?

**A -** no. i’m scared what they’ll say.

 

**Questions & Answers for James**

 

**Q -** What do you think of Emma  & Ethan?

**A -** together?! like um totally yes, they’d be so cuteeeee!

 

**Q -** Are you sad that there’s no more tiny human living inside Emma?

**A -** more than anything. I would’ve loved to be a fairy-god-sister. & Emma doesn’t deserve to go through that after everything else.

 

**Q -** How is your relationship with Grayson?

**A -** sister spectacular!! I love my big, beefy daddy.

 

**Q -** Do you ship Ethan & Emma?

**A -** YES

 

**Q -** Will you do my makeup for prom?

**A -** duh sis.

 

**Questions & Answers for Sean**

 

**Q -** Why don’t you like Ethan? What did he do to deserve everything you do to him?

**A -** it’s not that I don’t like my son, he was just always an easy anger sponge. 

 

**Q -** Why are you such an asshole?

**A -** i’m not, i just know how to take my anger out the right way.

 

**Q -** What did you so bad that you so bad that you could do Ethan so bad?

**A -** not what, who.

 

**Q -** This is not a question but DON’T YOU DARE PUT YOUR HANDS ON ETHAN EVER AGAIN.

**A -** I can’t, well, at least not easily now that that Emma girl is always around. but I have my loopholes. 

 

**Q -** Why don’t you love Ethan?

**A -** I do, just not as much. he always messes everything up.

 

**Q -** Why are you such a bitch?

**A -** why not?

 

**Questions & Answers for Lisa**

 

**Q -** Do you know what Sean is doing to Ethan?

**A -** no, what?

 

**Q -** Do you love Sean.

**A -** yes, even though it’s hard sometimes with his stubborn attitude.

 

**Q -** Are you okay with Ethan & Emma’s relationship?

**A -** I had a feeling.

 

**Q -** What did you think when Ethan & Emma walked downstairs together?

**A -** I was confused, Ethan never brings any girls home...

 

**Q -** Does Sean beat you like he does Ethan?

**A -** no, I don’t like playing football in the backyard with them. besides Sean would beat me anyway as well, he’s good at football.

 

**Q -** Are you that oblivious to the yelling & hitting at night Lisa?!

**A -** what? 

 

**Q -** Do you know that Grayson is gay?

**A -** ahaha that can’t be, silly. Gray would tell me if he was.

 

**Q -** Did you know you married a fucking asshole?

**A -** no...

 

**Questions & Answers for Cameron (Dallas)**

 

**Q -** Do you regret raping Emma?

**A -** no, she was a good fuck. ;)

 

**Q -** Why did you just obey that monster & rape Emma?

**A -** you don’t know what Meredith can do. if anything, I did Emma a favor.

 

**Q -** Don’t you feel bad knowing you killed Emma’s baby?

**A -** eh, a little. but that baby was part Dolan & I hate Ethan, so not that bad.

 

**Q -** Are you always an assclown, just wanna know?

**A -** I may be just an assclown, but I could become your assclown baby. ;))

 

**Q -** Why do you like hurting people?

**A -** hurting? from the noises Emma was making, I don’t think she was hurting sweet cakes.

 

**Q -** Are you in prison or did you get released?

**A -** prison. why? are you gonna come  & beat me up too?

 

**Q -** Did you rape Emma cause you had feelings for her but you knew she had feelings for Ethan?

**A -** fuck no, I would never fall in love with her ugly ass.

 

**Q -** Go fuck yourself.

**A -** mmm..I would because I get no action in this dumbass cell but, no homo.

 

**Questions & Answers for Michael (Emma’s dad)**

 

**Q -** Don’t you suspect that anything is going on with your daughter?

**A -** yes, but she won’t talk to me. she’s barely even been home lately.

 

**Q -**  Do you care about Emma?

**A -** yes, very much. I don’t know what I’m doing, my feelings are all over the place & I keep drinking too much & then I hit my own daughter. my own DAUGHTER. I need to go to rehab but I don’t know where Emma would go then, she had nobody else.

 

**Q -** Do you know that Emma was raped?

**A -** what?

 

**Q -** Why do you beat your daughter?

**A -** I….

 

**Questions & Answers for Hannah**

 

**Q -** Opinion on Ethma?

**A -** Ethan & Emma?! what?!

 

**Q -** Where have you been?

**A -** Ellie & I are in Michigan right now, I wanted her to come with my family to go visit my grandparents.

 

**Q -** Did you know Emma got raped?

**A -** WHAT?

 

**Questions & Answers for Ellie**

 

**Q -** Opinion on Ethma?

**A -** Ethma? What’s that?

 

**Q -** Do you know that on planet earth you are a famous YouTuber?

**A -** really?

 

**Q -** Do you know what happened to Emma?

**A -** no, I’ve been in Michigan with Hannah, why?

 

**Q -** Do you know that Emma was carrying Ethan’s baby?

**A -** you didn’t finish your sentence...Ethan’s baby what? his baby wipes? maybe to clean up his attitude?

 

**Q -** You know Grayson is gay?

**A -** yessss, it was so cute in the lunchroom with James!!

 

**Questions & Answers for Ethan **

 

**Q -** Do you love Emma?

**A -** the weather’s nice today, isn’t it?

 

**Q -** Do you have any feelings for Emma that aren’t just friends...we ALL want to know.,,especially after that little cuddle session that went on earlier…?

**A -** what? I accidentally fell asleep next to her, okay? I wouldn’t call it cuddling...

 

**Q -** How much do you love Emma?

**A -** ….

 

**Q -** How do you really feel about the baby?

**A -** it makes me so fucking mad at that fucker who killed  _ my _ baby & raped Emma. I wanna do so much more to that fucktard than just get him put in jail. he deserves to–what was the question again?

 

**Q -** Do see a future with Emma at the moment?

**A -** yes...

 

**Q -** Are you scared to say your feelings towards Emma ‘cause you think she’s gonna leave you alone? 

**A -** I—how did you-

 

**Q -** Would you have raised the baby with Emma?

**A -** yes.

 

**Q -** Are you scared to be in a relationship with Emma?

**A -** ...maybe.

 

**Q -** Can you just marry her already & don’t find a way out of this question Ethan?

**A -** marry who?

 

**Q -** Will you ever let Emma help you tell Grayson & your mom about your dad abusing you?

**A -** no. they can’t know, especially not gray. it would just cause more problems.

 

**Q -** How did you feel when Emma told you how she felt about you?

**A -** I didn’t know how to feel, nobody has ever told me they’re actually in  _ love _ with me. girls just wanted a quick fuck. no feelings.

 

**Q -** When are you gonna make a move on Emma?

**A -** what are you talking about?

 

**Q -** What do you think Gray’s reaction would be if you told him about your dad?

**A -** either he wouldn’t care or wouldn’t believe me.

 

**Q -** When are you gonna ask her out?

**A -** ask who out?

 

**Q -** Stop being emo & just admit that you like Emma lmao.

**A -** do I really seem that emo?!

 

**Q -** Don’t hurt Emma or I swear to god Ethan I’m unfollowing.

**A -** I don’t plan to, I don’t wanna be an asshole anymore.

 

**Q -** Will Grayson tell your parents that he is gay?

**A -** I dunno, probably not a good idea to tell my father though. I think my mom would react okay, but I don’t think Gray will ever even tell them so it doesn’t matter.

 

**Q -** Are you in love with Emma? 

**A -** I think so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tehee. ily alllllll. <3


	31. THIRTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup boos. enjoy.

**Emma Pov.**

 

    The room fell dead silent & my heart caught in my throat as my eyes lingered on Ethan who’s shoulders were moving up & down greatly after he had just been yelling. Grayson’s arms unwrapped from around me slowly & my stare didn’t move away from his twin. Ethan was in love with me too? My heart skipped a beat as the ethereal thought entered my mind. My attention was brought back to reality as Ethan suddenly shook his head, clenching his jaw & I caught a small glint of what looked like sadness & anger in his eyes before he turned around & stormed out of the living room. Without any hesitation I turned to look at Grayson & raised my hand up, slapping him across the face. He brought his hand up to his now reddening cheek & his jaw dropped open as he looked at me with wide eyes. “Hey—” He started but I cut him off. “What the hell was that about?!” I exclaimed. He knew I was in love with  _ Ethan _ , not  _ him _ so what was his issue?! 

 

    Grayson’s eyebrows raised as a door slammed shut loudly upstairs & I glared at him. “I wasn’t for real, I just wanted to push Ethan into admitting his feelings. I didn’t know he would react like  _ that _ . It was all fake, a plan.” He explained & my lips parted at him in a triggering way. “So James crying was fake too?” I asked & his eyebrows furrowed. “Crying? He must’ve been playing along pretty well then, I texted him about the plan and how it was just fake.” He stated & my eyes lowered at him. “Really? You texted him even though his phone is fucking broken?” I scoffed & his face went pale. “Oh my God I forgot about that. B-but this was all supposed to be fake…” He trailed off, sounding like he was reassuring himself more than me. “Tell that to your boyfriend who thinks you actually left him for me.” I said, giving him a stern look before standing up from the now uncomfortable couch & walking over to the bottom of the staircase. I paused & placed my hand on the wall, looking back at Grayson who was still staring at the ground while looking dazed. “By the way, that was a stupid plan.” I said a little loudly so he would hear & his eyes only flicked to mine before moving back down to the floor. I turned back around, jogging up the stairs & flicking the light switch in the hallway on when my foot left the last step. I wouldn’t stay mad at Grayson forever because we are best friends, but for now I was pretty pissed. Not only did he maybe just screw up the only true relationship he’s ever had, but who knows how he made Ethan feel.

 

    I walked slowly down the hallway, something on the wall catching my eye as I moved closer to it. I stopped & stared at the dull blue color of the wall, a fist-sized hole now punched into it with a few drops of blood around it. My eyes widened slightly, knowing who caused that to happen. I turned on my heel & picked up my pace, reaching the door to Ethan’s room. I placed my hand onto the metal handle & turned it, inhaling in slight worry when it didn’t turn as Ethan had locked it. I bit my lip, thinking as my eyes wandered the hallway. An idea popped into my head & I mentally shrugged as I stood on my tiptoes, reaching above the top of the door & feeling around for a small object. My fingertips grazed something metal & I grinned in victory, grabbing the key between my fingers & taking it down. I shoved the small piece of metal into the keyhole on the door handle & swung the door open, my eyes saddening at the sight of Ethan curled into a ball on his bed with his back facing me. Every muscle in his body looked tense & I stepped closer. 

 

    “Ethan.” I said & Ethan didn’t move from the position he was laying in. “Why are you in here. Shouldn’t you be hanging out with your boyfriend.” He muttered coldly & I frowned, walking the rest of the way over to the bed. “No, I don’t like Grayson like that and you know that. He’s my best friend and that’s all he ever will be.” I stated, sitting down on the edge of the bed & making the mattress dip slightly. I looked down at him, seeing the way his eyelids were lowered as if he was tired & how he cradled one hand with the other. “Let me see.” I said & his eyes barely flicked up to look at mine. “See what?” He mumbled, pulling his hands closer to himself. “Your hand Ethan, I saw the hole in the wall. Let me see it.” I stated & he just shook his head. I frowned & reached over him, gently grabbing his wrist in which he resisted against my tug. “Ethan.” I groaned & he didn't respond, only fighting against my pull. “Go look at Grayson’s hand, I bet he’d love if you kissed it better.” He muttered & my jaw clenched as my eyes moved to look at his own dark green ones. I let go of his wrist & immediately brought my hands to his cheeks, turning his reluctant face up to look at me. “Stop  _ it _ . I’m not in love with Grayson, Ethan. I’m in love with you, you already know that so shut the hell up and believe me.” I said, raising my eyebrows down at him & his eyes searched mine for a moment as if uncertain. An urge overtook me & I leaned down, pressing my forehead against his as his breath hitched. I glanced down at his lips & then looked back up into his eyes. “I love you Ethan Grant Dolan. I fell in love with the one person I hated the most. And now you’re the person I love the most.” I stated & his eyes gazed into mine with an unreadable emotion. He glanced down at my lips before looking back up again & my heart skipped a beat. “Only if you want to.” I whispered, referring to look he just gave my lips & his breathing stuttered. “Did you not listen to my yelling earlier?” He asked, letting out a soft chuckle as his eyes crinkled with a small smile. “There’s the smile I love.” I whispered, laughing lightly. He rolled his eyes, his eyelashes fluttering against my skin. I licked my lips before looking at him seriously & he stared back with an intent gaze, our foreheads still pressed together. My heart fluctuated again at his gaze. Is this what it’s like to be in love?

 

    I slowly leaned closer & Ethan’s minty breath hit my lips softly. Our lips barely brushed together & he was about to lean closer until I grabbed his wrist in between us, quickly pulling away while laughing in victory. He groaned & tried to pull his hand back to himself but I kept my grip, shooting him a look to stop trying. “That’s not fair.” He mumbled & I shrugged. “Seems fair to me.” I mentioned & he let out a dramatic sigh. I turned his large hand around gently, moving it so I could see his now bloody knuckles that were starting to bruise. I sighed sadly. “You need to stop hurting yourself.” I mumbled & his eyes met mine with a reluctant look. He exhaled loudly & turned onto his back instead of his side, causing me to straddle his stomach so that I would be able to look down at him still. I got distracted looking at his large hand compared to my small one. I held his newly abused hand up & spread out his fingers, doing the same with my hand before pressing it against his hand. He had his head propped up on his pillow, watching me with fascinated eyes as I stared at our hands. Suddenly his fingers moved in between mine & he folded his down, intertwining them with my own. I smiled down at him with unfocused eyes, it was one of those moments where you’re looking at something but your eyes don’t exactly focus on it. It’s like you’re just staring off into space while looking at something else.

 

    I blinked slowly & moved my eyes back to Ethan & I’s hands, my gaze traveling down to his wrist. I unlaced our fingers & dragged my fingertips down his wrist, feeling the smooth skin there. My touch moved up his veiny arm, turning it around slightly to examine more of it as his eyelashes flitted shut in relaxation. Goosebumps rose on his skin in the invisible path my touch formed. I skipped over the sleeve of the t-shirt covering his shoulder & instead lightly dragged my fingertips over his smooth yet prominent collarbones, admiring the way his breath caught the slightest bit yet his eyes didn’t open. I moved from where I was sitting, plopping down further up his chest. I ever so lightly brushed the tip of my thumb across the smooth skin of his bottom lip & smiled down at him, even though his eyes were closed & he couldn’t see me. I ran my fingers softly across his cheeks & booped the tip of his nose, making a faint smile appear onto his lips. I rested the palms of my hands on his cheeks & while being as gentle as possible, ran my fingertips over his shut eyelids. I then moved my hands further up & ran my fingers through his dark hair, the soft strands twisting against my skin. I looked down at his other arm then, picking it up gently & brushing my fingertips lightly across the scars that were now formed on his tanned skin from a few weeks ago. I brought his scarred wrist up to my face, pressing my lips together & placing a light kiss on top of the undeserved permanent marks in his skin. This boy was truly beautiful, scars & everything. I smiled & leaned down again, pressing my forehead against his & causing his eyelids to flutter open. “You’re beautiful.” I repeated my thoughts quietly to him & he shook his head. “I’m not, but you are.” He responded & my eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “I am  _ not _ . I don’t know what you’re on if you could call  _ me  _ ‘beautiful’.” I whispered back & he scoffed, rolling his eyes in front of mine. “Emma, you are the most beautiful person I have ever met,” He started & then paused as if he was debating to continue, “whenever I’m around you, it feels like there’s this–this balloon expanding somewhere in my chest, filling my stomach with butterflies and my mind with want.” I awed at his words. Who knew Ethan Dolan was good at word play?

 

    I gave Ethan a soft smile & he returned it as his eyes flicked down at my lips again. I took a deep breath & slowly leaned in, closing the short distance between his lips & mine. His lips moved gently against mine & I softly tugged on a few strands of his hair. It was a short & sweet kiss before I pulled away with a large grin on my face, keeping my forehead against his. “I love you Emma Chamberlain.” He said so quietly that if I hadn’t been pressed against him, I probably wouldn’t have heard his ethereal words. That ballon that he was talking about earlier suddenly felt like it appeared in my chest, somewhere near my heart.

 

**Grayson Pov.**

 

James wasn’t at his house & he wasn’t at school, so that left me with the last option of where he likes to go; the small coffee shop that wasn’t too far downtown. I had walked there, not bothering to take my car from the house as our garage door hadn’t been working lately & I didn’t want to screw with it. I was anxious to say the least, I felt so damn bad that James had probably thought what happened today was real. I’m so in love with him & I’m really hoping I didn’t just screw up our relationship. I was so thrilled about my plan for Emma & Ethan earlier that I hadn’t even thought about the text not going through to James. My own damn boyfriend. Boyfriend of the year award goes to Grayson, the guy who literally put somebody else’s relationship before his.

 

    I sighed, shoving my hands into the pocket of my hoodie as I trudged into the small coffee shop, the bell ringing on the door & the smell of coffee beans hitting me hard. Before I could walk any further into the small shop to look for James, somebody had bumped into me & I was about to apologize until I realized who it was. James, throwing away his emptied large cup that used to hold a caffeine infused drink. My boyfriend’s gaze met mine & my heart broke at the sadness captured in the honey brown irises of his eyes. “What are you doing here Grayson? Shouldn't you be with Emma since you love her ‘oh so much’?” He asked harshly & my mouth dropped open slightly. “I don’t love Emma, James. I love you, it’s always been you. It was all fake, I just wanted to make Ethan jealous so that he would admit his feelings for Emma. I tried to text you the plan but I was being stupid and didn’t remember that your phone was broken and you probably hadn’t gotten a new one from the phone store yet.” I rambled out & he raised his eyebrows at me. “Sure.” He said sarcastically & I frowned. “You don’t believe me?” I questioned & he sighed loudly. “Why should I Grayson? It seems very likely that you could fall in love with your beautiful best friend instead of some overly-gay-twink like me.” He muttered & I scoffed. “First of all, I am very much gay—” I started but was cut off by him. “Just leave Grayson, I don’t want to be a part of a cheating relationship. Dating may be a game to you, but it isn’t to me.” He said with his voice slightly cracking & he placed a hand over his mouth as his eyes started to water. I move forward to hug him & he moved away from me, holding up his other hand. “Don’t touch me, just leave Grayson.” He stated with a cracking voice & I shook my head in confusion, stepping closer again. “Leave!” He then yelled while letting out a small sob & causing me to flinch at his harsh tone, drawing attention from the other customers in the small shop. I opened my mouth to say something but then shut it, clenching my jaw with sadness & anger as I turned on my heel to storm out of the cafe. I began to walk across the street, my feet hitting the pavement heavily. Is our relationship over now? How am I going to fix this? What if James gets with somebody else? What if he doesn’t love me anymore?

 

    My mind was so clouded with thoughts of doubt that I didn’t hear the loud honking of a horn & tires screeching against the asphalt until I was suddenly impacted by something large & metal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I—know it’s short but—
> 
> ALSO THIS WILL STILL BE ISSUES BUT I HAD TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE BOOK TO ‘ALPS’ FOR PERSONAL REASONS, ITS STILL ISSUES THO!!
> 
> AND SHUTTER ISLAND WAS CHANGED TO ‘TERRAFORM’


	32. THIRTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey bebes. :)) enjoy? fluff? idk.

**Emma Pov.**

 

“Ethan, calm down.” I said, watching the way his knuckles were turning white from how hard he gripped the steering wheel & how his eyes held a dark glint of emotions. I didn’t receive a response from him, making me sigh & sink back into the fabric of the passenger’s seat as I bit the inside of my cheek. I would  _ not  _ cry right now. I had to be strong for Ethan so he wouldn’t be anymore distracted from driving us to the hospital. We had only just received the frantic call from James sobbing a few minutes ago that Grayson had been hit head-on by a car. I had put James on speakerphone & asked him to explain what happened, my nerves flaring as Ethan rushed to grab his keys while still listening to the phone call. James had said that they got into an argument at the small coffee shop downtown & that he had told Grayson to leave, then apparently Grayson wasn’t looking where he was going & the car didn’t slow down in time. Tears had pricked the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall as Ethan froze in his tracks, looking at me with pointed glare but I could tell it wasn’t actually at me. 

 

    “This is his fault.” Ethan growled, bringing me out of my thoughts & I turned to look at him. “What?” I asked, my voice a little shaky from the anxious tingles running through about the possibility of my best friend laying on his deathbed at the moment. “James. It’s all that fucker’s fault.” Ethan continued, his voice dropping down an octave as he took a sharp right turn onto a new road. The hospital was on this road. I looked at him in disbelief. “It is not James’ fault, Ethan. Everyone gets into arguments.” I stated & he only clenched his jaw, pressing his foot down harder onto the gas pedal as we neared the large white building. Just looking at the way Ethan’s knee bounced anxiously & how he would swallow nothing over & over, just showed how nervous he was to see his own twin brother. I was deadly afraid for my bestfriend too, but Grayson had a bond with Ethan that nobody else could understand. Even if there were a few complications in their bond right now. 

 

    Ethan practically drifted into a random parking spot, not even parking right as his ‘Range Rover’ landed over the yellow line that separated two parking spaces. He unbuckled his seatbelt faster than ever & opened his car door, jumping out. I copied his actions, the jump down from the floor of the car & onto the concrete being a little farther for my shorter frame. I slammed the car door shut behind me & jogged to catch up with a fast-walking Ethan who had his hands curled into fists at his sides, showing clear signs of anger & some other emotion. We shoved through the main doors of the hospital & headed straight to the front desk. “May I help yo–” The office lady began but was cut off. “Grayson Bailey Dolan.” Ethan blurted out & the older lady nodded, typing away at her computer, her lips forming a small frown. “He’s undergoing emergency surgery for acute trauma at the moment, you can’t see him until the procedure is over, but you may wait in the waiting room–” She explained & was interrupted again by Ethan slamming his fist on top of the desk. “I need to see him!” Ethan growled & the lady jumped a little, pushing up her glasses as she held up a hand for him to stop. “Sir, I’m afraid–” She started & Ethan looked like he was about to lunge over the counter as his fingers gripped the edge of it tightly. “Let me see him, now.” Ethan interrupted her again, his voice going dangerously low. “ _ Ethan _ .” I whispered, placing a hand on his arm in which he only shook off. I didn’t want him to cause a scene.

 

    “Emma! Ethan!” I heard James suddenly call out in a shaky voice & Ethan & I both turned our heads, looking over in the direction of James walking over from the waiting room. He looked like a mess, his face flushed red, both dried & wet mascara running down his face as well as his shaky posture. “James.” I said & was about to walk over to him until Ethan opened his mouth. “This is your fault!” Ethan stated, jabbing a finger in the air towards James which made him stop in his tracks. “What?” James asked in shaky voice. “Ethan, stop.” I said & he ignored me, taking a step closer to James. “You’re the one who yelled at Gray!  _ You _ told him to go away! If you would’ve kept your damn mouth shut and let him explain himself then this wouldn’t have happened!” Ethan continued to yell, now catching the attention of other nurses & people waiting for their own family or friends. James’ face looked caught between sad & disbelieving. “You’re defending him over  _ that _ ?! He cheated on me Ethan, what did you expect me to say?! I was upset.” James shot back & Ethan stepped closer again, me trailing behind him as I debated what to do. “He didn’t cheat on you retard! If you weren’t so fucking clumsy & didn’t drop your phone then you would know what actually happened! Or if you...oh I don’t know,” Ethan paused sarcastically before continuing, “actually decided to shut up and listen to what your own boyfriend has to say?!” James gasped, a few more tears running down his cheeks, whether they were of anger or sadness was unclear. “At least I didn’t fucking abuse the love of my life only because my daddy doesn’t love me!” James shouted back, referring to when Ethan used to bully me everyday & even my mouth dropped open at the last part. Why would James go there right now?

 

    James’ sentence obviously made Ethan tick as you could almost see veins begin to come to the surface of the skin on his neck. James’ face changed a little as if he realized what he had just referenced & he took a step back at Ethan’s facial expression, holding his hands up a little. When Ethan took a large step forward towards James & was about to take another, I grabbed his arm which made him stop in his tracks. “Emma, let  _ go  _ of me. I don’t wanna hurt you.” Ethan growled & I tightened my grip on his arm, shaking my head even though he wasn’t even looking at me. “No. Calm down.” I said & he grunted, easily shaking my hand off of him. He continued to take more steps towards James, half-running as James’ eyes widened & he walked backwards. “Ethan!” I yelled, running forwards after him before he could reach James, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as possible. “Let go of me!” Ethan yelled as he struggled against my grip & I locked my hands together as tightly as possible. “Calm down Ethan!” I shouted back & he elbowed at me, trying to hit any part of me that would make me release him. His hits were obviously avoiding my stomach though & a small part of my heart warmed, knowing that he wasn’t all anger-driven right now. I clenched my jaw as his elbow made contact with my shoulder painfully & he was still yelling at me to release him. “This is all your fault faggot!” Ethan called out to James & I gasped as James’ face dropped, looking like he was about to cry again. That was too far.

 

    Ethan was struggling harder against me & as he tried to move towards James, I realized that he could easily pull all of my body weight with him. I tightened my arms even more around him & pulled his larger body down onto the floor with me so that he couldn’t walk anywhere. “Ethan, stop!” I yelled again & turned him around in my arms, not loosening my grip. He took advantage of the new position, shoving at my shoulders while breathing heavily. In the heat of the moment, not knowing what else would calm him down immediately, I decided to try something. I quickly moved my hands up to grab the sides of his face, pulling him closer & smashing my lips against his. He resisted at first, letting out a frustrated noise & shoving against me more. But then after a moment he slowly melted into the kiss, his eyelids fluttering shut. I moved my hands to his hair, gently twining my fingers into the soft strands there as I moved my lips against his. His body went limp against mine, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as while his teeth caught on my bottom lip slightly. 

 

    There was a suddenly salty taste to the kiss & my eyebrows furrowed as I pulled away, opening my eyes. My gaze softened as I realized Ethan was crying, salty tears running down his cheeks silently while he looked at me through pained eyes. “Ethan.” I said softly, pulling him against me as I wrapped my arms around him comfortingly. “It’s okay, you’re alright.” I whispered gently, running one hand through his hair & another up & down his back. His breathing picked up quickly against my hoodie & I felt him let out a small sob, making my heart contract at the pained sound. “H-he’s my brother, I c-can’t lose him.” He mumbled against the fabric of my hoodie & held him tighter, carding the front of his hair back in order to press a lingering kiss to his forehead that felt hot with worry. “Shh, Gray’s gonna be okay. I promise. It’ll be alright. You’re okay.” I whispered softly & gently rocked his body a little, his sobs being muffled by my chest. I glanced up at James who was still standing across the room, his eyes watching the movement of my hands on Ethan’s body as I tried to comfort him. I knew James needed comforting, but right now, Ethan was my top priority.

 

    “Hey,” I said while catching the attention of a nurse who was walking by with a clipboard, causing her to look down at me with an odd expression as I sat on the floor with a crying Ethan in my arms, “do you know how long it’ll be until Grayson Dolan is out of surgery?” The nurse stared at me for a moment longer, before looking down at her clipboard & dragging her pen down a row of names. My hand traced a random & soothing pattern onto Ethan’s back, his sobs dying down but still feeling his tears wet my hoodie silently. “Around four hours at most.” The nurse announced from where she was standing above us & I nodded, thanking her silently before she walked away. Ethan’s whole body tensed up at the nurse’s answer & I heard him sniffle, a shaky sigh escaping his lips. Four hours?! My stomach flipped at what could go wrong. I felt Ethan’s arms suddenly wrap around my torso, his cold hands slipping under the back of my hoodie & bunching into fists in the shirt there. Shivers shot up my spine at the gesture. He needed comfort & attention more than anything at the moment.

 

    “Hey,” I whispered near Ethan’s ear while I rubbed his shoulder gently, “let’s go sit on one of the couches in the waiting room.” His head lifted at my offer, revealing his now puffy & red eyes, tears still trickling down his cheeks. I gave him a sad smile & slowly stood up, pulling him with me as his hand left the back of my shirt. I stared up at him for a moment as he sniffled, looking down & blinking his eyes rapidly. My hands reached up & I gently moved the pads of my thumbs under his eyes, brushing away the tears. My right hand reached up a little higher as well, slightly fluffing up the front of his flattened hair. I then brought my left hand back up again & poked both of my pointer fingers into the indents of where his dimples show when he’s smiling, stretching the skin up so it looked like he was smiling stupidly. He let out a soft laugh through his nose & I gave him a small smile, his reddened face looking sad & vulnerable. I dropped my hands then & only gazed into his eyes, his pained stare looking down into mine. He slowly leaned forward & rested his forehead against mine, doing nothing more than closing his eyes & clenching his jaw. I felt as his hand intertwined with mine at my side, causing a warm smile to appear on my lips. “Come on.” I whispered, dragging him by our connected hands over to the waiting room. James was sitting at one of the pale blue couches all alone, his hood pulled up as he stared at his fidgeting hands in his lap. I felt Ethan’s hand tense in mine as I pulled him over to where Grayson’s boyfriend was sitting. I plopped down onto the middle cushion & dragged Ethan down onto the other side of me so that I was in between the two argumentative guys. I was about to bring my hand away to fold it with my other one in my lap but my heart skipped a beat when I felt Ethan’s large hand grip my own lightly, not letting me pull away. I turned & looked at his reddened face, still looking very much like he had a meltdown. A frown sat upon his lips & I gave him a soft smile, knowing that he already knew what I was about to say & hated every part of it.

 

    “Okay, both of you apologize.” I stated & heard Ethan’s small groan of annoyance from next to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ily alllllllllllll. <3


	33. THIRTY TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey boos. :)) enjoyyyy!

**Emma Pov.**

 

I held the bedroom door wide open as Ethan carried Grayson bridal style into the room, his head lolled onto Ethan’s shoulder with his arms wrapped around his neck loosely. My heart warmed at the sight of them, the way Ethan would look down at his little brother with eyes full of great concern & brotherly love. Ethan did  _ not  _ handle this whole situation well at all, especially at the hospital approximately an hour ago. The past few hours consisted of; Ethan & James fighting, Ethan having at least three breakdowns at different times, me making Ethan & James apologize to each other, James having to go home, Ethan refusing to sleep even as we had been at the hospital way longer than expected...from around two in the afternoon until around midnight. Ethan hadn’t taken it very well when he found out that Grayson had broken two ribs & his left wrist, he started to freak out & yell at the nurses to help his twin brother. Grayson was still recovering from immediate surgery but the doctor said we could take him home, he just has to take it easy & he has a whole set of instructions for taking care of his broken ribs for the next few weeks.

 

    Ethan slowly & carefully laid Grayson’s sleeping form down onto his bed, causing a small unconscious wince to escape Grayson as his sore upper body hit the mattress. Ethan pulled a soft looking white blanket over his twin & stared down at him for a moment, looking like he was trying to absorb the way the younger looked. He was clearly worried about him. “Ethan, come on, he’ll be fine. He’s just resting.” I whispered & Ethan sighed quietly, turning to walk past me out of the door as I slowly clicked it shut as silently as possible. My eyes moved up to meet Ethan’s tired ones, which only held my gaze for a small moment before they darted around the hallway anxiously. “Should we get his medications ready for when he wakes up? Or leave the door open so that we can hear if he wakes up? What if he’s in pain right now and not actually sleeping? Or if we aren’t around at the moment when he needs us—” Ethan started to ramble & I grabbed his arm gently, cutting him off. “ _ Ethan _ . Gray’s gonna be fine.  _ You  _ on the other hand, need some food in you & some sleep.” I pointed out, cringing at how much of a mom I sounded like. Ethan’s eyes that were hazy with exhaustion looked back down at me with an accusing expression. “I am  _ not  _ tired. I’m fine. I think I heard something. We should go check on Gray, what if he woke up?” He questioned, ignoring my statement & I sighed, dragging my hand down his wrist until it reached his hand & I was able to intertwine our fingers together. I think that motion was up in my top ten things that I loved to do with him, considering that our hands fit together perfectly, even with the large size contrast.

 

    “ _ Ethan _ , come on. You do need sleep, so stop denying it. You didn’t sleep or eat at all while we were at the hospital and you had a few very draining breakdowns, so come on.” I teased, tugging on Ethan’s resistant hand as I began to walk down the hallway. He groaned & stumbled along with me, mumbling complaints under his breath. “Just take a nap if you’re really gonna be that stubborn. Once you wake up, I’ll have an  _ extremely  _ late meal made, considering that it’s almost one o’ clock at night right now.” I mentioned & turned around, seeing his reluctant nod as he blinked tiredly. He wanted sleep & wouldn’t admit it. I could tell. I let out a soft laugh to myself as I turned back around & continued heading towards his darker themed room. Grayson had a more white themed room, with light curtains & bright Japanese Art designs. While Ethan’s was more dark grey themed, with a dark bedspread, black desk & was complete with an all black drum set in the corner of his room.

 

    “Actually get some sleep Ethan or I will not hesitate to put a ‘ZzzQuil’ into a drink and pour it down your throat.” I explained & Ethan dragged his eyes to meet mine, cocking a dark eyebrow. He huffed & face planted down onto his bed, disconnecting our hands, only shifting onto his side a little bit to get more comfortable. I snorted at his childish actions & pulled the dark-knit blanket over his body, moving it up to cover his shoulders at most. I leaned down & brushed a few strands of hair away from his forehead, pressing a small kiss to the smooth skin there. “Goodnight E.” I whispered, seeing that his eyes were already closed peacefully. I smiled softly & moved away, walking to the door & closing it only to leave a small crack open just in case he needed anything. I worried about him; he’s been having a lot of bad dreams lately that he says don’t affect him but deep down I know they do. He never tells me what they’re about though, so I respect his privacy.

 

    I smiled to myself as I swayed my hips to the music playing softly from my phone, stirring the pancake batter in a slow motion as I was in no rush. Grayson had mentioned once that him & Ethan’s favorite meal was pancakes, no matter what kind. I bit my lip, humming quietly as I dumped a few slices of chopped up banana into Grayson’s bowl of batter. I only poured chocolate chips into Ethan’s, remembering that Grayson had also mentioned how Ethan hated anything to do with bananas. The once white spatula, was now covered in thick light tan liquid as I smoothed the batter around in both bowls. Not stopping the stirring motion, I peered over at the temperature on the skillet, seeing that it was all heated up. I let go of the spatula & grabbed some cooking oil, drizzling it onto the hot surface of the skillet. My hands held onto both sides of the cooker as I moved it around, covering every inch of it with a thin layer of oil. The rubber bottoms on the legs made a small noise as I set the skillet back down & grabbed Ethan’s bowl of batter, getting ready to pour it onto the hot surface. Just as I started to tip the bowl, I heard a small noise come from upstairs, making me stop my movements. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to listen harder, silently setting the bowl back down onto the counter. I grabbed my phone & paused the music, listening intently. My ears picked up the small noise again & I threw my phone into the pocket of my hoodie, running down the hallway & jogging up the stairs. Was Grayson okay?!

 

    My feet came to a stop in front of Grayson’s bedroom door & I placed my hand onto the cold handle, pressing my ear flat against the door. I listened quietly for a moment, squinting my eyes as I heard nothing. I kept my head in place, continuing to listen for a moment. “Nnngh–no!” Another noise was made & my eyebrows knitted together with confusion as the sound didn’t come from Grayson’s room. Ethan? My heart beat faster, not knowing why Ethan would be in pain. I turned on my heel, dropping my hand from the door handle & jogging further down the hallway to Ethan’s room. Without hesitation I pushed his bedroom door open & walked in, my face falling with sadness as I saw Ethan thrashing around in small movements on his bed with his eyes still sealed shut, small noises escaping his lips. My heart broke for him. He was having yet another bad dream. 

 

    I moved over towards the bed & crawled onto it, making a small dip in the mattress as I sauntered closer to Ethan’s erratic body that was breathing heavily. “Ethan, hey, wake up.” I whispered, moving my hand to his shoulder & gently rubbing the bare skin there. Huh. He must’ve gotten hot & taken his hoodie off sometime after I left the room. His body didn’t stop trembling, a noise of discomfort still escaping his lips as he didn’t hear me. “Ethan.” I said a little louder & as his unconscious body went to make a movement again, I wrapped my arms around him & said his name again. His whole body tensed up as his deep green eyes snapped open & he struggled against me for a moment. “Ethan, baby, it’s me. You were dreaming, ‘s just a bad dream.” I whispered into his ear, causing ripples of relaxation to roll through his tightened muscles & he sagged against me with a small groan. My fingers gently brushed his hair away from his slightly sweaty forehead, making his eyelids flutter shut for a moment. The room went silent.

 

    Suddenly Ethan’s body turned around in my arms, pulling me against him & laying me down so that we were facing each other, his arms still around me with his eyes shut. I knew he wasn’t sleeping though. My fingers travelled to where his collarbone met with his shoulder, tracing small patterns there which caused goosebumps to appear on his tanned skin. “Wanna talk about it?” I asked & he sighed softly through his nose, shaking his head. I hummed in response, my eyes traveling down to watch my fingers as they danced among his skin. “How often do you get them?” I asked & his arms pulled me subconsciously closer. “Whenever you’re not around. I don’t get them when you’re next to me.” He mumbled almost incoherently, his mind still not fully awake. My heart fluttered a his words, a small smile appearing on my lips as I continued to trace my fingers around his sharp collarbone. My gaze stayed on his face that was just inches away from mine, the small amount of sunlight peeking through the curtains causing his eyelashes to cast light shadows onto his cheeks. His lips were slightly parted & his jaw was slack. He looked so peaceful & perfect it almost made me jealous that someone could look so beautiful while only sleeping. But at least that someone was my boyfriend. 

 

    My nose scrunched up a little in disgust at the unfamiliar word use of ‘boyfriend’ in my thoughts, my fingers slowly dragging off of Ethan’s shoulder & dropping silently onto my other arm. I heard Ethan’s breathing get deeper & I smiled softly, realizing that he had fallen back asleep. I shifted slowly to get out of his arm’s loose hold around my waist & my eyes widened when I was suddenly being pulled back weakly, pressing my body fully against his as his arms tightened a little. “Stay.” I heard him mumble softly, his voice sounding strained & hopeful. My breath hitched at his subtly desperate tone & my tense body melted into his embrace, accepting his request. I ducked my head into the crook of his neck, getting comfortable & inhaling the mixed scent of his cologne & his natural scent. The aroma was somewhere around mint-like & oceany, with a small amount of vanilla. My eyelids fluttered shut at the intoxicating scent & I could feel myself drifting away as the whole house was filled with silence, the twin’s parents still being at work even though we tried to contact them earlier. I sighed softly as I lost consciousness to the comforting feeling of sleep.

 

    When I woke up, it was to the feeling of Ethan hovering over me & placing butterfly kisses all over my face. I groaned, blinking my eyes open slowly & arching my back a little as I tried to stretch but it was hard with his body pressed right on top of mine. “ _ Ethan _ .” I groaned, letting out a small laugh as I closed my eyes again & shoved his body gently off of mine. A dramatic gasp escaped him from across the bed & I resisted the chuckle that wanted to come out of me as I rolled over onto my side so that my back was facing him. Now that I got some sleep, I wanted more. I didn’t realize how tired I actually was. 

 

    “Well,  _ fine  _ then. All I wanted to do was show the love of my life a little affection but I guess she just doesn’t appreciate my efforts. How rude.” Ethan rambled from behind me & I hummed in agreement, causing another dramatic noise to emit from him. “ _ Emma _ .” He teased & I didn’t move, my eyes staying closed. “ _ Emmaaaa.”  _ He groaned & suddenly his muscle-heavy body was draped over mine, making me let out a groan of my own. “Ethan!” I whisper yelled, blindly shoving at his bare chest which felt a little damp. He must’ve taken a shower. “Get offfff!” I pleaded & he let out a throaty laugh, his shower-warm body vibrating against mine. “No.” He stated simply & I sighed, smirking to myself. I lifted my hand up & held my pointer & middle finger together, jabbing them into the tanned skin of his rib cage which made him squeal but not move. “You thought!” He announced, only holding a hand to his previously jabbed skin. I sighed, dragging a hand down my face tiredly. I just wanted some more sleep? Is that too much to ask for from your touchy & persistent boyfriend? Apparently.

 

    “Emma!” Ethan suddenly gasped from on top of me & my eyes snapped open. I hadn’t even realized I had shut them. “What?!” I asked immediately, worried by the way he gasped. “Nothing. I just didn’t want you to fall asleep again.” He explained while laughing lightly & I weakly slapped his arm. “You scared me asshat.” I muttered & he laughed harder, ducking his head down & muffling his mouth against his the hoodie I was wearing. I giggled softly at the feeling, closing my eyes again. My hand blindly found its way to his damp hair & I carded my fingers through the wet strands, smiling at the sudden response of his body going limp from the gesture. A few weeks ago, I would’ve  _ never _ guessed that  _ Ethan Dolan  _ has a weakness for getting his hair played with. It’s kind of adorable to be honest.

 

    “I haven’t slept with anybody since the night of that party.” Ethan suddenly mumbled, tone of his voice sounding relaxed. My fingers only paused their movements for a moment at his random outburst of words, emitting a small noise of displeasure to escape him. “What…?” I trailed off, silently questioning why he mentioned that fact out of nowhere. He shrugged, his shoulders moving against me & then slumping again as my fingers continued to twirl around a few strands of his hair. “Jus’ thought I’d tell you. The only girl I’ve even laid my  _ eyes _ on is you.” He continued & my heart throbbed, stomach filling with a warm feeling. I thought he had to have at least hooked up with one girl the past few weeks...guess I was wrong. The thought of him only thinking about me, made me want to wrap my arms around him & never let go. It made me want to let  _ him  _ know that I only think about  _ him _ . It made me want to run through a cloud of steam while holding hands like couples do in movies. It made me want to show him just how much I loved him.

 

    But, for now, we could just lay here in a comforting silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lEaVe cOmMeNts pLeAse I nEeD lOvE *cries in ethma*
> 
> well, ily all so so so so SO much! ur support keeps me going going my bros. ;*
> 
> ***drama in next chapter hehehehe***


	34. THIRTY THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey bebes. ENJOY.

**Ethan Pov.**

 

Emma yawned & lifted her head off of my shoulder, the soft grey blanket slipping off of her shoulders as she leaned forward & set her empty plate onto the coffee table in front of the couch we were on. The plate that only had a few drizzles of deep brown syrup left on it clanged gently with my plate that I had previously set down in the same spot. The credits to the episode of ‘Jersey Shore’ rolled & Emma picked up the remote between her slim fingers, pressing the power button to turn the tv off. I sighed in content. Emma & I had decided to just have a lazy morning, seeing as Grayson was still sleeping. The doctor had told us it would be normal for him to sleep for awhile anyway because of the medicine that had been pumped into his veins during the surgery & his stay at the hospital. Medicine or not, I was still worried sick about him, he’s my other half whether I act like it or not. He’s my  _ twin _ . Emma had calmed me down a lot though. Just one touch from her warm skin & my nerves would be flooded with immediate calmness.

 

    “I’m gonna go take a shower a sec.” Emma’s voice brought me out of my thoughts & I exhaled deeply, letting my clouded mind breathe. “Mmk.” I replied nonchalantly, flicking my wrist in order to easily brush the blanket off of me that we were previously sharing. Emma sauntered out of the room & down the hallway, heading for the bathroom that was located upstairs. I stood up from the couch & grabbed the two sticky plates off of the coffee table, walking down the hallway in the direction of the kitchen. I pulled the dishwasher door open & after quickly finding the plates & forks off, placed the dishes in the correct position on the rack. I dropped the forks into the small basket of utensils & swung the dishwasher door shut again, brushing my damp hands off on my joggers. My nose wrinkled as I saw the two wet spots my hands left behind on the light grey fabric. It bothered me how the darkness of the spots were so random & contrasted badly with the lighter fabric. I rose an eyebrow at my thoughts. I was starting to sound like  _ Grayson. _

 

    I shook my head clear of that thought, running a hand through my messy hair before beginning to walk out of the kitchen. I stopped in my tracks as I heard the front door open & heavy footsteps heading towards where I was, hoping it was only my mom & not her cruel husband. My hopes were diminished as I turned to see the usual cold eyes that belonged to my father when he walked into the kitchen. “Where’s mom?” I asked in a monotone voice as I watched him ungracefully drop his keys on the counter. He rose a dark eyebrow at me & crossed his arms, leaning against the edge of the counter. “We drive separately to work if you didn’t know.” He mocked & my eyebrows lowered at him as another question popped into my head. “Why didn’t you come and see Grayson at the hospital? I called mom and the call didn’t go through because she was busy receiving business calls...but your call went through and all I recall you saying is that of; ‘I’ll be there soon’. What happened to that?” I questioned & he rubbed his lips together boredly. “Work got busy right after that.” He answered simply. “Do you even know what happened to Gray?! Know that he could’ve died?” I asked & he shifted his foot against the cabinet while shrugging, his eyes widening comically. “No. I don’t. But I’m glad that didn’t happen because he’s my only son and without him I wouldn’t have one.” He replied, dragging his eyes around my face as if to scan everything that’s wrong with me. My fingers involuntarily twitched along with the strings of my heart being pulled at. That hurt.

 

    “How did work get  _ so  _ busy that you weren’t able to ask your boss if you could leave to go see your own possibly dying son?” I inquired & my father clenched his jaw. “If I didn’t stay the extra shift, we might’ve all died because of how much money would be lost. Lisa barely makes anything,  _ I’m _ the one who pays all of the bills. Including the health bills. You would be on the streets if it weren’t for me.” He explained & I scoffed at his flawed argument. “Yeah, heard that one before.” I muttered & his eyebrows shot down quickly, uncrossing his arms as he straightened out his posture. “Are you being a smartass with me?” He gritted & I swallowed slowly. “No. Never mind.” I said, hoping that the subject would drop & if it didn’t then that the shower water to be heard from upstairs wouldn’t stop running for awhile. My eyes snapped back into focus as the collar of my t-shirt was suddenly grabbed, forcing me to look into the angered face that belonged to my own blood. “You know, I’ve had just about enough of your bitchy attitude lately. I haven’t been able to release any stress lately because of your stupid whore of a girlfriend and,” He started & my blood boiled at the words he used on Emma, “I have a lot of anger I need to let out.” He whispered next to my face, my eardrums practically picking up the evil grin at the end. I shivered with slight fear, not having had to face any issues related to this in awhile.

 

    “Please don’t.” I whispered, slightly begging. Now that my body had witnessed being healthy & not wounded or sore all of the time, I never wanted to feel the way-too-familiar pain again. My father only chuckled darkly, leaning away from me while clicking his tongue in disapproval. “What? No smartass response? Scared?” He mocked & my breathing faltered as I remembered that my mom had the night shift as well tonight. “Pathetic.” My father spat & before I could process anything, my hair was being grabbed & my face was slammed into the door of the refrigerator. I cried out as my nose felt like it broke in a variety of different places. “Damn I missed that feeling!” My father exclaimed to himself & I inhaled shakily against the black door of the fridge, feeling a large trickle of blood flow from my nose. I suddenly felt a hard fist to my stomach & I groaned, involuntarily bending over while wrapping my arms around my torso. As I felt another hit to my temple I closed my eyes, taking the pain. I could’ve easily fought back against him & won every time he ever decided to abuse me, but I didn’t. Because unlike him, the thought of hitting my own family member or hurting them in anyway that was as wrong as this...was repelling to me. Even if he really deserved it, I don’t think I could ever lay a hand on my own father & forgive myself for it.

 

    “Sean?! What the fuck is going on here?!” My mom’s voice suddenly boomed throughout the kitchen & I dragged my clouded eyes up to look at her standing in the doorway to the kitchen, her purse on the floor next to her as her jaw was slack. My father immediately released his hold on me & held his hands up in the air, making me stumble a little. “He just got so mad for no reason and started hitting me so I fought back.” My father lied, adding a fake voice crack into the mix to try & receive pity. “Yeah fucking right Sean.” My mom mocked & my breathing hitched even more than it already was. She usually never cussed. She would always get after Grayson & I whenever we even said ‘Damn’. 

 

    “No, really! I just got home and he started to—” My father began to explain, but was cut off. “Out!” My mom shouted & my father had his mouth hanging open in confusion. “What?” He said, his voice dropping a few octaves lower as he got mad. “You heard me just fine. Get. Out. Now before I call the cops!” My mom yelled again, pointing her finger towards the front door where she had just entered. Just as my father opened his mouth to protest again, my mom continued on. “Now Sean! I never wanna see you around here again! Get out of my house!” She screamed louder than the times before & my father flinched, staring at her for a long moment before huffing & stomping out of the front door. A loud slam echoed throughout the house, full of my father’s anger & I jumped a little. My mom locked the door behind her possibly newly divorced husband & let out a deep sigh that sounded thick with annoyance, before she brought her glinting eyes to me.

 

    “Ethan!” I suddenly heard Emma call out in a worried tone as she stumbled down the stairs, almost tripping as she sprinted over to me. Her wet hair dripped onto what I realized as another one of my hoodies & she brought the aroma of a warm shower into the kitchen. “Oh my God, E.” She mumbled to herself as her hands went to cover her mouth before slowly coming up to softly caress my cheek, causing me to lean into the warm touch. “Again?” She whispered & I nodded wordlessly as her eyes watered a little. Her arms wrapped around me & she pulled me down into a gentle hug, ducking her face into my neck. A few sniffles escaped her & she shook her head against my skin. “I’m so sorry.” She mumbled & I shook my head in return. “It’s not your fault. It’s never your fault.” I whispered & she sighed shakily against me, her arms molding tighter around my torso, causing a small wince to escape me as pressure hit my sore stomach. Emma’s breath hitched & she pulled away, only slightly, worry filling her eyes as she brought her gaze to my clothed stomach. I already knew that after she would insist on letting her see in case it was really bad or needed medical attention.

 

    “All of the shared glares, the tension in the air, the...yelling at night. That’s what it was?” My mom said, her gaze glued to the floor as she shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. “I always thought it was just you and Grayson wrestling or arguing or–or-I don’t know, but not  _ this _ . I can’t believe I never noticed. This was happening right under my nose for God knows how long. I’m so sorry baby, I’m such a bad mom, I should’ve noticed.” She continued, her voice wavering & I shook my head at her, my hand playing with the hem of the hoodie Emma was wearing. “No mom, it’s not your fault. It’s dad’s. Never blame this on yourself.” I stated & she nodded, sniffling roughly as she quickly wiped the tears away from under her eyes. “And Emma,” She started & gave Emma a warm smile, “you..you just–thank you. Thank you so, so,  _ so _ much. For being there for my son, no matter how difficult I know he can be. Just, thank you. For being there when I couldn’t.” Emma’s eyebrows raised in shock & she opened her mouth but no words came out so she only nodded her head. My mom sniffled again & then exhaled deeply, picking her purse up off of the floor. “Now, I’m going to bed...I need some time to..process things.” She explained before slowly walking out of the room, a hand going up to wipe her face clear of tears again. I hoped she would be okay.

 

    “Let me help you.” Emma requested, bringing my eyes down to look at her while she stared directly at the thick stream of blood trickling from my nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ITS LATE AT NIGHT DONT YELL AT ME I FORGOT....
> 
> AND IK ITS SHORT DONT HATE ME!!
> 
> anyway, ily all. plz leave a comment bc I’m lonely & need ppl to talk to hehe. <3
> 
> ~ drama continues next chap bc this chap was rushed ~


	35. THIRTY FOUR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BITCH U THOUGHT ITS ONE MIN BEFORE MIDNIGHT SO I MADE IT. ENJOY.

**Emma Pov.**

 

Ethan screamed as my fingers cracked his nose back into place, his knuckles turning white at how hard he was gripping the bathroom counter that he was seated on. “Shh, we’re done. I promise.” I rushed, moving one of my hands over his mouth to keep him quiet. Down the hallway I could hear his mom, Lisa, talking to Grayson in a sweet tone before she would go to bed. 

 

    Ethan sighed as I dropped my hand from his mouth & grabbed the warm washcloth again, gently wiping away both the dry & fresh blood from under his nose. Once most of the bleeding stopped, I attached a thin piece of white tape over the bridge of his nose in order to keep in place as much as possible. As my fingertips sealed the ends of the tape, they dragged over his cheekbones & I slowly moved my hands to cup his cheeks softly. I gazed with a frown into his saddened & dazed eyes, my right thumb brushing away a subconscious tear that had fallen from his eye. 

 

    “He’s gone for good.” I whispered, referring to his abusive father & he nodded so little that I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t have been touching his face. His face contorted a small amount, his eyebrows furrowing a little & his bottom lip becoming shaky. 

 

    “I just wanted him to be proud of me.” He whispered, biting his lip & my eyes softened. I moved closer so I was standing in between his legs & he pulled me close, ducking his head carefully down into my neck. My fingers carded through his messy locks of hair soothingly as he sniffled a little, a small tear hitting the skin of my neck. “I can’t tell if I’m happy that he’s gone or not.” He admitted shakily & I nodded, tracing my free hand up the spine of his shirt. 

 

    “You’ll be okay, you're the strongest person I know.” I mumbled softly into the fabric of his plain shirt, pressing a small kiss to where his collarbone connects to with his shoulder. I know he’ll be okay.

 

    After a few minutes I pulled away from the standing/sitting hug & gently grabbed Ethan’s hand, pulling him off of the counter & flicking the light off in the bathroom as I dragged him out into the hallway. I intertwined our fingers & pulled our hands up, pressing a kiss to his large hand as we walked towards his bedroom. We passed Grayson’s bedroom & my heart warmed at the small glimpse the cracked open door allowed, seeing Grayson & his mom sleeping next to each other as if Lisa was too worried about her injured son & wanted to stay by his side. I moved my gaze away & pushed Ethan’s bedroom door open, walking in with him & then softly shutting the door behind us. 

 

    “Oh, shutting the door huh, what are we doing tonight?” Ethan questioned, a smirk being clearly laced into his voice. My lip curled up in both disgust & humor, disconnecting our interlocked hands & hitting him mockingly in the stomach. My heart skipped a beat when instead of laughing his breath hitched, making me glance up at him worriedly when his hand went to hold his stomach. 

 

    “Ethan? What did I do?” I rushed out, placing my hand onto his arm as he shook his head & exhaled with a small chuckle, falling back onto his bed with his arms behind his head. 

 

    “Nothing, it’s fine. Just a little sore.” He brushed off & my eyes lowered in realization. I crawled onto the bed, straddling his waist as my hand shot up immediately & yanked up the fabric of his shirt, exposing not only his toned stomach but a faint bruising around the bottom of his rib cage. “Emm—” He started & I cut him off.

 

    “Ethan.” I interrupted in a dazed tone, my eyes staying glued to his darkening skin. I brought my other hand up & gently brushed my fingertips over the smooth texture of his stomach, slight relief flooding through me as he didn’t flinch or make a noise of pain. I sighed sadly & leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the wound before pulling the hem of his shirt back down. His arms suddenly found my lower back, pulling me fully on top of him & snuggling his face into the shoulder of my hoodie. 

 

    “I love you.” He mumbled & my heart strings felt like they had been delicately strummed. 

 

    “I love you too.” I replied genuinely. A moment of silence passed before I decided to break it, clearing my throat as to see if Ethan was still even awake under me. “Ethan.” I whispered & he hummed in a questioning tone. “We have to go back to school tomorrow.” I mentioned reluctantly & he groaned, rolling both of us sideways as he exhaled deeply into my shoulder. 

 

    “We don’t  _ have  _ to.” He countered & I let a small laugh escape my parted lips, shaking my head. “We’ve missed so many days.” I stated & he shrugged. 

 

    “Are you sure that  _ you’re  _ ready to go back?” He asked, referring to the last day of school I had experienced. I rubbed my lips together momentarily & then let out a breath. “Yeah, as long as you’re there with me.” I directly requested & he nodded. My fingers found their way into the hair at the nape of his neck, twirling around the small potential-curls. “Poor Gray,” I added, “he’s gonna be even more behind then we are.” 

 

    “I wonder if the teachers are gonna make us explain why we were gone for so many days.” Ethan asked himself & I raised my eyebrows in agreement, my eyes gazing off into the paint color of the paint on his wall in the dimly lit room. A sudden masculine yawn brought me out of my daze & l smiled as I felt the body next to me snuggle closer.

 

    “Do you wanna try and get some sleep before we have to get up and go tomorrow? Even though it’s the middle of the night?” I asked Ethan & he nodded sleepily, his eyes staying shut as his eyelashes flitted against the skin of my neck. I chuckled a little & continued the motion of my fingers causing through his hair. 

 

    “Goodnight.” He mumbled after a few seconds of silence, his warm breath against my skin sent shivers down my spine. 

 

    “Goodnight, E.” I responded, pulling him impossibly closer. His tired body sagged against mine, becoming like warm putty in my hands as I threaded my fingers through his hair gently & traced mindless patterns onto his back through the thin t-shirt he wore. He deserved sleep. He hadn’t gotten any actual good sleep in a few weeks & naps don’t count. My thoughts drifted to tonight’s events as I thought about what happened after Ethan woke up; his abusive father getting kicked out of his own house after hitting his own son  _ again _ . The nerves in my brain connected the random dots of thought to my own dad & I sighed quietly. I had to go home at some point & face him. Lisa & Ethan have already been sweet enough to let me stay the past few days but that didn’t change the point that they weren’t my own family. I didn’t know what to do about my dad though; considering that he was hooked on getting drunk & angry again. But, maybe, just maybe, he had turned himself around a little after being alone with his thoughts for a few days. Maybe. While getting lost in thought, a slow wave of tiredness washed over me & my eyelids fluttered shut as my brain turned off.

 

    “Emma!” I heard Hannah’s voice scream from down the hallway & my head snapped to look at her running towards me, having no time to move as she tackled me to the ground in a hug. The very faint bruises on my stomach panned with a small sting as my back made contact with the tacky carpet that belonged to the school hallway. “I missed you so much, where were you?! What happened after Ellie and I went to Michigan for some time?!” Hannah rambled, crawling off of me & helping me up as we both stood & brushed ourselves off. “Also when did—” She started up again but was cut off by Ethan who was previously walking in with me.

 

    “You okay?” Ethan asked me, brushing his hand against the fabric of my shirt covering my stomach as if to emphasize where I might be in pain. Hannah’s jaw dropped to the floor when she noticed Ethan—who she knew as my enemy & an asshole—pressed against my side, examining me with slight worry as I thought about what to tell my bestfriend. 

 

    “You–I—Etha–what…?” Hannah stuttered, her eyes darting between Ethan & I while her eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline. I sighed.

 

    “It’s a long story.” I stated simply & her mouth still didn’t close as she nodded slowly. I felt Ethan’s hands roaming every inch of my skin, pressing his fingers into certain spots to see if I was in pain, causing me to gently grab his wrists & move them back to his side. “E, I’m  _ fine _ . I promise.” I stated & he clenched his jaw, his eyebrows narrowing. He hummed unbelievably & I snorted with a small laugh. Before Hannah could open her question-filled mouth again, first period bell rang & I rolled my eyes. “I’ll see you at lunch.” I smoothed to Hannah before turning around & dragging Ethan with me to our first period; Spanish. It felt odd, walking with him to Spanish. Just a few weeks ago I would’ve never imagined that  _ I _ would be walking almost pressed against his side, let alone that I would fall in love with him. I guess Lisa felt the same way, considering the conversation she had with me this morning. My thoughts moved back to that subject as I replayed what had happened.

 

_ “I’ll be in the car.” Ethan stated & I nodded, rushing around the living room to grab my backpack that had been discarded around here somewhere a few days ago.  _

 

_     “Okay, I’ll be there in a sec.” I replied  & saw him nod out of the corner of my eye, before heading out the front door. “Where is the stupid thing?” I mumbled to myself, throwing a blanket off of the couch as I looked under it for my missing backpack. My feet carried me over to the comfy chair that was holding a ton of fluffy blankets & I dug through them, tossing a few on the floor. I then spotted a pastel yellow color in the pile of neutral-colored blankets & my pulse slowed in relief as I grabbed the backpack, swinging it onto my shoulder. I was walking towards the front door to head out when a sweet voice suddenly caught my attention.  _

 

_     “Emma, honey, can I talk to you real quick?” Lisa asked from behind me  & I turned around to face her, my eyes softening as I stared into her puffy eyes, it being obvious that she had cried herself to sleep last night. _

 

_     “Of course.” I responded  & she breathed in deeply, crossing her arms loosely as she held eye contact with me.  _

 

_     “Please don’t hurt him.” She requested  & my eyebrows furrowed, the sleepiness in my brain preventing my ability to think straight.  _

 

_     “Who?” I asked. _

 

_     “Ethan,” She began, “please don’t hurt him. He’s been through so much and he doesn’t deserve any more crap.” Her arms dropped from being crossed  & instead went down to fix the knot on her robe.  _

 

_     “I don’t think I could ever hurt him if I tried.” I mentioned  & her light brown eyes looked up from the fluffy white robe, gazing into my much lighter shaded eyes.  _

 

_     “You’re special, you know?” She smoothed  & my ear felt a soft they perked up, vocal chords humming in a questioning tone. _

 

_     “What do you mean?” I asked  & she took a few steps closer to me as she rubbed her dry lips together, preparing to talk. I boredly scuffed the heel of my shoe against the floor as I waited for her to collect her thoughts. _

 

_     “Ethan never brings any girl home. Ever. You’re the first. And he’s so much happier now whenever he’s around you. You’re changing him slowly in the best way possible and that takes talent sweetie. You’re more special than you think, especially since you were able to make Ethan Dolan soft. Please tell me that you’ll continue trying to fix him. He’s already changing so much back to the old him because of you. He’s never acted this way around any girl but you.” She explained  & my heart throbbed at her meaningful words, even if she was slurring a little because she was tired. I nodded immediately, ignoring the pricking sensation of tears in the corners of my eyes. _

 

_     “Thank you, Mrs. Dolan. I’ll try my best.” I answered  & she nodded thankfully at me, a warm smile spreading across her face. _

 

_     “Please, call me Lisa.” She requested  & I nodded in abeyance, shooting her a genuine smile. “Also, honey, I know there’s something going on at your home right now and no matter what it is, just know, you may stay here as long as you’d like.” She added & I cocked an eyebrow softly, thinking about how Ethan must’ve told her about my family drama. I didn’t mind. _

 

_     “Thank you so much Mrs. Dola—Lisa, that’s so kind of you. I wouldn’t want to intrude though.” Was my reluctant response, thinking about how much I would love to just stay with Ethan longer  & wake up next to his adorable self everyday.  _

 

_      “Oh no! Not at all! You’re perfectly welcome to stay for however long you want or need. Besides, we could use a replacement of a family member, considering we just lost one last night.” She added with a dry laugh at the last part  & a small smile appeared on my lips at her kindness. _

 

_     “Well, thank you.” I said. _

 

_     “Of course, now you better get going, Ethan’s probably wondering what’s taking you so long.” She stated  & I nodded, telling her goodbye before heading to the front door. _

 

    “–mma.” Ethan’s voice brought me out of the recent memory & I looked up, seeing that we had arrived at the door to the Spanish classroom.

 

    “Yeah?” I asked, mumbling a little.

 

    “I asked if you wanted to go out for ice cream after school.” He repeated himself as he pushed the classroom door open, letting me walk through as he continued to hold it open. My stomach felt like a balloon of adoration & excitement was slowly inflating inside of it, making a goofy smile appear on my face at his words.

 

    “I would love to.” I answered simply, hiding my true excitement. The excitement causing a certain few of Lisa’s words to echo throughout my head from earlier.

  
_ He’s never acted this way around any girl but you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BYE ILY ALL SO FRICKIN MUCH & IM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR MAKING IT IN TIME TO POST THIS SO YEA BE PROUD OF ME BYE. :)


	36. THIRTY FIVE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey boo. enjoy. ;)

**Emma Pov.**

 

“There shouldn't even be such a thing.” I scoffed, letting out a small laugh as Ethan gazed lovingly next to me down at his highly-stacked cone of tan colored soft serve.

 

    “The fuck do you mean?! Pancake flavored ice cream is the best.” Ethan stated proudly, gesturing around with his odd-flavored cone. I raised my eyebrows sarcastically & slowly brought my eyes down to my own almond flavored soft serve. “That stuff,” Ethan started & paused for a moment to take a bite of his ice cream, “is disgusting.” He pointed a finger down at my own custard & I pointed a glare at him. 

 

    “It is not! It’s healthy.” I stated, licking the almond ice cream intentionally.

 

    “Firstly, ice cream isn’t supposed to be  _ healthy _ . And secondly, you’re skinnier than any other girl I’ve ever met...I’m pretty sure you could afford to have some sugar.” He announced, cocking an eyebrow questioningly. I shrugged.

 

    “I’m not  _ that _ skinny.” I replied quietly, taking a bite out of the soft serve, causing the frozen custard to melt in my mouth. Ethan paused his actions above me, leaving his mouth slightly open & his ice cream hanging in the air. His eyes dropped down to make contact with mine.

 

    “Emma,” His tone sounded serious & my eyes dropped down to the cracked tar that the ice cream parlor was parked upon, “your body is fucking beautiful.” My heart swelled as I brought my gaze back up to his softened eyes, a calming dark green staring back. Memories swarmed my thoughts of back when those dark eyes were narrowed at me as he was body shaming me rather than complimenting me. I exhaled through my nose, holding an unfocused eye contact with the red bench that was near us as I licked my ice cream slowly. Suddenly a small piece of waffle cone was tossed in front of me, landing in the waste bin that sat to my left. I looked to Ethan in disbelief, seeing his empty hands.

 

    “You finished yours already?!” I exclaimed & he let out a small chuckle, wiping his hands on his black ripped jeans. He then leaned back against the pole that belonged to the large sign advertising the small ice cream parlor. A shrug danced along his shoulders.

 

    “Gray and I used to have competitions about who could finish their ice cream the fastest. I always won of course.” He bragged acutely, his lip curving up into a smirk as he looked off into the distance. I let out a soft laugh, clearly being able to picture what the twins would look like as they scarfed down their ice cream. 

 

    “ _ Of course _ .” I mocked him & he frowned at me with fake hurt, causing me to smirk at him. I took a small bite of the almond ice cream as a moment of silence passed over us, a warm breeze blowing softly through my hair. I almost jumped when I felt a large & warm hand on the side of my face, breaking through the peaceful air. “Yes?” I asked, sounding small as I looked up at Ethan who was gazing directly into my eyes. His darker eyes flicked almost unnoticeably down to my lips, before moving them back up to my eyes.

 

    “I wanna know what almond ice cream tastes like.” He mumbled, almost innocently, & my heart rate sped up as he licked his lips. His other free hand moved around to the back of my neck & he tilted my head up slightly as he bent down, leaving his plump lips a hair away from mine but not fully touching.

 

    “Then find out.” I whispered, my lungs finding it hard to get air passed through them as my breath stayed hitched, scared to move, the anticipation slowly killing me. We had kissed before, but this felt different. All of the times before, it had felt like our lips were full of pure passion & love. Now, in this moment, it felt like a small trickle of lust was traveling throughout my body that was close to Ethan’s warm one.

 

    I suddenly felt his lips fully press against mine & I sighed into the kiss, tangling my free hand into his hair in order to pull him closer. He let out a deep huff through his nose as I tugged on a few strands of hair & tilted his head in order to deepen the kiss. I moved my lips harder against his, feeling his tongue slipping into my own mouth. It felt like pure bliss as I felt his soft eyelashes gently flutter against my skin, causing me to smile into the kiss.

 

    I pulled away at the same time as him after a few seconds, catching my breath as I licked my lips & cleared my throat. 

 

    “It’s actually not that bad.” Ethan decided, referring to the taste of my ice cream & I felt a blush paint my cheeks.

 

    I took bite out of the soft serve, the almond flavor flooding my tastebuds. I felt a pair of eyes on me as I took another lick & I looked up to see Ethan staring at me with an unreadable expression, a dark eyebrow cocked.

 

    “What?!” I blurted out, not being able to hold in my small laugh as I covered my mouth with my hand. He let another shrug ripple through him as another smirk appeared onto his lips. 

 

    “Just the way you eat your ice cream.” He spoke, rubbing his lips together before he smiled while aligning his teeth perfectly in a playful way. 

 

    “What about the ‘way I eat my ice cream’?” I asked as he continued to stare at me lick the cold dessert again. 

 

    “Jus’ makes me think of something else.” He stated, slowly dragging his eyes away from my face. A blush slowly creeped onto my face as I thought about what he meant & I slapped his bare arm, causing a hysterical laugh to escape his lips that were flushed pink from the cold custard.

 

    “Shut the hell up you pervert.” I spoke shortly, trying to hold in a laugh of my own to save myself some dignity. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the black mess slightly as he flicked his eyes to meet mine again.

 

    “I’m not a pervert, I’m not an adult yet.” He stated, his lips splitting apart into a sly grin. I frowned sarcastically at him.

 

    “I’m not a pervert, I’m not an–nah, nah, nah.” I mocked him, taking a bite of my slowly melting soft serve. He rolled his eyes as a small laugh left him, his shoulders bouncing up a little.

 

    “I’m gonna take a piss.” He announced, pointing his thumb behind him as he raised his arm up. My eyes moved to look past his head, seeing a small community bathroom to the left of the ice cream parlor. I nodded & held a thumbs up as I was too busy eating my ice cream to speak. He smiled down at me.

 

    “What?” I asked for the second time this afternoon, the word slurring as soft serve covered my tongue.

 

    “You’re just cute.” He replied, then turning around & walking towards the outdoor bathroom before I could say anything. I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head as I finished the rest of my ice cream. I threw the rest of the waffle cone into the waste bin, not feeling like eating anymore as I wiped my hands on my skinny jeans.

 

    It might just be me, but lately Ethan has been a lot more useful of his words & his actions. For instance, he keeps staring at me lately & whenever I ask him why, he just tells me I’m  _ cute _ or something. Also, he seems to always gravitate near me wherever we are, ever since we left the hospital. Maybe he’s just going through a phase right now...between losing his abusive dad due to a restraining order his mom put against Sean, & almost losing his own twin brother. He might just have attachment issues at the moment, not wanting to lose/almost lose anybody close to him that he cares about.

 

    I mentally shrugged & pulled my phone out from the back pocket of my jeans, scanning my fingerprint to unlock it & then opening the messaging app. I decided to text Grayson & see how he was doing.

 

**Me -** _ hey gray, how u doing? _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ Oh ya know, I’m doing fine. It’s not like I have a few broken ribs and a broken wrist or anything. _

 

**Me -** _ damn. what medicine did lisa give u? asshole-aspirin? _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ No. I’m just fucking tired but I can’t sleep because my ribs hurt. _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ And I’m hungry. Bring me some food. _

 

**Me -** _ yes master. _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ Thanks peasant. _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ Where r u and Ethan anyway? _

 

**Me -** _ fucking behind the ice cream shop. _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ WHAT?! _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ DID U CONSENT TO THIS OR DID ETHAN PRESSURE U INTO IT?! IS HE MAKING U UNCOMFORTABLE?! R U USING PROTECTION?! _

 

**Me -** _ jk lmao. _

 

**Me -** _ we’re just at the ice cream shop. _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ Fucker. _

 

**Me -** _ you really think I’d tell u about my sex life? _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ Well we r bestfriends… _

 

**Me -** _ OK I NEVER wanna hear about u and James..got it? _

 

**wounded asshole <3 - ** _ U sure? ;) _

_ read at 5:07 p.m. _

 

    I shook my head, leaving Grayson on  _ read  _ as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. 

 

    I felt a sudden tap on my shoulder & I turned around, thinking it was Ethan, but to my surprise, it was a guy who looked around my age with dirty blonde hair & blue eyes, a smirk plastered on his face. I raised an eyebrow at him, not having any clue of who he was.

 

    “Hey cutie.” The blondie smoothed, having a slightly raspy voice & licking the inside of his cheek as his eyes raked up & down my body, making me slightly uncomfortable as I shifted my weight onto my other foot.

 

    “Um...hi?” I spoke as more of a question, my hands crossing awkwardly in front of my body as his piercing blue eyes stared me down. He licked his lips.

 

    “Are your from around here?” He asked & I nodded slowly.

 

    “I live a few miles away.” I responded & his lips made an ‘o’ expression as he seemed to process the information he had been given.

 

    “Okay.” He answered simply & I tucked my lips in, feeling awkward again as I nodded slowly for the second time.

 

    “I just wanted to mention that your ass looks really good in those jeans,” He mentioned seductively & my jaw clenched as he continued, “but do you know what would look better?” 

 

    “Me ripping off your arm and then shoving it up your own ass?” Ethan’s voice suddenly threatened from behind me & I felt his muscular arms wrap around the me, pressing my backside tightly against his chest. My body relaxed against his warm one.

 

    “And just who are you?” The blonde haired guy asked, cocking a judgemental eyebrow at Ethan.

 

    “Her  _ boyfriend _ . Who are  _ you _ ?” Ethan growled & the guy scoffed, letting his crossed arms drop to his sides as he turned around to start walking away. “Where you going pussy?” Ethan asked, causing the blondie to raise his arm up & without turning around, flip Ethan off. “I will beat your ass so hard that your great grandchildren won’t be able to sit down and—”

 

    “Ethan!” I whisper yelled as he started yelling at the blonde haired guy’s back who was still walking towards his car. “He’s gone.” I stayed calmly, noticing how Ethan hadn’t removed his arms from around me. “Ethan…” I said slowly, “he’s gone…” My obvious observation had gone seemingly ignored by him as his arms didn’t loosen, nor did he break his hard stare at the douchebag’s back.

 

    “Bitch.” Ethan muttered under his breath & I was about to comment, but then I felt a pair of soft lips on the side of my neck, sending chills of pleasure down that side of my body. I felt Ethan press a kiss to the skin at the base of my neck, before his lips parted & he began to suck a dark mark into the skin.

 

    “Ethan.” I said & he didn’t move, his grip around me staying the same as he continued to place kisses all over my neck & suck a few small marks. “ _ Ethan _ .” I spoke out again & he hummed in an irritated sounding tone, not stopping his actions. I sighed.

 

    “What are you doing?” I questioned & he ignored me again, causing me to flip around in his tightened arms & put his actions on pause. I scanned over his face with my eyes, trying to read him. His eyebrows were narrowed as he stared down at me, his plump lips parted & breathing heavier than normal. He looked...mad, & I think I knew why. “Are you  _ jealous _ ?” I asked & his jaw clenched, his eyebrows narrowing more.

 

    “No.” He answered quickly.

 

    “Oh really? So you didn’t feel any sort of emotion when you witnessed that random guy flirting with me?” I questioned & he shook his head, dragging his eyes away from mine.  A grin spread onto my lips, a pout sitting on his own. “I think you’re jealous.” I stated & his eyes snapped back to mine, pointing a glare down at me. 

 

    “I am  _ not _ .” He defended & I hummed sarcastically.

 

    “Sure.” I responded & he groaned, ducking his head down into the crook of my neck in order to hide the blush invading his cheeks.

 

    “I’m not jealous.” He mumbled into my skin, shaking his head as a few strands of his hair tickled my neck.

 

    He was  _ definitely _ jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of a filler lmao. idk where I'm going with this book anymore...like the conflict has been resolved & now I just idk so like help a girl out if u have any ideas...
> 
> anyway,, ily all & GOODNIGHT!! <3333


	37. THIRTY SIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoyyyy!! sorry it’s late at night lol! ;*

**_Emma_ **

**_Ethan’s Range Rover_ **

 

**** “Ethan, nothing’s gonna happen. It'll be  _ fine _ .” I dragged out, tossing my head back against the dark leather headrest that belonged to the passenger seat. 

 

    “How do you know that? He’s unpredictable, Emma.” Ethan argued, his jaw clenching & unclenching as he looked both ways down the street before turning left.

 

    “Okay, well, unless you have around ten outfits that fit me and a girl’s bathing suit...it’s gonna happen. Who knows? Maybe my dad changed his attitude? Sobered up?” I asked, mostly to myself. Ethan bounced his knee up & down next to me, his knuckles turning paler against the dark material of the steering wheel they were gripping.

 

    “The last time you probably thought he ‘sobered up’ was right before I found you running down the sidewalk all sick and cold like a lost puppy.” He stated & I sighed at the memory, remembering the way his vehicle pulled up next to me at a convenient time & the look of confusion on his face.

 

    “But that was  _ last time _ , this time could be different.” I whispered & Ethan groaned from beside me, shaking his head.

 

    “He  _ hit  _ you, Emma. I’m not letting that happen again.” He growled, his jaw jutting forwards slightly in agitation. I licked the inside of my cheek, thinking.

 

    “Well it’s my only option and it’ll take like two seconds to just go in, grab my stuff, and leave.” I explained & Ethan rolled his dark eyes as we came to a stoplight. 

 

    “No.” He stated simply as if it was his decision. I get that he was trying to protect me & that warmed my heart, but this, going to my dad’s house to collect everything I need for our upcoming school trip, was my decision & it was necessary. 

 

    “Just drive me there, Ethan.” I said, a hint of annoyance in my tone. I just wanted to get this over with, grabbing my clothes...& seeing how my dad is doing.

 

    “No, Emma. I don’t want you to get hurt. That’s final.” He said sternly, continuing to drive in the direction of his own house instead of mine.

 

    “ _ Ethan _ .” I groaned, throwing my hands up in aggression. My gaze moved angrily to the car door & I hastily pushed the small button up, unlocking the door. I wrapped my hand around the door handle & pulled it forward, making it click as the door was able to open now if I pushed it.

 

    “The fuck are you doing?!” Ethan accused, glancing between me & the road in front of him with his eyebrows narrowed in anger & confusion.

 

    “I  _ will _ jump out and walk to his house myself if you won’t drive me.” I stated & he scoffed.

 

    “Emma, stop. I’m serious. We can go buy you clothes and a bathing suit or two, you don’t need to put yourself in danger by going back to your house.” He explained, releasing a little pressure from the gas pedal & causing the vehicle to slow down slightly as he glanced at me again.

 

    “I’m serious too Ethan. Nothing’s gonna happen. Drive me back to my house to get my clothes...or jumping out of the car and walking there myself.” I deadpanned & the vehicle swerved a little as he looked at me angrily.

 

    “You won’t. Just shut the door.” He decided & I cocked an eyebrow challengingly at him.

 

    “Yes, I  _ will _ .” I argued, pushing the car door open a large amount & unbuckling my seatbelt. Just as I was about to jump out, a large hand gripped my arm, stopping me from moving.

 

    “Etha–” I started to yell, but was cut off.

 

    “I’ll drive you there! Okay?!” He spoke loudly, his voice alert & I narrowed my eyes at him.

 

    “Awh, he does care about me.” I cooed, only half sarcastically as I relaxed back into the cool leather seat & slammed the door shut with great force. He didn’t respond, only letting go of my arm with an angry & defeated look on his face. I chuckled, reaching for the seatbelt & clicking it back into place.

 

    A few moments of silence passed as he turned the car around, heading in the direction of my house instead of his. His face held a tense look as he practically glared at the road before him. I smiled at his angry attitude & reached my hand over to him, poking his cheek playfully.

 

    “Oh no, is the poor baby all mad now?” I said in a lower voice as if I were talking to a younger child & he clenched his jaw, swatting my hand away from his face. “Rude.” I spoke, not giving up as I brought my hand back again, poking him in the junction of where his neck & shoulder connected. His head cringed to the side & his ear pressed against his shoulder as he let out an involuntary laugh.

 

    “Stop!” He yelled, shaking his head & rolling his shoulders as if to shake my actions off. I smirked in amusement.

 

    “Fine.” I laughed, looking out the window at all of the houses & cars blurring by. My house was only a few streets away & my foot tapped anxiously on top of the dirt mat that lined the floor of the car. I hoped my dad was doing okay, even if he hadn’t been the greatest father figure this past year, I still cared about him. He was the only close family member I had at the moment. I really hoped there wouldn’t be any issues when we get to my house either, I just want to grab the stuff I need, possibly make small talk with my dad & then leave.

 

    I needed my clothes & toiletries for the school trip we’re going on in a few days, on Friday is when we’re leaving. It’s Wednesday & that only gives me two days to prepare for the week long trip. All of the sophomores are going to  _ Comondú _ which is in  _ Baja California Sur _ , _ Mexico _ . We will be taking a cruise there, straight trip without any stops which I find kind of stupid. The whole point of a cruise is to stop at different places on the way there, but apparently not. 

 

    There’s no specific reason we are going to  _ Comondú _ , but it is conveniently located just below California in the West, so the cruise is able to just travel along the coast basically. It takes around a day to travel there & we will be staying there for a week, so nine days in total counting the days we will just be traveling there & back. 

 

    It’s very tropical in  _ Comondú _ & it’s surrounded by water, so we will be swimming a lot & even though we aren’t stopping anywhere on the way there, I’m pretty sure we are able to swim off of the cruise. The school is paying for whole trip which is really nice, since they had extra money this year. 

 

    James, Ethan & I are all planning on definitely going as well as Hannah & Ellie, but Grayson might not be able to make it. It all depends on how he’s feeling Friday. He wouldn’t be able to swim or do anything crazy either if he went but I know James really wants him to go, after all the drama that happened between them they deserve a week of peace & romance. I hope that can happen for Ethan & I too. I don’t think there’s ever been a point in our relationship so far where there has been complete peace & we can just enjoy each other's presence.

 

    “Alright, let’s go.” Ethan suddenly spoke, sounding reluctant & drawing me out of my thoughts as he took his keys out of the ignition, shoving the, into his pocket & reaching for his car door handle.

 

    “No,” I said & pulled his arm away from the car door, placing it back into his lap as he furrowed his eyebrows at me, “you're not coming in with me.”

 

    “ _ Emma _ . If I was forced to drive you here against my own will, then I should be able to at least go inside to make sure nothing happens.” He scoffed, tilting his head at me in annoyance. 

 

    “You’re missing the point though, I wanna see how my dad’s doing and if he’s any different, but I can’t do that if you come in with me. He could possibly act different when you’re right next to me.” I explained & he sighed, swallowing nothing as he held an intense eye contact with me. He brought his hand up slowly & gently held my chin between his thumb & pointer finger, his eyes searching mine.

 

    “Promise me you’ll be safe.” He whispered & I nodded slowly, my eyes flicking down to his plump lips & then back up to his deep green eyes. He leaned in & pressed a soft, yet loving kiss to my lips & I kissed back, smiling softly into the kiss before pulling away.

 

    “I promise.” I whispered, a little breathless & he chuckled softly, dropping his hand from my chin as I unbuckled my seatbelt & opened the car door. I glanced outside, seeing my dad’s car parked right next to where Ethan parked, signaling he was indeed home.

 

    “I’ll be waiting.” He spoke & I nodded.

 

    “I know.” I smiled, shutting the car door softly & blowing him a kiss through the window. I turned on my heel & walked up the small length of cement leading to the familiar doorsteps. I swallowed the air in my throat as I arrived in front of the door. I exhaled deeply, puffing my cheeks out as my fingers wrapped around the metal door handle & I turned the knob slowly, pushing the door open. I walked through the doorway & was hit with the familiar smell of  _ home _ that I had missed more than I thought I did. 

 

    “Dad?” I called out, my voice echoing through the hallway & kitchen. Almost all of the lights were on. The was a shuffling noise that came from the living room & I furrowed my eyebrows, moving my gaze to look down the hallway in the direction of the sound. 

 

    “Em?” I heard my dad’s deeper voice call out softly & I looked to my left, seeing that he had come from the kitchen, which was right next to the living room. I dragged my eyes over his appearance, slight shock falling over me. He looked...normal. A green t-shirt with thin blue stripes hung a little past his hips & he had his usual pair of black sweatpants on that he would always wear after work when he wanted to relax. His black hair, with a few grey strands here & there, was quiffed up like usual. His face held a hopeful smile, showing his teeth & he looked happy to see me, not looking drunk at all.

 

    “Hi dad.” I spoke & he shifted his mouth into a closed lips smile, holding out his arms for me. I glanced between his two thin arms, deciding if I should accept the hug or not. When my eyes moved back up to gaze at the genuine look on his face a smile spread across my lips, walking closer & hugging him back as his arms wrapped around me. I inhaled the usual scent of laundry soap that clung to the fabric of his shirt & buried my face into his shoulder.

 

    “I missed you so much, I’m so, so, sorry. I’m a horrible dad and you had every right to stay away. I’m so sorry.” He mumbled genuinely into my hair & I shook my head, a few tears coming to my eyes.

 

    “You’re not a bad dad, everybody makes mistakes.” I whispered honestly, my voice breaking only slightly as I sniffled, quickly getting rid of the unwanted tears. 

 

    “I didn’t know if something happened to you when you ran out, I was so scared for my baby girl, and I regret every single thing that I ever did on and before that day. I haven’t drinken anything since then. I was just waiting for you to come home.” He explained, his voice shaking as he rubbed his hand up & down my back soothingly. 

 

    “I’m proud of you.” I spoke truthfully into his shoulder.

 

    “I just—I was reminiscing about your mother and then I had a drink or two and I got attached to the feeling of not having to  _ feel  _ when I thought about her. And then I took my anger & pain out on you & I’m just so sorry.” He explained, sniffling above me & I squeezed him tighter, nodding my head as I processed the information I had been given.

 

    “Thank you for telling me.” I said & he nodded shakily, dragging his fingers through my hair comfortingly. 

 

    “You deserved to know.” He admitted as he pulled away from the hug & both of our arms dropped to our sides as I gave him a soft smile.

 

    “I forgive you, but, I don’t think I’m ready to live back here just yet. I’ll still visit a lot obviously but it’ll take a little while for me to fully trust living here again.” I explained & he nodded, flexing his fingers out as if to gesture that he understood.

 

    “Of course, I respect that, but just wondering, where will you stay? Hannah’s place?” He questioned & I bit the inside of my cheek, debating if I should tell him that I’ll be staying with Ethan at his house. Yeah, that would go over  _ great _ . ‘Oh you know, just at Ethan’s house, who’s my boyfriend if you didn’t know and we share a bed so yeah.’ I internally rolled my eyes at how horribly that conversation would go.

 

    “Grayson’s place. He was kind enough to offer the guest room to me at their house.” I mentioned nonchalantly, throwing in a shrug to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal.

 

    “Yeah, he’s a good kid. That’s relieving.” My dad laughed lightly, placing his hands on his hips as he shook his head with humor.

 

    “Yeah. Um, on Friday I’m leaving to  _ Comondú  _ on a school trip for a week, so I also came here to pack myself everything that I’ll need…” I trailed off, looking down at the floor as I scuffed the heel of my shoe against the wooden floor, making a small noise.

 

    “Sounds fun, kiddo.” He responded & I bit my lip to keep away any emotional tears threatening to spill over at the familiar nickname.

 

    “Okay, I’m gonna go pack.” I smiled softly & he nodded, giving me a corny thumbs up. I shook my head at him & turned around, heading up the stairs & walking down the hallway to my neglected bedroom. I pushed the white door open, revealing the cozy room that I used to wake up in every morning before all the drama of highschool happened. I can’t say I didn’t miss those mornings, but I also can’t say I did because now instead of waking up to the sound of my alarm, I got to wake up to Ethan’s soft snores in my ear. 

 

    My breath hitched. Oh my God. That’s crazy. The last time I stepped foot in this room was when Ethan & I were still not on the best of terms, him not being as open with me & me not telling him my feelings for him or what was going on with my dad. We weren’t together the last time I feel asleep in my own bed. The thought of that made my heart skip two beats. It was odd to think about. I used to cry myself to sleep in this room because of Ethan & what he would do to me daily & now I would probably cry myself to sleep if Ethan wasn’t right next to me.

 

    I sighed, shaking my head with a small smile as I came out of my thoughts, grabbing my suitcase from under the bed. I unzipped it, tossing the flap open as I turned around & walked over to my closet. I walked through the doorway & my eyes lit up at the sight of all of my clothes, having missing the feeling of clothes that actually fit me. Don’t get me wrong, I  _ loved  _ wearing Ethan’s clothes, but trust me, wearing tight leggings with his large hoodie would look way better than joggers that are way too big.

 

    After sifting through the many different shirts, leggings, jeans & hoodies I owned, I decided on eleven solid outfits, packing an extra one just in case. I tossed three different bikinis into the suitcase as well, planning to swim a lot considering we would be on a fucking cruise most of the time. I had gathered all of the toiletries I needed as well, neatly placing them on top of my clothes that sat folded in the bottom of the suitcase. Just as I was about to zip the whole thing shut, a loud voice was heard from downstairs & I sighed.

 

    “Where is she?!” Ethan’s voice echoed throughout the house & I heard a small shuffling of feet.

 

    “What do you mea–Grayson? Is that you? Did you do something different with your hair?” I heard my dad question & I pursed my lips, quickly zipping the suitcase up the rest of the way & heading down the hallway, going down the stairs two at a time. 

 

    “Don’t play dumb, where’s  _ Emma _ ?” I heard Ethan demand as I hopped off of the last step, rounding the corner & entering the hallway.

 

    “Ethan.” I called out, making Ethan’s head turn to look at me. He walked over to me immediately, gently grabbing me by both of my forearms, his eyes scanning over my body full of worry.

 

    “Are you okay? You were gone for awhile and I got worried.” He admitted his eyelashes lowering as he looked down at me.

 

    “Yeah, I’m fine. It took me a hot minute to pick out all of my outfits.” I laughed lightly & his facial expression didn’t change, still scanning over my appearance as if he was trying to tell if I was lying or not.

 

    “Emma, you didn’t tell me Grayson took you here. I haven’t seen this kid on forever!” My dad exclaimed happily, walking closer to us & Ethan’s eyebrows furrowed down at me in confusion.

 

    “Dad, this isn’t Grayson, this is his twin brother...Ethan.” I explained shortly & watched as my dad’s facial expression slowly dropped, in both confusion & what looked like a hint of anger.

 

    “Grayson has a twin?” My dad asked & I nodded. “Wait a minute,” He continued, “isn’t Ethan the guy who would be the reason you’d you cry yourself to sleep almost every night freshman year?” I clenched my jaw at the question, feeling Ethan’s eyes burning down onto me as I avoided eye contact with him.

 

    “What?” Ethan questioned.

 

    “Your the reason she was so depressed all of her freshman year?! The reason she would come home with bruises and say that she got the, from gym?! Get your hands off of my daughter, now you bitch!” My dad demanded & Ethan’s eyebrows narrowed at him, dropping his hands from my arms as he turned to face my dad.

 

    “Says the guy who gave his own daughter brui—” Ethan began to argue & I slapped my hand over his mouth, pushing him behind me as my dad took a step towards him. 

 

    “Stop it.” I spoke, holding my arms out in between them in order to keep them away from each other. I looked at Ethan, then back at my dad, seeing them both with clenched jaws & lowered eyebrows.

 

    “Dad, Ethan’s changed. He did what he did for personal reasons and that’s not his fault. Now he’s helped me more than anybody ever could. I’m  _ happy  _ because of him. He’s perfectly safe.” I explained, receiving full eye contact from my dad’s bright blue eyes as he swallowed slowly, his posture relaxing.

 

    “Ethan, my dad apologized and we are working things out. But for now, it’s all fine.” I said as I turned to face Ethan, his eyes not moving away from my dad’s. “Ethan.” I spoke his name again, making his eyes slowly drag down to look at my own. “I promise.” I assured him & he unclenched his jaw, nodding. 

 

    “Sorry for accusing you, Ethan.” My dad spoke out & I sighed, dropping my defensive arms.

 

    “Same here.” Ethan responded simply, receiving a nod from my dad. I looked between the two men, feeling an awkwardness growing in the air.

 

    “Okay, well dad, I love you and maybe I’ll see you in a week or two. We’ll see.” I stated & my dad nodded, biting his lip as he opened the front door for Ethan & I to walk through, Ethan taking the suitcase out of my hands.

 

    “I love you honey, stay safe.” I heard my dad say before shutting the door behind us. I sighed into the natural breeze that blew by.

 

**_Emma_ **

**_Friday, Her & James’ Room On The Cruise_ **

 

    “Oh my God, it smells like the ocean in here!” James exclaimed as we stumbled into the smaller room that had only one king bed & a large bathroom, yet was encouraged beautifully with many different Hawaiian flowers everywhere & many bright colors. 

 

    “Really?” I asked sarcastically & he glared at me, tossing one of his three suitcases onto the bed & leaving the other two near the small white armchair in the corner of the room. I rolled my eyes at him & he glared back at me.

 

    “What?” He asked & I snorted, shaking my head as I dropped my singular suitcase onto the soft bed, a comforter decked out with the pattern of Hawaiian flowers draped over the mattress.

 

    “You bringing three whole suitcases on a week long trip.” I spoke, continuing to shake my head as he gasped in offense.

 

    “Excuse me, this face doesn’t just naturally look like this.” He sassed, running his acrylic nails through his quiffed up hair. I smiled to myself at his cocky attitude, missing the positive vibes he gave off. I was happy we were able to share a room together, but honestly shocked that I hadn’t been put with another girl. Then again, basically everyone in the school—including the teachers—considered James a girl. So I wouldn’t be surprised if he was on the girls list when it came to rooms on this giant cruise. 

 

    “Emmaaaa,” James groaned, bringing me out of my thoughts as I raised an eyebrow at him, “cuddle with meeee!” I rolled my eyes.

 

    “No I’m not cuddling with you just because your boyfriend isn’t here. What am I? A replacement?” I asked.

 

    “Not even close to that, a little further down on the scale.” He responded & I gasped in fake offense, pressing my palm against my chest.

 

    “Rude.” I replied, shrugging my jacket off & tossing it onto the floor without care. Grayson hadn’t been able to come on the trip, as he was still in pain & he could’ve gotten worse if something even small were to happen to him. Ethan & I were relieved that we didn’t have to be overly cautious & protective about him, while James on the other hand, couldn’t handle the fact that he wouldn’t have somebody to cuddle with at night.

 

    “Well,” James sighed, sitting up on the bed & brushing his knees off, “I’m gonna go to Drew’s room and kick your boyfriend out, so you can share a room with him instead. At least  _ Drew  _ will cuddle with me.” My eyebrows narrowed at him as he stood up, grabbing his suitcases, all  _ three _ of them.

 

    “Would that be considered cheating on Grayson?” I asked suspiciously & he shook his head. 

 

    “Not when the friend you’re cuddling with has seen a picture of you and your naked boyfriend.” He explained with a small wink at the end & my mouth hung open slightly, blinking a few times before shaking my head.

 

    “Okay, bye, bye. Leave. I don’t want to hear anymore!” I shouted, shooing at him with my hand as he squealed & ran out of the room with his luggage. I shook my head, letting out a small chuckle before flopping stomach first onto the California king bed. I sighed loudly as the soft mattress molded to my body shape, perfecting my supporting my weight as I closed my eyes comfortably. I could get used to this.

 

    Suddenly large hands were felt on my hips & a tall body was pressed against my back, slightly crushing me as I jumped in shock at the sudden presence of a person.

 

    “Hi.” Ethan’s voice whispered into my ear & I smiled warmly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? ideas? ly allllll!! more ethma fluff & stuff in next chap!! byeeee!


	38. THIRTY SEVEN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik it's technically not thursday anymore & it's really short & trashy but this whole thing happened where I had this chap written & then my stupid app literally deleted half of it so I had to quickly rewrite it & now it's gross so i sowwy. u probably won't enjoy. :'(

**_Emma_ **

**_The Hallway of The Cruise_ **

 

    "Ethan! Put me down asshole!" I screamed as Ethan picked me up by my hips & threw me over his bare shoulder.

 

    "Shh! You're gonna wake the whole boat up!" He shushed me, a small chuckle escaping his lips & sending vibrations through his chest as my cheek was pressed flush against the skin of his back. I groaned as my body swung back & forth slightly from being carried. Ethan's feet padded softly against the purple-carpeted floor of the hallway as he continued walking.

 

    "Put me down Ethan!" I whisper shouted, "It was a joke, I know you're not fat okay?!" I pressed the palms of my hands flat against his muscular back & tried to push away from his body but failed.

 

    "Oh yeah, it sure seems like it when you clearly said the only exercise I get is from 'running my mouth and jumping to conclusions'." He grumbled & I bit my lip, a small laugh escaping me as the joke I had made resurfaced from when Ethan was eating all of my snacks in my designated room earlier. 

 

    "Would you just put me down?" I asked, letting my arms & upper body hang limply against his back as I gave up.

 

    "Nope." He responded, popping his lips together on the 'p'.

 

    "Asshole." I muttered & he snorted, his shoulder blades twitching up slightly. The smell of chlorine then entered my nose & I breathed it in deeply, noticing how it smelt like both chemicals & the ocean mixed together. I could tell from my upside down view of the now closing door, that we had entered our destination of the room that had the boat's pool & hot tub in it.

 

    "Call me an asshole again and I'm throwing you in the pool." Ethan threatened & my eyebrows narrowed at the wooden wall across the steamy room.

 

    "That's not very nice, you're my boyfriend, you're supposed to be nice to me." I pointed out & he sighed, his upper body moving up & then down heavily.

 

    "We finally get a peaceful night alone with each other and you just  _ have _ to ruin it." He tisked & my mouth fell open in offended shock.

 

    "You're the one man handling me over your shoulder after I made a simple joke!" I reminded him, raising my voice slightly. I could imagine the smirk forming on his face from my obvious annoyance & he twisted his body from side to side, making me sway greatly. I groaned.

 

    "What's wrong?" He mused, not stopping his actions.

 

    "Stop it, you're giving me a fucking headache you asshole!" I shouted, my hands flying to my temples & before I could process the words that left my mouth, my body collided with room temperature water as I sank into it. I gasped as my head went underwater & I quickly swam back up to the surface of the pool water. I grabbed onto the side of the pool & glared up at Ethan who was smiling down at me with a teasing glint in his eyes.

 

    "What'd I tell you?" He asked & I flipped him off, looking away as I pressed my palms flat against the floor next to the pool in order to push myself up & out of the slightly cold water.

 

    "Such a dickhead." I mumbled as I stood up, wrapping my arms around myself as I shivered slightly. I was wearing a pale-olive green bikini that contrasted well against my lightly tanned skin, but also exposed a few of the faint bruises scattered around my stomach & the dark, fingerprint-sized bruises on my hips bones. All from Cameron. They were a constant reminder of what had happened. A constant pain.

 

    "Maybe, but I'm  _ your _ dickhead." Ethan smoothed from behind me & I rolled my eyes, coming out of my thoughts as an unwanted smile formed on my lips.

 

    "Wow, such a romantic." I complimented, turning my head back to look at him as he gave me a cheesy smile. I let out a soft laugh, shaking my head & looking away as my eyes searched for the hot tub. I spotted it in the corner of the room, steam emitting from it as it bubbled with heat. My eyes lit up & I walked over to the smaller tub, stepping up the few steps.

 

    I heard a small & angry scoff come from behind me as I felt fingertips lightly graze the sides of my lower back. I tilted my head back to see Ethan who was gazing in the direction of where he was brushing his fingers. 

 

    "There's even fingerprints on your back." He said bluntly, his eyes now a darker shade as they flicked up to meet my brighter ones.

 

    "I know." I mumbled sadly, bringing a hand up to run through my wet hair. His eyes moved back down to the small bruises, thick eyebrows furrowing deeply. "Hey," I said softly, bringing his chin up with my pointer finger, "it's in the past. There's nothing you  _ or  _ me can do about it." He nodded slowly, the muscles in his face relaxing a little. I gave him a gentle smile & dropped my hand, turning back around. 

 

    I slowly stepped down into the hot water & sighed as it wrapped my tense muscles in a comforting heat. I made my way to the other side of the tub & sat down slowly, relaxing as the water bubbled up to my collarbones. Ethan stepped in then, an audible sigh leaving him as he sunk into a sitting position across from me in the hot water. I gave him a lazy smile & he returned it with the same amount of effort.

 

    "I wonder how Grayson's doing." I mentioned genuinely & Ethan visibly tensed a little.

 

    "Yeah, I wonder if he still hates me." He retorted & my eyelids lowered at him as I kicked him in the leg.

 

    "Shuddup, I'm sure he doesn't." I spoke, receiving a shrug & another sigh from him.

 

    "I bet that when we get back home from this trip, he's literally gonna give me the same look that he did when he was done yelling at me." He stated & I rolled my eyes.

 

    "He will  _ not _ . You'll be fine, he'll get over it. He didn't tell you he was gay for awhile and you got mad, but you still got over it. Just like he will about this. It's the same thing." I explained & he scoffed, looking of to the side.

 

    "Yeah, except, Gray didn't keep his homosexual self a secret for three  _ years _ ." He added & I pursed my lips. He did have a point, & Grayson was  _ really  _ mad.

 

**_Emma_ **

**_Flashback_ **

**_Wednesday, Just Got Back From Her House_ **

 

_     "Care to explain why you didn't tell me?" Grayson's voice suddenly snapped as Ethan  & I walked past the living room of their house. I turned my head in confusion at the question, seeing Grayson sitting carefully on the couch so his ribs wouldn't hurt. _

 

_     "Explain what?" Ethan asked, setting my suitcase down against the wall of the hallway  & furrowing his eyebrows at his twin. Grayson scoffed. _

 

_     "Are you fucking serious?" Grayson exclaimed  & Ethan raised his eyebrows. _

 

_     "Woah, dude, chill. I don't even know why you're mad." Ethan said, putting his hands up in fake offence. _

 

_     "I'm not mad, Ethan, I'm confused. Confused as to why you didn't even bother to tell your own fucking twin that our dad is abusing you and has been for awhile?!" Grayson accused  & my eyebrows rose as I leaned against the living room wall, this not being my fight. _

 

_     "Gray—" Ethan started. _

 

_     "And then just because I was on bed rest and not able to leave my room for the past two days, you just avoid going into my room because you know that I heard what happened Monday night. And you don't wanna have to tell the truth to me that you've been lying to me for three whole fucking years!" Grayson stopped for a moment, taking a breather as his hand rested over his ribcage. _

 

_     "I didn't want you to worry because if dad knew I told you, then he would probably hurt you and I couldn't let that happen. I was protecting you, Grayson!" Ethan argued back  & Grayson practically had steam coming out of his ears. _

 

_     "You couldn't trust me to not tell him?! Is that really why you didn't tell me?! You couldn't trust your own twin brother?!" Grayson yelled  & I was glad Lisa wasn't home to hear any of this. _

 

_     "I—" Ethan spoke. _

 

_     "No, you don't get to speak! I had to suffer for three whole fucking years watching my twin brother become an actual piece of shit who only cared about getting laid and drinking at parties, all while it could've been prevented if you had just fucking talked to me and told me about what our own father was doing to you?! I can't fucking believe you Ethan!" Grayson shouted, slightly shaking with anger. _

 

_     "Gray, I'm sorry. I really was just trying to protect you." Ethan apologized  & Grayson scoffed. _

 

_     "Three years. Three of the shittiest years of my life could have been prevented if you weren't so fucking selfish thinking that you had to keep everything to yourself. Unbelievable." Grayson stated, crossing his arms carefully. _

 

_     "Gray, plea—" Ethan began. _

 

_     "No. I don't wanna talk to you right now." Grayson announced, moving his angry gaze away from his twin  & back to the tv.  _

 

**_Emma_ **

**_Flashback Over_ **

**_The Hot Tub_ **

 

    "–Emma." Ethan's voice suddenly said, bringing me out of my memories as I snapped my gaze to him.

 

    "Hm?" I hummed in response & he chuckled, shaking his head a little.

 

    "I said, do you know what time it is?" He said & I nodded in understanding, my eyebrows raising in a dazed state as I stared down at the bubbly water we were sitting in.

 

    "No, lemme check my phone." I replied finally & turned around, feeling around the table near the hot tub for the electronic device. I rubbed my lips together in confusion when I didn't feel it but then remembered that Ethan had been the one to carry both me & all of our stuff here, so it was probably on the table behind him.

 

    "My phone's behind you I believe." I spoked & stood up, wading over to where Ethan was sitting & leaning over him to reach my phone that was visibly sitting on the small wooden table just outside the hot tub. My eyebrows narrowed as my arm was too short to reach my phone from the position I was in. I leaned more forward & just as my fingertips brushed the edge of the electronic device I lost my balance slightly & my knee came up onto the seat in the hot tub to stop me from falling. 

 

    I heard Ethan's breath hitch slightly after my knee moved & I glanced down to see that my limb had landed directly in between his thighs. A blush slowly spread across my face. As I was about to apologize, I accidentally moved my knee & it brushed against the crotch of his swim trunks again, but this time Ethan's lips parted in a silent noise as he blinked slowly. I swallowed the air in my throat as I debated my next move. Ethan's hands hovered in the water away from his legs, as if he didn't want to interfere with whatever I did next. I stayed frozen, my eyes being the only muscle moving as I locked an intense eye contact with him. A small, shaky breath escaped from his lips as if he were trying not to move & I gulped.

 

    Well, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what to say it was so BAD. i am so sorry u had to read that. but next chap will be better, i promise. ;( alrighty, gn & ily, yes, you. sleep well. <33333


	39. THIRTY EIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> literally the whole thing is smut so like if that's not ur cup of tea then don't read. :) enjoy ig lmao.

**_Emma_ **

**_The Hot Tub_ **

 

**** "Emma." Ethan spoke, his voice seeming to waver slightly. My knee didn't move from where it was between his legs.

 

    "Ethan." I breathed out, my eyes flicking away from my phone on the table & down to meet his once brown eyes that were now a darker shade of green. The bubbles in the hot tub turned off suddenly, leaving the room silent as the water rippled slightly around us.

 

    "I don't–” He started & I cut him off, leaning down to press my lips against his. His breath hitched & his hands still hovered in the water for a moment before he gave in. He pressed his lips a bit hard against mine & his hands moved down to my hips, just resting there. I moved my hands to his hair, twisting my fingers into the dark strands & tugging lightly. He gasped softly against my lips, only deepening the kiss. 

 

    I sank down into the water & straddled his lap for better access, causing a small grunt to escape him, almost sounding like he didn't like that action. He broke apart from the kiss & slowly opened his eyes, his eyebrows knitting together in conflict.

 

    "If we keep going, I don't think I'll be able to stop." He muttered & my stomach did a flip, a lump forming in my throat at the tone of his voice. I slowly swallowed, licking my lips a little shakily.

 

    "Then don't." I whispered, causing his darkened eyes to snap up & meet mine. His lips parted as he let out a small, shaky breath & I could tell he was trying to hold himself back. 

 

    "Okay." He finally let out, nodding slowly. A soft smile spread across my lips & I ducked my head down slightly, catching his lips in a passionate kiss. He kissed back with just as much meaning & I tilted my head to deepen the kiss. I moved one of my hands to his cheek & twisted the other one back into his damp hair, wanting something to hold onto. 

 

    His lips felt full & smooth against mine, our noses slightly clashing together as the kiss started to turn lustful & more desperate. My fingers gripped the dark strands of hair underneath them & tugged harder than before, a deep moan spilling out of his lips that were pressed against mine.

 

    I pulled away then, catching my breath as I stared into his eyes lustfully. His adam's apple bobbed up & down with eagerness as he breathed heavily, his gaze flicking down to my lips for a moment.

 

    "Let's go back to the room." He muttered & I nodded, in a daze as we stood up & got out of the hot tub. 

 

    I grabbed my phone & towel, Ethan doing the same before we were practically running down the hallway. Hot water dripped onto the purple-carpeted floor as we stumbled to my room's door, quickly scanning the room key.

 

    As soon as we entered the room we tossed our things onto the floor & Ethan quickly pressed his still hot body against my own, his large hands going under my thighs. I took the hint & wrapped my arms around his neck as I jumped up, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist. He groaned lowly as my crotch pressed against his & my back was slammed against the door to the room as he stepped forward.

 

    Before I could process the excitement of what was happening, his plump lips were back on mine, no longer being as gentle. The kiss was full of pure lust & desire, one of my hands moving to drag down his bare & toned chest as our tongues brushed together. At one point I felt one of his hands leave from under my left thigh, the sound of the lock on the door behind me clicking. 

 

    I pulled away from the deep kiss to let some oxygen into my lungs & suddenly felt Ethan trailing kisses down my jaw. I tilted my head to the side subconsciously, giving him more room as he moved his head down to begin sucking dark marks into my neck. His teeth then slightly dug into my sweet spot at the base of my neck & I moaned loudly, throwing my head back against the door. I could feel his smirk against my collarbones & I moved my hand away from his chest, instead grabbing him by his hair & pulling his head up to crash our lips together again.

 

    Not breaking the kiss, the pressure on my back left the door as Ethan walked blindly over to the bed. He slowly lowered me down onto the soft mattress, the memory foam molding against the slight curve of my back. 

 

    As soon as my head hit the mattress, Ethan caught my bottom lip gently between his teeth & pulled away slowly, letting it go & watching it snap back into place hotly. My eyelashes slowly fluttered open & I looked up at him. His pupils were blown wide with lust & his cheeks were flushed, his hair even messier than before. The once pale pink tint to his lips, was now replaced by a darker red from the intensity of our kisses & they glistened in the dim light of the room. It was fucking  _ hot _ .

 

    "Are you sure you want this?" He breathed out, his mouth barely moving as he stared into my eyes. I nodded almost immediately, my hands moving to bunch into the sheets with want. 

 

    He then ducked his head down, dropping a few wet kisses down my sternum, skipping over my damp bikini top & moving down to my stomach. He pressed a few lingering kisses, travelling down my stomach & then attached his lips to the spot right above my hip bone, sucking a dark mark there. I gasped quietly & my back arched a little as pleasure spread from that spot above my hip & travelled down south.

 

    I felt his large hand move suddenly, his finger tracing the top of my bikini bottom, soft lips not leaving my skin. As his pointer finger dipped daringly into the bathing suit piece, my stomach rose & fell quicker.

 

_    I let out loud sobs, knowing there was nothing I could do as he fumbled with the button on my blue skinny jeans & pulled them down to my ankles harshly along with my laced underwear. _

 

__ I gripped the sheets tighter.

 

_ My vision was blurry as I watched him stroke himself a few times before lining himself up in between my thighs. _

 

__ My eyes closed tightly.

 

_ He rammed his whole length into me harshly without preparation & I screamed louder than I ever have, causing him to punch me into the stomach with harsh force. _

 

__ "Hey, hey, Emma, open your eyes, open your eyes baby." Ethan's gentle voice suddenly said, a calloused, yet soft hand brushing against my cheek.

 

    I slowly opened my eyes to a blurry vision, then realizing I was crying.

 

    "What's wrong?" Ethan asked softly, his once lust-clouded eyes now replaced with worry. I shook my head slowly, bringing my hands up to wipe away my unplanned tears.

 

    "I'm not him, I promise. I would never hurt you like I used to and the thought of what he did never even crossed my mind." He whispered, brushing a damp strand of hair out of my eyes & I blew out a shaky breath, nodding my head.

 

    "We don't have to—" He started from above me & I placed my pointer finger over his soft lips, silencing him. I took in a deep breath, breathing out again & this time it wasn't as shaky.

 

    "I want to." I whispered, all thoughts of Cameron leaving my mind as I traced my finger along Ethan's bottom lip. His breath hitched & I could almost hear his heartbeat quicken. 

 

    "Okay. Just let me know immediately if you ever wanna stop." He explained as my hand dropped & I nodded, lifting my head up to catch his lips in a heated kiss, eager to push all negative memories away & make at least one positive one. 

 

    I felt one of his hands slip under my back & my bikini top went loose as he untied the back of it, then moving his hand up to until the strings around my neck. I shivered as he began placing sloppy kisses past my collarbone & then threw the bikini top onto the floor somewhere, leaving my chest exposed. I gasped slightly as the cold air hit my skin, raising pleasurable goosebumps. 

 

    Ethan didn't lift his head up, only continuing to press wet kisses onto my skin & suck a few marks here & there. His large hand dragged up my stomach then, squeezing one of my breasts as he sucked a dark mark just above the other. I let out a small moan as his lips left my skin & then reconnected with it as he began to move down my stomach again. 

 

    His fingers wasted no time as he placed one last lingering kiss above my bikini line, hooking them into the sides of the material & pulling the bikini bottom down & off of my legs. I let out an embarrassing moan as my southern regions were exposed & Ethan raised himself above me for a moment, his eyes scanning over my naked body. My cheeks heated up as I was exposed.

 

    "So beautiful." He murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to my lips & I blushed harder at his words. My head tilted to deepen the kiss & I placed a hand behind his head, pulling him impossibly closer as his tongue slipped into my mouth. 

 

    My back arched & I moaned again his lips at the feeling of a finger slowly slipping into me, giving him the opportunity to kiss me harder. His index finger slowly moved in & out of me & I whimpered into his mouth, biting his lower lip softly. 

 

    I felt him slip another finger in then & I gasped into the kiss, our tongues clashing together as my hands moved down to grip the bed sheets hard. 

 

    " _ Fuck _ ." I moaned as his two fingers scissored me open, picking up the pace the more I moaned. I could feel a small ball of heat forming inside of my stomach & I shuddered, knowing what that feeling meant. 

 

    Ethan suddenly bent his fingers slightly, hitting a sensitive bundle of nerves & my back arched off the bed as I moaned louder than before. He attached his lips to the base of my neck & bit down hard enough to leave bite marks as he then sucked a dark mark there.

 

    "Fuck me Ethan." I moaned desperately, wanting something more than just his fingers. He lifted his head up from my neck, giving me a slightly shocked expression.

 

    "Are you sure you're ready?" He asked & I groaned in frustration, jutting my hips down onto his fingers & making them go deeper. I moaned deeply.

 

    " _ Yes _ , fuck me!" I spoke out eagerly, wiggling my hips & whining at the loss of pleasure when he removed his fingers from my loosened heat.

 

    He sat back on his heels, tugging his swimming trunks down his legs & off of his feet, discarding it onto the floor to join my bathing suit. My eyes travelled down his tanned body, seeing his length already hard with precum beading at the tip. He  _ had  _ to be at least seven inches or more. 

 

    I licked my lips as he leaned back down, placing his hands on either side of my head as he gazed into my eyes with such deep lust that it made my stomach do a flip.

 

    He reached his hand behind me then & slipped it under the pillow my head was resting on, a small crinkling noise being heard before he pulled out a condom from under the sleeping item. He smirked down at me as he tore open the foil & I shook my head, smiling at how oddly prepared he was.

 

    He rolled the condom onto himself & then stroked his length a few times, having slightly at how sensitive he was from not being touched throughout the whole time until now. 

 

    He then leaned back down with one hand guiding his cock & one hand holding him up. He lined himself up with my entrance & I bit my lip as he stared down at me, as if he was waiting for me to tell him when.

 

    "Fuck me  _ hard _ . Don't be gentle." I said breathily, feeling confident in what I wanted at the moment. His thick eyebrows raised a little at my request before his face turned into one of pleasure.

 

    "You're so fucking hot." He muttered & before I could respond, he thrust his whole length into me, all the way to the base & I screamed out in pleasure & onto slight pain. He slapped a hand over my mouth as his face scrunched up with deep pleasure & I moaned again shakily against the palm of his hand as he twitched his hips slightly.

 

    "You're so tight." He groaned & I whimpered in return as he slowly started to twitch his pelvis against mine. 

 

    "M-move." I begged, my knuckles turning white from gripping the sheets so hard. 

 

    He accepted my wish & started to pick up the pace, snapping his hips against mine harder & faster. I moaned out loudly, throwing my head back against the pillow & squeezing my eyes shut as the pain disappeared into pure pleasure. 

 

    " _ Ethan _ !" I cried out, already knowing I wasn't gonna last long if he kept up the same pace. 

 

    With every thrust, he got deeper & I felt like I was on cloud nine, my whole body flooded with pleasure.

 

    "Oh my God!" I moaned when I felt his tip ram against my g-spot, making my thighs shake as the burning feeling of pleasure in my lower stomach grew larger.

 

    Ethan dropped his head down, biting & sucking more marks into my shoulder & groaning as I clenched around his length, bliss shooting up & down my spine. I moaned erotically when he bit down particularly hard at the junction where my shoulder & neck meet. 

 

    "I'm gonna—" I cut myself off by crying out as he slammed into my g-spot again, my thighs shaking uncontrollably as I came hard, hearing Ethan groan loudly from above me. I dragged my nails harshly down his back as I felt my cum spill out a little & his thrusts were starting to get sloppier, signalling he was getting closer.

 

    "Fuck." He moaned, his hips starting to jut harshly.

 

    "Cum for me baby." I moaned & he cried out loudly as he slammed into me one last time, his cock pulsating inside of me as he came just as hard.

 

    He fell on top of me but didn't put his entire weight on me as he slowly thrust his hips, riding out his high as he pressed sloppy kisses to my neck.

 

    I've never felt more pleasure in my life than in this moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skskksks ok bye ily all!! <3


	40. THIRTY NINE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH SORRY ITS SO SHORT! DONT ENJOY!!

**_Ethan_ **

**_In Bed With Emma_ **

 

    My eyes slowly blinked open as I felt myself waking up & my eyebrows furrowed slightly, still tired as I kept my eyes shut.

 

    It's not like I had to wake up. We left at six in the morning yesterday & it's a twenty one hour long trip there, so we would arrive at around three in the afternoon.

 

    I inhaled suddenly, feeling like I fell asleep again for a few minutes. I slowly exhaled the sharper inhale & opened my eyes, feeling a warm body wrapped in my arms.

 

    I looked down at myself, the dim light of the lamp that was left on behind me making me able to see Emma nestled tightly against me, her forehead resting against my shoulder. My eyes softened at the sight.

 

    My thumb rubbed against the slight dip in her smooth back & a soft smile spread across my lips, remembering last night's events. 

 

    It was odd though. As much as I'd like to deny it, I've slept with a good amount of girls & thought nothing of it. But last night, with Emma, made my hands shake & sweat with nerves. The thought of hurting her or taking things too fast scared the shit out of me. 

 

    Everything about last night felt ethereal, unlike any other time I've fucked around. This was out of pure love.

 

    But as I fell asleep last night to her soft fingers playing with my hair, a thought crossed my mind before I was succumbed to sleep.  _ How was Emma feeling in that moment?  _

 

    She had been raped, hurt in many different ways & forced to abort her own baby.  _ Our  _ baby. It made a cloud of guilt form over me, wondering if I had taken things too fast even though she started it. But maybe I shouldn't have led it on. What if I scarred her even more than she already was?

 

    A soft sigh left her nose, fanning against my collarbone softly as she shifted in her sleep, moving impossibly closer. 

 

    "I can practically hear you over thinking something." She mumbled with her eyes closed.

 

    "Stop it." She added, weakly hitting my left pec to strengthen her demand. I chuckled softly, bringing my hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear.

 

    "Anything for you." I whispered, only slightly sarcastically.

 

    "You know," I started quietly, "you're the only girl I've ever spent the whole night with. This makes me sound like an asshole, but I would always just leave right after anything happened. I've never slept through a whole night with any girl. Except for you."

 

    I didn't receive a response at first, but then there was a small groan of confusion leaving her lips.

 

   "Meredith?" She questioned sleepily & the corner of my lip curved down in disgust.

 

    "Fuck no." I protested quietly & a soft chuckle erupted into the silence, coming from her tired body.

 

    "Really? You seemed to love her a  _ lot _ ." She responded sarcastically, her words slurring with sleep. 

 

    "Go back to sleep, asshole." I stated in fake offense & she laughed lightly, snuggling closer into my chest, our bare bodies pressed together under the sheets. It was pure euphoria feeling her warm skin against my own, the feeling kept me in a state of bliss.

 

    I heard Emma's breathing slow down & her shoulder shifted slightly down as she relaxed back into sleep. 

 

    My eyelashes fluttered shut as well, the silence of the room making a wave of tiredness wash over me as I was left alone with my thoughts. 

 

**_Ethan_ **

**_A Little While Later_ **

 

    I inhaled sharply at the sound of a small cry & blinked my eyes open slowly, feeling how puffy with sleep they were.

 

    Emma's now cold body shifted against mine, moving in her sleep. I thought nothing of it, a soft exhale leaving my nose as my eyelashes fluttered shut again.

 

    "No, stop." My eyebrows furrowed at the mumbled sentence that left Emma's mouth.

 

    She must've been dreaming about something.

 

    "Stop, no, you can't. Stop touching me, please!" She cried out then & my breath hitched, immediately knowing she was dreaming about Cameron.

 

    That was odd. All the times I had slept near her before, she had never dreamed about him.

 

    A whimper escaped her in her sleep & a cloud of realization fell over me.

 

    Was she dreaming about Cameron & what happened to her because of what we did last night?

 

    "Ethan, stop!" Her pained voice cried & my eyes snapped open almost immediately, my heart falling through the mattress & hitting the ground.

 

    I placed my hand on her bare shoulder, seeing her face scrunched up as unconscious tears rolled down her flushed cheeks.

 

    "Emma, hey, Emma wake up. It's just a dream baby—" Before I could even finish my sentence, her eyes flew open & she flinched away from me, my hand falling onto the mattress. 

 

    Her eyes were bloodshot red & she looked like she had just seen a ghost as she stared at me with a wide gaze.

 

    "Emma?" I asked & got no response as she fled out of bed & into the bathroom, the lock being clicked on the door echoing throughout the room.

 

    Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short! i ran out of time with all my exams & studying! also I'm trying to figure shit out with this book so stay with me while i try my best! bye, ily!! :( <3 sorry. school sucks. :(


	41. FORTY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoyyyyy skskks

 

**_Ethan_**

**_Emma's Room_ **

  
     I stayed still for a few minutes, half-sitting up as I leaned back on my elbows. My hair felt messy and I felt disoriented as my now awake eyes continued to stare at the locked bathroom door.

     My heart beat was slow and painful as what had just happened replayed in my mind. Emma had dreamt about me hurting her...touching her. At first I thought it was Cameron that she was dreaming about, but then, she said my name. The tone of her voice sounded so scared and it tugged roughly at my heart strings. 

     Was she not ready for last night? Did I hurt her? Was I too rough? What if she connected me to Cameron because I wasn't gentle enough?

     My nerves spiked anxiously as my thoughts ran wild, immediately thinking the worst. What if...she hates me again?

     My hearing suddenly picked up on the faint sound of sniffling and I snapped out of my clouded thoughts, the grain of the wooden door coming into focus. I gently peeled the comforter off of me and tossed the corner of it to the other side of the bed that was now empty.

     The cool air rose goosebumps onto my exposed skin, reminding me of last night's events, as well as how silent the air in the room was.

     I moved off of the bed, bending down momentarily to pull on my boxer briefs that had been discarded onto the floor last night. 

     I felt around the soft carpeted floor for another item of clothing and my fingertips touched the thick material of my sweatpants that I had changed out of before we went swimming.

     I carefully pulled the grey item of clothing on and tied the white drawstrings so that the pants stayed perfectly on my hip bones, the band of my boxers slightly showing above the waistband.

     The room was still dark, only a faint amount of light peaking in through the curtains as I gave up trying to find my shirt through the darkness.

     I padded softly over to the bathroom and lingered infront of the door, my eyes looking at the locked handle. 

     "Emma?" I asked gently, rapping my knuckle against the door a few times.

     I got no response.

     "Emma, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should've never gone too rough lastnight or even pushed things that far in the first place. I understand if you don't wanna see me, I wouldn't either.” I explained, genuinely nervous of what I done.

     My hands shook slightly and my breathing picked up a little as a heavy wave of guilt washed over me. Emma probably hated me for what I had done.

     A click suddenly tore through the pitiful silence and my distracted gaze snapped down to look at the door handle. 

     I clenched my jaw as the door was slowly pulled open, revealing Emma, looking small as she stood there only wearing my orange hoodie that I had left in the bathroom lastnight.

     "You think this is your fault?" She asked, her slightly red eyes staring into mine as her eyebrows furrowed.

     I swallowed slowly, biting my lip.

     "I'm so sorry." I let out, feeling vulnerable as I dragged my eyes to the floor.

     "Ethan, look at me." She said softly, her hands framing the sides of my face and forcing my gaze to meet her own.

     "You did nothing wrong. I loved lastnight and there's not an ounce of me that regrets it. It was amazing. You were amazing." She stated, her thumbs rubbing softly against my cheekbones.

     My heart skipped a beat.

     "I didn't hurt you or anything?" I questioned, wanting to be sure.

     "No, E." She responded, her eyes darting between both of mine.

     "Then what were you dreaming about? You screamed my name like you were in pain." I rambled out, keeping the shaking out of my voice.

     Her bright eyes searched mine for a moment and she licked her lips.

     "I-it was about Cameron again...but then his face turned into yours. It's just a dream though, I know you'd never do anything like what he did." She explained, her voice dropping down an octave.

     "You still have dreams about him?" I whispered and she nodded lightly, her gaze looking distant for a moment.

     "Yeah. And the–nevermind." She cut herself off, shaking her head as she dropped her hands from my face.

     My eyebrows narrowed in confusion and I shook my head, stepping closer to look down at her.

     "And the what?" I coaxed softly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

     "The baby." She mumbled, avoiding my eyes and my stomach flipped.

     "Do you regret it?" I asked through the silence and she looked back up at me, confusion lacing through her irises.

     "What? The abortion?" She questioned and I nodded.

     "A little," She paused for a moment, inhaling, "it's just...there was a living thing inside of me. With a heartbeat. Even though the heartbeat was faint and on the verge of death from what Cameron did. A heartbeat created from you and me. When I was sitting in that hospital room, waiting for the procedure to be done, it's like I could feel the baby's damaged heartbeat. Feel it pleading for me to not just fucking kill it. To give it a chance, even though the chances of it surviving were extremely low." 

     Her eyes watered as she got angry at herself and my eyebrows furrowed.

     "Hey, this is not your fault. You should've never been put in that situation in the first place. I should've never hooked up with you when I was shit face drunk and too unfocused to think about being safe. And the baby was brutally beaten from the outside in, it was probably in a lot of pain. You wouldn't wanna keep it when it's on the verge of death, the doctor even said that there was no way it survive past two months. Even if nothing happened to the baby and you decided to keep it, it wouldn't have had a good life. We're teenagers Em, not mature adults. Cameron killed the baby, not you. Besides, she's probably dancing around in heaven right this moment while thinking about how one day she's gonna get to meet the best mom in the world." I said, my eyes searching her face as a tear rolled down her cheek, a small smile appearing on her lips.

     "You think it was a girl?" She asked, looking up at me and I shrugged.

     "Yeah. And she's probably beautiful, just like her mom." I spoke, smiling down at her as her eyes watered more.

     Her arms wrapped around my stomach then, shoving her face into my bare chest as she pulled herself close to me. 

     "I love you." She mumbled, her tears leaving wet drops on my skin.

     I wrapped my larger arms around her in return, smiling softly and resting my chin on top of her head as we stood there.

     "I love you more." I whispered, pulling her impossibly closer.

     "Asshole, you do not." She muttered, pinching my back as I flinched in pain.

     "Do too." I teased and before she could pinch me again I bent down, wrapping my arms around the back of her knees. 

     I picked her up by her legs and carried her over to the bed as she laughed and shoved at my shoulders.

     I gently tossed her onto her back on the mattress and she laughed again, looking up at me. There were a few tear tracks staining her cheeks and a lingering tear escaped her eye as she turned her head.

     I leaned down, brushing the tear away with my thumb as her fingers wrapped around my wrist.

     "Stop crying, you're gonna make me cry and ik already soaked in tears." I said, causing a bright smile to appear on her face as a laugh escaped her lips.

     I chuckled, leaning down and about to press a kiss to her lips when my lips met her hand and I pulled back in confusion.

     She shook her head with a goofy look on her face.

     "We have not brushed our teeth yet, so no kisses for you." She announced and I lowered my eyelids at her, lightly slapping her thigh in annoyance.

     "Fine." I groaned and stood back up, discarding my sweatpants back onto the floor as I planned to go back to bed.

     "What're you doing?" I heard Emma ask from her previous position still up on the bed.

     "I'm going back to sleep, I don't know about you." I said and she snorted.

     "Are you serious, it's probably almost noon!" She spoke and I shrugged.

     "So?" I replied and she glared at me.

     "You're insane." She stated.

     "And you're gonna cuddle with me." I stated back and she scoffed.

     "Funny. I'm gonna take a shower and get ready." She said and I groaned dramatically.

     "Please!" I pleaded.

     She narrowed her eyes at me and I tried to make my eyes as soft and big as possible, giving her an innocent look.

     "Fine." She whined and I smiled, aligning my teeth perfectly.

     I was about to crawl into the bed until I looked down at her and something caught my eye.

     "Are you wearing my boxers too?" I asked, a chuckle escaping me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okey buenos noches it's 1 a.m. here. ily! leave a comment to make me feel good about myself. ;)


	42. FORTY ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoyyyyy ;)

_**Ethan**_  
_**His House**_

 

"You little fucker, give it back!" I yelled, wrapping my arms around my bare chest.

 

"Look!" Emma yelled, her eyes filling with tears of laughter as she gripped my shirt in her hand and pointed at me.

 

"Oh my God." My mom snorted, covering her mouth with her hand as a smile spread across her face.

 

I glared at her.

 

"Did you even put a single drop of sunscreen on?" She laughed and I made a dumb facial expression.

 

" _Obviously not_." I responded, looking down at my once tan skin that was now a burnt red from being under the hot sun the past week.

 

"Jesus Ethan, at least Emma had the common sense to take care of herself." She continued, pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head.

 

"Thank you!" Emma said, her eyes wide as she looked at my mom.

 

I smiled, seeing how happy she looked in this moment.

 

She deserved happiness.

 

I hope I make her happy enough.

  
"Here you big baby, stop looking so sad." Her voice suddenly brought me out of my thoughts as my shirt was shoved against my chest, making me wince a little as my sensitive skin came in contact with it.

I stuck my tongue out at her childishly and pulled my shirt over my head, pulling my arms through the sleeves.

 

"Let's go say hi to Gray!" She suggested and I slowed my actions, my jaw clenching.

 

"I dunno, he's probably still mad at me for not telling him about Sean." I spoke and her eyes softened as she stepped closer to me.

 

"Ethan, if he's still mad at you then that's bullshit. It's not your fault you didn't want to tell him and if anything, you were protecting him. He has no right to still be mad at you." She explained, sincerity lacing through her gaze.

 

A smile slowly spread across my frowning lips and I stepped closer to her, wrapping my arms around her.

 

"I love you." I said, feeling like I could say it over and over again.

 

"I love you too." She responded, her voice muffled against my chest.

 

"Now stop stalling, time to go." She announced, patting my shirt with her hand as she pulled away from me and started making her way up the stairs.

 

I sighed, following closely behind as we reached the top of the staircase and began walking down the hallway.

 

We reached Grayson's room, his door cracked open slightly.

 

"Gray!" Emma yelled as she shoved the door open, barging into his room.

 

I walked in after her as she looked like she was about to tackle Grayson who was now sitting up on his bed with wide eyes.

 

"I missed you!" Emma continued, leaning down to hug him as gently as possible.

 

He smiled into her shoulder, hugging her back.

 

"Missed you too Em." He mumbled, exhaling through his nose as he closed his eyes momentarily.

 

Emma pulled back from him and I continued to stand by the doorway awkwardly.

 

Emma gave me a look.

 

"Hey Gray, so...how're you feeling?" I asked, internally cringing at the tone of my voice.

 

His darker eyes moved to meet mine and I swallowed slowly, feeling vulnerable as he stared at me for a good amount of seconds.

 

"Better, how are you?" He replied, a smile playing on the corner of his lips and I almost sighed in relief.

 

"Good, good, really good." I responded and he chuckled a little.

 

"That's good, how was the trip?" He asked.

 

"It was really beautiful there and the people were so sweet!" Emma explained and Grayson nodded his head as he listened.

 

"What about the trip there? Did anything exciting happen on the boat ride? Sex on the sea by any chance?" He pressed.

 

Emma's posture tensed a little and she snuck a glance at me, her face starting to turn a little red.

 

I couldn't help the smirk that came across my face, remembering exactly what had happened on the boat ride there.

 

After we made love for the first time, not including when we were drunk at a party and just fucked, there were seven more times throughout the whole week-long trip.

 

The second time was on the way there after we had gone for a morning swim on the boat.

 

The third time was in my hut I was staying in.

 

The fourth time was at night in the ocean when we had free time.

 

The fifth time was in her hut she was staying in.

 

The sixth time was in a tropical restaurant's bathroom.

 

And the seventh time was on the boat ride back, after I needed help properly cleaning a spot on my lower back that I couldn't reach from where I had gotten stung by a small jellyfish.

 

"You guys _did_ fuck, didn't you?!" Grayson exclaimed, snapping me back into reality as my eyes widened.

 

"Tell the whole neighborhood why don't you?!" I said, throwing my arms up in exaggeration.

 

"Ethan." Emma warned, clearly embarrassed that I admitted to Grayson's question.

 

"Who made the first move? It was probably yo–wait no, was it my little innocent Emma?!" Grayson asked excitedly.

 

"Mhm." I responded, raising my eyebrows at the memory.

 

"Ethan!" Emma raised her voice.

 

"Was it good?" Grayson pressed, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

As I opened my mouth to speak Emma shot me a death glare.

 

"Say a single fucking word and I will make _sure_ you can never have children." She threatened and my mouth snapped shut on it's own as I put my hands up in mock surrender.

 

"Damn, where you that feisty in bed?" Grayson asked and Emma gasped, raising her hand and about to slap him across the face.

 

"Ah, ah, ah, you can't do that." Grayson chuckled, stopping her actions as he motioned down at himself.

 

"It's mean to beat up handicapped people Emma." He snickered and she rolled her eyes.

 

"You're lucky." She stated and I snorted.

 

"Kids! Can you all come down here for a second, I wanna have a family meeting real quick." Lisa's voice travelled up the stairs and my eyebrows furrowed.

 

A family meeting about what?

 

"Well don't just stand there, get a move on you two!" Emma shooed at us with her hands and I squinted my eyes at her.

 

"You're going too." I said simply and she gave me a confused look.

 

"It's a _family_ meeting, Ethan." She deadpanned like I was missing something.

 

"Emma, you're a part of this family." I spoke.

 

She looked up at me, her blue eyes glowing against her tanned skin.

 

"Whatever you say." She sighed and I smiled, holding out my hand for her to take.

 

She reached forward and laced our fingers together with a cheesy smile on her face, her nose crinkling a little.

 

I awed at her.

 

"Alright love birds, save it for the bed, let's go." Grayson clapped, standing up slowly and then walking out of his room.

 

"Asshole." I scoffed and heard his laugh from down the hallway.

 

"Love you too!" He sang out and I frowned at his immaturity.

 

✰✰✰

 

**_Emma_**  
**_The Dolan Living Room_**

 

"So...why'd you call a family meeting?" Ethan asked from where he sat beside me on the sofa.

 

Lisa exhaled deeply, folding her hands properly in her lap as she looked down, preparing to speak.

 

My fingers tapped anxiously on my thigh.

 

The whole living room was silent.

 

"While you guys were on your school trip, I had some time to think and...I made some decisions..." Lisa began, trailing off.

 

"Decisions like what?" Ethan asked slowly.

 

"Do you know about this? You were home." Ethan then turned to Grayson and Grayson shrugged, shaking his head.

 

"No clue." He whispered and Ethan pursed his lips, not liking how he didn't know about something.

 

"I filed for a divorce with your father and gained full custody over both you two and Cam." Lisa stated and audible intakes of breath were heard from the twins.

 

My mind raced.

 

"W-what?" Grayson stuttered and Lisa nodded.

 

"Mom..." Ethan trailed off, seeming confused on what to say.

 

"Th-thank you." Ethan then finished and Lisa gazed at her oldest son.

 

"For what?" She asked.

 

"For seeing what was wrong and doing what's right...for caring about us that much that you would make that sacrifice." He explained and she nodded, a soft smile splaying across her lips.

 

She looked like she might cry for a moment.

 

"Yeah, thanks Mom." Grayson added and she smiled at him as well. 

 

I looked down, noticing Ethan's hands were shaking against his thighs and my eyes softened.

 

He just found out he'd never have to see the person who ruined his life ever again and clearly didn't know how to take it.

 

"Hey." I whispered, catching only his attention as I placed my hand over his in a soothing motion.

 

"It's gonna be okay. _We're_ gonna be okay." I whispered for both him and myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's like 1 a.m. now and technically not Thursday anymore but like whatever lol I was busy tn and I forgot but here I am now so yeaaaa! ily all and ty so much for ur support!! <3
> 
> also how do we feel about the new writing style?? yay or nay??


	43. FORTY TWO; NOTICE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read pls tehe

okay y'all I don't have that much time bc I'm leaving to tennessee ATM but basically I don't have time for a chapter rn so u know the drill, extra long chap next thursday tehe. SORRY. i love u and I hope u still love me. :( <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)!


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